


Typhoon at Daybreak

by PinkPetrichor



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Epic Battles, F/M, Fluff in between the angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Imprinting (Twilight), Lukewarm Suicide Attempt, Magical, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Temporary Love Triangle/Square, heavy angst in the beginning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:40:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 128,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23381065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkPetrichor/pseuds/PinkPetrichor
Summary: What if Leah had imprinted on Edward? This is an idea already thought of by many others, but this is how I imagine their story would have unfolded. Follow Leah from the moment she meets Edward in the clearing as she navigates rough waters ahead and attempts to keep the people she loves safe. "Everything inside of me, everything I would ever have or earn or become was his now."
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Embry Call/Original Female Character(s), Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, Jacob Black/Original Female Character(s), Leah Clearwater/Edward Cullen, Rachel Black/Paul Lahote, Sam Uley/Emily Young
Comments: 89
Kudos: 281





	1. Chapter 1

### Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.

"This is bull—!"

"Leah!"

Jacob had come back from the stupid party at the Cullen house that everyone had warned him not to go to, even dumber. Go figure. And what was the dumb demand that night, you ask? That we'd fight on the side of those hellish bloodsuckers, that we'd _aid_ them. Why? Because Bella Swan, who used Jacob like a human tissue, needed protection. I guessed her neutered bloodsucker had dropped the ball and now we were being told to pick it up. The craziest part was that Sam was buying into Jacob's nonsense. Again. Why was I even surprised? Every crazy request that high school idiot had was always granted.

"Why do we always let Jacob break the rules? He tells a human who's on their leash about our secrets! He brings the vampire girl to our territory, onto our grounds and gets no punishment. Now, he's going out there and speaking for the pack? Let me guess, he gets a pass because he's a Black? Because he _could've_ been the alpha? Well, he isn't! _You're_ the alpha and the fact that you're even considering an alliance with these demons—!"

"Shut up, Leah! You're making a fool out of yourself!" Sam bellowed over top of me, standing at his full height as if he could still intimidate me. I knew what he was, saw so clear now what I couldn't before when I was as young and stupid as Jacob. He was exactly like his father.

The whole pack was watching from Emily's place. We'd all agreed to meet up there after Jacob broke the news of how he'd agreed to something on behalf of the pack. Second-in-command or not, that crap couldn't go unchallenged. I couldn't believe he'd thought he could force the pack into anything, but Sam hadn't even addressed it. Jacob had done something completely against what the pack formed for. But, sure, _I_ was the foolish one, the one out of order. I was the unwanted one…always.

I faltered, rushing to get back the anger so it could push away the pain. "Since when does no one care about the Quileute land? Since when am I the only person who cares about keeping our secret a secret?"

"What do you suggest, huh? That we go out against an army of newborns by ourselves?"

I stepped closer to him, ignoring the way he backed away from me like I was the scourge of humanity. "Yes. Let's go out there and kill all of them—I know we can do it!"

"We'll get wiped out, for real this time. None of us would survive and then who would watch over our lands? That can't happen." He shook his head at me, the same look on his face as when he came back after weeks of ignoring me with no explanation. "The only way to stop this threat is to ally ourselves with them and get rid of Victoria once and for all. We're done trying to do this by ourselves as she kills more and more people— _our_ people. Fall in line, do as your told, and try not to get in our way."

"Your way? Get in your way?" He started to walk away and my heart burned in my chest. "I'd hate to inconvenience you and your perfect little life with my cousin! Why don't you let me face the army alone so you and your loyal pack can sit by while I'm ripped apart? I'm sure you'd all prefer it that way!"

He turned around, fury in his eyes. If I knew one thing, it was how to push his buttons, how to make him feel horrible about himself. I excelled at it after sharing a mind with him so many times and I was teeming for a fight. I wanted to hit him and get hit and then hit him harder, to bleed this feeling out of myself. Emily ran out, Jared and Embry on her tail, ready to stop him. I didn't want them to stop him and as a tremor ran through his body, I felt the familiar heat that came right before phasing. It was intense, like a fireball pushing and expanding itself out of you. Heat burned away your body in a painless flame until you could breathe again, and the moment you did, a flood of smells and scents you could've never imagined before rushed through your lungs. I let invisible flames engulf me, my body wracked with tremors, quaking as the heat tried to explode out of me.

"Stop it!" Embry pinned my arms behind my back and Emily jumped to help Sam cool off. "We're going and that's final! Sam is the alpha and what he says goes!"

I aimed a kick at Embry's knee and it worked like a charm, his arms falling off of me as he hissed in pain. "I won't do it. You can, but I won't."

"You're coming," Sam said, his voice booming in that way I couldn't stand. It was worse when we were both phased, but it was bad enough now. "Early morning, show up, or you're out of the pack."

"Sam," Emily called his name, a pleading edge to it. She glanced over at me and I made sure to glare for the second she saw my face. "Let's go back inside."

Sam stared long and hard into my eyes, measuring me. I wondered if he remembered how we used to gaze at each other in my bed. We would giggle over something stupid because it was late and we were both tired. I still remembered him like that, back when he was small for his age and always laughing with me. Somehow, that made it worse to see him like he was now. I looked down, conceding without another word so he'd leave me alone. I couldn't stand to look at him anymore. I couldn't stand to look at the way Emily had her hand on his chest, the engagement ring sparkling and laughing at me.

Emily let out a breath of relief, her heart slowing to a normal pace as Sam allowed her to guide him inside. Embry stayed out with me, even as Jared made some biting comment I ignored before running off after Sam.

It was only when I met Embry's eyes that he asked, "Why can't you try and get along with the pack?" Before I could utter a word, he added, "You're making it hell for everyone, you know."

I spat back at him, " _Good_. Then you know what I have to live through every day."

"Oh, get over yourself, Leah! The world doesn't revolve around you and your drama!" He snapped before running off to go join the others like the obedient little doggy he was. They all made me sick.

I walked home, not wanting to risk hearing them in case they decided to phase for some reason. In the beginning, I hadn't meant to be such a mental drain on everyone, it was just the way I was feeling. If things were even a little normal, I wouldn't have to censor my thoughts and worry about how they'd affect people. But, nothing was normal. And in the beginning, it had been a simple case of getting used to sharing one mind, it was completely innocent when I'd slip. A thought here, a thought there, it was forgivable. They hadn't always hated me.

The point where it all became purposeful and personal was after Jacob had started to mock me. I knew why he'd started it; Bella pulled Jacob around like a toddler trying to walk a newborn puppy on a short leash. I pointed that out. The reason why it kept getting worse between me and him was because I was the uncomfortable reminder. Every time I was miserable, it was a reminder that Bella would always be a raw nerve for him, a constant, gnawing pain. Bella was his Sam. The rest of them let Jacob say whatever bull-crap he wanted, so they deserved punishment, too. I'd always get three for one by bringing up Embry's paternity conflict, but I was always thinking of new methods.

"Leah!" Seth's voice echoed through the forest I'd been storming through for the last minute. I slowed down so he could catch up. "Why did you do that?"

"Because I don't agree with him and I don't have to always agree with him. I have a mind of my own!" No one seemed to understand that. I wanted to blame it on the fact that they were all stupid boys, but it was pretty clear they hated me for who I was now. "And if you believe something's opposite of what Sam says, you should speak up, too. Doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks!"

He looked at me like I was crazy. Crazy was better than what I was usually accused of acting like. "Sam knows what he's doing, he's a great alpha. The only reason I'd ever disagree with him is if he's doing something wrong and he isn't. And Jacob's a good person, too, so he wouldn't ask us to do this if he didn't have to. Things would be better if you could just agree to get along with everyone, I promise." I picked up my pace, only for him to jump in front of me and stop me in my tracks. "I'm not a kid anymore, Leah! Won't you just listen to me for a second?"

Seth was rangy and tall, muscles coming in after all the training Sam had put him, Collin and Brady through. He saw fit to keep them sharp with Victoria active in Forks, saw them as warriors who needed to stay sharp. All I saw was my baby brother when I looked at him. I still heard my dad's voice in the back of my mind the day he was born, ordering me to protect him with all my strength since I had plenty to spare. And I was the reason Seth didn't get to hear Dad tell that story to him ever again.

"You are a kid. You're my kid brother and you should be listening to me and not the other way around. Don't follow anyone blindly because everyone—I mean everyone, Seth—messes up at some point. Even Jacob—God knows why you think he's so great even after hearing his pathetic thoughts." Seth scowled at the negative-Jacob remark. Sometimes, I couldn't stand how he looked up to him. Other days, I was just glad it wasn't Paul or Quil, or worse. "I'm going to go, alright? So, leave me alone about it until then."

"I want you to try and be nicer, Leah. I know they'd love you like I do if you were just a little nicer to them." He looked like he wanted to say something else to me, but he stepped out of my way.

I continued marching straight home. A bed sounded like a dream to me and it was always better to muffle my screams with a pillow.

Thinking about it, I could understand why the younger members of the pack would like Jacob. He's super great at being a wolf and being so irritatingly ok with that side of himself, but he sucked as a human. He pushed his Bella drama off on anyone who would listen, or anyone who was in a five-mile radius of him. Then he had the guts to act like he'd invented a complicated love life. He was so loud about how it was torture to see Bella and torture to be away from Bella and torture having to be civil. To be fair, for being a demon that looked like a man, Edward was sorta bearable, easy to be reasonable and civil with. I'd thought that from the moment I saw him in Jacob's mind, a fact that Paul teased me about for days. The teasing ended when I punched Paul hard enough in the side to crack a rib.

Anyway, it was ridiculous how much the respected and loved, almost-alpha, was complaining. The solution was so easy, so _simple_. Jacob could leave her life any time he wanted and find some girl stupid enough to date him. He had a choice. I didn't.

I started running through the woods to try and burn off the anger that I'd built up. I ended up letting it simmer in the pit of my stomach since it didn't look like I'd get to fight it out of my system any time soon. Things would've gotten better between me and Sam if we could've fought, they would've been great, even. The only thing was that everyone was so up-in-arms about infighting in the pack. Jacob and Paul could punch each other black and blue, but God forbid Sam get a nice knee to the stomach. And they'd looked disgusted with me for even suggesting hashing things out with a bit of violence. The _hypocrites_.

When I finally got home, my mom was already in bed, leaving me free to camp out on the couch, unbothered as I watched TV. It was as good as it ever got for me. So, I put on my favorite slasher movie and popped a bag of popcorn and cracked a window before sitting back down. The smell would've driven me and Seth crazy later on, otherwise. Rain pelted the siding of the house in the middle of the movie and I got back up to close the window, spotting Seth and Collin off in the distance. The meeting had ended early, unfortunately.

I tried to ignore the two as they crept inside, focusing instead on Leatherface as he revved his chainsaw. I was glad I didn't have to make them shut up since they'd already noticed Mom's light in her window was out. It saved me the trouble of an argument I didn't need. Collin flopped down on the couch, making himself way too at home as I continued to try and ignore his existence.

"Seth, why is this one here?"

"Don't be like that Leah. You look nice today, by the way." Seth sat down on the other side of me, reaching into my bowl. "Is that perfume that I smell?"

I turned to my brother, ignoring the little twerp who'd made it a habit to always be at my house. "What time do we have to get up for this stupid thing?"

"So early that it's better to stay up than try and sleep," Seth answered, shoving a handful of my popcorn into his mouth. He stole food from me all the time, like it was his profession. It started when he was young and I'd had to learn fast how not to kill my little brother. "What are we watching?"

"You two are watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre. _I'm_ going for a walk." I got up and went outside before either of them could make any kind of comment on my choice to leave.

"Wait up, we'll come with," Seth said, misunderstanding why I'd left in the first place. Seth smiled at me, shoving a handful of _my_ popcorn into his mouth as he walked with me. His little sidekick jogged on the other side of me, way too close. "Hey, sis, what do you think they'll teach us?"

"Maybe vampires a have a weak spot that we've never found out about before," Collin suggested, excited. "Man, that'd be so cool! They could teach us all the secrets and stuff—we'll be able to kill any cold one we come across."

"Or they'll teach us better techniques to use for fighting mobs of them at the same time. This three-on-one approach that's been our go-to for years won't work in this situation. We've been fighting battles all this time, but this is gonna be a war. They'll teach us guerrilla warfare and then we'll slaughter anything that comes onto that field." Seth held a fist up and I knew better than to leave him hanging, he'd just whine. I bumped my fist against his, as ridiculous as it was. "If any of us die, I'll kill Jacob for it."

"What if you die?" Collin asked, sending a little shock through my heart.

I'd thought countless times about ways to commit suicide at the beginning of phasing. Dying always seemed like a happy alternative to me when I thought about my life and how fast it had run into a dead-end. I didn't go to college because I'd wanted to stay in the tribe and someday take my dad's place in the tribal council. That was the plan for once I was much, much older and settled. And I'd always expected to outlive my favorite person in the world, I just never considered it would be by this much. I thought I had the time to work with Jared's mom at the gift shop in La Push for as long as I wanted. I thought I'd marry the right guy and settle down with kids who I'd tell stories to every night. I thought I'd marry Sam. I thought my dad would someday walk me down the aisle to marry Sam. I thought I'd be best friends with Emily forever and she'd be my maid of honor. I thought I'd be normal, boring all my life with all the people I loved surrounding me. I thought a lot of things. I never thought I'd be fighting an army of vampires because Jacob Black had a crush on their target, but there I was anyway. I thought I'd wanted to die, but even imagining falling to the cold-blooded demons made my blood boil. So, what if I did die? What would happen then?

"I'll come back to life to kill Jake, I know that much." Collin laughed at my comment, but Seth seemed worried that I'd follow through on it.

Seth suggested before I could, "Let's talk about something else."

I stayed quiet, listening to the two go on about school life and how cool they found different members of the pack. It was annoying, but since they were so determined not to leave me alone, I didn't bother complaining at them. It was most likely Seth's idea anyway. He always stuck to me like glue after a fight with Sam. Softy.

"Whatever happens, I'm definitely going to get more of them than you will. I'm way better at fighting than you," Collin said to Seth, igniting an argument that lasted all the way back to the house. I had to hit them both over the head to make them shut up and act their ages.

"I'll wake up Mom," I told Seth once we were back inside the house and Collin left to go change and get ready.

Everyone always said the same word about my mom when referencing her since Dad passed: Strong. Sue is so strong, Leah. You're so much like your mom, Leah, so strong. Tell your mother I said stay strong, Leah. It was all the same, all about strength. It pissed me off. Who decided what was strong when it came to losing someone you loved? Why was it strong to only suffer on the inside? My mom never sobbed, wailed, or wept after Dad's funeral, but she felt every bit as helpless as anyone in her position did. She wasn't invincible, there were days when she'd had unshed tears shining in her eyes until she went back to bed. People treated her like losing her life-partner was some sort of test that she was so "strong" to be able to pass. To me, all that crap they said just implied that she would be weak if she ever allowed herself to scream, to wail, to let it out. She'd had people encourage her to block it all out and keep going like it would somehow get easier. It didn't get any easier for me with Sam and my mom built an entire life around the man she loved, around my father. If people had treated my mom the way the pack dealt with me whenever I mourned my past love, I would've killed them.

It wasn't every morning that she needed me. It wasn't every day that she would sit up and leave behind a wet pillowcase and Dad's favorite sweatshirt on the bed. Whenever it was, I made a point to be there. Gods, it killed me to see her like that, to see her waiting to die and meet him again. I still forced myself to look every single time. Because it was my fault. How could I shy away from the result of what I'd done? If I hadn't phased, if I'd just controlled myself—

"Good morning," Mom greeted me, already sitting up when I opened the door to her room. She patted the bed beside her and I closed the door behind myself as I came in to sit. "It's raining today, again. I'm not surprised, but I still always hope that the forecasts will be wrong and the sun will shine."

"Like I've said a hundred times, we should move somewhere else so we can see the sun."

She sighed, placing her hand on my leg. "You know why we can't leave." I had a million counterarguments for her reasons for staying, but I couldn't bring myself to fight with her, not since that day. "And maybe we'd get spoiled in places like California and Texas. We'd see the sun all the time and forget why we missed it, remembering all the rain from before."

"Grass is always greener on the other side."

"Exactly," she concurred, smiling at me with tired eyes. "It will always look better from way over here, too far to see the imperfections. So, today, let's just try to enjoy our side of the grass. I have two great kids, a job I like, coworkers I get along with, friends that are irreplaceable to me. How could I not be happy on this side?"

"So, you're just gonna be happy from now on?" I couldn't help the doubt in my question, even though I did want to support her.

She patted my leg and then stood up, stretching out her arms. "I'm going to try to be," she said through a yawn.

Her bathroom door clicked shut after she walked behind me and around the bed, but I sat still on the bed, staring out of the window. It wasn't pouring rain, but it was just enough to be annoying, so I was glad when it stopped. The clouds stayed, though, threatening to start another shower at any moment. I left the room when I heard Mom's blow dryer come on and found Seth on the couch downstairs, his left leg shaking as he looked lost in thought.

"Just tell me what's wrong so I can tell you to man up," I said, snapping him out of whatever train of thought he'd been in. "Come on."

He stood up, hair still wild from his last phase and faint dark circles under his eyes. "I was just thinking…maybe one of us should sit out this fight. And you already don't wanna do it, so maybe it could be you."

I crossed my arms. "I want to fight, I just don't want to have to be in the presence of those demons longer than necessary."

"No, I know you'd love to fight, I just meant—well, one of us should sit it out, for Mom's sake." My arms fell back down to my sides and he gave a nervous little smile that reminded me of his first day at school. "Heavy, I know. But shouldn't we at least talk about it?"

"I thought you trusted Sam as an alpha. He made it clear he needs every one of us."

"Maybe he's just been too busy thinking about the upcoming war, so he forgot to think about the people we're trying to protect." Crap. When did he get so smart? "So, should we ask him?"

It felt like a stone was in my stomach. The thought of outliving Seth was something I'd never considered on purpose. "I won't sit this one out, it would be you who sits it out because Mom forgave me for one, but I won't be forgiven twice."

"Leah—"

"End of story. So, ask Sam to wuss out if you want, but he'll probably say no anyway." I looked at the digital clock by the TV, the red numbers showing me that hours had passed without me noticing. "Either way, I have your back. You know that, right?"

He smiled, his face lighting up again. Good. "I know. Even if it's really annoying, you're always there."

"What more can a big sister do for her kid brother?"

"I'm _not_ a kid."

I wagged a finger at him the way I knew irritated him to death. "See, that's exactly what a kid says. An adult would say that they wish they were still a kid. Now, come on, it's time to go." Mom came down the stairs just in time, her hair and makeup done and dressed in her scrubs for the day.

She kissed Seth's cheek and hugged me goodbye, and then grabbed a thermos full of coffee to go. Seth and I watched her drive off for a long day of work. We waited for her car's taillights to disappear into the dark before we phased to connect with the others. It was always odd at first, feeling the others thoughts as my own raced forward.

 _Nice of you to join us,_ Paul thought.

 _Don't feel like you have to wait up, Paul. I'll always catch up with you in no time,_ I thought. _A half-dead squirrel could catch up with you._

 _Save it for the newborns, you two,_ Sam ordered.

Jacob's thoughts spiralled into a Bella frenzy as he thought about how he was going to see her again. Pathetic.

 _I don't think you wanna get onto the topic of pathetic people,_ Jacob thought. He was always so ready to defend the girl who enjoyed kissing a corpse more than him. _Yeah, and when was the last time you kissed anyone? Oh, wait…_

_You wait until I see you, Jacob Black, I'll—_

_Silence_! Sam used the alpha-voice, the sound forcing a whimper through my muzzle. I ran to catch up with the others, a disappointed Seth trailing behind. _There's no telling what we'll be walking into with the Cullens, we need to be a united front. Take this seriously because this isn't about Bella or Victoria. This is about the fate of Forks, the fate of the Quileutes. Get along, or else._

Everyone was quiet and I could only think of running and the stench that my nose was going to have to endure. Was there anything that smelled worse than the cold ones?

 _Jared's socks. I make him keep his shoes on when he comes over,_ Quil thought with an internal shudder. The pack remembered different instances with Jared's gym socks until I was about to hurl.

 _We're close now, let's rally up and discuss before the mind-reader can hear us,_ Sam ordered. Seth and I broke through the trees and found the pack already huddled together. The rain had let up for a while, only to end its tiny dry spell earlier this morning. The air smelled nice, like…

 _Petrichor_ , Embry finished my thought, saving me from hours of having it just on the tip of my tongue. There were some perks to sharing thoughts.

 _The mind-reader will speak for us and we'll keep our distance. Quil, Collin, you go around the back so you can flank them in case something happens. Carlisle and I will speak and I decide which questions get asked. Do not speak directly to the mind-reader, he needs to hear me over all of you_. Sam barked out orders, a few I didn't like. _What do you have to ask that's so important then, Leah_?

 _Why have the vampires come for Bella anyway? And would it really be so bad if we just handed her over_?

Jacob lunged at me and the two of us ended up fighting on the ground. We scuffled, biting and scratching each other until Sam broke the two of us up. He snarled, looking bigger in the night with his hackles raised.

_Enough. If I have to say something about you two again, you'll both sit out the whole fight. Do you understand?_

_So what? I can't even defend myself anymore?_ I asked, lifting a hind leg that was still too tender to lean on after Jacob's surprise attack. _Fine! I'll just suck it up, as always! Jacob can do whatever he wants and I'll just shut up and deal with it!_

 _The both of you need to shut up and deal with it!_ Sam roared and I winced along with Jacob.

 _C'mon, guys. Can't we just get along?_ Seth thought of an old memory of me and Jacob joking and laughing together. Pain lashed at my heart when Dad entered the memory, asking if we wanted pizza for dinner. Everyone groaned and scolded Seth. _What? I was just trying to help!_

 _Yeah, well you made it worse,_ Jared accused, nodding his head in my direction. _Can we just get this over with so I don't have to deal with her moping again?_

 _S'not like we're actually going to learn anything new. I'm pretty sure we're better at killing their kind than they are,_ Paul thought. Memories of him hunting down Laurent played over again through our heads.

 _Funny. I seem to remember this._ Embry recalled Paul falling into a river trying to chase down Victoria. Jacob laughed, others did too, but he laughed the loudest.

 _It's not like you could catch her, either!_ Paul growled.

 _That's exactly why we're here. Separated, we've not been able to table this problem. Together, we can handle this. We must unify our forces,_ Sam thought, hammering in the point of teamwork for what I hoped was the last time. _Collin, Quil, you in place?_

 _Yep,_ Collin thought back. He'd narrowly avoided a skunk on his way into position. _Should we start advancing?_

Sam looked at all of us, a harshness clear in his eyes. We weren't allowed to mess this up, not with so much at stake. Brady thought about all he had to lose, triggering everyone else to think about who exactly we came here for. Seth and I were here for our mom and the memory of our father. Sam was here for us, to try and save our way of life…and of course, Emily.

 _Quick, before she can sulk!_ Jared thought and darted off.

Sam ran ahead and we all followed him, Jared eventually falling behind him. I had to go extra slow, but I didn't mind it since all I was running towards anyway were the cold ones. As we got closer, the stench came and everyone noticed it around the same time, unable to help but wince against the smell of it. Weirdly enough, though, there was a pleasant smell mixed in. It was very nice, like candy, but none like I'd ever caught a whiff of before. I'd smelled it before, too.

 _Leah and the phantom smell, tale as old as time,_ Paul thought, getting one last jab in before Sam slowed to a stop. We'd reached them, their stench was oozing toward us.

I had to edge out from around the guys and we all ended up lining up on both sides of Sam. A natural order for us when facing a threat. One sweet voice from the clearing warned, "Prepare yourselves—they've been holding out on us."

 _Sweet?_ Jared questioned as we edged forward.

The big one muttered something of no importance and I marked him as my target if all hell broke loose. After him, I spotted a tiny one next to a tall, lean blonde one with a smirk on his face as he examined us. Another blonde one stepped closer to the big one, protective of him in her stance. Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. Esme and Carlisle were more off to the side, stuck together. All our memories filled in the blanks, explaining who each one was.

"The pack has grown," the voice spoke again, calling my attention like someone had struck a gong.

 _Leah, what are you doing? Get a grip,_ Sam thought, though he didn't sound angry. He sounded concerned, nervous, his thought travelling quick.

"Fascinating."

Carlisle stepped forward and I finally spotted Bella, standing beside—

_Leah!?_

_What's happening to Leah?_

_Leah! Are you ok?_

_Sam, help her! They did something!_

_Leah, please! Answer us!_

_Leah? Leah?_ Sam called to me before all their voices disappeared.

Edward.


	2. Chapter 2

### Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.

All the pain I'd shouldered for months, for years, melted and flowed away. It disappeared as the most comforting warmth I'd ever known filled every part of me. A sense of enlightenment enriched me down to what must've been my very soul—I knew now what my life had been missing.

But it wasn't my life anymore.

My sense of self melted and I didn't mind it. I melted, like ice that had been gently warmed back into a flowing river, and poured into an empty, dry, channel. A channel that had been thirsting for water in a drought that had lasted for an eternity until this moment. I was myself again, but different, and I belonged to someone else.

Everything inside of me, everything I would ever have or earn or become was his now. And I was drowning, my whole body reacting like I'd been plunged underwater. I was weightless and tethered to nothing, but I was safe. I knew I'd always be able to breathe again because he was there now and there was nothing I couldn't or wouldn't do for him. The longing I'd felt before to forget Sam, to forget Emily, paled and cowered. It didn't stand a chance next to the sensation that coursed through my veins, buzzing and humming. It was over, life as I knew it had ended.

_Leah?_ Sam's voice faded back into my mind.

The senseless background buzzing came to the forefront of my mind again—the voices of the pack rushed in. They were all yelling over each other, asserting their opinions like it changed anything. It was chaos in my head. I could see the Cullens getting anxious as a few of the guys whined and growled from the line. But it happened, whether any of them like it or not.

I'd imprinted on a cold one.

_YES!_ Jacob screamed over top of everyone, joy incarnate as he thought of how Bella would be free to be his. He envisioned himself with children that had her eyes. _Yes, yes, yes!_

_I have to speak to him,_ I thought. In fact, that was the only thought that was mine in the mess that was in my head.

"I can hear you," he spoke, his eyes darting over to me from where they'd been glued to Sam.

I was pinned by gold. He was so beautiful.

Edward winced and said, "But I don't understand. How could this have happened?"

"Edward, please, tell me what's going on," Carlisle pleaded, flashing over to Edward to place a comforting hand on his shoulder.

But, no, Edward couldn't tell him—he just couldn't. The pack's reaction alone was enough to deal with, so he couldn't tell anyone else. For God's sake, he was still holding Bella's hand.

Edward glanced down at Bella as he murmured, "I'll tell you later, Carlisle. For now, let's continue."

_You heard him. We will continue as planned and discuss this later. Focus!_ Sam ordered. No one had any choice but to do as he said.

Even as everyone focused and watched the demonstrations, there was discord. It was a rock in everyone's stomach, the fact that I'd gone and done something again. Except, it was worse this time. Unforgivable. That word circled around a few times before Sam would silence whoever threw it at me in a muted accusation.

It was surreal that Sam was defending me, using his power and authority to help me out. Usually, I was the one he used all that stuff against.

And Edward did an amazing job tuning the idiots out. He was amazing at fighting, too. Moved like—

_Stop swooning over him, traitor!_ Paul's accusation cut me to my core.

Was that what I was now? I'd been rude, evil, cruel, unreasonable, annoying, unwanted… Undesired. And now, was I traitor? My father—oh, Dad, what had I done? I hadn't meant to.

I found myself backing out of the line.

_Paul, do not speak!_ Sam ordered in his alpha voice. _Leah, you should stay. I promise I'll help you sort all this out afterwards and you can leave if you want to, but you should try to stay._

_I want to stay. I want to see how they fight._ I needed to keep an edge on fighting, to learn with everyone else.

I tried to suppress it so hard, but it still seeped through. I needed to stay close to Edward. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving and it was even worse to think about staying.

Every single option was terrible. Every single one of my thoughts was mortifying. It was the fact that Edward knew what I was thinking that made it so much _worse!_

_On second thought, go home. You're too distracting. Get some rest and I'll see if I can get them to meet with us later today,_ Sam thought, cutting me major slack. Why?

No, I didn't care. I just wanted to leave—and, oh, I needed to _stay_.

Jacob continued to celebrate and have random bursts of joy as I sprinted away, back home. I'd never moved so fast before. I was home in a handful of minutes and I didn't wait to phase back until I got inside.

My legs quivered and I missed the support of having four of them as I stumbled into my house. I fell onto my hands and knees in my living room and gasped, trying to breathe, trying to think, trying not to feel.

It was a while until I could stand again and I was still unsteady on my feet. Somehow, I'd expected the entire world to look different now that I'd imprinted. As far as I could tell, my house was the same and so was the world.

The stairs were the same as always, it was only me that'd changed any. I was the one having a difficult time walking because my legs were trembling like I'd been in a ten-hour earthquake. My head spun, my vision blurred with unshed tears, the stairs stayed the same.

When I got to the top of the unchanging stairwell, I stumbled into the bathroom. I wanted to scrub off my day, scrub off what I'd done—what I wouldn't have chosen to do in a million years. But, it didn't matter, did it? What I wanted never mattered and never would again because now, Edward was all that mattered. What he wanted, I would make happen, despite myself.

Thinking about it, it had to be payback. This all had to be payback for what I'd done to my dad. I'd tortured him before I killed him. Every day, we'd fight about nothing and I'd say the sharpest things I could think of. And even being a murderer, I still had it in myself to criticize others, to criticize Sam.

Now, after one morning, I was as bad as Emily, as bad as Sam? Bella was in love with my—no, with Edward. Just Edward. He couldn't be mine, he was hers. And while I couldn't stand the thought of taking him away, it was worse imagining leaving him with her. Everything was worse.

Everything always got worse.

I stood in the shower, the hot water doing nothing to my tensed muscles. At some point, when the skin of my fingertips started to scrunch up, I decided I wouldn't accept it. The next time I saw Edward Cullen, I wouldn't let myself feel anything—not that I was going to see him again anyway.

No, I needed to avoid him. And I was out of the pack, I had no doubt about that. Everyone had been looking for a reason, anything at all to get rid of me, and I just gave them their golden ticket—

But it didn't even make sense! No one had ever imprinted on someone who wasn't a part of a tribe or some distant relative of our ancient bloodlines. No shapeshifter had ever been a woman, either.

God, why me? _Why me?_

I got out of the shower, letting water pour off of me as I ran to my room. Deep in my closet, under piles of clothes I was too lazy to hang up, was my suitcase. There was nothing left to do but pack.

Seth would take care of Mom, Jacob would take care of Seth and I would move to Timbuktu. Or I'd backpack across Europe. I'd always thought that was stupid and pointless, but now I didn't have anything else to do or anywhere else to be. Plus, my savings weren't exactly astonishing and backpacking was cheap—

How had I imprinted on a _cold one?_ Of all the terrible choices in the world, a cold one? How could I backpack across Europe knowing what I'd done?

I needed to jump off a high building, for real this time. Because now, there was no hope, no dream of a better future just around the bend. Imprinting, the one thing that should've saved me, screwed me over. It had been stupid of me to expect anything else, looking at the pattern in my life.

So, what was the highest building in Forks anyway? Wait, no, I wouldn't do it in Forks. I hated living there, why would I have wanted to die there? Writing a note was common decency, though, wasn't it?

No, no note. I sucked at writing and I had nothing to say. Plus, an apology from the grave always struck me as insincere. I was sure it wasn't for some, but it would've been for me. And to my mom, it would've been insult added to injury.

A will was useless. I only owned horror movie posters and plants and I was pretty much flat broke, so I didn't know. I guessed they could just put anything of mine they didn't want in the thrift store. I'd only been to a thrift store once or twice, but I'd found something I loved both times. I was sure someone would look at one of my things on a thrift store shelf someday and think that it was amazing. They would never know how it got there or look down on it because they knew who used to own it, they'd just treasure it. That was what I wanted for my things.

I left a note to put my stuff in the thrift store, Seth couldn't get depressed over such a short note. My mom could feel closure granting my last wish or whatever.

Abandoning the half-filled suitcase I'd been staring at on idle, I found that I wasn't nervous like the last time. The last time I was ready to die had been the day after my dad's funeral. That was the same day I learned how fast you healed after your first phase. So, it had to be a pretty freaking tall building.

I strode out of the front door, ready to drive out of town. There was only one decision. I didn't want to live a life like this, I never did.

"Leah," Sam's voice startled me and instead of unlocking my car, I put a hole through the door with my key.

I leaned down and rested my forehead against the window of my crappy van. "Say it. I'm out of the pack."

"You're not out of the pack." I didn't know if Sam saying that made me feel better or worse. But when I turned around to face him, I almost had a heart attack.

Edward was there. He was standing next to Carlisle, who was staring at me like I was the eighth wonder of the world. Both of them had changed into nicer clothes, the kind you saw CEOs wear on TV. I felt idiotic in my worn t-shirt and jeans, no shoes on since I hadn't thought I was going to need shoes.

After noticing the Cullens, I saw Jacob and Jared flanking Sam. Jacob was grinning from ear-to-ear. "Where do you think you're going? We haven't even started yet."

"We've come to discuss the situation," Sam added, solemn as I'd ever seen him.

I couldn't even imagine what Sam was thinking. The cold ones were back on our lands all because of me. God, even when I'd gone out of my way to try and hurt the pack, I never did something even close to this level of treasonous. But nothing felt better, nothing felt more right than having Edward standing there. Ancestors, forgive me, but he belonged here.

Edward turned his eyes away from me with his jaw clenched. My heart stuttered in my chest. I couldn't upset him, that was the last thing I wanted. I was sorry. I didn't want him to be angry.

"What's there to discuss?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"How about the fact that you imprinted on a bloodsucker?" Jacob asked, still reeking with glee.

"What are you smiling about, Jake? Even if you were the last guy on earth, Bella would choose a cactus over you just so she could lead you on some more." Edward winced at my barb. My heart plummeted. "I'm sorry, I—I mean, if that's what he wants, I'll do it. I'll…discuss."

Sam nodded, glancing at Edward. "We've all agreed that talking things out and using our heads would be best. They didn't want this happening any more than we did. And, Carlisle, being a doctor, has decided he's going to help us. It's sort of an equal exchange for us contributing with the newborns."

"Help us? Help us how?" I looked to the blonde vampire, not trusting the smile on his face.

Carlisle smelled sweet like all the other cold ones, but different. Like someone had coated a moldy honeybun in dry ice and stuck it up my nose. It wasn't the most pleasant, but it wasn't the least. Emmett had smelled the worst back in the clearing.

I shuddered, the unnatural sweetness mixing with the nature all around and wet soil. Carlisle's eyes didn't miss it before he answered, "Leah, I'm quite experienced in the medical field. I know much of a vampire's physiology and—"

"This would be better to discuss inside," Edward chimed in, his voice even more pleasant when he was so close. It was like the sound of it caressed my eardrums before reaching my mind. It was lovely.

He was lovely in general; golden eyes fixed above defined cheekbones, a sharp jawline that added to the angular beauty of his face. It was like the sharp edges were there on purpose, to remind me that beneath it all, he was more dangerous than any blade. His expression, though… Let's just say he didn't look enthused.

"Leah, may we continue this discussion inside?"

I'd been quiet for too long. My hands balled into fists as Jacob cackled, but the anger faded into the background when I met Edward's gaze. He was staring at me, expectant.

"Yeah, of course. Please, come inside." Jacob could go to hell and so could Jared, but the idea of Edward in my house was too tempting to pass up. I'd have to suffer the idiots.

Carlisle's face lit up at my invitation and Edward's stayed painfully blank, devoid of anything. Sam nodded towards my house and I caught it from the corner of my eye since I was still staring at Edward like a moron. I went back toward my house and led them inside.

We all ended up in the dining room, sat around the dinged up dining table. It felt like we were at a very strange business meeting and the only people dressed for it were the vampires.

"Sam spoke with us a little on our way over here. He informed me that imprinting on one of my kind is something that's never happened before. We exchanged theories on the reason why, but we'd like to hear what you think," Carlisle said with a smile.

And crap, what did I know? I hadn't even been phasing for a year yet.

I shrugged, my arms still tight across my chest. "Well, I'm the first girl shapeshifter, too. Maybe that has something to do with it."

Jacob displayed his grin, the one that I'd always wanted to punch off his face. "She's always been an overachiever, Doc."

"Don't talk to her, Jake," Jared barked.

I guessed, I didn't even deserve the ridicule anymore, in Jared's book.

The thing was, I was just waiting for Old Quil to come rain lightning and thunder down on me. He'd be the one to kick me out for the betrayal before I could even think to fall to my knees to beg. As long as Seth could stay after it was all said and done, I was good. He loved the pack, he deserved to stay and he deserved a better sister than me. A better life.

"You're a very special woman, Leah," Carlisle told me. Unlucky, my mind corrected. "And I think that, firstly, we should touch base on how the imprinting happened. After that, of course, tests must be run."

"Tests?" I looked over to Sam and it surprised me when I saw how tense he was.

Sam had made sure not to give me a corner of his heart, even for sympathy. I couldn't blame him, either. Even an inch of would have meant the world if he'd ever given it. I would've never given up on trying to win him back, despite knowing it would never happen. But now, I could see the concern on his face, I could tell he was worrying—not about me, but _for_ me.

Oh, God, what was going to happen that had Sam feeling bad for me?

"There's nothing you should be concerned over, Leah," Carlisle tried to reassure me. The panic must've come through on my face. And was it just me or was he using my name way too much?

"Really? There's _nothing_ I should be concerned about?" Somehow, I doubted that.

"We are going to do everything we can to try and understand this bond and then destroy it, if at all possible. I promise you that, Leah."

Destroy?

I'd found my one on all the earth and all that anyone wanted to do was take that away from me? I didn't know why that struck me like it was some kind of a surprise. No matter what I did or where I went—even if I couldn't control it—people rejected me. Unwanted, _again_. This was exactly why I needed to find the highest building and—

"That's not the answer to this problem," Edward interrupted my train of thought. It sounded like he was scolding someone.

My body reacted to the frustration in his voice by throwing another ton of stress down on my shoulders. What had upset him?

Oh, right. Mind-reader. Not the best time to think about committing suicide.

Jacob looked between me and Edward, he'd caught on to who Edward had replied to. That idiot was used to the mind-reading after chasing Bella around for the better part of a year.

After a moment, Jacob nodded and said, "You know, I see it, Sam."

"Jacob," Sam called, an unspoken warning to his voice.

Jacob didn't care. "These two make a perfect couple. The harpy and the bloodsucker, tale as old as time."

"Ok, why are you even _here_? Get the hell out of my house!" I stood up and so did Jacob, the two of us already shaking, ready to go.

He was pushing my buttons at the wrong time if he expected anything from me other than a black eye that'd last him a week. I was ready to tear him a new one—to literally tear him to pieces. Bet he couldn't heal from _that_.

"Don't fight. I can't imagine anything less warranted than a fight. That would be a waste of everyone's time and energy, of which we all have precious little," Edward said. In fact, that was the most he'd said since he got here.

"We're not gonna fight. But, just to be clear, that doesn't mean I agree with him being here. At all." I sat back down with enough force to make the wooden legs of my chair creak. Jacob fumed on his feet for a little while, asserting his pride before he sat back down, too.

Out of nowhere, I realized I was fighting back tears. I'd never cried in front of anyone except my mom and Seth, especially not in front of members of the pack. I wasn't even sure why I was tearing up now out of all the other worst days of my life. I couldn't help it, though. It all felt like some cruel joke, how I kept getting stuck in these situations. I didn't want this, didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for any of it, so why was I the traitor and the harpy?

I hated it.

"Excuse me for a second." I got up, my chair scraping across the floor as I did.

I left them at the table and rushed into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind myself. I wasn't sure why I locked it, I just felt like I needed the lock. It was the same concept of pulling open your shower curtain even when you knew no one was there. Sometimes, you needed to lock the door even when you knew no one was going to force their way in.

God, I wanted to scream again.

I wanted to sing, to cry, to dance. I'd imprinted on the most perfect man who was my enemy and had a girlfriend. And out of all the things I wanted to do, including running away and never looking back, I only allowed myself one thing. I leaned over the sink and splashed my face with cold water. That was it. That was my fix, that was my way of trying to release the building pressure, the growing heat.

It didn't help.

"Sorry," I grumbled when I got back to the dining room. I plopped back down in my seat, slumping into it.

As much as I wanted to avoid him, my eyes wouldn't let me look at anyone other than Edward. He stiffened in his chair when my eyes landed on him.

Carlisle took it upon himself to continue the discussion. "We understand this must be very overwhelming. From what Edward's described to me, you've gone through something quite intense."

Edward had talked about me? Common sense kicked me in the head because, of course, he'd talked about me. How else could he and Carlisle have decided to come here with Sam? Still, what'd he say?

"Would you mind describing it in your own words?" Carlisle asked when I didn't say anything to his last remark.

"How it felt to imprint?" I clarified, sighing when the doctor nodded a soft affirmative. "Uh…I dunno. It happened, as usual, the way everyone always said it would happen and experienced it. But I think it was a little different. My mind automatically compared it to water."

"For me, it was like falling into quicksand," Sam commented, helping me out for some reason. "At first, it's the entire world-changing and gravity-shifting thing, but then it differs. My stomach dropped like I was falling, but I felt embraced, like my body had been enveloped in quicksand. There was no escaping, but I didn't want to, even when I did."

"Mine was kinda like that. It was a little different, though," I admitted, able to since Sam could look at me without any malice for it.

I still felt like myself when I talked to Sam, he still treated me like me. Jared wouldn't even look at me, though, and Jacob kept up his crap-eating grin.

I bit the inside of my cheek hard, pushing down the burning anger as Jacob cackled under his breath. "It was like water poured into a channel that had been carved for a river but hadn't gotten a drop 'til now. And I was the river, but I was also in the river and I ended and began at one place."

"And that place would be?" Carlisle asked.

He was really going to make me say it, wasn't he? Fine. "Edward."

Edward's pale pink lips twisted into another little frown that sent a pang of distress through my chest. "See? It's as I said."

"I needed to hear it in her words," Carlisle replied to Edward, not taking his eyes off of me for a second. "Tell me, did anything change after you imprinted on him? I know about the devotion, but I was wondering if there were any physical aspects to it."

"I couldn't walk very well, but I think I was just in shock or something. Otherwise, I'm still the same as always." Jacob snorted at my comment and I shot him a pointed glare.

"Other than the obvious influx of emotions you've experienced, have there been any changes to how you perceive Edward?"

Jacob crossed his arms, settling in with all the smugness he could manage. I guessed it was only fair he got to revel in my misery after how many times I embarrassed him in our races. For being of the alpha bloodline, he was _really_ slow. And also, physically slow.

Edward chuckled, the sound like music, the sweetest song I'd been waiting to hear all my life. He liked making fun of Jacob, too—good to know.

"Before I imprinted, I saw him in Jacob's memories and thought he was nice. I didn't imprint, though." Jared scoffed from the end of the table, the farthest he could get away from me. "Problem?"

"Leah, don't," Sam chided, less of a bite to it than I would've expected.

"Edward expressed interest in meeting you. I reasoned that he was curious about the only female shapeshifter, but it may go deeper than that. This requires more investigation," Carlisle decided. Then, with a sweet smile, he asked me, "May I have something to write on, Leah?"

"Sure." I got up, grateful to leave the conversation for even a few seconds.

After I handed him a notepad and pen, he wrote and filled five pages with cursive. He asked while he was still scribbling, "Were there any other signs or precursors?"

"I'd smelled him before, in the wind. I didn't know it was him because I thought all you vampires smelled like disgusting, saccharine crap, but I'd been on his scent for a while. It's sweet, like candy, or maybe more like a pastry—or a baked good. I don't know. It's just really nice." Not what I expected a vampire to smell like, that was for sure. "And his voice was something that stuck out to me, even before I saw him."

Carlisle jotted down my words so fast his fingers blurred.

Edward sat forward, examining me with a more open expression on his face. "Now that she mentions it, she doesn't smell like the others to me. She smells nice."

"But she doesn't incite your thirst?" Carlisle inquired, pen pausing.

"No. She smells like what other vampires smell like to me, except a little more pleasant." A swell of pride went from my stomach up through my chest. It wasn't one-sided. "I don't feel anything towards her, though. She's a stranger to me."

Message received.

Carlisle finished with his writing and responded, "I'm not so sure about that. You _were_ very eager to see her again and you could not focus during training."

"Only because I was surprised and I needed to know if it was a fluke."

"Possibly," Carlisle admitted. "But we would need further studies to prove any theories or hypotheses any of us have about this bond. However, I think this proves that those who are imprinted on by a pack member were not born with that purpose. It's probably more like an evolutionary bond as far as imprinting is concerned."

"Evolution!" Jacob exclaimed before he threw his head back and laughed.

"Jacob, act your age," Sam barked, angrier than I was.

The brat didn't care, though, holding his stomach as he continued to laugh and laugh. I was ready to attack when I caught Edward's pleading gaze. I sank lower into my seat instead.

"I'm sorry," Jacob said. And it was pretty clear that he, in fact, wasn't sorry, _at all_ , as he wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. "It's just that it's so funny to me. The corpse and the woman who can't have kids are connected by a bond meant for evolution? Talk about a failure to deliver."

He might as well have stuck a hot poker through my chest. That would have hurt less.

"Well," I started weakly and cleared my throat. Carlisle was looking at me with pity. Pity, pity, pity. I didn't need his pity. "It's not a done deal that I can't have kids, someday. When I stop phasing."

"Oh, come on, Leah! Why even pretend? You're barren."

I stood up and walked out of the room. My speed picked up after I went out of the front door and before I knew it, I was sprinting away. But I only went so far before the pain of leaving Edward behind stopped me. I had to jog in place, give myself something to do as I took stock of where I could go that was close by.

I couldn't go to Old Quil's for guidance, or Billy's for a distraction. I thought about Charlie, how he comforted me during the funeral, how he might again. But I was sure that it would've been too far from Edward.

Bella would've probably been there anyway.

And, at some point, my jogging in place had stopped and I started running back to Edward. I only realized it when I stepped on some random glass on a backroad. My foot healed the glass into my foot and that stopped me well and good enough. I was lucky to be close to a row of retail stores. I hopped inside one that looked like a shoe shop and used my emergency credit card to buy a cheap pair of sneakers.

Not wanting to go back, I ended up stopping by a 24-hour diner nearby and eating. I ate my way through their entire menu before I started feeling better. Things started to get smaller, less important, and my heart focused on the positive.

Imprinting on Edward replayed over and over again in my head. Even if it was just for one moment in my sucky life, things had been perfect. I found where I belonged and how I fit into the world, with him. And he was going to do everything he could to destroy that. And I would help him, because it'd be what he wanted.

The waitress who'd taken my credit card came back to my booth and told me, "Your card's been declined."

And my day was crap again as I realized I'd left my phone back home. All I had in the pockets of my jeans were two paperclips and an old receipt from buying emergency tampons for a sorta friend who worked with me at the gift shop.

I was about to swallow my pride and ask to borrow someone's phone to call my mom when someone slipped into my booth with me. Edward.

I blinked a couple of times, rubbing my eyes before I accepted the fact that he was really there. I would've said something, but he beat me to the punch.

"I'll pay for you," he offered, straight to the point.

"Oh...thanks," I mumbled past my heart thrumming in my throat. It wasn't like I wanted to see Seth or my mom right then, so he was doing me a favor. "Did you follow me here?"

The question seemed to displease him and he frowned as he was pulling his wallet out from his pants' pocket. "I wanted to be sure you weren't going to throw yourself off of a cliff, the tallest building you could find, or a bridge." He slipped his own card into the billfold.

"I wasn't—"

"Lying is a waste of time with me."

The waitress came fast to take the billfold from his hands, simpering under his gaze. I watched her go, waiting until she went into the back before I looked back at Edward. It was almost painful to look at him, his beauty shining to my eyes even more clearly than any human's.

The question I meant to ask didn't leave my mouth before he answered, "Absolutely not. The last thing I want is for anyone to die. I would indeed like this to be resolved discreetly, but I am also aware of how important this discovery is. And, anyway, own desires may have to be sidelined until after the battle is over."

"Hey, you don't have to worry about any of it." He looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was for trying to comfort him, but I couldn't help it. "I just mean that no one thinks any different of you for this. You'll be ok, especially after I do what I'm about to."

He clenched his square jaw, a severe look in his eyes. "You don't have to do this."

"I do."

"Don't say you're doing this for my sake because this is _not_ what I want." Then, that was the end of the discussion.

Edward leaned back in his seat, lips parted as he stared at me, examining me. When I focused, I could feel him listening to my thoughts. It wasn't that different from how it felt with the pack when I phased. It was just quiet...so faint that even breathing could distract me from it. I wondered what he was checking me for.

"I'm trying to decide whether you're being honest or not." It surprised me that he answered, but I was quick to react.

To ease his skepticism, I recalled Quil's dilemma of making Claire go to bed on time. "I can't do anything you don't want me to. It's not possible for me."

For a brief moment, he seemed amazed. "You'll simply do as I ask?"

"That's the way it works. The only reason I breathe, the only purpose to why I move, is to make you happy." But then he became uncomfortable again. I kept saying the wrong thing.

What exactly was the _right_ thing to say in this situation?

"Say that you agree to break the bond."

"If that's what you want, that's what I want." But the bond couldn't be broken.

His neat eyebrows drew together, intensifying his frown. "Why do you think that?"

"I just do. I know it in my bones. The bond can't be broken, I'm yours until the day I die and that's just how it works." The waitress came jogging back over to our booth, interrupting the two of us.

I got ready to leave as the waitress tried her luck with Edward. Little did she know that he was already taken in every meaning of the word. She'd figure that out, though, after I was long gone.

Edward turned his head toward me and ordered in a clear voice, "Don't leave." He then resumed talking to the waitress like he hadn't said a word to me.

It was fine with me if all I had to do was stare at Edward, so I waited and watched him politely reject the woman. Edward informed her he had a girlfriend and that I was not the girlfriend, but a distant relative. Once she was gone, Edward rested his forearms on the table and leaned in close. The nearness of him caused my heart to jump in my chest and I found myself leaning in, too.

"Come live with us." The way he said it made it seem like an order. "It isn't, it's a heartfelt request," he whispered his correction.

"Ok. Then, yes."

A flash of irritation went across his delicate features. "Shouldn't you first let me explain why I want this?"

"There's no point. I'll do whatever you want me to—and, honestly, I don't really care."

"Don't be stubborn." He gave a forceful sigh, the sweet scent of his breath washing over me. I had to hold my breath so I didn't do something weird like try and take a whiff of it. "Carlisle and I want to do an in-depth study to see how this happened exactly and why."

"Ok," I agreed. Again. "For how long?"

"Weeks—possibly. A few months would be for the best, as a trial period." Months shouldn't be an issue. "And even if it does turn out to seem like too long a stay to you, try and think of it this way."

"I'm already—"

"It will give everyone a chance back home to get over the initial shock of hearing who exactly you've imprinted on. They may even begin to miss you." He leaned back into his seat, casting a glance out at the people. At least five women turned their heads the opposite way of him.

I smiled, leaning back in my seat, too. "Sold. You don't need to keep trying to convince me."

"Yes, well…" he trailed off, lips setting into a hard line as he examined me. What did he see when he looked at me? "I don't see why you shouldn't move in immediately then. When you get home, you should pack and get ready for Carlisle to pick you up."

"And it was Carlisle who suggested this whole living together thing, right?"

"Right." That was what I thought, but it didn't hurt to ask. "I'm in love with Bella, I always will be."

Wow. I didn't even have to ask him out to get rejected. "I imprinted, I didn't fall in love with you. This, what's going on between you and me, doesn't have to be romantic. It won't be unless you want it to be." He didn't seem convinced. He was a way harder sell than I was. "Look, Quil imprinted on a two-year-old cousin of mine. Don't you think I would've killed him already if they were even _a little_ romantic?"

He was still as stone, fidgeting once I'd noticed. He also started to blink more, eyes flitting off as he murmured, "I apologize. I meant no offense."

"None taken—yet," I added a smile to my words, hoping it came off like the joke I meant it to be. Relief relaxed my shoulders when his lips twitched up into the ghost of a smile. "Anyway, thanks for paying."

"My pleasure. Can I trust that you'll be ready within an hour of returning home?" I was half-packed, I could be ready in thirty minutes. "Good."

An awkward moment passed where I wasn't sure if I should be talking or not and then he slipped out of the booth. He offered me a hand out of what seemed like instinct since when I made note of it in my head, he snatched it away.

I sighed. "This doesn't have to be horrible, you know. We can act like normal people around each other."

He made an expression like he didn't want to, but offered me a hand out again that I took without a second thought. The touch was weird, sending what felt like a tiny earthquake through me before everything settled back into a sense of rightness. The way he jerked away once I was up made me wonder if he'd felt it too, or if he was just overreacting to me feeling something.

Either way, I made a point to gloss over it. "You have food at your house, right?"

"Yes," he murmured, his voice a sweet, low sound that tumbled hesitantly through his lips. "I'll tell Carlisle you've agreed." He gestured for me to go first and I shrugged, heading out in front of him.

He opened the front door for me and I saw that he'd brought my car along with him. It was such a kind thing to do and I was especially thankful since I still had that glass in my foot.

"Carlisle should be able to get that out for you."

"That sounds good. Thanks for bringing my car." I limped for my crappy van and he trailed behind me. When I wondered about the keys, he dug them out of his pocket and gave them to me.

I unlocked the door, only for him to open it for me. I didn't get to physically react before he said, "Sorry," and closed the door again.

"You should try relaxing," I told him as I opened my door again.

"I _am_ relaxed," he said, tensing when I glanced at him as I climbed into my car. "I have a lot on my mind right now. I'll be more relaxed later," he explained himself, even though he didn't have to. "I know, I don't have to. I want to."

"Ok, cool. By the way, if you ever need someone to watch Bella, I'm happy to do it for you. The other guys'll be jerks about it and Jake'll be too weird, so I'm more than happy to help. Victoria can just try and get to her while I'm there."

He smiled at me then, for the first time since we'd met. It was brilliant, dulling the sun that shone behind him. "Thank you. I'll keep that in mind."

"Ok." He dipped his head in an elegant nod and I gave a jerky wave back. "See ya later." I got into my car and he backed away so I could pull out of my spot and peel out.

The second I was away from him, everything was horrible again.

Seth was waiting for me when I got home and Sam was sitting beside him on the couch, alongside Emily. She still couldn't meet my eyes.

Seth spoke first, "You don't have to go, Leah. You can always stay here—I'll make sure no one in the pack gives you grief."

"Sorry, but looks like you'll be taking care of mom, after all." I sighed, tossing my keys onto the nearby side table. "But what are you two doing here?"

"Leah," Emily looked like she was on the verge of tears. Sam draped an arm around her that she shrugged off while casting a furtive glance at me. "I know you don't want to see me, but—"

"Oh, that. Yeah, I'm not mad anymore." I sucked my teeth, crossing my arms as she and Sam made little shocked faces. It wasn't like I was _incapable_ of taking the high road. "Look, I get it, ok? I get it now in a way that I never got it before. You can't understand until it happens to you and it has and…" I trailed off, shrugging.

Emily twiddled her fingers as she asked, "You're not upset with me anymore?"

"Can we just not make this a big deal right now? I'm really tired and I need to pack."

"Of course." She nodded vigorously and Sam put his arm back around her. She didn't push it away that time, but she still looked nervous.

My mom's engine came into hearing distance, disrupting the uneasy calm in the room. Seth got up, spun around in a circle and then sat back down. Sam put Emily on his lap like a human shield as she looked at us, bewildered.

"Hey, Seth," I called, catching his attention as he stuffed an empty bag of chips between the couch cushions. "Really? Just throw it away."

"No time!"

" _Sure_. Anyway, let me break the news to Mom, ok?" His eyes darted away and my stomach dropped at the telltale guilty eyes he'd given since he was a toddler. "Seth?"

"I wish you'd said that earlier," he mumbled just before the front door slammed open.

I turned around and faced the full wrath of my mom's glare. She pointed at me. "You're not going _anywhere_ near there!"

_That's_ why Sam and Emily were there. Got it.


	3. Chapter 3

### Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.

"Welcome, Leah. Please, come—oh my goodness! You look terribly exhausted. Did you walk all the way here?" It was Carlisle's mate—Esme, _that_ was her name—who ended up allowing me into the house. I'd texted Carlisle hours ago that I wouldn't need a ride. I'd thought I would have my own car to come in.

I'd thought wrong.

"Yup," I muttered, shifting my weight on my feet. My boots squelched, still not dry from the earlier downpour. If I'd been able to run, I would have beat the rain. The glass in my foot slowed me way down.

It should have been a five-hour trip, but it ended up as a thirteen-hour walk. That was still faster than anyone could have even driven to the Cullen house, but it was just slow enough that the heavens could open up to spit on me. I couldn't even be angry when it happened because it was so _fitting_ for how my day had gone up until the point.

Esme held a pale, dainty hand over her heart, audibly gasping. It was funny to watch a cold one act horrified on my behalf. "Oh, Leah, you should have called. We would have been more than happy to give you that ride, after all."

I _would_ have called, had my mom not taken my phone hostage. "It's fine."

The rain had made it harder to find the Cullen house, but Jacob's memories had helped me find my way. The cold one stench that punched me in the nose when I got close let me know I'd arrived. Being on the actual doorstep of the Cullen house made my chest sting with every breath. I was dreading going in more and more every second.

So, even though I was exhausted and my foot hurt like hell, I stalled. "What time is it?"

"It's five past three."

"In the morning?" Subtracting the travel time and the excursion with Emily, I realized I'd argued for eight hours with my mom.

I deserved a freaking medal for that.

Sam had ordered food during the fight, had pizza delivered right to the door. Emily had nodded off. These were all signs that the fight was lasting way too long, that it needed to end. Yet, every time one of us had tried to end it, my mom would come up with some new points to make. I could never roll my eyes when she said she was the best in her high school debate club again.

The funny thing about that fight was that I didn't think anyone won it. It just sucked and then it ended.

Esme checked her wristwatch at my disbelieving question. "Afraid so."

The only reason I'd been able to get away was that my mom got a call from work about taking an extra shift. Money was too tight for her to pass that up, especially. Fast as I tried to leave after my mom went to work a shift, taking my van and the keys to her own car with her, Emily pounced. Sam had woken her up from where she'd passed out on the couch, like an idiot, and she refused to leave until we talked for a bit.

Now, she'd said "a bit", but she'd meant over two hours. Essentially, it was a two-hour apology that continued even when I forgave her over and _over_ again. Nothing I said would make it end. She had to come to the conclusion, by herself, that it was better to move forward than rehash the past. But then I still wasn't allowed to leave until I gave her a hug. She fell asleep in my arms, Sam had had to carry her out.

Despite it all, I was glad it put Emily and me on the right track to being on ok terms again. It was the only other positive effect of my imprinting than Edward, himself.

"Leah?" Esme tilted her head to the side in another signal to come in. "Are you coming inside?"

I rolled my shoulders and picked up my suitcase. "I am." After taking a deep breath, I charged through the entrance.

The cloying, chalky smell flooded my senses, so icy it felt like a brain-freeze for my nose.

I was pretty sure my eyes were watering as I croaked, "Nice place."

Edward's scent was like a needle in a haystack, but it was also the only thing that was keeping my nose from fall off of my face. A tentative sniff told me he wasn't here and hadn't been all day. I tried to push down the instinct to worry. Victoria was after Bella, not him. And, anyway, I'd already seen how Edward could take care of himself in a fight.

"Thank you. And I hope your mother isn't too upset with us for stealing you away for a little while. Shoes off, please." Esme closed the door with a gentle hand, not bothering to lock it.

The vampires weren't afraid to leave their doors unlocked—go figure. Plus, it was difficult to even find this place so off the beaten path, they didn't have to worry about robbers. No one would be able to find the Cullen unless they knew about it already.

I started to unlace my boots when I realized I hadn't responded and gave a quick, "Yeah." I saw the smile fall off of her face in my peripheral.

What had she expected? My people hadn't suddenly stopped hating hers because I imprinted. The pack had to help me protect Edward if I ever asked, but they wouldn't go out of their way for me the way they did for others. I was the pack member no one liked and Edward was a cold one, it put us at a big disadvantage.

Esme twiddled her fingers as she walked, human-slow, to my side. "Carlisle warned me off of calling to apologize, but I wasn't sure. Do you think your mother would like to discuss your stay here with me?"

"Nope. She hates cold ones." Seth was the only person who knew about the existence of cold ones and didn't automatically despise them. But, really, Seth had a hard time hating anyone.

Esme's eyes focused on the floor for a moment before she nodded her understanding. She even continued to smile at me while I kicked off my boots and then walked further in. "One day, we'll all be great friends, Leah. I know it."

I stifled a laugh.

She was either being willfully stupid, or she actually believed what she was saying. I wasn't sure which option made her the dumbest, but it shouldn't have surprised me that the cold one who wanted to play house and chew on deer wasn't in touch with reality. At least, she only wanted to play house—her mate liked to play _doctor_. Somehow, a vampire performing open-heart surgery seemed like a bad idea.

I still remembered how my people had boycotted the hospital after they'd hired Carlisle. I could still smell the burning wood in the bonfires that were lit in celebration of the Cullens leaving. It was a dark day when they came back, months later, and Jacob got rejected by Bella for a second time. And now, I was in their house. I was going to live with them.

Old Quil would never forgive me, neither would Billy. Charlie, the only other male role-model left for me, would never understand. The pack was only managing the alliance because they got to kill the many for sparing the few. None of us were going to end up " _friends_ ".

I replied with a healthy dose of sarcasm, "Yeah, I'm sure we'll all be playing paddy-cake soon. We'll be making macaroni-necklaces together, too, by the end of this."

"One should hope. Perhaps we'll even sing a round of Kumbaya," she replied, earning an amused snort out of me. It seemed like she wasn't _completely_ unaware of the world around her. "Would you like to unpack upstairs? We can make up an air mattress in Edward's room for you and you can go straight to sleep."

"Don't you have any guest rooms?" The house was ginormous, it could've eaten my house. No way did it have no guest rooms, the question seemed stupid to even ask.

Esme winced, though, like it was a painful subject to broach. "We didn't build the house with the expectation of overnight guests in mind. Considering our disposition, we thought overnight guests weren't the best idea."

I pictured the family of cold ones pacing in their rooms, anxiously waiting for the sun so that they could "wake up". Funny as it would've been, it made sense why they didn't want to go through that. It just sucked for me, per usual.

"So, it's Edward's with an air mattress or the living room's couch?" I gave a vague gesture towards the wide, open living room.

"For the moment, yes."

I walked further into the white house with a south wall made of glass. Mornings were going to suck so hard.

Esme offered as I was glancing around, "I can clean the mud off of your boots for you if you'd like. You had quite a walk."

I wanted to ask her not to because I didn't want them to smell like her, but I bit my tongue and settled for a nod. No point in offending my host so early on. If she spat in my food, it would probably burn my throat.

She disappeared, along with my boots, and I heard her swift footsteps as I wandered the house.

There was a raised area just for a grand piano, pushing what could've been something normal into the absurd. The entire design of the first floor was weird and sort of over the top. There was an office under the stairs, but I could smell a whole lot of books from somewhere upstairs. No clue why the books weren't in the office. Maybe the real question was why not? By the looks of it, they could've had a second house just for their for paintings if they'd wanted.

The piano drew me in, though, stealing my attention away from the tempting couch just waiting to be slept on. It smelled the most like Edward than out of anywhere else on the first floor. I'd pressed a few of the higher keys when Esme came running back into the room. I had to suppress a groan as the concept of more conversation started to become a real possibility.

And I especially didn't feel like talking to a _bloodsucker_ , of all people.

My hatred for leeches didn't evaporate when I imprinted, but it also wasn't pure hate anymore. They kinda just annoyed me now, more than anything. Unless they had red eyes. Eye color changed everything about how I perceived a cold one now.

"Could you tell that it's Edward's?" She asked, a new sparkle in her eyes. "He's a wonderful player." She looked proud, that's what it was. She had the same exact look in her eyes that my mom had whenever I would bring home a good report card.

 _Jeez_. "You all take the big, happy family thing really serious. You realize you don't have to pretend around me, right?"

Her smile dimmed for a moment before she responded with beaming pride, "It's not a pretense. We _are_ a family and we _are_ happy."

So, Esme actually acted as Edward's mom. Maternal instinct and vampirism made for an odd combo. And, obviously, now I couldn't have been a jerk to her even if I wanted to. Edward wouldn't want that.

"Is that too strange for you?" She asked like she was actually worried over my opinion.

I told her as I came back down from the platform, "Nothing's too strange for me anymore."

"Ah, yes. You're a very pretty wolf," she complimented, running an idle hand over her light brown hair. "You have a very glossy coat."

"Uh, thanks?" No one had ever complimented my wolf-form before. I didn't know how to feel about that. I didn't care enough.

She seemed a bit embarrassed as she rushed to say, "Of course, you make a lovely human, as well. I'm sure you clean up very nice."

"I guess." This was Edward's mom, I had to do a little better than that. "Uh, you, too. You're pretty."

I didn't notice looks that often, so what stuck out to me the most about Esme was actually her voice. She used this soft, high-pitched tone like she was trying not to wake someone in the other room. It was the least threatening voice in the world, it was saccharine—almost as bad as her scent. I wouldn't have believed she was a cold one, if not for the lack of a heartbeat and the unnatural shine of her skin. She was way too… _gentle_.

Esme gave a soft little smile at my lame compliment and murmured, "Thank you." She straightened out the shirt she was wearing, smoothing out a wrinkle. "I'm not sure how it all works, but I know that you'll do well here. Let me know if anyone bothers you, including Edward."

"Sure. And if you ever have any questions about me or imprinting..." I said, trailing off a bit like I had something else to say. Not a single follow-up sentence came to me.

Clearly, I was way too tired to be having this conversation with her.

Esme seemed to get the implication. "Thank you, but I'll leave the questioning to Carlisle. He'll tell me all about it anyway since he'll be too excited to keep it to himself. He's looking forward to getting his hands on your blood."

"I just decided, I'll take the couch." Closer to the front door, where I could run if a mad, vampire doctor came running at me with a bone-saw.

"One second." She flitted off, the sounds of doors closing and opening filling the silence of the house. She was in front of me with two stacks of bedding in each of her hands before the sound of the last door closing had reached my ears. "Which would you prefer?"

She was so close, closer than she'd been since I'd gotten there. The stench was too strong. I coughed into the inside of my elbow, my nose stinging like I'd snorted powdered dry ice. In less than a second, she was across the room.

"I'm so sorry!"

"It's—"

"I didn't even take the smell into consideration. I should have lit candles and put in air fresheners. Oh, I should have baked cookies! Silly me." She shook her head, her brown waves swaying around her remorseful face. "My deepest apologies, Leah."

I remembered a time when I'd taken a moment just to appreciate the look on Laurent's face when his arm came off. That was last week.

God, was I really about to reassure a vampire?

I let my arm fall off of my face and muttered with shriveled lungs, "No, I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have reacted like that, it's not even that bad. I just gotta get used to it."

"And I suppose I'm the lucky one in this situation. I don't have to breathe," she joked, earning a chuckle out of me. She continued, "If it makes you more comfortable, you're welcome to sleep on the couch. But, Edward's room is getting a real bed that will be here by tomorrow."

Esme was awfully welcoming, but I needed to know what Edward thought. There was no way I could sleep in there until I knew what that was what he wanted.

It wasn't so long ago when Sam had wanted to kill himself after what he did to Emily, but he couldn't. He couldn't until he knew she wanted him to. I remembered wishing he had, accusing him of using the bond as an excuse to be a coward. Now, I understood.

"Good to know," I said, going for a noncommittal answer. The next step was to change the subject. "Hey, what's the food situation? Edward said you had some, earlier."

"We tend to keep far too high a volume for Bella and so much of it spoils, so we have lots."

"Yeah, that won't be a problem anymore." I would've gone for the food right then, but I had no energy left. If I'd had any leftover after my walk here, it was spent checking out the piano.

I planted myself on the couch, letting out a moan of relief. Esme came around from the back of the couch and gave a sympathetic smile. "Would you like me to make up the couch for you before you sleep?"

"I can sleep like this."

It was a perk of being a shapeshifter. I could've slept on a stone slab through the apocalypse if I wanted to. Sleeping on command was something people were able to do once they started phasing. Old Quil claimed our deep sleep was because of our stronger connection to our spirit-guardian ancestors. He said if we really wanted to, we could astral project again and pick another animal with a willing spirit to help. He was always saying things like that…

I would miss his crazy theories the most.

I closed my eyes, breathing deep through the hasty homesickness. Esme mentioned while I was exhaling, "We'll all be going out tomorrow night. We're hunting one last time before the army arrives."

"Ok."

"We would just love it if you chose to come along," she added, an expectant look on her face.

I wasn't really sure who she was talking about since I knew Edward wouldn't "love it" and no one else cared. Witnessing a slurping session didn't exactly excite me, but if Edward was going to be there—even if he didn't want me…

"Sure. I guess I'll come." The incessant need to see his face decided for me, the bond pulling me any direction that was closer to him. I guessed that was the one rule I could break. I had to stick close, regardless of his own desire.

"Oh, that's wonderful news! We were hoping to give Edward and Bella some alone time, but we'd worried it wouldn't work out now that you've moved in so fast. Everyone will be so thrilled you're coming." She clapped her hands lightly, grinning in a way that made her look as young as me.

Of course, Edward wasn't coming. _Of course_. Would it really be my life if anything happened the way I wanted it to?

A little more awake than before, I asked, "When's this happening again?"

"It's tomorrow night. Please, sleep-in. I can make whatever you want for breakfast or pick up something from the store in the morning." I grunted in acknowledgment and she gave a tinkling little giggle. "I'm going to continue reading my book in Carlisle's and my office. He'll be up there with me, holler if you should need something."

"Where're all the others?"

"Rosalie and Emmett are out on a date. Alice and Jasper are out at the clearing, discussing details about the battle. It's just the three of us here tonight."

"And Edward?" I asked before she could flit off.

Ugh, did that sound as desperate as it felt?

Esme just smiled and told me, "He's staying over at Bella's, as he often does." And then she was gone.

I tried so hard to sleep, but it was impossible to when every breath I took was so gross. After a while, I gave up and switched on the TV with a remote on the couch's left side-table. I laid on my stomach across the length of the couch and watched the movie through slits of vision. My eyes burned when I opened them any wider than the width of a pin.

Pajamas were always helpful when trying to sleep, right? It was a way to tell your brain to shut the hell up because it was time to pass out. I picked up my suitcase with a Jason mask painted on the side of it and set off to find a bathroom to change in.

Esme and Carlisle were quiet, but I could hear her flip a page every now and then and hear him write things down. They were on the top floor, so I sniffed out the bathroom on the first floor and locked myself in to change.

The two of them spoke in soft tones, too quiet to hear as I changed and went to the bathroom. It was a relief that they sounded completely distracted by each other. I was able to get through my whole nighttime routine without feeling self-conscious. That was hard enough to achieve on the reserve, but it was even harder here where there weren't acres of space.

My moisturizers were still drying on my skin when I got up and went back to the couch. I turned off the TV and took the blanket off of the top of the stack of bedding Esme'd left me.

In the middle of straining to pass out, I decided that Edward would want me to sleep in his bedroom.

The battle was in two days and tomorrow night, I'd be out all night. The night after that, I'd be keeping watch for half of the night with half of the pack in the middle of a blizzard. How could I fight efficiently and not die if I was falling asleep in the middle of a cold one's snarl? And if I died, that'd be one less person protecting Bella— _plus_ , Edward had said he didn't want anyone to die.

I had his express permission to sleep in his room. Pretty much.

Anyway, it was easy tracking down Edward's bedroom. I pushed the door that was open a crack and it swung out, wafting his alluring scent through the hall. His room had golden carpet that his sweetness clung to, almost the shade that his eyes had been the last time I saw him. His furniture was nice, too, compared to my hand-me-downs back home.

Every time I learned something about him, it gave me a little thrill and a tiny doubt. He was amazing, but he was unexplainable. Why him? Why me? There didn't seem to be any rhyme to the two of us being imprinted. I mean, at least Emily and Sam were good when they were together. Edward hated the fact that I existed almost as much as I did. So, I guessed—

I saw the sofa and everything else went out of focus.

"C'mere, you," I muttered to the black, leather sofa as I went into the room.

I closed the door with my foot and waddled inside, the glass a distant throb closer towards my heel. I bellyflopped onto the sofa, the blanket draped over my back since I'd been wearing it like a cloak. It was like laying on a cloud, the cushions were so soft.

Not two seconds passed before I was out like a light. And it felt like it was only two more seconds before something woke me back up.

I hadn't even gotten to dream.

A few blinks into being awake again, I realized it was a presence that had disturbed me. My muscles started to tense, ready for a fight.

"It's me." I could've recognized Edward's voice anywhere.

Endorphins reacted accordingly to the sound of him and my stomach quivered with excitement. This was probably how puppies felt when their owners came home after a long day at work.

"You're running a fever," Edward stated, his tone clipped and cold.

"I get hotter when I sleep." There was also the fact that I hadn't gotten sick since I phased, but, hey, maybe this was just another gift from karma. The rain on my walk could've finally done the impossible.

"You walked here?" I gave a drowsy nod. He sounded frustrated when he asked next, "Why didn't you call for a ride?" I replayed my day in my head, flinching at the sharp sigh he gave out in response.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" Because he was unhappy, because I existed, because he was stuck with me. He could take his pick. "You never asked Carlisle to remove the glass in your foot." My eyes searched for him in the dark, but they were still too bleary to spot him.

I sat up, keeping my palms flat on the sofa. "I forgot." It hardly mattered. Edward was in the room, who cared about my foot? "Uh, how are you?"

There was a small pause before he answered quietly, "I'm fine."

"Why aren't you still with Bella? Did something happen?"

"She's sleeping, perfectly sound. I came to change, but I'm going back soon." I wished I could see him. "There's nothing to see."

I argued, "There's you."

Another sigh came and then the light in the ceiling switched on. I squinted against it for a moment before my eyes adjusted and I could finally see him. He looked like a Calvin Klein model, wearing a crew-neck t-shirt under a long-sleeved v-neck tee with loose tan pants. His hair was more brown than red in the light, it made his eyes look lighter.

"Carlisle," Edward said in a conversational tone. The blonde doctor appeared by the open door, a case in his hands and an eager look on his face. Cold ones were so quiet, soft-spoken with soft footsteps. "Would you mind?"

"Not one bit." Carlisle came over to where I was sitting on the couch, making more sound now that he was on the carpet. He crouched down in front of me and I managed an owlish blink before he smiled and said, "It's nice to see you again, Leah."

"It'd be nicer to see you if you weren't about to cut me open." He chuckled, the sound warm and deep. For some reason, it reminded me of a cello. Why was it so musical?

"I hope you don't mind, but I'd also like to draw some blood while I'm here. We want to begin learning everything about your unique biology as soon as possible."

I rubbed my eyes, watching him open up his case that he'd laid on the floor. There was an assortment of sharp things, tubing, and vials. In other words, all very reassuring things.

"Don't be nervous. Carlisle is very good," Edward reassured me. Any hesitancy I had at the sight of the vampire picking up his scalpel melted away. It was unnerving, how much a single sentence from Edward could change everything.

"The bottom of this foot is very dirty," Carlisle said under his breath. He cleaned off the bottom of my foot with an alcohol wipe, ginger about it around the area where the glass was. He took my ankle into his freezing grip, holding my foot steady.

"I cut it open with a jagged rock, at one point. The glass was too slippery, though, and it just jammed further up there."

Carlisle's eyebrows rose to his hairline and his mouth opened in what looked like pure horror. "The cut could have gotten infected, you could have contracted a flesh-eating bacteria. Worse yet, you could have given yourself blood poisoning! That was so dangerous and irresponsible of you, Leah."

I snorted. "Yeah, and I guess that fighting an army of newborns is _safe_ and _reasonable_."

"She makes a fair point." My eyes instinctively shot over to Edward, where he was still standing in the corner of the room. Our eyes met for just a second before pain broke my focus.

I gripped onto the blanket, breathing deeply as Carlisle made his incision. "What the hell, pale face? No warning?"

"I didn't think you would need one. You cut open your own foot earlier."

"Is this a punishment?" He chuckled and widened the cut a bit. "Ah!"

Carlisle made a soft tsk-tsk at me. "Oh, don't be a baby. This is far less painful than a jagged rock, I'm sure. Although, you're a very heavy-bleeder. Do you have anemia?"

"A little warning would have been nice, Carlisle," Edward said, his voice sound strained. I looked up, out of curiosity, and caught the grimace on Edward's face.

He could feel what I was feeling. Did his foot hurt?

"No," he replied. Would he be ok during the fight? "Yes. I tend to respond to pain in minds I've been in more than once. The newborns won't bother me." What about their thirst? "That won't, either."

"There's no need to be concerned for Edward, Leah. Everything will go well on the day of the battle. Let there be no doubt," Carlisle said, digging tweezers into my foot with a steady hand and a singular focus.

To spare Edward, I thought about other things. Holding Seth for the first time on the day he was born. The first time I noticed how animals liked me more after I'd phased. Riding my first bike. Imprinting for that one, perfect second.

Edward cleared his throat. "Carlisle's finished."

"Indeed, I am," Carlisle reaffirmed, pulling out the huge chunk of glass with a wet sound. "Now, for the blood."

I held my arm out for him with a sigh. "Careful. You already know I'm an easy bleeder, but I'll spew like a _fountain_ if you do this wrong."

"That's very vivid imagery, Leah, but I'll be fine. I've been doing this for a few years now." He tied off my arm with a rubber band thingy and I sighed, making a fist for him.

The blood was drawn in relative silence. It took long enough that my eyes naturally wandered away from Edward. I looked towards a row of floating shelves, spotting a picture of Edward and Esme, all dressed to the nines. They were posed in front of a big, fancy building where other people dressed like them were heading.

"It's the Teresa Carreño Theatre, in Venezuela. Carlisle thought it better if we didn't go since we'd only recently relocated. Esme indulged me," Edward said, something like a smile flashing across his face before he got rid of it.

"We'd moved recently, it's better to stay put, for a little while, after a move." Carlisle switched out a vial, watching my blood pour into it, filling it up quick. "The pianist performing was a man Edward had introduced to the instrument as a boy. It was his last show before retirement after a long and fruitful career. Edward couldn't stand the thought of never having seen him perform once and Esme couldn't say no. She's always believed in keeping tabs on people from our human lives."

Every time I learned something new about them, they became less threatening and more…sad. It was just sad.

I felt Edward's eyes on me, but I didn't look. I closed my eyes instead and took a deep breath as my warmth slowly poured out of me and into another glass vial.

"Leah?" I opened my eyes again and saw Carlisle was gone, along with his case. Edward was still in the corner, standing dead still with his arms crossed. "Take the pills beside you."

I looked down and saw pills and a glass of water on the cushion next to me. It was easy enough to take a few pills if that'd made him feel better, even though I wasn't sick.

Once I'd taken the pills and downed the rest of the water, Edward murmured, "Your fever should go down now."

"Really? So, these are the cure to shapeshifting? I knew you guys were rich, but wow—I guess money _can_ buy you anything."

Edward's lips curved up for the first time since we'd met. My heart gave a strange twinge at the sight and then suddenly, he took it away. I wasn't even allowed a smile. "You should be careful with humor like that. I only knew you were joking because I can hear your thoughts."

"Yeah, well, people aren't a big fan of me, anyway. What's one misunderstood joke?"

Next to him, on one of his shelves, was something I had on my dresser back home. I wasn't sure what'd made me loo

"You recognized the lupinus polyphyllus?" Curiosity made his voice less harsh.

"Yeah, I have one in a pot back home. I have a lot of plants in my room." I tried to remember all the pots back home, but my mind stumbled when I remembered the dried rose from my dad's wake. Edward flinched in perfect unison with the pain that lashed at my chest. "Crap. Sorry."

"It's fine, you're just… _very_ loud." He winced slightly and then shook his head like he was trying to shake my thoughts of his head. "If you don't mind me asking, why are you interested in botany?"

Easy question, easy answer. "I run so much through nature and it feels disrespectful not knowing what any of it was actually called. It's nice to know the names of the flowers I trampled. It's like remembering the names of the dead."

"I see."

"Yeah. I'm not out to try and kill _them_." I could feel the last gasp of a flower under my paw when I stepped on it, it always made me feel a little worse. I was already unwanted and hated by the pack, I didn't want to add flower-murderer to the list.

Edward gave a curt nod as he put the pot back and then fell into a stony silence. It continued for over seven minutes. I knew it was seven minutes because I started counting the seconds, hoping to make time go faster. I kept thinking that, at some point, he'd face me again and say something, anything, but he never did. The silence got so overbearing that I decided to speak first.

His eyes flicked over to me, expectant, and I lost all train of thought. I could breathe again when he looked away, but it left us with the same problem. We were at a complete standstill in conversation with absolutely no momentum incoming.

Oh, dear God. Why was this happening?

I could hear Esme drawing on paper upstairs. I heard crickets and a family of deer running miles away from the house. I heard Carlisle moving a mouse on a mousepad, clicking away. I could hear my own uncomfortable swallow and I cringed at the shock of the volume in such a quiet, quiet house.

"I can taste the difference in the air between cloudy days and when there's sunlight!" I blurted as soon as it came to me. Edward looked at me in surprise. Before the silence could start again, I went on with, "It's not something the others notice, but I enjoy it. It's one of the only things I enjoy about phasing."

"That's interesting," he replied before looking out of the wall of glass again.

Silence. Cold, dead silence. Sweat started beading up on the back of my neck.

"I noticed earlier that your thoughts about phasing come off as begrudging," he said out of nowhere. "You don't like to talk about phasing. Do you dislike it as a whole?" He could sense the tone of thoughts, too. Good to know.

"Kinda—I dunno. Sometimes, I want to rip trees out by their roots and other times, I just wanna smell the flowers. It annoys everyone in the pack." Phasing wasn't completely awful, but it also wasn't completely amazing. The ratio shifted, day-to-day, of terrible to terrific.

The pause between my comment and his next response started to grow and stretch, distending on and on. He gritted his teeth, the sound unmissable with the lack of activity everywhere else.

"Interesting," he said again. His lips parted like he was going to say something else, but then he pressed his lips together into a tight line. He looked back out through the glass.

Talking wasn't working. I decided to get up, look around for anything—God, _anything_ —that we had in common and could talk about. He had a huge bookcase, so I scurried over to it, hoping that within hundreds of novels, we could find one to talk about. I picked out a random, worn one, experiencing the let-down of a lifetime when I saw it was poetry. I'd never liked poetry.

…Screw it, I'd start.

I flipped the book open to a random page, reading a poem by Christopher John Brennan. It surprised me by being beautiful and easy to understand. In fact, it was relatable.

"'Because she would ask me why I loved her' is one of his better works," Edward commented. I turned around, excited that he was speaking again. "It's a very loyal, undying love that he's written about."

"Kind of like imprinting."

Edward grimaced and looked out of the glass— "This isn't exactly easy for me," he snapped in the middle of my thought.

"I know," I mumbled, closing the book with care. "But, you're making it hard on yourself for no reason. You should just talk to me like I'm a friend, 'cause I am one. I'm your most loyal friend."

"No." He clenched his jaw, creating a harsh angle before he whispered, "We simply need to break the bond."

"I—"

"Sam had a theory based on compatibility. Perhaps it's our upbringing that will bear some sort of resemblance." I turned around to put the book back, fighting off a hopeless sigh that kept building in my chest.

Sam had a lot of theories about imprinting. He'd come up with most of them when he was still with me, to try and find some reversal effect. "None of them panned out with him, but sure. Maybe we'll get lucky and our mutual love of the hacky sack in our youth will be the root of our connection."

"Please." I turned back around at the pain in the voice and his eyes were bright with unspeakable sadness. "Please, humor me."

I would've done anything to get him to stop looking at me like that. "Ok. Yeah, let's see what we can find. Tell me about what you've done, where you've been. Esme said you played piano, was that something you did when you were human?"

"It was. I enjoy music immensely—not just listening to it, but studying it." Music had never been my forte—pun intended. I took a few clarinet lessons when I was six and then gave up. "I tried to give up. My mom wouldn't let me, she made me push past what she called, 'the wall'. All kids who practice an instrument reach 'the wall' and concert soloists were those who dared to climb it."

Intense mother. "That's something we have in common."

He frowned, dumping another heap of stones into the pit of my stomach. "No, my mother was sweet. Too good for this world where monsters like her own son exist."

"Who the hell called you a monster?"

"Does it matter?"

It did to me, but I doubted that meant anything to him.

Our ongoing, extended silence gave me time to play a game I liked to call, "What's worse?". With the pack, there was never a moment of silence when I phased. With Edward, I received lifetimes worth of silence. I honestly couldn't decide which was worse.

"It's quite amazing," Edward decided, eyes hesitantly meeting mine. "How you all come to share a mind is nothing short of amazing. So, I imagine I'm worse."

"Try 'annoying'." It's annoying with them." Beyond exasperating. It was hell sharing a mind with a bunch of little boys going through puberty. It was worse when one of those boys had disturbing dreams about you. "And traumatic."

He gave a short exhale that I realized was a voiceless laugh after a moment. I smiled at him and he gave a timid smile back. "I would think it's more convenient than this, though."

"Nah. At least when I'm with you I don't have to learn things I don't want to know. The amount of knowledge I have about Yu-Gi-Oh! cards is just—" I cut off, Edward's chuckle making my breath catch in my throat. The sound was so musical, melodious in a way that music itself wasn't. It sent electricity spiraling around my bones and glued a smile to my face. "Laugh it up, cold one. Just wait until—"

"Until I overhear disturbing thoughts about myself, then I won't find it funny anymore. Leah, that's my everyday. No one is quite so aggressive as middle-aged women in a grocery store—their minds would shock you." I started to laugh and he joined in with me.

The two of us ended up laughing together, destroying the quiet we'd involuntarily maintained. And it felt good to laugh. There was so much more relief in it than when I cried, especially because he was laughing with me. His eyes sparkled, warmth and honey until he covered them with a hand. He let himself keep grinning, even when I noticed and loved it with every inch of my soul.

When we'd both regained our composure, he crossed the room with two long strides of his legs and sat down on his sofa. I held out a hand and he tossed me the blanket without either of us having to exchange a word.

I was wrapping the blanket back around my shoulders when I asked, "Where were you born?"

"I was born in Chicago, Illinois in 1901, and I was named after my father." Edward jr.? He gave a soft smile. "Just Edward."

"Were you close to your dad?"

"No. He was a very successful lawyer, hardly ever around and distant even when he was. It felt, at times, like I was being raised by a single mother."

"Must've sucked. Sorry," I said, my voice this weird, soft thing it'd never been before in my life.

Edward didn't seem to care. "Your turn. Think of your childhood."

The first thing that came to mind was how spoiled I was until Seth was born and soaked up all the attention. It'd been difficult adjusting from being an only child to the only responsible child. In the end, though, I enjoyed being a big sister. Next, came my relationship with my mom. She'd given birth to me on the reserve with no epidural, like an insane person, and worked hard to make me tough. She'd always told me women had to be twice as tough as any man since we only got half the credit.

"I see what you meant by intense," Edward murmured, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Yeah, but she could also be sweet."

She'd always helped me with my homework, even if it was a last-minute thing and she needed to work early the next day. My mom was the one who'd taught me femininity didn't mean weakness. I could like face masks and moisturizers and the spa, but mess up anyone who stepped to me. She'd taught me how to punch and how to paint my nails.

He smiled as I recalled my frustration with learning how to braid my hair beside my mom in a mirror. "You had an eventful childhood."

"Yeah." My dad flickered through my mind again and Edward flinched, holding a hand to his head. "I'm sorry. I'm trying not to think about him."

"Please, don't censor yourself for my benefit." He closed his eyes for a moment before he met my worried gaze. "I'm fine, I swear. I can take a lot worse. You tend to dish out a lot worse to your pack."

I figured that'd come up, at some point. There was no point in lying, so I said, "A lot went into the decision to make them suffer. It's just instinct now."

"It's malicious."

" _I'm_ malicious, but I blame it on the circumstance."

He furrowed his brow at me. "What circumstance?"

"Being alive." Life wasn't fair. It sucked and then you died—and sometimes you lived again before dying again. "Anyway, did you have any conditions or deficiencies as a human? Odd birthmarks?"

"I was a healthy, normal child. I grew up strong—I wanted to join the military, patriotism having been sown in me from the time I was young."

"The first world war was happening when you were a kid, right? What was that like?" He shrugged and I guessed, "You weren't scared of it."

"I tried to join the war every year. I was living for the day I turned eighteen." His eyes hardened, turning severe with grief in a split second. "Then, the Spanish Influenza came and killed whole families faster than any army could. When you see something like that, everything turns small in comparison. War became so very small and pointless when my mother started coughing."

"Did you get sick, too?"

His answer came in a weak whisper. "I did." How old had he been? "Seventeen."

"That's so young." I wouldn't have pegged him for being seventeen, but no other age came to mind when I looked at him, either. "Do you think you would've liked to be frozen at a different age?"

"Twenty-five. Your brain's technically fully developed then…and it would be nice not having to go to high school ever again." He smiled to himself, eyes still shining sadly.

"I'm surprised you can date a high schooler. I would want to rip my hair out if I had to date a seventeen-year-old and I'm only twenty."

He frowned and I could tell I'd hit a nerve. God, why did I have to be so good at that? "Bella's eighteen and she's wise beyond her years."

"Ok, ok. I was just stating my opinion, I wasn't challenging yours." He relaxed a little, but the air around him became a little more guarded for the misunderstanding. "I'm completely on your side, y'know. You don't have to be so defensive, we're fighting on the same team now. The same way we'll be on the battlefield."

"Actually, I won't be fighting. I'll be staying with Bella during the fight and so will Jacob."

Wait, wait, wait. Jacob was out? "If neither of you fights with us, how can you still guarantee that it'll be an easy win? You may trust your seer—sister—whatever, but the pack can't take a vision from a cold one and run with it. We need our best fighter out there with us."

Not to mention that the pack had gotten into this mess because Jacob loved Bella. Now he wouldn't even be fighting? How the hell did that make any sense? We weren't the almost-alpha's little lapdogs. I wouldn't fight if Jacob didn't. If I didn't fight and Jacob didn't have to, Paul wouldn't. From there, the rest would cave into not fighting out of fear they couldn't win without us.

"Leah, please. I need your help." He used his eyes on me, turning the full intensity of them onto me.

It was impossible to withstand. " _Fine_. I'll do it, but I won't like it. Jake's second-in-command and if he isn't there, then the pack won't be as supported."

Edward groaned like he'd been stabbed. "Don't you think I know that? No matter what I do, it's wrong, but she asked me to stay and I couldn't say no! Leah, I almost killed her." That seemed to be what bothered him the most, which made the gold of his eyes burn with regret. For me, it was the fact that he'd almost died. "She's just a girl. She doesn't deserve this war, she doesn't deserve this life I've doomed her to. And if all I can give her as consolation is myself and my presence, then I must. _I must_."

So, she'd asked. Sitting out wasn't just something he'd opted to do. That made me feel a bit better. "Why did she ask you to stay?"

A rueful smile worked itself on his angular face. "Not all are desensitized to the thought of losing people like you and me."

"That's not fair."

"How so?"

"I'm scared of losing people, too! Do you think I like the thought of Seth going out there? It kills me. It kills me that I'm the reason he phased, I'm the reason our dad is dead and if Seth dies on the battlefield, that'll be my fault, too. You don't think that terrifies me? It does."

Seth was so young, so eager. He hadn't even considered dying, he was too young to feel his mortality even as it came racing towards him. And the immortals wanted my fourteen-year-old brother to fight for them, instead of with them.

Edward sat up from where he'd casually draped himself on his couch, an urgency in his eyes. "I don't want that. I don't want any of this, but you must understand. I have to keep Bella safe—"

"Then, _you've_ gotta understand that I have to keep _Seth_ safe. At all costs. If I have to break off from the fight to help him, I will." He gave a slow nod, but there was something different in the way he was staring at me. It niggled at me, digging deep under my skin. "What?"

He still hesitated, even after my prodding. Eventually, he said, "I find the way you think quite interesting." His gaze lingered on my face, analyzing it for something, clearly. Before I could find out what he was looking for, he looked away, toward a specific point.

I followed his line of sight to what looked like a candid photo of Bella laughing, her hair a long braid over her shoulder. She was very pretty with a heart-shaped face and big, chocolate brown eyes crinkled with a joy that I knew well. She was definitely looking at Edward.

"Who took the photo?"

"Alice. I have to hide the picture every time Bella comes over or she'd get embarrassed, so this is our little secret." He went over to the frame, picking it up with the gentlest touch I'd ever seen.

"I'm good at secrets." I watched him for a moment. I would've been content to watch him forever, but I had to ask, "How'd she take it?"

He glanced back at me and there was something about the way his eyes dimmed. It was like an alarm, registering in my head like I'd known him for years and seen the look a million times.

No way.

"You haven't told her about me." Even saying the words felt wrong.

He looked back to the pretty little photo. "I'll tell her soon."

"How soon?" The sooner, the better.

"I need to wait until there's not a chance she'll be able to do something reckless at the battle," he explained to me. And I understood his thought process, but it was dead wrong.

If he waited until after the battle, it would be too late. If he knew for three full days and didn't tell her, especially with an all-out war happening, it would hurt her, deep. And I didn't want her to be hurt. I didn't want her to be me.

"She'll never be you." He put the frame down and turned toward me, his temper making another show. "I would never leave her, not for anyone—least of all, you. I don't even know you. You're nothing to me."

There it was. The turn, the point where whatever I'd been enjoying bent and twisted into another ugly memory. It found me again.

My heart tore itself to shreds, screaming in my chest. My lips said without any thought from my mind, "Ok. Understood." He had a wary look on his face as he stared at me, watching me struggle to stand. It was like I had no strength left in my body. "Speaking of Bella, you should be getting back to her."

"Leah," he started, wincing. Always wincing, always grimacing. That was all I did for him, I made his life uncomfortable, unpleasant. "I shouldn't have said that the way I did. I only meant that Bella is the only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Not—… I mean, we do hardly know one another."

"It's ok, you don't have to explain yourself to me."

He stood there for a while longer, staring at me as I stared back. I forced myself not to think about anything other than sleeping when he left. I would sleep when he left.

Sleep when he was gone. Sleep in his absence. Sleep once he le—

"I want you to sleep in here, so you may be well-rested," he told me, holding my gaze for a moment. "Ok?"

"Got it." I wanted to lock it down, to be strong just until he left. It was so simple, all I had to do was hang on until he left and I would be good. But, I couldn't do it. "It's not exactly a new concept for people to hate me, to not be able to stand me when I walk in a room. I'm used to being the unwanted one, the one everyone wishes would just go away. Thing is, I'm not going away."

"Carlisle will find eventually a cure—"

"No, he won't. You know why? Because this isn't a disease! This isn't a sickness, Edward, this is a bond. I'm yours forever and—screw it! I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, but that's the way it is! I love you like you're half of me and I always will. There's nothing you can say to make me go away. This isn't going to just disappear. So, you need to tell her because I'm good at keeping secrets, but I won't be one. Not for anyone, not even for you."

There was a fleeting moment, this space between seconds where I thought he was about to say something. He hadn't moved an inch, his lips were still sealed together, but I had this feeling like he was going to speak. And then he left.

Once I was sure he was gone, I sank back down to the floor and let the tears fall.


	4. Chapter 4

### Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.

Esme had kept me company all day, taking leave off work to hang around. It was kind of annoying. She was suffocating me with her hospitality, which had to be the weirdest way to get killed by a cold one.

When Carlisle came home, he took over being my keeper for the day. It wasn't as bad with him. We sat in his study after he took a saliva sample from me and played chess. He didn't bring up Edward in conversation, but anything else was game. Politics, our childhoods, the things we liked to eat. He liked coyotes, but I preferred chicken—of the fried variety. He also asked me insightful questions about what it was like growing up on the reserve. He'd ask what it was like belonging to a tribe and being so connected to my heritage. In turn, I asked him if he ever thought of Bambi when he went out hunting, a question to which he'd laughed at for a good while.

But, he couldn't resist the urge to ask me just once, "How are you holding up after last night?"

"Fine."

"Alright." I was grateful when he dropped it. Esme pushed and pushed with good intentions and bad results. "How are you feeling about tonight?"

I shrugged, moving my last rook closer to one of his knights. "Fine, I guess. I'm trying to think of it as the circle of life. It helps." Not much, though.

"Good, that's good." He took one of my last pawns and I scowled. The man was a chess fiend. "And what about the day after tomorrow?"

"The battle?" He nodded and watched me deflate into my chair. "Usually, it cheers me up to think about killing you guys, but it's not doin' the trick today. I don't know if it's because you're all so nice and now it's weird, or if it's everything else."

He leaned back in his seat, black eyes appraising me with an openness to them that I wished was in Edward's eyes. "I'm very happy to think I've opened your mind in some ways to my kind, but I'm quite worried about you. The bond must be causing you great pain."

"Yeah." The building pressure to seek Edward out started to pull at me, its presence impossible to ignore. "It's a lot like how you described your thirst to me. A burning desire that gets worse the longer I go without the thing I crave."

He made a mindless move on the board, too focused on me to notice his mistake. "Would a picture help ease your discomfort?"

"No," I told him, trying to stave off a smile as I moved my knight through a window and straight into his king. "That did, though."

"Oho! You're quite the clever wolf, aren't you? Well, I'll have to be more careful during our next round." He kept a smile on his face, but I could tell I'd awoken a sleeping dragon.

I was going to be thoroughly embarrassed the next round, wasn't I?

"Carlisle, quit hogging her. Might _I_ have a turn at some point?" A voice like a tinkling bell asked. I looked over and saw the tiny one standing off to our side with the blonde warrior who'd been teaching the pack. "Hi, Leah! You're gorgeous. Edward said you were pretty, but I didn't realize you'd be so beautiful."

Their sudden presence had surprised me, but Alice's remark threw me for a complete loop. "Edward said I was pretty?"

He thought I was pretty? When had he said that? And when the hell did these two walk into the room? How long had they been watching me and Carlisle?

And, for _God's sakes_ , when had Edward said that I was pretty?

"She probed him for information. Not being able to see shapeshifters drives her crazy," Jasper explained from her side. He gave a weak smile when I looked at him, but it didn't make him look much friendlier. "I'm Jasper if you don't remember."

"I didn't—I mean, I did remember. I didn't not remember." I couldn't think when Alice was staring at me that way. Her eyes were the darkest shade of burnt gold, still glittering even though she wasn't facing the light. But, she didn't blink. Creepy. "What?" I addressed her with a short tone.

She sighed and clicked her tongue. "I was _hoping_ you would be well-dressed."

I was starting to think none of the Cullens had ever thought something sinister in their whole lives. They were kind of like defanged snakes. Off-putting but not really dangerous.

"I dress in whatever's fastest to take off," I explained, looking her up and down. She looked, in a word, expensive. "Easier to phase that way."

"Fair," she admitted before she gave a silvery giggle.

I frowned. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing really. It's just so weird finally meeting you. I had this flood of visions this morning about how everyone's going to feel about you. I couldn't stand the suspense on the way here. You, shapeshifter, were the one thing I couldn't see and wanted to see the most."

"Person," Carlisle corrected her.

She waved him off and reached up, running her icy cold fingers through my hair. "I can see why I give you bangs now."

I stood up fast, backing away from her like she was about to pounce. "There'll be no touching my hair and especially no cutting it any shorter."

"Except that there will be. Esme and I talk about it while we make you dinner someday." She twirled over, taking my seat with the grace of a prima ballerina. "And if I'm right, Emmett's going to get hung up on something that happens tonight for a long time."

Jasper spoke next and said, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Leah." He held out his hand and I took it, not wanting to be rude. He winced when my hand touched his, but then he gave me a firm handshake.

I guessed my temperature bothered them a little more than theirs bothered me. It made sense since you killed cold ones with fire, but you couldn't kill a shapeshifter with the cold.

As conversation carried on, I decided that both halves of the couple were alright for cold ones. Alice asked me a lot of questions. Jasper didn't. He was very quiet and reserved, only speaking to explain things Alice said when I was confused. He always seemed to know when I got lost in the conversation.

In the middle of our chatting, someone from far away started shouting at us. It was a vampire's musical voice that yelled, "We're not coming inside, it smells awful from all the way out here! You'll have to meet us!"

"The queen has arrived," Alice joked with a jovial grin before looking up from her game with Carlisle to meet my eyes. "Don't take it personally."

"Don't take _what_ personally?"

Her pink lips pressed into a taut line as she considered my question. After a few seconds, she replied, "Whatever it is she's about to do to you."

All of us got what we needed for the night and walked out of the house to meet the last two. Esme hung onto Carlisle's arm and Jasper and Alice held hands. To stave off the feeling of being the fifth wheel, I phased and left my tatters of clothing on the forest floor.

I spotted the two last cold ones when we were about a mile off from them. Emmett was huge, bigger than I remembered him being in the clearing. Rosalie was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen. She had golden hair that looked soft as a cloud with big, glamorous waves. There wasn't a single flyaway, either—a big contrast to Emmett's windblown, frizzy curls. I guessed I hadn't noticed how pretty she was before because I was too busy hating her.

Rosalie folded her pale arms over her chest, measuring me with her nose in the air. I had an inkling she wasn't thinking nice things about me from the dissatisfied pout she'd taken on.

"You stink," she finally said, her voice deeper than Alice's and Esme's, but still pleasant. It had that same, odd musicality to it, too.

I gave a low grumble in her direction that made a few of the Cullens laugh. Rosalie only arched one of her neat eyebrows, eyeing me with a vague skepticism in her eyes. Over what, I couldn't even begin to tell.

"She sounds so indignant," Esme commented as she threaded her fingers through my shaggy fur. She scratched behind my ear and I worked to make sure I played down how good it felt

The last thing I wanted was for them to treat me like a dog. I was nothing like Jacob who blatantly played the part of a puppy so Bella would pet him. That freak was more pathetic than me and he hadn't even _imprinted_.

"Hey, wolfy. Over here." Emmett whistled for my attention and I bared my teeth at him.

"She's not a dog, Em. You don't need to whistle for her attention," Jasper told him. He looked annoyed enough on my behalf that I didn't feel the need to phase back and tell Emmett off, myself.

"Ok, ok. Chill out, Jazz. _Anyway_ , you hear the doe out there, wolf?" Emmett asked me and I closed my eyes, focusing.

A mile or two away, there was a doe eating some grass. It was bleeding—or it had been—and the smell of gunpowder had mixed with it. It'd been grazed, I knew it hadn't gotten shot since there wasn't enough blood and it didn't sound like it walked weird.

I opened my eyes to nod at Emmett and he nodded back. "Let's make tonight a little more interesting and race for it. Whoever gets it first, gets to do whatever they want with it. When _I_ win, I'll mount its head on our wall."

"No," Rosalie told him while checking out her nails.

"Just the antlers?"

"No."

"What about its—?"

"No."

"Wait, wait! You don't even know what I was gonna say!"

"Hooves."

" _Fine_." Emmett looked back to me, a bit sulky after the brief tiff with Rosalie. "I guess I'll just drink its blood."

I barked at him, making my objection clear. He wouldn't get his smelly, ginormous hands on the poor animal. I'd make sure of that.

"I'll be the starter!" Alice exclaimed, twirling over to the two of us. She had on fewer layers but had put on a coat before we left. We wouldn't hunt the entire night, it seemed, if they were still dressing to fit in with humans.

Alice got into position in front of us, laughably tiny in comparison to me and Emmett. The fierce look in her eyes made up for it.

She looked between the two of us, nodding her approval with a sharp smile. "Ready?" She held up one arm. Emmett lowered into a crouch and I bent my legs. "Set." She held up her other arm. Everyone was silent, waiting. My paws tingled against the cool grass, wet with recent rain. "Go!"

The two of us sprung forward, Emmett's jump keeping him next to me for about half a second. I pulled ahead, fast. The distance grew between us until there was no possible way for him to close it and soon enough, I jumped on the doe. I rolled with it trapped in my legs before letting it go to scamper off, confused and disoriented.

Emmett showed up two seconds later, a look of utter disbelief on his face. I stood up, my barks an odd sort of laughter that bounced off of the trees. Immediately, he demanded, "Again!"

"Oh dear," Esme said from afar with a sigh. "I'm sorry for his behavior, Leah. Emmett, leave her be. She already humored you once."

"No way! Not until I've won!" He bent his knees so we were eye-level with each other. "One more time. You wanna?"

I nodded my approval. Racing took my mind off of what the rest of them were doing, so I was happy to go another round.

Every time I won and let his prey go, Emmett would get a little angrier. The other Cullens ate on the down-low, their eyes brighter every time I saw them after a race. They all spoke to me, too, seeming more comfortable around me since I'd phased. They were used to talking to shapeshifters that were already in their wolf form, it was simple as that.

Emmett, unlike the others, was learning to hate me in my wolf form. He had a full-blown temper tantrum after his seventeenth loss against me. It made my night.

"It's not fair, Rose! She has four legs!" Emmett gestured to me and I laid down, resting my head on my forelegs to look as innocent as possible. "Turn back human and _then_ let's see who wins!"

"She can't turn back, she'll be naked," Alice reminded him, patting my head as she skipped by, bright-eyed. "But you still wouldn't win. You're not imaginative enough."

"Yeah, you can't win. Alice might be able to win," Jasper claimed and then turned to look at me, a smear of blood still on his cheek. He had less polish than the others when hunting. "I think I could win."

I popped up to my feet and stretched out in preparation for what looked like would be a hard race.

Alice stepped in front of the two of us as she'd been doing for me and Emmett every time. "The first one to the…let's say the cougar, wins. Get ready, set…" She looked between us, a grin on her pale face as we waited in anticipation. "Go!"

I sprinted off, Jasper keeping up with me as we sped towards the smell of the cougar. The wind combed through my fur as I leaped over a patch of high-sitting roots. I speared between two low-hanging branches and landed back on my feet. Jasper made the mistake of climbing over them, giving me a split second time-advantage. That was all I needed to create a gap and win.

"Ok, you're pretty fast," he admitted when he'd caught up, a coy smile on his face. "Thanks for the food."

I trotted off before he could bite the cougar I'd knocked by throwing it hard into a tree trunk. They were all amazed by my speed, the lot of them chatting animatedly about it when I found them. Then again, who wasn't?

Carlisle was the first to speak to me when I reached them. "That was very impressive, Leah. Are you the fastest out of your entire pack?" I gave a nod. "It's going to be great fighting with you on our side."

They had no idea. I was going to bring it on D-day and show all those newborns who the boss was. I let myself imagine carving a swath through the battlefield. Edward would be proud of me when half of them were gone before a full minute had even passed. It would be like lightning struck and wiped them out. He wouldn't even remember why he'd been so mad at me before. Or he wouldn't care because I'd be too impressive.

"Look at her. You can see she's smug even as a wolf," Rosalie commented, hissing when I whacked her in the back with my tail.

Rosalie had a short fuse and really, really liked herself, but she was also funny. And, weirdly, she was pretty nice to me. So, I didn't understand Alice's request from earlier. All I knew was that I wanted to see what Rosalie could do in a fight.

I nudged her side with my nose, making her stumble off balance a bit. She snarled at me and I growled, hopping into an offensive stance.

Jasper laughed from a distance and warned, "Careful. She plays dirty, Leah."

Before I could register the tip, she'd pounced and managed to catch me. The two of us rolled around the grass for a bit before she somehow got the upper hand and pinned me. When she was off of me, I immediately attacked again and she pinned me a full two seconds faster than before.

It wasn't very fair. She didn't seem that hard to beat when she fought Jasper. I guessed that just said more of Jasper than anything, though. I'd definitely fight him next.

"I'll let you up if you go back to the house, get changed, and race Emmett as a human," she said and tapped my nose with her finger. "Do you agree to my terms, cupcake?" I let out a mean growl that scared away some birds but gave a nod so she'd get the hell off of me.

Once I was back on my feet, I made a show of not looking at her and passing by her.

"Sore loser!" She called after me and Emmett cackled his approval.

Alice seemed troubled as I passed her, so I stopped to look at her. "It's nothing," she told me when she caught me staring. "Don't take long and it _should_ be nothing."

With that, I ran back to the house for clothes. It was a bit away, but I was fast enough to where it didn't take me longer than fifteen minutes to get there. Upon closer investigation, I could tell the two were both upstairs in his room. That'd make it easy to get clothes from my suitcase without them ever seeing me.

Bella whispered from the second floor as I phased back, "Please."

I snuck onto the porch, silently opening the door and dashing inside. The first-floor bathroom still had my suitcase in it. I laid it down on its side unzipped it at a steady pace, not wanting to risk her human ears catching the sound.

"Please?" Bella whispered again, her breaths coming out shallow and fast.

I was starting to be able to smell…things. Her all over him, him all over her. I pinched my nose closed with my fingers, shimmying into camo shorts one-handed.

"I'll marry you."

My body went numb. I fell back, hitting my head on the edge of the porcelain tub. Tears welled up in my eyes, stinging, and I had the ringing pain in the back of my skull as my excuse for them. I rubbed my head harshly, sniffing and letting out a low hiss of pain as I stood back up.

Bella continued, "I'll let you pay for Dartmouth, and I won't complain about the bribe to get me in. You can even buy me a fast car if that makes you happy! Just… _please_."

He hadn't told her. How could he not have told her? How could he marry her—I meant, like that, under those circumstances? More to the point, why did I have to be around to hear it? Ignorance was bliss, but I was rarely allowed not to know things.

I knew about shapeshifters. I knew about cold ones. I knew about the world most humans were able to avoid awareness of for their entire lives. But, this was worse than all that. Worse than when I had to feel what Sam felt when he spent the night with Emily for the first time. Worse than when I was at my father's funeral and Emily cried into Sam's shoulder while my mom would barely look at me. Worse than meeting my imprint and getting rejected by him on the same day.

Edward wanted forever with Bella and he was willing to make me hide forever to have it. I was the skeleton in his closet, not allowed to be seen. Not allowed to have an opinion. Subservient and secret and for what? I didn't get his love for it. I didn't get his friendship. I didn't even get a thank you.

Just a grimace.

I got up, grabbing a shirt out of my case and clutching it to my chest, over my sports bra. It was time to go. Go, go, go and never come back.

"Edward?"

"Sorry," he mumbled, sounding distracted even to me. His voice took a weight off of my shoulders I'd been bearing all day and then added twice as much. "Would you hold that thought?"

"Uh, sure."

Edward raced down, cutting me off at the door since I'd stopped to get my boots. I tried to sidestep him, but he was adept at getting in my way. Finally, I stopped and waited for whatever he had to say. But he said nothing and the silence was unbearable.

"I can't actually stay away from you forever. I wish I could," I whispered like he didn't already know from my thoughts. I draped my shirt over my shoulder and gently placed my free hand on his side, trying to usher him out of my path.

He took my hand in his, showing me the red on my palm. The same energy passed between us when we touch and I snatched my hand away. I couldn't take it. I clapped my bloody hand over the back of my head and sniffed, trying to sidestep him again. He let me that time and I ran away, faster than I ever had.

On my run back to the Cullens, I locked everything down so tight that my chest constricted. Part me was worried that I would never feel anything again because of it. Part of me hoped I wouldn't.

"Leah, honey, what's wrong?" Esme asked, walking to meet me before I could even get to them. I had no idea how she knew. None of the others seemed to notice that I'd shattered inside, they just seemed confused by Esme's question.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine," I replied, voice flat and completely unconvincing.

Alice glared hard at Rosalie, but she didn't seem to notice as she smiled from Emmett's side. And seeing the one-sided exchange made it all click for me. Rosalie wasn't being nice for no reason, she was trying to use me—and she had. Very successfully.

I wanted to scream at her and fight her, but she'd win and then everyone would look at me like I was a monster. I didn't want the Cullens to look at me that way, too.

"You're still feeling under the weather, aren't you? She walked through the rain last night and she's still recovering. The races must have pushed her too hard," Carlisle said, lying for my sake.

"Yep," I replied, crossing my arms and hiding my bloody hand. "I'm tired."

"Food should help," Carlisle told me, shooting me a subtle wink that only Esme seemed to catch. She smiled at the two of us.

Food was my only unruined love. "Is there a restaurant near here?"

"Yes, and it's a lovely establishment. Why don't we all go together?" Esme suggested with a smile, leaning into what Carlisle had started. Everyone seemed on board since they'd already eaten and didn't have any iron-clad plans for the night. "Does that sound alright with you, Leah?"

"Sure. I mean, I don't know what you'll all do at a restaurant, but you can come if you want to." They got ready to run off, so I had to be quick to say, "Rosalie, can you stay a minute?"

She arched an eyebrow but nodded her consent. The others all gave their little worried glances—they were all such worrywarts, they put Sam to shame—and then they left us behind. I waited extra long to be sure they were gone and when I was sure they'd left, I turned to face Rosalie.

"I'm not a pawn," I told her, not wasting time with any preamble.

"What are you—?"

"I'm also not an idiot."

She crossed her arms, mirroring my stance. "Fine, _Leto_." I could feel he measuring me, trying to suss out my weaknesses. "Ok. All I want you to do is tell me how different you are now as opposed to when you were eighteen."

I rolled my eyes at her random request—her _demand_. "I'm not doing that."

"List the big changes that have taken place, you'll see where I'm going with this. And I know you want to know, so don't pretend." She had me. I could tell she knew it by the wicked gleam her eyes had taken on.

"I became a shapeshifter, Sam dumped me, my—someone close to me died and I had to forego college so I could work. I cut my hair, too."

In other words, I was completely unrecognizable to who I used to be. I hadn't realized that before…

"It's quite a bit different, your life. Don't you think?" She asked, the question rhetorical and snide as she could manage. "And that's, what, three years?"

I wished it'd been three years, but no. It had all happened at breakneck speed. "Two years, give-or-take."

" _Two_ years and everything's different. Everyone changed. You did, the people you love did, the people you hate did, too."

"If your point is so good, vampire, get to it," I snapped, all out of saintly patience.

The smug air about her dissipated and the confidence in her stance seeped out of her. Left behind was a sad, pale ghost of the woman she used to be before she turned. It was such a quick transition, I could've convinced myself I'd imagined how she'd been before.

"Bella doesn't want kids right now, or at least she says she doesn't want them more than she wants Edward. But what about two years from now? What about one hundred years? What about one thousand?"

Hard questions. Unanswerable questions for anyone besides Alice. "Why don't you ask your sister?"

"Alice supports this, she won't help me. She supports this mistake. Bella will continue to change for as long as she walks the earth while the rest of her is stuck, never moving forward. How can that be anyone's happy ending, anyone's best option?"

"It's not your call to make. The fact that we're even—"

"Do you know what it's like to want something so bad and know you'll never be able to have it?" She asked, not yelling, but allowing her voice to carry through the forest. Her arms shifted, wrapping around her stomach. It finally clicked why she was pushing so hard, why she cared so much. "It's torture."

"I know exactly what you mean." I took a deep breath, pushing down the sadness that threatened to overwhelm my irritation. "But not everyone gets to have kids, even when they aren't like you."

Her eyes softened then and she let her arms fall to her sides. A comforting silence sprawled between us, a mutual understanding growing in place of words. Of all the Cullens, I had the most in common with the one who seemed the most opposite of me at first glance. Par for the course of my life.

When she spoke next, her words came out soft. "Neither of us got the option to choose what we are. She should." I couldn't disagree. And I didn't want anyone to become a cold one if I could help it.

"She did choose. And so did he, not that that seems to matter to you."

"Yes, with an underdeveloped, hormone-driven brain. She would come to my way of thinking by herself if she could only have productive time away from him. With Jacob. Jacob nearly got her there in the first place, if it wasn't for stupid me."

That piqued my interest. "What'd 'stupid you' do?"

"I insinuated Bella died. I'm the reason my brother almost committed suicide." The guilt on her face made my stomach twist into an uncomfortable knot.

Would that have been how Emily would have looked had I died after jumping off that building? Would my mom have made that same expression? Would Seth have? I couldn't stare her in the face.

"But—but he'll have you this time, Leah," she told me, recovering. "And let's address the big elephant in the room, shall we? Imprinting isn't one-sided."

"Stop," I whispered. I didn't have it in me to fight any harder.

"Last night, I came home before you woke up. I wanted to scrub off the wet dog smell of your buddies' and leave again without interaction. I caught him watching you sleep. He was so focused on you that he didn't even notice me until I called his name in my head. That was new."

Rage overwrote my sorrow. "You're so desperate to break them up that you're willing to lie to me? Stop this pathetic attempt at deceit!"

"I'm not lying!" She cried, throwing up her hands in exasperation. "God, won't you consider me for even a moment? You know, deep down, that even if he does love Bella, it's a moot point now. Even if she does stay and becomes a vampire and she never wants anything other than him, some part of him is going to be whispering for you. How is that fair to anyone?" My heart slammed in my chest, teetering on the edge of hope and hatred. "I would have left it alone, considering the last time I involved myself. I would have left them alone if it wasn't for you. But, you exist and that's reason enough."

"No, it's not and I'm not gonna do a thing to hurt either of them. I used to torment a couple to try and break them up not so long ago. You wanna talk about mistakes? That was a big one and I won't make it again." I was sick of trying to ruin other people's lives because I couldn't be happy.

And I especially couldn't do that to Edward.

"You're not listening. _Listen_ ," she ordered in a huff, placing her hands on her hips as her golden eyes focused on mine. "She could be with Jacob. They could leave and she could move on."

I put my hands on my hips, mocking her pose. "Great idea, Rosalie. Put the girl who broke after her boyfriend dumped her with a ticking time-bomb. It's not like Jake's gonna—I dunno—imprint someday."

"I could be wrong and I know it would be better for me to stay out of it—"

"Good," I cut her off. "End it there." I walked away, waiting for her to follow before I would run.

"I can't because it doesn't end there! Edward cares about you and you love him. Admit it. You were jealous of Bella, you wish it had been you up there with him."

I kept walking as I replied, "I wasn't jealous. I didn't want it to be me."

I just hadn't wanted it to be anyone else. That fact killed me, ate me up inside and out, but it was true. The bond had made me possessive, so even if I wanted Edward to have a girlfriend, to have a wife, it was so _difficult_ to share. Letting him spend alone time with Bella was a feat I couldn't believe I was capable of. And I hadn't even realized I felt that way until now, because of Rosalie. Feelings I wasn't ready to face yet were confronting me, cornering me in the night. All because of her.

"Fine." I turned around at her abrupt surrender, crossing my arms as I tried to decide whether she was being honest. She looked oddly serene, but not insincere.

"Fine?"

"Fine," she repeated in a calm tone, giving a nonchalant shrug. "I'm going to mind my business this time. I won't do a thing and I won't have to. All I have to do is wait." She straightened her necklace and fixed the cashmere sweater she was wearing. The woman was mercurial as anyone could get.

She still wasn't moving forward, though, so I gave in and asked her what she clearly wanted me to. "Wait for what?

"For her to find out about you. When she does, it's over." She stroked her hair over her shoulder, exposing her creamy white neck. Sometimes, I caught myself staring at cold ones' necks. I'd wait for a pulse to jump out at me before remembering what they were—what they weren't. "Now, let's get going."

She took off and I chased after her, a stone weighing heavy in my stomach.

We ran as far as we could before I had to put on my shirt and we slowed to a walk, for the humans that were around. Just before we entered the restaurant, she helped me out. She unraveled her black scarf from around her throat and wiped off the blood on the back of my head and neck for me. She wrapped her scarf around my neck and strode in ahead of me, not looking back. Emmett waved the two of us right over to the table they were all sitting at.

I was so sure that the night was shot and there was no way I'd be able to enjoy anything ever again. And then Carlisle offered to foot the bill. The Cullens would order their meals and cut them up, then spread it around their plates, nibbling on bites. They would give them to me after a while, though, and I ended up eating seven plates of free food.

So, it wasn't the _worst_ night of my life.

After the late dinner, they sort of made it their mission to keep me entertained. We went bowling and it became a game of trying to knock down certain pins and leave all the others standing. There was a point where we would pick a topic and try to come up with the best story about it. We also stopped by a karaoke place that was pretty dead and hung around there for a while. Esme and Carlisle dedicated love songs to each other. It was cute, for the first three songs. It was annoying for the other five.

Sometime during the hectic night, I ended up alone with Alice at a cafe that was still open. I'd needed a pick-me-up and Alice insisted she come with me. She seemed like she needed to talk to me about something, so I let her tag along.

The two of us sat together at a table by the window while the others went to buy tickets for a movie at an all-night theater. She was surprisingly quiet as I sipped my coffee, faking a yawn now and then. Her fake yawning kept making me yawn and yawning made me tired.

I should've gotten that shot of espresso when the barista asked me if I wanted it.

"Do you really love Edward?" Alice asked as I was pulling a long sip from my cup.

After I'd swallowed my sip, I answered without hesitation, "Yep."

"Then I trust you'll never repeat to him what I'm about to tell you. Your future depends on it." Her words gave me the nervous jolt I needed to come completely awake.

"I promise." The future was nothing to take lightly.

"I see three visions when it comes to Bella's long-term future. There used to be two, but now there's three." She held up three slender, petite fingers, nails the color of cotton candy. "I see Bella dying because that's always a possibility." She put one finger down. "I see Bella turned and living in blissful matrimony as a vampire with Edward." She put down a second finger, leaving just her pointer up. "This new one's the kicker. I see Bella with a Cullen family friend, still immortal, still a vampire, but not with any of us around. Her eyes are red from being a newborn. The man she's with has golden eyes, which is the real kicker because he's always been insistent on a diet of humans. To top it all off, they're clearly in some sort of…relationship."

I put down my cup, glancing around the cafe to see if the three people on the far-side were listening in a bout of paranoia. "Alice, why're you telling me this?"

"Because I still only see two of Edward's futures." She held up two fingers, her eyelids fluttering closed. "I see Edward dying because that's always a possibility." She put one finger down and pointed at me with her last. "And I see one where he's with Bella, married and happy. If there's one with you, I can't see it because I can't see you."

"'Cause I'm a shapeshifter."

She nodded, opening her eyes, her finger still pointed at me. "Exactly. Edward has started blinking in and out of my visions. A lot of my visions, in general, have become fuzzy or completely changed." She rested her hand back on the table, clasping her fingers together.

Alice didn't have dark circles and she didn't slump or sway at all, but one look into her eyes would've told anyone she was beyond exhausted. It made me wonder how much of a toll my presence took on her. If it was this bad, was she going to last through the few months I was staying around her?

"You ok?"

"I'm fine." She primped her hair a moment, eyes distant. "If Edward doesn't give Bella the ring tonight, I have a feeling it's only going to go one way. The one way I can't actually see."

"But, he _did_ give her the ring. She said she'd marry him when I was getting my clothes."

"I believe you, but the vision I had of him showing her the ring is gone, Leah." Cue the nervous gulp and speedy pulse. "Bella doesn't want to get married and he does. It's been a constant point of conflict for the two of them, long before you. Tonight was supposed to be the night he convinced her to marry him. But now you've come in and, of course, switched up the game." She took my coffee into her hands, sniffing it before she made a look of disgust. "Even if I _could_ drink this, I wouldn't."

There was no air in my lungs, but I somehow managed to ask, "Why exactly are you telling me this again?"

She pushed my coffee back over to me, across the tabletop. "I listened in on you and Rosalie. It changed my mind. You deserve to know that it's possible there's a longterm future with you and Edward. One where Bella is with someone else."

What? " _What_?"

"I know, right? It's all so up in the air until tomorrow. Don't tell Edward, ok?" All I could do was give her a dumbfounded nod. "Ok. It was nice talking to you, Lee, but I have calls to make. There's an event I think I need to plan." She got up then and went outside with her purse and phone in hand.

And that was that. The conversation was over, there was nothing left to do but stew on it.

I watched the movie in a daze, only able to focus when Jasper offered to help—an offer I took in record time. But, Rosalie and Alice's words just kept swirling around in my head.

Imprinting isn't one-sided. Tonight was supposed to be the night he convinced her to marry him. That was new.

I couldn't wrap my head around any of it and Jasper's power was helpful and all, but it didn't erase the truth. And the truth was simple, something even a monkey could point out. If I stuck around, Bella wouldn't.

Time slowed to a deadly crawl when all the Cullens left me after sunrise to go back home. Carlisle left me his phone so they could call once Bella was gone. Unfortunately, Jasper and his magic left, too. There was nothing to do except wait and dread and _hope_.

How could anyone stand to be alive these days? It sucked.

The phone did eventually rang in my back pocket and I almost dropped it in my eagerness to take the call. "Hey, are they gone?"

"We are. We have been for a while, but I wanted to be the one to call." Edward's sweet voice came through the phone, stunning me out of my aggressive pacing pattern. "I thought you would want to know that Jacob has decided to take part in the fight, after all."

It took me a second for my brain to give me any words to say back. The shock of hearing his perfect voice instead of Carlisle's had left me speechless. But, he was waiting for me to speak—I had to hurry up before he regretted calling and hung up or something.

"Why the change of heart?" That was the best I could do for a reply.

He responded pretty quick, "He saw me and decided that it'd be nice to blow off some steam. Bella thought he was leaving for the fight this entire time, so it makes no real difference."

"I'm surprised he hasn't told Bella everything, himself." No, no—why the hell did I say that? That was the completely wrong thing to say.

Edward sighed and I flinched at my least favorite sound in the world. He murmured, "Jacob doesn't want to hurt her. He remembers well what happened back when I left."

Jacob had restraint? Yeah, _right_.

"We'll see if he changes his mind again, but Sam'll know when I phase next." He hummed a quiet affirmative into the phone. It didn't sound pissed at all. I needed to end it on that high note. "So, if that's all—"

"Leah?"

"Yeah?" I couldn't have replied faster.

He sighed again and let a few beats pass before he said, "I'm sure you're curious about why I wanted to call."

I walked over to a tree, leaning against it and bracing myself. "I am."

"There was never a point where I decided not to tell Bella. But, thank you for not telling her even when you assumed that to be true. I also want to apologize for last night. You should have heard how everyone jumped down my throat for letting you get hurt." He paused. "For hurting you."

"You don't hurt me. Your fear does, or your anger does, but that's not you. You are so much more than your worst moments." He let out a breathy laugh, the sound so lovely my heart almost broke.

Another sharp clatter. "You don't even know me, Leah. Not truly."

"I know enough." He'd been lonely for so much of his life. I couldn't be the reason that happened again. "Hey, uh, you don't have to tell Bella about me. I don't want you to anymore." Maybe Carlisle would find a way to break the bond and they could still live happily ever after. Maybe I hadn't ruined _everything_ yet.

"But, I thought—"

"Sam wants me to do some stuff before heading out for the clearing. So, I gotta go, ok? Stay safe." I promptly hung up, holding the phone to my chest until my heart calmed down.

The Cullens were waiting outside of their house for me when I arrived and I sent them my best smile. Jasper was the first to happily smile back.

"Did any of you tell Edward to call me?" I asked them, hoping for one answer.

"No, he wanted to," Carlisle informed me with a chuckle. I tossed him his phone back and whistled a tune as I passed by them, going inside.

Sam needed me to call Emily so she could record the events of my stay with the Cullens. She was sort of our historian and so I called her on the landline and updated her on everything. It was a brief phone call, she didn't make it personal—thank God.

At the end of the call, she asked, "Has Seth spoken to you?"

"Nope."

"Then, I should tell you that he had a big falling out with your mom last night. I didn't want you to get shocked by it in the initial share." I pinched the bridge of my nose as she went on with, "It shouldn't shake his focus. I just wanna make sure it doesn't shake yours, either."

I replied, "It won't. Thanks for giving me a heads-up, Em."

"'Course. Watch Sam's back for me?"

"Done deal. Talk to ya after we win."

"Ok. Bye." I hung up and took a deep breath, rubbing the back of my neck roughly.

The last thing I wanted was for my family to suffer even more because of me.

"I couldn't help but overhear," Esme said from behind me. I turned around to face her and she had this warm mothering look in her eye that I thought only TV moms got. "I'm so sorry about the discord imprinting has brought to your family. I was wondering if there was anything we could do."

I was pretty sure things were going to have to get worse before they got any better. Nice of her to ask, though. Purely nice, purely Esme. "Don't worry about it, ok? You have your own kids to worry about."

She frowned, but nodded and flitted off to where the others were talking at a speed my ears couldn't follow. I decided to get ready in every way I could. I took a shower to help with the smell so that the pack wouldn't complain as much and put comfy, oversized clothes in a bag. I'd carry in my teeth as a wolf and stow it on the outer edge of the clearing for when the battle was over.

"It won't mess up the Bella trail, will it?" I asked Jasper, just to be sure. I didn't want to screw anything up because of carelessness.

"It should be fine. As long as you don't bleed," he told me with a dutiful nod.

"My vision hasn't changed. The battle will go well," Alice said, piping up from beside Jasper, where she had both her arms wrapped around him. "According to Emmett, in the future, it goes 'straight-up epic'."

Emmett laughed from another room and yelled, "Hell yeah! With my strength and Flash's speed, how could this fight be anything else?" He walked into the living room where I was putting clothes into my duffel bag on the couch. He gave me a hard part on the back and I punched him in his side, making him laugh.

The time came to leave. I went outside and stripped down to my boy-shorts and sports bra, warmth shivering off of me. Rosalie watched me closely and in an instant, the heat started and then exploded out of me. I couldn't feel my skin for the brief moment it took for my brain to adjust to my new body. Emmett let out a low whistle as he joined Rosalie's side, beaming at me.

All the memories of the pack crammed into my skull and I experienced Seth's fight with mom. I felt his muted shame as I began running with the Cullens. We'd be having a long talk after the fight.

 _You're getting awfully cozy with the cold ones, Leah. But, since you're too wimpy, I'll say it myself. Edward's yours for the taking and_ please _, take him off my hands,_ Jacob thought. Leave it to him to comment on the one thing I didn't want to talk about. He'd carried Bella to where they'd be camping for the night and had enjoyed holding her _way_ too much.

_You're right, Jake. I should be the way you are when you're with Bella and just take what I want, regardless. Tell me again, how did that punch to the face feel against your pride?_

_Not today, you two,_ Sam thought, ending the spat before it could even really begin. _Listen up, everyone. Today, we're doing more hands-on demonstrations. It's going to be a little more intense and I already discussed it with Jasper and Carlisle, so I need you to really show them how you'll fight in the field. Just be careful not to waste too much energy._

 _Seth is still not gonna be in the fight, right?_ I asked, wanting to make sure one last time.

 _No, he'll be out with Bella and Edward._ Seth's approval shone through with Sam's assertive thought.

Jacob phased back. He'd heard all he'd needed to, in his opinion. Nothing in the plan had changed. He'd be there.

 _We need to keep track of what's going on and of where everyone is at all times. Brady and Collin will be phased and ready to join us if the need arises._ Sam was sure we wouldn't need them, though. We could handle it as long as Jacob helped out.

As much as Jacob annoyed the crap out of me, he would be exactly what we needed in the field. He fought hard enough for two of us.

 _I'll tell him you said so,_ Quil teased.

 _I thought we agreed no one would talk to her except for Sam,_ Paul thought, calling my attention to a memory of last night. They'd looked to Paul as a leader. _She's a traitor. A vampire sympathizer._

 _Paul, you're an idiot,_ Embry thought back, showing me his perspective of the memory. He showed, along with everyone else, how they had actually looked at Paul.

Like he was an idiot.

I laughed and laughed, a few others joining in as I ran alongside Carlisle and Esme to get to the clearing. _I can't believe you thought anyone would listen to you. You're so stupid!_

 _I'll show_ you _stupid._ Paul growled, running alongside me as our paths converged.

 _You always do,_ I thought.

 _Can we please just focus? The fight's happening early tomorrow and I think we should put aside personal grievances, just until it's over._ Embry was the voice of reason out of the rest of the dummies. I felt how hesitant he was to intervene, though. It made sense, considering the way I'd acted before. _I'm actually rooting for you, Leah. I hope you're able to be the first shapeshifter to break the bond of imprinting. Maybe then, we can all be friends_.

 _I'll never be her friend,_ Jared thought, retaliating against the idea.

 _Yeah, never. And when everyone gets over me telling them to ignore you, they'll do it all by themselves. No one likes you except for Collin and your brother, you know that._ Paul was pleased with himself as my pain was exposed to the whole pack. Everyone else's displeasure was clear.

_Let's just focus on practicing, guys. Please._

_Listen to Embry, he's the only one who realizes the gravity of the situation,_ Sam thought. All the background conversations and laughing silenced, everyone listening to our alpha. _Tomorrow, people may die. Our pack will be in real danger. This time tomorrow, we could be thinking of how to tell someone's parents or loved ones that the person they know and love is dead. All this arguing is ridiculous. The person you're trying to hurt in temporary anger could be gone by tomorrow's afternoon._

 _Jeez, we get it,_ Paul snarked and nudged against me as we came to a stop by the clearing. _You're not a traitor on the battlefield, Leah, but_ only _on the battlefield._

 _Gee, thanks. Should we kiss now?_ A few of us snickered and I felt Paul's embarrassment. _Anyway, I get it. Temporary truce._

 _Temporary truce._ Everyone seemed to agree, lining up and leaving a spot for Sam as he arrived and stood in the middle. Sam led us forward and I left my bag in the tree-line.

The final practice started and then ended, the incoming storm rushing it to a finish. Before I knew it, we were all waiting in silence for Jasper to share a few words in preparation for the fight. It was dark and it was snowing, a white blanket laying over every treetop and thick in the clearing.

I'd always hated snow, it crunched underfoot like bone.

 _Morbid,_ Embry thought, seconds before Jasper left Alice's side to step forward and address us.

"I'm not one for making speeches, but I'll say this. Victoria thinks that she can get away with what she's done. She thinks that her army will take care of us for her and she'll be able to kill and maim at her will. She thinks Bella is already hers, that the fate of tomorrow is decided—and I suppose it is. Tomorrow is only going to go one way and Victoria is _mistaken_. Fate is on _our_ side. She will kneel in the remains of her army and beg us for mercy and she will. Not. Find. It. Not in us. Not tomorrow." Paul growled, his excitement spreading through the pack like a disease. Sam let out an eager growl, the sound rumbling in my bones.

Carlisle stepped up with Jasper then. "Rest up and remember what you've learned. If you're ever in trouble, gravitate towards one of us and we'll help."

Jasper backed straight into Alice's open arms and he leaned down so she could whisper something into his ear from behind. Whatever it was that she said made him smile all big and wide. Carlisle rejoined Esme's side, whispering away at a volume my ears couldn't catch. Rosalie and Emmett cuddled, frozen in each other's arms as snow buried their feet.

Sam told Seth to run off to where Jacob, Bella, and Edward were waiting. Soon after he left, the blizzard took a turn for the worst and I worried he wouldn't be able to find his way.

 _I'll be fine,_ Seth thought, actively remembering the route Jacob had given us when he'd last phased.

Everyone else settled in, ready to get some shut-eye while Jared and Sam kept watch. The Cullens discussed finding dry wood to build a bonfire after the snow stopped, fairly relaxed about the whole thing. They believed in Alice, trusted her visions. They had no reason to be afraid, unlike me.

 _Visions can change,_ Sam thought, turning his head to look at me. Everyone else was already asleep and Jared was tuning us out. _I doubt Bella would ever leave Edward's side in any potential future. Maybe she's wrong._

_Well, do you believe she's right about the fight?_

_I do. So, I'll admit that she could be right about Bella ending up with someone else, but I trust you wouldn't allow that to happen. I know you'll do the right thing._ Sam was so confident in my moral compass. It was interesting since I'd been torturing him just last week. _Everything can change in the blink of an eye. Especially with you—you're too fast for your own good._ The two of us made throaty barks resembling laughter. He nudged my side with his muzzle, sending me supportive vibes.

He was right. I wouldn't get in the way, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did.

I couldn't sleep, so we had conversations about anything and everything. It was the way it used to be, just without all the fooling around in the middle. But, conversation between us became drowsy as time went on. The storm bore down heavy all around us, the whistling wind oddly soothing. Or maybe I was just that tired.

 _Get some sleep. Jared and I will keep an eye on Seth for you,_ Sam thought to me. Jared made vague grumblings about helping me, but seemed prepared to watch over Seth.

_I'll be ok, Leah. I'll watch over Edward with my life._

Everyone I cared about was safe, for the time being. I let my eyes slip closed.


	5. Chapter 5

### Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.

_Leah's gonna be so pissed!_

_Leah's gonna love this._

_Leah doesn't know?_

_No, doofus. She's still sleeping. Sam said to let her rest. She's waking up now, though._

The pack thought my name so often that I woke up without any help from the outside world. My eyelids pulled open, heavy as I examined the clearing where all the snow had melted from the night before. The wood was set up for the bonfire and the Cullens stood around it like they were statues, unblinking. Rosalie caught my eye and a hint of a smile graced her lips before everything hit me.

The rush of pack-shared memories was a slap across the head, my mind stung as it expanded for new echoes of moments. Tears, shouting, begging, pleading, Jacob's joy. Bella had been awake when Jacob and Edward were talking last night. She sat up when during the conversation when Jacob mentioned me and how I'd imprinted—

 _Oh my God!_ Anxiety socked me in the chest, hard enough to where I struggled to breathe. I hopped up to my feet and I could see Jasper tensing in the distance. _Tell me this is an elaborate fake memory for a really bad prank!_

 _It's not a prank. Would've been a good one, though,_ Paul thought, happy at the thought of Edward not being around me anymore.

Edward and Bella had the argument of a lifetime in a tiny tent in the middle of the raging blizzard. Apparently, Edward had already promised to stop hiding things from her. My imprinting was one helluva big straw that broke the camel's back. Jacob was there to add fuel to the fire, too, adding in a few details every now and then to make it worse. In the end, Edward had been forced to wait outside of the tent while Jacob cuddled her the entire night.

Seth felt so bad and had barked every time Jacob opened his mouth, trying to get him to shut up. Edward was standing close to him and had started staring since I woke up.

 _I tried so hard, Leah!_ Seth thought, distressed to the max. Everyone in the pack was starting to get bothered by our considerable panic. _Edward, I'm sorry for Jake's behavior!_

I had to be getting it wrong. I'd stayed out of the way, I'd made sure not to tell Bella even when I knew it was right, and Bella found out anyway? Not only did she find out, but right before the battle?

Some cosmic force _had_ to be screwing with me!

"I can hardly understand you, Seth, let alone any of the others. Slow down," Edward whispered to my little brother who was still profusely apologizing. "When you're all in a panic or otherwise distracted, I can't hear well. Not even…" Edward trailed off and closed his eyes.

 _At least you're not the reason she found out,_ Seth thought at me, hesitantly optimistic.

_I'm still the reason it's even happening!_

_Don't worry, Leah. After he rejects you, I'll kill him for all the trouble he's caused the pack._

Everyone's thoughts hushed in a split second, even Sam's. It was forbidden to threaten or harm an imprint, no matter what. It was our most sacred rule and to Paul's credit, he felt immediate guilt for his comment—instant, gnawing regret. It was a shame I didn't care.

I tackled Paul, dishing out a savage bite to his shoulder.

Distantly, I heard Edward gasp as he realized what was happening, but it didn't slow me down. He could be horrified all he wanted, I wouldn't let a threat against him slide. No one could even think about hurting him. I did my absolute best to try and maim him before Sam forcibly separated the two of us. The Cullens ended up having to step in to keep us apart and Emmett picked me up like I was a pillow.

Sam dealt with Paul. _There will be consequences if I see anymore internal fighting! I mean it!_ Sam shouted as he used a paw to keep Paul on his back and Edward flinched. He must've got that clear over everyone's frantic chatter.

 _Something's happening,_ Seth thought, an anxious tinge to his mind.

I closed my eyes so I could better see through his and the others quieted to watch along with me. Jacob was leaving and Bella was chasing after him, begging him to stay with her. She had puffy and red eyes, the poor girl, but Jacob wasn't budging. Finally, she made an outlandish request for him to kiss her, right in front of Edward.

 _Edward, kill him! I'll help!_ I started barking in Emmett's arms and he tightened his grip on me.

"We'll take Flash until things calm down here," Emmett told Sam, who nodded in turn.

I got carried away like a baby having a temper tantrum, but before I could even growl at Emmett for it, Alice spoke. "It's time," she announced with astounding timing. "Get ready!"

Sam had the pack line up, scolding anyone for wandering thoughts towards my bowlful of drama. They were to focus, to keep their eyes on the prize—Victoria's head. It was easy enough for everyone to stay on point until Jacob phased.

He had the kiss playing over and over again in his head. Seth started to get queasy. I didn't let a second pass before I picked the inevitable fight with Jacob.

 _I hope a newborn tears your freakin' head off!_ I thought, sending plenty of vicious imaginings at him.

 _I wouldn't even care. I got to kiss Bella—I almost didn't come down here! But, you guys need me… I knew she'd ask me to kiss her, though. I knew it!_ He conjured up more horrible new details about how her lips had felt. _And I don't get why you're so grumpy, Leah. You get him, I get her. Everybody wins._

 _You're such an_ idiot _, Jake! You're hurting everyone and that includes your precious self!_ I recalled the look on Bella's face when Edward was climbing out of the tent. Seth's glimpses were enough, but with all Jacob's memories at my fingertips, it was impossible not to see.

Bella would _never_ get over Edward.

I'd only gotten over Sam because I could imprint. Bella would always be wishing, wanting the one thing she knew could never be only hers. So, the kiss hadn't meant she wanted Jacob instead of Edward. It meant she needed to not lose anyone else, especially him. He was her friend—her _best_ friend, forever. She would never let him go and she would never hold him any closer—

 _That's not true!_ Jacob barked loud enough that I hard him from miles off. I was an uncomfortable reminder again. Unless he imprinted, life would always and forever be hell for him. _Shut up! You don't even know what you're talking about! You don't even know her! And, Jared? You're right! If she needs help out on the field, let her die!_

Edward whispered from miles away, "No."

 _Jake, don't say that! You can't say that about my sister!_ Seth whimpered, his stress rising to a level that affected me on a physical level. A headache throbbed between my temples and I let out my own whimper before Sam locked it all down.

 _Everyone, shut up or I'll wipe you all out before the army even gets here!_ Sam ordered in that irresistible tone. All side-conversations, along with Jacob's and my argument, ceased. _This is ridiculous, I can't believe the immaturity you're all exhibiting! Our ancestors would be ashamed of you, you make_ pitiful _warriors. At this rate, you couldn't pull together to defeat a pillbug! So, let me make this all very simple for you bozos! Jacob Black, you will help everyone who needs it! The rest of you will either fight together or you will die together—period!_

That put the fear into everyone, the kind that made you keep your head on a swivel and bounce on the balls of your feet. Jasper lit the fire not long after Sam's rebuking and then the pack split into two.

I was in the half of us that went where the second group of newborns would be trying to ambush the Cullens from. Emmett and Rosalie joined us, both of them loose in their stride. They weren't even a little worried. Emmett had a difficult time finding a spot to hide until Rosalie yanked him behind a big, leaning spruce.

The rest of the Cullens waited out in the clearing. Jacob was with them, an absentminded disgust at their stench occupying his mind. Embry and Quil were backing him, waiting for what we were all sure would be the fight of our lives.

Petty disagreements that had ruled the pack for the last week lost all their importance. None of us had been too worried before—killing vampires was what we were made for, it was our calling. Now, there was a gnawing awareness of how easy it'd be to slip up and die. That awareness became tangible in the newborns when they were within hearing distance.

A guy kept ordering them around and none of them seemed to care, too distracted by Bella's scent. I understood why Alice was so sure it'd be an easy fight now because I was starting to bet on that, too. Finally, one of the girls spoke up and the army divided into two smaller and more manageable groups.

It wasn't long before the first group of them got close to where we were hiding. To my complete and utter surprise, the idiots actually started talking as they came toward us.

Some excited guy in the group said, "Just smell that! She's gonna be so tasty—so _ripe_. I can't stop drooling!"

"We must be close now," a terser female voice responded.

"If I see her, she's mine. I'm gonna split her open and lick her insides to make sure I have every. Last. _Drop_ of her blood." The same guy started to sniff the air and all four of us tensed. Rosalie and Emmett didn't bat an eyelash "She's not here. Those yellow-eyes tricked us. I'm gonna get her!" He peeled off from his group and I looked over to my alpha for permission.

 _Go ahead, Leah,_ Sam thought with malice. He wanted to do it, himself, but I was faster.

I darted out of our cover in the brush and snatched him up, biting him in half before he could even react to me. When my teeth sunk through his torso, I remembered eating candy necklaces as a kid, all chalky and crunchy. At least the necklaces had tasted like something good and sweet. This sucker tasted like _ash_ , like a scorched stone. It was disgusting. It was nauseating. It was a shame someone so young had to die twice.

It was also completely satisfying. Something deep inside of us was satiated, fulfilled. Finally, I was doing what I was supposed to.

After I'd chomped the guy in half, the second group entered the clearing and it was like an explosion went off. Snarls and growls and bloodthirsty screams echoed off of the trees, but they didn't fade as an echo should. The sounds only got louder, especially when what sounded like stone scrubbing against a grater joined the plethora of noise.

Through the metallic screeches and the ashen taste in my mouth, I could still sense everything. I knew what paw Embry was using to whack a cold one in the face, it might as well have been my own paw. I'd never been more physically connected to the pack. Instead of the typical yelling over one another, we all spoke and understood at the same time. We were sharing the moment, marking each other's positions and what each of us was doing. Even Jacob had quieted down. He was laser-focused on defending against a group of six alongside Quil and Esme.

It occurred to me that the reason we'd fought each other when phased was that we were _supposed_ to be fighting. We weren't supposed to be hearing every little unimportant, fleeting thought. This was what the telepathic connection was actually for. Easy, streamlined battle.

The newborns were every bit as vicious as the Cullens had described, so it was a good thing we'd pulled together so well. They scratched and tried to grab and break anything that came near them. Emmett made our group of leeches nervous, shocked them with his sheer size. They had to know it was hopeless as soon as they saw him. It was like they'd brought knives to a gunfight. None of them were even slightly prepared for the ruthless, strategic battle.

None of them had prepared for my speed.

 _Tear him apart, Lee!_ Quil encouraged me as I tore off the leg of one who'd caught Edward's scent, admiration coming through his thought.

The pack stuck close while fighting, but I was like the ball in a pinball machine. I was all over the place, catching cold ones that headed off toward where Bella was still hiding. I always threw them back into the fray, directing them into the clearing where it was easier to keep track of them. And there was truly no mercy in that grassy clearing, not even an ounce. But there was also still no sign of Victoria.

We all became impatient for her appearance—Jacob, especially.

Jacob switched with Sam and was in the woods, at my back at some point in the fight. While he gave a newborn a good claw across the face, he thought to me, _The second she shows her face, she's mine. It's just a question of when it's gonna happen._

 _No, it's a question of where, not when. Where the hell is she?_ I wondered back before darting off to snatch up a fleeing vampire by her hair. I got a good hold of her and then threw her, spearing her straight into the fire.

Whenever a cold one or its limbs got tossed into the raging bonfire, the orange blaze would flash violet. They burned fast and smelled horrible. Their usual toxic icy sweetness was being suffocated by a cloying, fetid stench that had its own form. Black smoke came alive whenever a cold one got thrown into its foundation of flame. It waved a cruel farewell to their stinking lives and loomed over its next victims, waiting to be fed.

It was intense watching a cold one burn alive, too panicked to simply step out of the flames and roll around in the grass.

 _Yikes. Bad way to go,_ Jacob remarked, a little lighter about it than me. All I could think of was how that could've been Edward if Bella hadn't caught him in time. _You know, even for imprints, you two are intense. Even Sam thinks so. Can't you go five seconds without thinking about him?_

_No._

Speaking of Edward, I made sure to check in on him. Seth turned his head so I could see where Edward had curled up beside the tent, listening to Bella cry. Nothing would fix itself. He had to go in and fix it. Screw Jacob, screw me, screw everything. If he didn't go in, it would get so much worse because the one person in the world she needed wasn't there. The one person she needed to hold her was outside while her questionable best friend risked his life.

 _Shut up, Leah._ Jacob barked in my general direction.

 _Go in, comfort her!_ I urged him, making sure to be loud so he'd hear me. It surprised me when he followed my instructions, unzipping the flap to head into the tent.

Jacob's heart wrenched, giving everyone else's heart a faint tug. _We have to end this thing. How long've we been fighting?_

 _Less than two minutes,_ Embry thought. He'd been meticulously counting the seconds. Seconds were like minutes in battle with a vampire. Everything happened in halves of milliseconds, during the spaces between one Mississippi, two Mississippi, and three Mississippi for a human.

 _At least you guys get to fight,_ Seth thought, sulky as Embry helped Quil take on a tall one. _Aw, that looks so cool! I hate being up here!_

 _Seth, stop complaining and keep watch,_ Jared thought with a vague authority.

The fight wasn't even close to being over. Not a lot of newborns were being killed, we were in the middle of the process of herding them together. We needed to have each one accounted for and the pack had counted seventeen, altogether.

 _I thought there were eighteen,_ Embry thought, replaying his headcount in his mind. He'd counted eighteen, sure enough. I guessed there were four dead instead of three, then.

 _It's possible the Cullens killed one without us realizing._ Sam recalled how quick Jasper had dismembered a newborn and then tossed it into the fire.

Less work for us was better, if you asked me.

 _See, that mentality is exactly why you don't already have Edward. I know you want him, don't deny him. You don't have the drive it takes to get him, is all._ Jacob started his mental brag about kissing Bella again, baiting me.

To be honest, it felt good to be out of the confusing Cullen house and killing off leeches. This was what I was meant to do, the reason why I'd phased. There was a sense of rightness, almost as strong as when I stood beside Edward, warming me up and making me stronger—

_So, you're just gonna ignore me now?_

I was faster than ever, dodging all the grasping white hands without a thought, biting off a few as I went. One thing kept me going even when I thought about the Bella situation. One thing, all by itself.

After we won the fight, I could finally kill Jacob Black.

 _As if._ Jacob put all his dubiety on me before focusing again on the threat at hand.

 _Can I get a little help over here?_ Jared asked and I went running. I felt all his distaste about it as I helped him fight off a big cold one. _Thanks, I guess._

_What do you mean "you guess"? I saved your butt!_

_Stay sharp!_ Sam bellowed his correction and I ran toward another newborn that was already running for me.

It was like a game of chicken, but at the last second, I let my legs fall out from under me. The newborn wildly over-swung and I took off its arm, which kept it busy screaming in agony. I threw its arm into another newborn that thought it was slick coming up behind me. The newborn went flying and I took that as my chance to dart over to Paul.

He hadn't asked for help, but I'd felt his stress level take a sharp spike. I hadn't realized it in the fray, but he'd decided to try and take on two by himself. Thoughts traveled at light-speed whenever we fought while phased. Feelings traveled _faster_.

_No, no, no! It's on my back!_

_I got you!_ I seized the demon by the back of its head, throwing it straight into Sam's waiting mouth.

Sam got his teeth around the newborn's neck and bit the head off of it. I picked it up off of the grass, tossing it into the fire as he helped Paul. Embry came over, lending the two a hand so I could go get a vampire that was trying to escape.

 _Why'd you help me back there?_ Paul wondered, completely befuddled by my actions.

_It comes down to this, Paul. I don't want one more family broken up because of cold ones. If they want to take a life today, they'll have to do it over my dead body._

_You almost sound honorable._ Paul helped me and Embry tear apart a bulky newborn. _Anyway, since I owe you now, I'll allow you to fight me to re-earn my respect. You lose, I hate you forever. You win—_

 _You can't hate me or Edward. In fact, you'll become supportive—a cheerleader for our imprint bond._ I thought of creative ways to use Paul's support to make his life miserable. Pom-poms would be a great start.

 _Sure, I'll agree to those terms. You have no chance of winning anyway,_ Paul thought, not a doubt in his mind.

 _Wow, you really_ are _stupid,_ Jared thought at Paul.

The groups finally joined each other in the clearing to try and stand a better chance at winning. That was how I ended up fighting with Rosalie. Together, we made up one efficient killing machine. We took down four newborns in three seconds.

" _That's_ how it's done!" She yelled fast, her diction not suffering for the speed. Emmett gave an eager growl in response from a few feet away. They had a bit of a wager over who would kill the most newborns after Jasper.

She gave a teasing thump to my ear before going off to a trio of leeches. She looked so much more graceful than them, refined in every way. The newborns zigged and zagged while Rosalie danced and looped around them. All of them shined, but Rosalie's glow was the only one that reminded me of a diamond.

Emmett was having a blast. He jumped on the shoulders of a newborn and ripping its head off with a roar that made a few nearby newborns jump. The Cullens were killing the most, by far, but we were doing great in keeping the heat off of them. Especially Jasper, who seemed to have the bulk of the newborns on him.

It looked like he was doing alright, but something urged me to keep watching. Alice was behind him and she would try to fight some incoming from the side, but he would block her off. She locked eyes with me from across the clearing, I could see the desperation in them. Mixed with all the desperation was all the frustration her pretty, pixie face would allow her to display.

I found myself running over to help them.

Jasper's got bit on the arm as I lurched toward the chaos surrounding him and a flash of heat went through me. I tore the newborn off of his arm and started ripping it to shreds. Alice was quick to join me with her teeth bared and fierce eyes. I left her to it so I could help clear out the rest of the leeches crowding the two of them. Jasper was smart enough not to try and keep me from fighting alongside him.

"Jazz, let me fight, too!" Alice demanded, crouched behind him and waiting for an opportunity to present itself. But he didn't let one get past him, even if he almost got bitten because of it. "Jasper!"

I snatched up a bloodsucker by its ankle, slamming it down on the ground. It had tried to jump onto Jasper, but I'd gotten it in time. Alice was shaking with anger as I ripped the newborn up, but managed to give a nod to me when we locked eyes again. She mouthed a thank you and I nodded before helping her love fight off more red-eyed demons.

 _Incoming!_ Seth alerted. Victoria was on her way to them. She'd somehow gotten by the rest of us to approach Bella and Edward straight on. Someone was with her.

 _You got this, Seth. We're all here to guide you through it,_ Sam thought, calm and level even as he took on a dozen newborns by himself. I ran over to help, Jacob too busy killing just one newborn and worrying about Bella. I couldn't blame him, I was already running to get to Edward. _Leah, stay and fight!_

Sam used his alpha voice, so I had no choice. I knew someone was going to try and kill my baby brother and I couldn't do a thing about it. No choice— _never_ any choice. But, I could beg, beg any god that was listening, beg my ancestors.

Not my brother. Please, not him. If anyone, it should've been me. It could be me, I didn't care. Just not him. Not him and not Edward.

 _I'll be ok,_ Seth thought, full of courage and strength. I was too weary to even pretend I was so sure. _I'll be sure for both of us._

Soon enough, I felt a pain go through my shoulder and I knew— _Seth!_

 _I'm ok! I'm ok! I'll get him, don't worry!_ He had a plan. It was a stupid, stupid plan.

_Sam, please! Please, let me go up there! It's my family, it's my imprint! Please!_

_No, we need you here,_ Sam thought, denying me the comfort of being able to protect them with my own body.

 _They'll be fine, Leah. Stop worrying over that bloodsucker so much. Trust in Seth,_ Jacob thought too harshly for it to be nice or reassuring.

For all Jacob's talk, he was also perplexed. It was more about Victoria being so close to Bella for him than about Seth's shoulder. He had complete confidence in my brother. And it wasn't that I couldn't believe in Seth's ability to take that cold one down. It was that I didn't want to even think about him having to fight without backup. Edward would be too busy fighting Victoria and protecting Bella. Seth was essentially on his own.

"Please!" I heard one of the scum cry out and spotted Carlisle holding a small one in his arms. He could've lobbed her head right off of her shoulders. Instead, he threw her into a spruce a bit away, more removed from the raging battle.

"Please," the girl said again."I don't want to fight." From the look on Carlisle's face, I could tell he was considering sparing her. So much for no mercy.

 _Great. That's just what we need,_ another _Cullen._

 _If they do take her in, it's none of our business. She's already one of them—more power to her if she chooses to obey the treaty and only feeds on animals. Makes our job easier,_ Sam thought in response to Jacob's sarcastic comment.

There always seemed to be a line of the things trying to make their way to Sam, so I teamed up with him and Jared for a bit. Jasper made his way over to Carlisle, leaving Alice and Rosalie to fill the hole he'd left in battle.

"Leah!" Alice called out of nowhere and drop-kicked a newborn out of midair before it could land on me. "You need to pay attention! Just because we're winning, doesn't mean you can't still get hurt!"

At her scolding, I looked around the clearing. The army's numbers were low, only a few of them left and fighting for all they were worth.

The fight was over in a few more seconds and all of us were able to take a breath. Jasper had a newborn knelt by the fire, Carlisle close by. Alice ran over to them and Emmett and Rosalie helped us throw the remaining body parts into the fire. Rosalie patted my head and then ran her fingers through my fur, getting chunks and dust out of it for me.

"Flash! Way to go on the field!" Emmett gave me a smack on the rear end like we were at a football game. I kicked him with my hind-leg and he laughed as he went flying into the trees.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "I'll talk to him about boundaries and how they still exist even when you're phased." She started to go after him, but she stopped and looked up at me. "Good job today." Then she raced off to go get Emmett.

I decided to take one last look around the edges, making extra sure there weren't any left. I made it a quick scan since all I wanted to do was phase back and check on Seth and Edward. Seth seemed fine, but Bella was against a mountain wall, clearly in shock. Edward was speaking to her in a soft, soothing voice.

_Seth, is she ok?_

_We're all good, Leah. I got Riley all by myself!_ Seth was bursting with pride and everyone was quick to encourage him. It got loud enough to where I couldn't hear anything but how they were singing Seth's praises.

 _I'm going up, Sam!_ I yelled over the rest of them.

I turned my back to the trees, already starting to lose my heat as I stood next to my bag. It was still laying the same place, covered in white powder and shards of newborns. Everyone was talking, busy celebrating how awesome they were, but Sam glanced over at me.

 _They should be coming down soon and then we'll have to leave. Why don't you stay with us until then? Celebrate, you deser—dodge to your right! Leah, for God's sake, move!_ The thought changed quickly from almost a lazy, half-formed thing into an acute panic. My heart-rate shot up in an instant.

Sam had started running toward me before his thought was even all the way out. The entire pack was on his heels and so were a few of the Cullens, but none of them were looking at me. They were all looking behind me.

I hadn't paid close enough attention in my scan, I'd been too eager to want to get to Edward and comfort him. A newborn had been hiding, but it wasn't anymore. That was my mistake. I realized that. But since it had all happened in a split-second— _if_ that—there was nothing I could do. I wasn't that fast.

But, to be completely honest...I didn't even try. Wouldn't they all be better without me anyway?

"No!" I heard Edward's heavenly voice cry out. Through Seth's panicked eyes, I saw Edward reach out like he could help somehow. "Jacob, run!"

A pair of cold arms snaked around me, its fingers pressing into my fur and through my skin. My heart skipped a beat, practicing for the real deal of stopping altogether.

Oddly, I heard the crunch before I felt it. It sounded so fragile for being so loud. It was like a carton of eggs getting stepped on, something that required so little effort to break. Jacob had been the closest out of everyone running, by far, but he paused when he heard the sound, just for a millisecond.

He didn't like me, but he'd never actually wanted me to die. That was all he could think. It was the last coherent thought that made it to my brain before the grip tightened and the pain hit. The entire pack stopped to howl in place, screaming in their heads. We all screamed.

_AHHHHHHH!_

I blacked out. Everything was gone. But, it all came rushing back.

My eyes snapped open and I was in my human form, curled up on my side. I tried to suck in a breath of cold air, but the pain stole away the oxygen right from my lungs. There was an excruciating burning in my shoulder, boiling me from the inside out.

Carlisle was knelt by my side, his eyes hard. He said something as he pressed the oversized tee from my bag onto my burning shoulder, but I couldn't hear it. I couldn't hear anything.

"Carlisle," I mouthed, unable to get the air I needed to say his name.

He tried to move my arm with a gentle touch, prying it just a little from my side. My hearing came back with a loud pop as I let out a scream that I didn't know I had in me. It bounced off of all the spruces, back at me, and through me.

"Leah!" Sam was human again and wearing shorts as he knelt down beside me, shielding me from the others' eyes. "No, no, no. Lee-Lee," he whispered his old nickname for me. His hand hovered over my skin, not brave enough to touch me after the piercing sound I'd made.

"We have to get her to our home, I can take care of her—"

"No, her mom's. Her mom has to know," Sam insisted over Carlisle.

Esme chimed in from somewhere out of my view, "Her mother won't likely allow her in. Take her to ours, please."

"Make a decision, they're coming!" Alice exclaimed, her voice dim. Pain didn't have a sound, I knew that, but my blood was rushing in my ears. My blood pulsed in time with the sharpness around my lungs, with my frantic gasps through a tight chest. The sounds were one with the pain and both overpowered everyone else's voice. "Go! Take her to ours!"

"Please," Carlisle begged. "I can save her."

Sam nodded and then gently slid his arms under me, wincing when I gave a quivering cry. I couldn't extend my legs, I couldn't feel them at all. I wanted Edward, but he wouldn't get there in time. We had to leave before the other vampires showed up.

I hoped he could hear me, could hear my thoughts, could hear my voice. If he was close enough, there was a chance. One last chance to say the right thing. The thing to make his frown go away.

"I-I—…I—" My lungs denied me it, the one last choice I had to make. I didn't even get to say my last words. Blood dribbled out of my mouth and down my chin for all the effort I'd made.

Sam almost lost his mind when he saw it. "Don't take long, Carlisle!" He shouted, desperate.

Sam started moving away with me in his arms and my heart trembled in my chest. Tears started flowing down the sides of my face when I realized I wouldn't get to see Edward or my mom again. And then Sam just sprinted us away. Far away.

"Hang in there," Sam whispered into my hair, adjusting me in his arms since I was difficult to hold so slick with sweat.

What had that demon done to me? I couldn't think or sort out exactly where all the pain was coming from anymore. All my thoughts scrambled in my head every time Sam took a step and moved me. I just knew the burning was getting worse and I wanted Sam to take the bloody fabric off of the fire he couldn't smother.

"Leah, can you hear me?" Jacob asked and I saw that the whole pack was running with us.

I tried to nod, but the pain was overwhelming when I moved my neck. I could only stay very still and try to breathe.

I went out again.

Sam was still running when I came to, but he was looking down at me with concern etched into every line on his face.

I started to try and say something, only to blink and instantly fade out of consciousness.

Trying to stay awake was like trying to lift up a building that'd collapsed on top of me. I couldn't bear the weight of my own exhaustion. The burning spread through my veins and I became eager for the lapses of consciousness. It was the only way to escape the fire.

But—darn it, I was stronger than this! I knew I was stronger. I'd always wanted to be when it came time. I'd always promised myself I'd be.

Sam's arms were the constant. I would go out for longer and longer each time and he was always there. He held me close and gentle to his chest, his arms curved in an odd way to try and shield my naked body from plain sight. In a way, I was glad it was him.

He looked down at me, a tear slipping down his cheek. I felt it splash against my cheek before I slipped away.

Later, my eyes fell open again, giving me another sense to rely on than touch and sound. The Cullen house was within smelling distance. It was funny, the stench didn't bother me anymore. I actually preferred their smell to the newborns.

When I looked around as best as I could without moving my head, I saw that Seth was running beside Sam. Silent tears streamed down his face that he wiped away with a tight fist before anyone could see. I reached for him, grunting in pain and continuing despite the screaming of my bones. He saw and his fingers grazed mine before I was out again—deeply.

I could feel that I wasn't going to wake up again, but no dreams stirred me. It was just blackness. I couldn't feel any pain, though, so I didn't mind the absence of everything else.

Not being in pain was so preferable to being awake that I let myself sink deeper into darkness. I relaxed into it and let it carry me further out, toward the unknown. Away, away, and farther out still. I couldn't have found my way back if I'd wanted to.

And then I got this really weird feeling.

I felt like if I kept sinking, my dad would catch me. He'd just be there and we would be together and I wouldn't have to ache the way I had ever again. I stopped sinking. I went towards the feeling of him. I had no body to walk with, only a sense of his presence to float towards, to focus on as it grew more and more intense. Eventually, I started being pulled toward him by a force. I wasn't sure what it was, but I was happy to let it lead me faster away.

"No, Leah. Go back," Dad said from somewhere deep within the peaceful dark. I had missed his voice so much. I wanted to see him. "Don't come here. You have to go back."

Why not? I was so sick of hurting, of fighting. Why couldn't I be with him?

"Your brother needs you, your mother couldn't live with herself if you were taken away from her, too. You have so much life left to live." An opposing force pushed back on me, keeping me still against the pull downward. "You have to go home, Leah. I love you, but you can't stay."

_Dad, I love you, too. I love you so much. I'm so sorry for what I did. I'm sorry._

"It's not your fault, Lee-Lee."

I was yanked out from the darkness, through all the layers of unconsciousness and the depths of nothingness. It was fast, as jarring as when a fish was abruptly pulled out of the sea, into the air and exposed to the raw sunlight.

I startled awake with a yell, softness under my right side, the icy smell of cold ones all around. Two sets of hands held onto me, restraining me where I was laying on my side as the yell transitioned into a scream. There was an oxygen mask blasting me with air and a pain in my chest was threatening to kill me. I tried to reach toward it, looking for some way to end the savage torture.

"Hold her down!" Carlisle commanded and the two sets of hands tightened, stopping my limited wriggling.

My eyes opened and I was still screaming and all I could see was Carlisle next to an odd machine. A tube was feeding red liquid into it—blood. My blood. Chest tube.

My mom had talked to be about chest tube placements. She went on and on about how painful they were and how if I ever needed one, I needed to ask to be put under. I'd always rolled my eyes and thought to myself how I could take it.

But no, I couldn't. I couldn't take it.

I screamed bloody murder until I had to stop to breathe and that was when I heard Seth's sobs. He was somewhere in the room, as was the rest of the pack, if I was smelling things right. He was suffering because of me. Was that all I was good for? To make every I loved to suffer? I bit my cheek to try and shut up for Seth's sake, giving a ragged pant. My ribcage crunched when I exhaled through my nose.

Blood pooled in my mouth as I writhed on the bed, doing my best to shut up. Carlisle adjusted the blue sheet draped over me, a hole where the tube was. It didn't seem like he was even close to being finished, so I resorted to begging—louder than I'd planned.

"Stop! Carlisle, please!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. It was worse than it should've been because I could feel my flesh trying to mend itself around the tube. Carlisle kept having to push against my healing as it tried to push out the small tube. "Stop, stop, stop! Please! Please, stop!" My voice was hoarse and against my best efforts, when Carlisle pushed the tube further in, I let out a shriek.

"Leah, listen to me." Edward's voice channeled through the air and the bond shut me up so I could listen to him. "It's going to be alright, but you have to stop moving. He'll hurt you if you keep moving and he won't mean to, but he won't be able to help it." He pressed a hand to my cheek. I was running so hot that his hand started to warm against my skin the second he touched it. It had to hurt.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled. I didn't have enough control to not move and speak at a reasonable volume.

"It's ok. It doesn't hurt me," he insisted and slipped his hand down onto my neck. It felt so good. "Relax. I'm here. It's going to be alright."

I made an effort to keep still, but when something in my spine reconnected, I started to kick. Carlisle leaned over me, displaying all the blood on his white coat. An icy liquid pushed into right arm and I let out a soft sigh. My head felt light, the fire was dull and distant. Edward's thumb started a hypnotic pattern of sweeping back and forth over my neck. I was out before I could count to two.

When I woke up again, I was still in bed, but the whole pack was in the room along with the Cullens. Since I was on my back, I looked to my left and saw Sam was there with a severe expression on his face. He lit up when we met eyes and gave a nod to the pack who started to crowd the bed. I looked to my right and Edward was there, holding my hand in both of his. The pack muttered endless apologies and wishes to get well. A peek out of the glass showed me it was pitch black outside.

"You guys should go home," I croaked over the top of them. "Take Seth. Tell my mom. Get some rest."

"You sure you want us to leave you here?" Jacob asked, casting a wary glance at Emmett who was in the corner. "We could take you with us."

Carlisle piped up from where he was standing near Sam's seat. "No, you may not move her. Her mother is welcome to visit her here, however. And, of course, Seth is, too."

The pack looked at me, nervous as hell about the group of vampires we'd just backed in battle. I understood it, though. It was hard to leave any member of the pack behind when you were a part of it.

"Go already," I said, closing my eyes. I focused on breathing as they all channeled out of the room, taking Seth who struggled and fought.

"No way! I'm not going! Leah!" Seth ran back into the room, a betrayed look in his eyes. As soon as I could, I was going to hug him and go have a calm dinner with him and Mom. I didn't care if I had to duct tape her to a chair to make it happen. "You can't make me—!"

"Let's go, Seth," Sam said, interrupting his outrage. He got up and put his hands on Seth's shoulders to steer him back out of the room. "Call if you need us. I'll be here in five minutes, anytime, any day."

Sam lingered at the door until I replied in my hoarse voice, "Yeah, ok." He then pushed Seth right outside of the room with him. The pack trailed after him, muttering more morose apologies as they went. It was kind of surprising how easy they left.

"Jasper helped," Edward whispered to me and I looked up at his face. The full force of his beauty was a shock to my system after having been without it for so long. "How are you feeling?" He asked and then set his jaw. He didn't look very concerned.

I thought about it, wiggling my toes and the fingers on my free hand. "Drugged." There was a decided numbness to every square inch of me. It rocked.

"Good," Carlisle said, back in the room after seeing the pack out. He placed a cool washcloth on my forehead and checked the clunky monitor beside me.

I used the cloth to wipe my eyes with a shaking hand since they stung with sweat. Edward took the washcloth from me with one hand, wiping my face and eyes for me. Since he could read my mind, he knew what I needed and where. It was the first time I'd appreciated his ability in a noncombatant area. When he finished wiping my face and neck, he held the cloth in his hands. It was a moment until he made it cold again before it went back on my forehead. For being so nice, he looked pretty pissed off.

Carlisle spoke then. "You had a hemopneumothorax and a collapsed lung. I managed to perform surgery to help, but even with Seth and the extra bags of blood I had, you lost a lot of blood. You had the worst spinal cord injury I've ever seen, but it healed once your brother's stem cells came into effect. His blood also helped flush out whatever venom was left after I extracted the majority."

"Venom," I whispered to myself. That explained the burning. Vampire venom was poison to a shapeshifter and if you got hurt after getting bit, you didn't heal. No wonder I got surgery—I actually needed it. "How'd you get it out of my system so fast?"

"I tried to—for lack of a better word—suck it out of you, cutting you open being too much of a risk. Venom is a natural blood thinner and you already bleed so well. Your blood was too bitter for me, however, so Edward helped me out." I glanced over at Edward after Carlisle's explanation.

He still looked pissed off. His voice was level, though, as he said, "It may surprise you to know that wasn't my first time sucking the venom out of someone."

"The bite mark on Bella's hand?" I questioned and smiled when he made a little shocked face. "I'd been curious about it for a while. She hadn't told Jake the whole story, but I guess I know now."

"Yes, well, you should be thankful a veteran was around to help," Carlisle teased, lightening the mood.

"Mind you, it didn't taste good. It tasted like how blood used to taste." Edward made a disgusted face and then gave a brief shudder.

"Thanks," I muttered. Was it weird that I felt a little offended Edward hated my blood?

Definitely. It was definitely weird.

"Definitely," Edward agreed, taking me off guard. I laughed, wincing in regret when pain struck my chest. A smile ticked his lips up for a second before he resumed the upset face.

Carlisle rubbed his eyes from the side of me and I wondered if I'd been the first being on earth to tire out a vampire. "Would you like more medication? How's your pain on a scale of one-to-ten?"

"Four. I feel pretty great, all things considered," I told him and took a deep breath for added measure. He watched, wary for a moment until he saw I wasn't lying.

Carlisle's eyes lit up as he exclaimed, "Good! That's very good!" He smiled to himself, completely pleased.

"Yeah, you saved my life. That's pretty good work there, Dr. Cullen." I tried to sit up, but Edward held me down. Why?

"Your healing isn't up to regular speed yet. You must rest," Edward answered. He looked so tired, too. Was he ok? "You can't seriously be asking me that."

"Enough with your secret conversations!" Emmett exclaimed in his deep, bass voice. I remembered the rest of the Cullens were in the room. They all had smiles on their faces as they looked between me and Edward. "That was pretty hardcore, Flash. Dunno if I could've done that when I was human."

"Let me save you the trouble. You couldn't have." He grinned at my slight, his dimples becoming pronounced. "You know, you guys can go and live your lives. I'm out of the woods now."

"Actually, we should keep watch over you tonight. Who'd like to take the first shift?" Carlisle asked, looking at his uncharacteristically quiet family.

"I will," Edward said fast before anyone else could even react. He scowled at something before he added, "I wish to speak with her, that's all."

Rosalie smirked, "Sure. That's all."

"Not now, Rose," Alice said in a tone that was missing the chastising tsk-tsk it needed. "Lee, when you're done speaking with Edward, we'll send in Esme. Carlisle will watch you after he's rested his mind a bit. I'll come to take care of you in the morning, Rose will in the afternoon. Emmett's here if one of the four of us can't take our shifts and Jasper will stick around to keep you feeling nice. Deal?"

Sounded good to me. "Deal."

"Great!" Alice clapped her hands lightly, a bright grin on her face. "We'll give you some privacy."

"You were great on the battlefield. Better than Jacob, if you ask me," Jasper told me, the bites on him already healed. "Let me know when you want my help." I nodded and he smiled, letting go over Alice's hand when she came toward me.

"Thank you for today, Leah," Alice said, so sincere in her tone. "You're the toughest person I know." She gave me a cold kiss on the cheek before leading Jasper out of the room by hand.

Rosalie was next, saying, "Don't be a baby. You'll get through this." Then, she looked to Emmett and waited on his final comment.

"I'm super pissed we didn't get our time to shine together," he said, sniffing and turning his head to the side to show his offense.

"Next time," I promised. He grinned.

"Can't wait." He wrapped an arm around Rosalie's shoulders then and the two of them walked out.

Esme came over and caressed my face, wincing at first contact. I still had quite a fever. "I'm so sorry this happened. But thank you so much for protecting my family today. I saw you out there, looking out for us and I was so touched. We'll take care of you the same way you took care of us, so relax. Recover for as long as it takes, we're at your beck-and-call."

"Thanks, Esme. You're too nice." I meant that, too. She was way too nice, someone was bound to try and take advantage of there. I'd be there to punch that person in the face. "Go on, I have to talk to Edward. You're coming back right after," I reminded her when she lingered.

"Alright. I'll take them outside for a bit, give you two genuine privacy." She took my left hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze before she left. As promised, she took the rest of them out, despite Rosalie's complaints.

Carlisle sighed, seeming torn. "I would prefer not to leave you, Leah." I preferred him to stay, too. Edward was freaking me out.

"Give us two minutes, that's all we'll need." Edward, who'd been silent throughout the goodbyes, let out a sharp scoff then.

I was in danger.

Carlisle looked between us and then conceded. "Two minutes." He ran out of the house. I knew he was probably already counting.

"Did you know the bond broke when you died?" Edward asked me once we were alone. "When you died for those three seconds, it shattered. The pain was worse than turning. Reconnecting after your first heartbeat was a relief."

I didn't know what to say to that. I had to think on it, not being the most eloquent woman in the world. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

He ripped his hand out of mine and stood up, knocking his chair over. "Who were you trying to hurt then? Who? Explain why you didn't even try to defend yourself against the newborn!" He shouted, shocking me to my toes. I'd expected a little leniency after coming back from the dead. "And you may have received some had you not been the reason you died in the first place!"

"That's not fair! Even if I'd tried, I wouldn't have been able to turn around in time!" The two of us shut up, the shock I felt showing upon his face. I could yell at him now? No, no—I could get _angry_ with him now?

Well, hell yeah! That was more like it!

"Oh, yes. _Bravo_. Your suicide by newborn has brought you newfound independence." I was about to release all my frustration out on him when his face crumpled. He looked at me like I'd torn his heart out. "So much of me lives in you now. Do you have any idea what it felt like for me when you died? How could you do that and think it was for anyone's sake—especially mine?"

" _I_ didn't do it. I just…didn't try very hard to stop it," I muttered, lowering my head in shame. It still hurt to hurt him.

He knelt beside the bed and took my hand in both of his again. "Fine, you didn't do it. You still must see what it did it to Seth, to Sam, to poor Collin. Can't you see that this affected everyone around you as well as yourself? When you died, I did too. Part of me died with you. Do you understand?" I gave a slow nod. "Then promise to try very, very hard the next time. Promise me that you won't let today repeat itself ever again."

"I can't promise that I won't die someday." I met his eyes, my stomach fluttering when I saw the soft look he had on his precious face. "And yet, here I go. I promise to never die, for any reason." Free will up to a point, it seemed.

He smiled and it reached his eyes, turning them into liquid topaz. "Leah…I want to make sure you know I'm doing this because I don't want any harm to come to myself or Seth. Of course, I would prefer an innocent life never to be taken. I don't desire your death. But this talk doesn't mean…" He trailed off, eyes flitting around, searching for something. He looked back to me and asked in the softest, sweetest voice I'd ever heard, "You know this doesn't mean anything else, don't you? I'm in love with Bella."

"I understand and I don't want anything more than friendship." It didn't hurt so bad when he was nice about it. Who knows? That could've been his intention.

"It was." He let go of my hand and stood back up, the sweet face gone in place of his usual frown. "I have no desire for you to be hurt anymore than you have been already. Now, rest. Research to painlessly break the bond will begin in earnest once I return."

He ran off before I could respond. I was left alone with my thoughts, my feelings, and the crashing realization that he really didn't care about me. I'd died and all he could think of was himself. That was it, wasn't it? He didn't want to be hurt again and only a monster would have wanted to see my brother in pain. So, it was back to square one.

As if I'd ever stepped onto any other square. I convinced myself I had with that stupid phone call, but as always, the turn came to find me. The turn of every good thing into another horrible memory…

Sleep was a good way to avoid thinking about it all.

I took a deep, cleansing, painful breath before getting under the covers. And then I was out. I didn't even remember closing my eyes, but I knew I was asleep when I found myself on a bridge. I was looking at myself from behind, a bodiless awareness. The me on the bridge was wearing a nice dress and her hair was long and wavy. She was the me I wished I still was. She glanced back and smiled.

For the first time that week, I was having a dream.

Edward walked to her from behind where my awareness was bolted down. He joined her and I surveyed the happy scene that took place during sunset. The two started laughed and talked about different things I couldn't quite make out. One comment stuck out, ringing clearly in comparison to the inaudible, happy conversation up until that point. He lifted up her hand and kissed it, a glorious engagement ring on her finger, next to a golden band. He murmured against her manicured fingers, "We'll have to make sure of that, especially with a baby now on the way." He placed his hand on her belly, pressing the loose fabric of her dress against the well-hidden swell. The two of them giggled, resting their foreheads together.

I woke up crying and even though Carlisle was there, his hand in mine, golden eyes shining with sympathy, I was alone. I was alone in all the ways that mattered.


	6. Chapter 6

### Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.

"Someone, please shoot me!" I shouted as loud as I could.

Life had taken a sharp turn downhill. From seven in the morning until dinner, the Cullen sisters dressed me up in anything they could dream of. And I could stand that, that was nothing. But then came the makeup, the mani-pedis, the hairstyles they'd see online and just needed to see on me. Involuntary group sewing sessions had become a recent thing in my slow descent into hell. It was Alice's solution to me not liking anything they dressed me in. For the most part, though, I was a doll for both her and Alice to play with whenever they wanted. And, boy, had they played and played and played. For _eight_ days.

How could I make it more clear how much I hated being their plaything?

Carlisle had been real anal-retentive about me resting and not walking at all. He insisted on my rest even when I told him over and over again that I was fine. I wasn't some human who took months to fix. One day, I got so frustrated over arguing with Carlisle about how soon I should be allowed up that I tried to phase. It was to prove a point, one that would've made all his arguments moot. Well, that happened to be the same day I got shot with my first tranquilizer. To be fair, he warned me three times before he dosed me up, but he still felt awful about it. It left a weird taste in my mouth and caused dreams so disorienting that I woke up just to vomit.

And I _still_ preferred the tranq gun over what Alice and Rosalie did to me every day. I even preferred fighting newborns.

"Stop with the dramatics, Leah. If you keep acting so childish, I'll put you in a tutu tomorrow." Rosalie tutted at me and then proceeded to yank on my hair. She was braiding it, she would've said, but I knew she was actually playing the long game in an elaborate play to scalp me.

"Stop pulling so hard!" I snapped at her and tried to bat away her hands. I put no real strength into the hits, so I doubted it felt like more than butterfly kisses to her fingers.

She hummed one sweet note and then pulled away. "Finished." She didn't bother showing me the style. In the beginning, she had, but she'd hated my lackluster reactions so much that I won and she stopped. "Look in the mirror. Try and tell me you're not beautiful."

I looked straight into my reflection at Rosalie's vanity. "I'm not beautiful."

"And I thought Bella was stubborn." She sighed folding one arm over her stomach as she pressed the fingers on her free hand up to her lips. She was assessing her work, impressed with it. "You know why I went for more of a minimalist look today?"

Eager to get her play-time over with, I asked, "Why?"

"I noticed your eyelashes. They're already perfect. Your skin's also perfect, too. Is that a shapeshifter thing? The mongrel also has nice skin and so do Seth and your little alpha."

"I wouldn't know because I couldn't possibly care less." She huffed at my answer, looking as offended as could be. I couldn't have cared less about that either. "Can I take my hair down now?"

"Sure. There's another style I wanted to try anyway."

"Ugh!" I let my head fall forward onto the vanity with a loud thunk. "Can't you go bother Seth for today?"

She made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat. "It's not as fun with him. He's happy to sit around and let me put makeup on him—he's gorgeous in fall colors, by the way."

The mental image of Seth in a dress with full makeup was a bit disturbing. "Better him than me."

" _There's_ that sense of loyalty all dogs have," she teased. She picked my hand and stuffed a makeup wipe into it. I sat up fast and scrubbed my face off hard enough with the wipe that I got all flushed. "Such an overreaction."

"Bite me." She actually looked surprised and I snorted at the priceless look on her face.

She recovered pretty fast. "You know, you're a lot less mean when _Alice_ does this to you."

" _Alice_ doesn't do it to torture me."

"That's hardly fair," she remarked, a dazzling grin on her face.

I worked on unraveling the braid until she took over for me. Her nimble fingers got rid of the detailed plaiting that had taken her a few minutes to do. Minutes were pockets of forever to a vampire. She took her time in giving me makeovers on purpose to piss me off.

I looked up at her and said, "I'm walking by myself to the bathroom."

"Go ahead." She waved me off and watched as I hobbled to her freshly sterilized bathroom.

I sat down on the toilet with care, my pelvis still tender. I didn't sleep well lately, so I didn't heal well either. My pelvis must have set wrong and Carlisle fixed it before I woke up because black bruises were all over my hips. I was sure if I put Carlisle's fingers to them, they'd be a perfect match.

Rosalie sighed and music started playing through her room. White noise was always helpful for me, in any situation. She knew that by now because whether I wanted to admit it or not, she had—in some capacity—been taking care of me all week.

God, what had my life become?

Vampire stink didn't bother me anymore and vampires, themselves, had become my allies. My nurses. My comrades. My imprint. In the strangest turn of events, I respected the Cullens. It took me a while to accept that, but I had nothing but time to sit around and ponder life. And in between the bathroom pondering sessions, I spent every waking second with at least one vampire by my side.

A lot had changed since the battle with the newborns in that grassy clearing.

Jacob had been with Bella every day since the battle and hadn't phased once to let anyone know what was going on. It was starting to worry Sam, but no one was as concerned as Billy. I knew that because Billy had actually called me the other day to wish me a swift recovery. Also, to urge me to go get Jacob and bring him back home. But I was just happy Billy had called me at all. It seemed so impossible. Sam had told me everyone was starting to miss me back at home more than they hated me, but I hadn't believed him. He'd also mentioned how the pack had changed, becoming more stressed-out than ever. It seemed to be getting to them, Jacob's silence. They'd always ask Sam to ask me if I knew anything new. And I guessed I got why. Now that I was tied to Edward, I was also intrinsically tied to the messy love triangle, too.

Edward hadn't been back since the day of the battle either, though…. I had a sinking suspicion he was in the same place as Jacob. Most of the time, I was waiting for him to show up. I was on edge all the time, every distant noise making me freeze until I knew it wasn't him. Even when Sam and Emily visited, we spent our time together in silence. Sam listened with me while Emily graded her students' papers and things like that. Then, there was Seth who stuck around like a barnacle I couldn't scrape off of my side. He came so often that he'd started blending in with the Cullens like background decoration. And unless Alice or Rosalie forced me out of lurking in Edward's room, I would never leave. I would forget the world and curl up in the thick comforter on his bed and wait.

There were rare times in my distended, disorienting days at the Cullen house when I'd stay out at the back. I'd post up on the wrap-around porch that perched me on the edge of nature. But, even then, I would read the books from Edward's collection out there. In his room, I listened to his music, trying to figure out the chaotic order he'd put it in. And I was always listening.

"Ow," I whispered as I stood up from the toilet lid. I walked over to the sink and splashed cold water on my face, hoping for some relief. I couldn't seem to be anywhere but on edge all the time.

A perpetual discomfort followed me through everyday and into the nights. I couldn't even think of sleeping unless I crashed on Edward's bed, but even then it wasn't a guarantee that I'd blink out. Restless couldn't even come close to how I felt. My life had become this awkward and odd thing that didn't even feel like mine at all. It wasn't enjoyable, there was no light, no sweetness. I was stuck being uneasy and hopeless I waited for all those things to come back—for _him_ to come back. But it wasn't painful. Not anymore.

So, now I'd begun to worry that I'd lost the authentic bond and I could only feel the rough aftershocks of the real deal. I found myself trying to picture him in my head to make sure I still loved him, but it never looked right. His skin would be too reflective, the line of his jaw would be too sharp. I could never get how his eyes would go from clear-cut gemstone to melted golden honey in a second. So, I added dread and panic to the long list of negative effects I experienced from not seeing Edward for over a week.

"You should live in a bathroom, you seem to love them so much. I'll never understand what your obsession is all about. What's so great about a room with a toilet?" Rosalie was in rare form that day. I was pretty sure I knew why.

"Well, you're not in them. If you ask me, that's pretty freakin' great." She tittered at my instant insult and I heard her run downstairs. Emmett was happy to receive her and let her sit in his lap.

"It should be illegal to look that cool! The Rock is on another level!" Emmett bellowed from downstairs. He had this way of being able to get excited about anything. He was also the only one I hadn't minded carrying me around, he made it more of a game and not an embarrassment.

"Pay more attention to me," Rosalie whined in that special voice she only ever used for Emmett. It always snatched his focus away from everything else.

"He can't! Doom is on, Rose!" Seth exclaimed and I heard his fist-bump with Emmett. I could recognize it by sound now because they fist-bumped so often.

Seth was the reason for Rosalie's vicious mood. She'd gotten used to my smell, but not his, and he'd made it a habit to constantly be around. He'd slept over last night, too, so the whole house had been invaded with his scent.

"Leah! Esme's cooking tonight! What do you wanna eat?" Seth called from where he was sitting on the couch as I was hobbling out of Rosalie and Emmett's bedroom.

I stood at the top of the stairs to reply, "Number one, you don't have to yell for me to hear you, genius. Number two, I already told you I don't care. You're the picky eater."

"Oh, right. Can you cook that meatloaf tonight, Esme? Oh, and can you make me some steak?"

"Of course, honey." Esme ran to the kitchen and got to work. I rolled my eyes as familiar clanging started and hobbled downstairs.

Out of everyone here—even Emmett—Esme got the biggest kick out of Seth setting up camp at the Cullen residence. She couldn't baby any of her adopted kids since they would complain about it, so Seth was Godsend. Emmett was a close second to Esme and scared the hell out of me by roughhousing with Seth all the time. They did this thing where they pretended to be pro wrestlers that I hated almost as much as Rosalie.

Saint Esme asked as she was grilling, "Would you like me to cut it up for you, Seth?"

I pointed at Seth from the bottom of the stairs where he was sitting on the couch. "If you say yes again, I'm sending you home."

He scowled at me before he said, "No, it's alright, Esme. I can do it myself."

"And please, for the love of God, Esme, stop peeling his apples. He fought a skilled newborn all by himself, he can eat an apple with the skin on it." It was ridiculous when the babying had started. I didn't even know what it was now, but it had to stop.

Esme peeked out from the kitchen's entryway as I hobbled past the hallway to smile at me. "He's so cute, I don't mind doing it for him."

"I thought you wanted to be a wolf someday, Pup. Don't let Esme fool you back into a state of infancy," Emmett teased with a broad grin on his face. He liked to tease Seth and Rosalie liked to annoy me.

They were such a _charming_ couple.

"You'll have to start calling me Wolf soon. Quil taught me some tricks last night and I can definitely beat you now," Seth taunted. He loved wrestling with Emmett, he thought it was a bunch of fun. Meanwhile, I would cringe whenever he so much as stubbed his toe.

The battle had made me even more protective over Seth, but it had also changed him in a lot of ways. He guarded his shoulder too much and was hesitant to go in for the kill in sparring with Emmett. Then there were the nights when he stayed over at the house. It would kill me every time he slept over because he'd have a nightmare. He would never mention it the next day but I knew it was always about the battle, about me. Emmett took care of him after a nightmare, a fact I could never appreciate enough, but I was done being the cripple. I'd take care of Seth myself.

I walked over to the couch and held up a hand when Seth made a move to get up so I could have his spot. "I'm good. But, hey, how was school today?"

"Not great." He deflated and caught Rosalie and Emmett's attention. "Lana's flirting with me all the time now and I can't get her to stop."

"Wow. I get the imprint thing, Pup, but _c'mon_. Have some fun! Get some action with the most popular girl at school!" Emmett clapped Seth on the back and let out a loud laugh.

I crossed my arms. "Don't listen to him. He's a bad influence—he's a _vampire_. Don't shame your ancestors, Seth." I only seemed to make Emmett laugh harder. Seth ended up laughing with him.

The Cullens had been amazing and accommodating as I recovered, more than I would ever admit out loud. Rosalie was being sweet in her own way by putting up with my scent all day without complaint. Alice only dressed me up because it was what made her feel better and she wanted me to feel better, too. Jasper was always using his power to lessen my pains and aches. Esme was sweeter than raw sugar cane, I could find no flaw in that woman. Carlisle was stern, but never actually mean or cruel toward me. They were all very thoughtful and helpful in their own ways. It wasn't them that made it so horrible. It was Edw—

"Actually, you're homesick. Edward's the closest you have to home, so you think it's him you miss—and you do. Technically. But, it's not _only_ him you miss," Jasper commented from the couch where he was reading a novel as thick as a football. He didn't even look up at me as he ordered, "Go visit home. You'll feel a lot better."

"You're a lot braver to voice your opinion when Alice isn't around," Rosalie accused, grinning when Jasper shot her a pointed glare.

Esme said from the kitchen, "Jasper's right, Rose. Leah can walk well enough now to where she should be allowed to go see her friends and spend time with them."

"Really?" My spirits shot up in a heartbeat as it became a real possibility to go home. Jasper was onto something.

"Of course, honey. Carlisle tends to be overprotective of the people he cares about. You can't let that stop you all the time. I certainly don't." She flipped the steak, its delicious smell swirling through the air. "But I would get going before Carlisle gets back, if I were you."

Rosalie chimed, "Ask for forgiveness, not permission."

"But call me hourly, so we know you're ok," Esme added with a concerned note to her sweet voice.

Esme really was Carlisle's better half. "I promise I'll call," I responded, pleased as could be. Eight was the magic number, after all. Not three. I'd gotten shot down pretty hard when I'd tried to leave on day three of recovery. "Seth, you comin'?"

"Aw, but Esme's making me a steak," he said and pouted up at me. He usually jumped to follow me around. I was glad that the annoying phase had finally ended. "Can you wait until it's done and I can take it with us? I don't want you going out alone." Never mind.

"No, I'm not waiting. I'll see you when I get back."

Seth started to get up then. "Ok, I'll eat it when we get back."

"Bear-Master, will you allow The Pup to leave without having a proper match?" I asked, shooting Emmett a pleading look when Seth had to take his eyes off of me to glance back at him.

Lucky for me, he got the message loud and clear. "I will _not_! Now, get outside so we don't destroy Esme's antiques!"

Seth's mouth pulled into a boyish grin that gave away all his excitement. He couldn't resist the challenge. "Ah, fine! Leah, I'll catch up!"

"Ok, dork. See ya." He shot over and gave me a hug that made me groan in protest. He gave me a peck on the cheek before sprinting after Emmett into the backyard.

Rosalie glowered as she watched the two of them start wrestling around out in the grass. "Thanks a lot, Leah. It's so nice being ignored by my husband so he can pretend to be a pro wrestler in the backyard with a fourteen-year-old."

I ignored her sarcasm and smiled as I said, "You're very welcome." She just scoffed and started channel-surfing. I turned to the other blonde in the room, knowing he was listening even if he looked busy reading his book. "Jasper, you're my favorite Cullen. Thank you."

Jasper shot me a wry smile and waved goodbye before I turned and dashed for the door. I barely remembered to grab my keys as I went. Sam had brought my car over a few days ago and that was the same day Rosalie spent all night fixing it up for me. She'd claimed that she couldn't stand the sight of it and props to her for saving me hundreds of dollars in repairs. My van actually looked like a van again instead of something you'd see as a movie prop for a disaster scene.

It felt so good to hear the familiar click of my car doors unlocking. I peeled out of their driveway in record time and hightailed it out of there. I only slowed down when I remembered what was waiting for me back home. My mom hadn't visited yet and that was a warning if I'd ever seen one. If I showed up on her doorstep, she'd execute me, medieval style.

The next best place I could think of going other than home was Emily's, but then that ran the risk running into the pack. I doubted they were as sympathetic toward me as Sam had tried to paint them. None of them had visited.

When it became clear that I had nowhere else to go, I drove to La Push beach. No one was there, so I decided that it was the perfect time to try and relax. I planted myself in the sand and tried not to think about Edward. I failed fifteen times in three minutes.

It was a relief when Emily found me on the beach. Claire was with her and she ran over the second she saw me. I picked her up because there was no way I was going to deny her when she reached up and listened to her talk. She had so much to tell me about school and her doll and Quil. She talked a _lot_ about Quil and how much she loved him and how funny he was. I got jealous.

I wished Edward was two.

Claire sat in my lap while we all had a picnic at the beach, enjoying the outdoors. In the middle of Emily talking about Sam and Jared's arguments, Claire got distracted. She spotted a seashell she thought was pretty and ran off to go get it. Emily held a hand over her eyes as a makeshift visor against the sun, peering after the little princess. Claire had her hair in pigtails that day since I guessed her parents were trying to kill the world with how adorable she was.

"Don't go into the water and stay where I can see you, please!" Emily called after her before turning to me. The sun shined in a way that cast odd shadows along her scars, making them seem even deeper than they were. "So, tell me what it is."

"What?" I asked squinting against the sunlight. The clouds had cleared away out of nowhere. I wondered if Edward was in a place where he was safe and shielded from the unexpectedly sunny day.

"Oh, please, Leah. I've known you all my life and I know all your faces. You were moping until you saw us." She smiled and put a hand on my leg as she handed me another sandwich. "Wait, don't tell me. Let me guess."

I took a bite of the egg salad sandwich and grumbled, "Sure."

"It's Edward, isn't it?"

I sighed and looked out at the water, wishing I could swim away with the tide. "It's everything, Em. It's Edward, it's me, it's the pack. I don't even know what I'm doing on Quileute land. I'm not sure I belong here anymore."

"Stop that. You're still ours, no matter how much time you spend around them." She wrapped her arm around me and I let my head fall onto her shoulder.

Emily was the one person who could kind of understand the bad situation with me and Edward. It made it easier to talk to her about it. "I hate feeling this way, I hate being out of control. This is all so stupid and complicated and I can't even do anything about it. That's the worst part, the uselessness. I only hurt him, make his life hell." I pressed my lips together hard, biting down on them. I had to wait for the guilt to ease up on me so I could speak again. "We've only spoken a few times and it's not like any of our talks have gone well, but I...miss him. I wish I didn't miss someone else's boyfriend, but I do."

"So, we're talking about Edward then?"

I nodded, puffing out a deep breath. "He hated my guts, but after the whole dying incident, he can at least say he doesn't want me dead. Not because he cares about me, but because he cares about himself."

"That's not true. He cares."

I sat up, the frustration I'd been boxing away for days peeking out through the cracks. "How would you know? You can't know. It's hell on earth trying to connect with him. I never know what to say to him, Emily. Nothing that seems like it's the right thing _is_ the right thing, it just makes him grimace—ugh, I hate that grimace! What the hell am I supposed to say to him that'll make him stop doing that?"

Emily patted my side in a comforting gesture and I let the sound of the waves washing up against the shore calm me. She only spoke when I glanced up at her. "I was in Edward's position once, sort of, so I may be able to give legitimate advice to your rhetorical questions." She was calm, deadly so. Emily never wavered when I came to her for help or advice, she was always there for me.

I loved her for that. "Ok, lay it on me."

"It's hard having to be the one who's going to break someone you love's heart, but the decision is always clear. There's never any real doubt about where we belong in the world, or who we belong with. Whatever ties you to us, ties us right back to you guys. It's the most amazing thing. It's this inescapable truth that we've found a piece of ourselves that we never even knew we were searching for." She eyed the sandwich in my hand that was practically untouched. It was hard to eat, I was so sad about Edward. Imprinting made me such a wimp. "Give it time, he'll come around."

"That's it? That's your advice? Wait for the unchanging, immortal vampire?" Carlisle had told me all about how vampires never changed and how if they did, they changed forever.

If I'd changed Edward, all I'd done was give him a greater capacity to hate people.

"Well, I also gave you a bit of insight into what he's feeling, but sure, let's ignore that," she said with a bit of a pout. She held her hand to my cheek before putting choppy strands of my hair back behind my ear. "Ok, cuz. If he asks for space, give it to him, but never be too far because he'll call you back. Until he asks for that space, be there, every day, by his side. Even if he won't admit it yet, it's what he wants. Whenever it gets awkward, don't let it be."

"How do I not 'let it be'?" I asked, using exaggerated air quotes.

She scratched her arm and flicked a glance at Claire when she squealed. "When Sam and I were still friends, every time I would get a little scared or feel bad about you, he'd crack a joke. It would always be the cheesiest thing I've ever heard and it'd always make me laugh or smile. Find something Edward likes and bring it up in silences. You have to use your imprint's likes and hobbies as your sword and shield in a case like this." Emily had always found Dad jokes hilarious in a completely un-ironic way. I'd forgotten about that little quirk.

"Ok, I can do that." It sounded simple enough to me, especially since I'd been snooping around Edward's things like it was my job. I had _some_ idea of his interests. "But what about Bella? He always trashes me to make it clear how he's so in love with her. It sucks."

"It's self-defense. Let him know he doesn't need to feel like he has to choose—"

"But what if she makes him?" What if he chose her?

Emily put her hand over mine from where I was squishing the poor, uneaten sandwich in my lap. "She won't."

"How can you be so certain? It's what I'd do in her position."

She smiled again, but it lacked any actual cheer. "She knows about me and Sam. She knows how I chose him even though I love you like you're my own sister. She won't make him choose."

"By the way, why _did_ you choose Sam?"

"What d'you mean? He imprinted and I love him, too. It's natural," she explained like I didn't already know.

I pulled my hand out from hers and said, "Imprinting doesn't mean you have to fall in love." Emily smiled again, but it was different. I felt like I was seven again and the adults were about to tell me I'd understand when I was a grown-up. "Em, I'm serious. If it's always romantic, what about Quil and Claire?"

"The person who's been imprinted on can't help but love their shapeshifter with everything they have. Claire doesn't think about those kinds of things, she's two—almost three. She loves Quil like she loves her mom or her dad because that's the deepest love she knows, Leah. Familial love. I doubt it'll change when she grows up because familial love is now the bedrock of their relationship."

I guessed that made sense. But was that really true? If you imprinted on an adult, it always turned romantic? "That can't be true for everyone."

"The imprint is pulled toward them, loving the shapeshifter is easier than breathing. And once the imprint loves them back, which they're bound to, it's only a matter of time."

"Until what?"

"Until you return the everything of themselves that they give you with the everything of yourself. Unconditional love is irresistible and once you love back, the bond only deepens. Claire and Quil went from best friends to bonafide family. Sam and I went from friends to falling in love to wanting to spend the rest of our lives with each other. I love Sam and having his love is a privilege I don't deserve." She started wringing her hands and she avoided my gaze. "If anything I've said makes you wanna hate me again—"

"Emily, that's done. I'm never hating you again." I dropped the stupid sandwich so I could take her hands in mine. "You're my sister, mistakenly born into the next family over."

Her eyes grew shiny, catching the light of the sun, and the smile she gave me trembled a bit. "I don't ever wanna lose you again, so next time scream at me when you're mad, ok? Be angry at me and then get it over with so we can be best friends again."

"Got it, I'll definitely do that. It actually sounds fun." She snickered and then sniffed, blinking away the extra shine in her eyes. And she just _had_ to hug me again because she was a touchy-feely person.

I was patting her back when she mentioned, "I also used to grimace whenever I saw Sam. And whenever I cared about him and it came through, I'd bring you up to try and nullify it."

I pulled back fast. "Seriously?" Emily smiled at my reaction, looking pleased with herself.

"See? I _told_ you I sorta knew. When I first started cooking for Sam, he got all excited. That scared me, so I said I was only doing it because it annoyed me when his stomach growled. I told him it didn't mean anything, but it did. It always does."

My last interaction with Edward started to look very different. "Would you also worry about him?"

"Always. I'd tell him to make sure no one could catch him phasing and then try to belittle my concern. I'd say it was for his mom's sake or yours, that neither of you needed to bear the weight of that knowledge." She had a knowing gleam in her eye. She'd hit the nail on the head and she knew it. "That's the first step. The next step can come fast or slow depending on how much time you spend with each other."

"And what's the next step?" Suddenly, Emily was the wisest woman in the world and her every word was pure gold.

She tapped her chin as she thought about it, remembering her own experience. "For me and Sam, it was timid, flighty friendship. But Sam says you and Edward are different than we were. Just from the way he reacted when you were hurt, Sam said he could tell you two have an extremely powerful connection."

"But after the friendship step did you two become family or fall in—?"

"He hurt me before we could get to the next step. Usually, when one or the other's life is threatened in an imprint bond, it speeds things along. Your imprint is tough to be holding out the way he is." Her gaze turned sympathetic and she patted my arm again. "Hang in there because it can all change really fast. I mean, even right up to when Sam lost control, I was still insulting him. Remember? I said—"

"He was just like his father. Oh my God, that's _right_." My imprint was… _normal_?

Edward grimacing and struggling for all his worth? Normal. Edward saying every hurtful thing he could think of to get me to go away? Normal. Edward seeming like he might care one second and then like he hated my guts the next? Normal! It was all normal, but I hadn't connected the dots because—

"I've been talking to a bunch of stupid vampires about imprinting instead of actual imprints!" I flopped down onto my back and Emily laughed. She rubbed my stomach and gave it a pat before I propped myself up on my elbows. "I love you now. Forever."

"Oh! Happy to help!" She laughed again and I had to laugh with her. She'd always had this funny, hiccupy laughter that was super contagious. I needed a laugh after the week I'd had. I wrapped my arms around Emily, locking her into a tight hug as a reward for being the best.

We went on to talk about more normal things as we watched over Claire. She hated her boss but still ended up inviting her to the wedding because she was a pushover. But she got three whole weeks off for her honeymoon because of it, so she wasn't too upset. I talked about what it was like getting all the leftover traces of venom out of my blood since it had time to spread far. It was like tiny flames in my veins were being put out with every blood transplant. And when we were thinking of other things to talk about, we watched Claire play and run away from the tide as it rushed in.

Seeing how cute she was, I had to ask, "Do you think you and Sam are gonna have kids?"

"Definitely—and lots of 'em. One time, he joked that he wanted to have three per arm so that when he lifted them up and spun, he could be a human swing ride. We joked about that one for a while, but I do think we'll have at least four kids." She had a huge smile on her face at the thought of her future. I hated that I'd ever robbed her of that joy. "What about you? How many kids do you want?"

Her question was a stab to the heart. It took me a moment to realize she was being serious and not cruel. I was so used to the pack's cruelty about it. "Emily, I can't have kids."

"What—why in the world do you think that?" She looked genuinely rattled by the old news and I realized no one in the pack had told her. I mean, I didn't know why they would've, but I'd always assumed Sam told her everything.

"My period stopped when I started phasing. And aren't warm places the place where sperm goes to die or something?"

She shook her head. "No, they thrive in warm and wet places. Y'know, because they're made to endure the journey to the uterus." She sat up and I let go of her so she could face me. "Y'know, I think you probably have a very friendly womb because you've always been way nicer than you let on."

"That was a weird sentence," I grumbled.

"Wasn't it? It sounded so much better in my head." She laughed and I joined in easily. "Well, you never know. With your bond a bit weaker, you may be able to find people attractive again. Imagine if you're the first shapeshifter to fall in love with someone other than their imprint. You'd be even more special than you already are. And if you get married, you don't know, you could get pregnant."

"Maybe." To be fair, I hadn't tried yet. I wasn't sure what would happen if I did.

Emily smiled at me, a secretive gleam in her eyes. "What do you think yours and Edward's children would look like?"

"Emily, don't." She raised her eyebrows but didn't carry on. "Why are you so supportive of me anyway? You know he's a cold one."

"It's easy," she claimed and looked like she meant it. "I'm just happy you're back in my life. It's the same with Sam, he missed you as his best friend. We'll put up with just about anything to keep you in our lives this time."

"Claire!"

Claire looked up from where she was making a rudimentary sand castle and all of her lit up. "Qwil!" And there Quil was, scooping her up into his bulky arms in seconds. I did my best not to hate him for getting to be with his imprint, failing for a few seconds before Emily pinched my arm.

"Look more friendly," she whispered to me before standing up and dusting herself off. He hadn't seen me yet, too focused on his imprint to see anyone else. "Hey, Quil. How was the dentist?"

"Fine. But now it's an awesome day because I get to spend it with Claire-bear!" He turned to look at Emily while Claire was still giggling, going all bug-eyed when he saw me. "Leah!" He ran over and pulled me up into an awkward side-hug. "Whoa, I owe Embry twenty bucks. He called it that you'd be here today. I thought it'd take you the full two weeks, but you're a total sucker for punishment!"

"Glad everyone was making money off of my pain," I commented in a snide tone, pushing out of the physical contact. I only got all touchy-feely with Emily because she'd made it a habit a long time ago. Same with Seth.

"Aw, don't be like that, Lee. Everyone actually missed you—even Paul. We all know he's a sucker for a good fight and you always gave it as good as you got." Claire hugged him tight as he stood there, grinning at me like a lunatic. Quil continued, "It's honestly so great to see you. Emily's pretty and all, but your face is like a cleanser for having to stare Jared's ugly mug all day."

I crossed my arms. "You haven't asked me _once_ about how I'm doing."

"I know you're alright since you're here. Anyway, Paul kept saying stupid things and we would wait for you to jump on him before remembering you were gone. He's been on a roll since you left and even Jared's annoyed with him. Seth is mopey a lot now because of it. So, yesterday I went to Jake's to ask him to give Paul a real beatdown and set him straight." My heart leaped in my chest and my arms fell back to my sides. "What? Did I say something weird?"

"No, no. Just tell me what Jake said."

Quil sighed over top of Claire singing a soft song of nonsense under breath as she worked to climb him. His hand hovered protectively behind her in case she fell or lost her balance. "He wasn't there. Billy said he's been going to Bella's early every morning and staying late every night. But I did learn something."

"What?" I couldn't have asked faster.

"He's leaving."

Immediately, I was irritated. He was leaving? That was so ambiguous—that could've meant anything! Was he leaving forever? Was he taking Bella? Would Edward be going with them? It just gave me a million more questions that no one had any answers for.

"Qwil! Be my howse! I wanna pway howsey!" Claire demanded from his shoulders.

"You got it, sunshine! Look, Leah, I'll talk to ya later—but you should go see the others. We all miss you and Jake." With that, Quil galloped off, whinnying as Claire squealed in glee.

Emily chuckled, watching them go. "Well, that officially takes me out of the equation of Claire's day. Hey, wanna come back to mine? I'll cook you your favorite meal and we can watch a slasher movie, or see what new horror film is out in theaters and go see it."

"Yes, all of the above. Anything to distract me from my life right now." I ran a hand through my hair, noting the dull throb of my ribs. It wasn't as bad as I'd expected it to be for missing my afternoon dose of meds.

We gathered up everything from the picnic and I rode with Emily back to hers. Hanging out with her was always fun, but it was even more fun than usual that day. She would remember things she'd done while we were still in a rut with our relationship and get all excited to tell me. Emily had tried to help Kim learn to make blueberry pancakes since she was sick of having to cook for everyone. It was an experience that she referred to as, "The Blueberry Debacle".

Though I could laugh along and enjoy her stories, most of me was still devoted to thinking about Edward. I didn't know what would happen between us, but I had a tiny glimmer of hope. Regardless of Emily's claim about loving deeply and blah-blah-blah—I didn't care. I didn't want anything beyond friendship with Edward and I wouldn't hurt him by even _thinking_ about more.

Our plan to go to the theatre fell through after she fed me and I got drowsy for the first time all week. Emily was cool about it, though, saying she didn't want to go out anyway. She even drew a bath for me since my midsection was all swollen and irritated.

"I guess Carlisle was right, you're not all the way healed yet," Emily said, frowning at the scar on my chest. Her frown deepened at the sight of my many, many bruises. "He really did a number on you."

"Yep," I agreed as I took off my socks.

"But he also saved you, so I'm forever indebted to him." She watched me sink into the bubbles and I gave her a smile before I closed my eyes. "Would you be pissed if I left the house for a bit? I need to talk to Allison about being a little too hands-on with the wedding planning process. I had to cancel an order for five neon yellow bridesmaid dresses yesterday."

"What? You mean you _don't_ love neon yellow bridesmaid dresses?" I asked in mock shock, making her smile.

"Not really, no," she whispered, bringing her hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose. Her phone started ringing then and she let out a long, guttural groan. "Speak of the devil! I should be so lucky to have someone as mild-tempered as Esme be my mother-in-law, even with the whole cold one detail." She got up from the edge of the tub and went for the door.

I sighed and said, "See ya."

"Yeah. Call if you need me and I've already made up the guest room for you. Stay over as long as you want." With that, she closed the door. And she answered her phone. "Allison, I'm not changing my mind. No…no… What? No!" And then the front door closed. She'd be talking with Sam's mom for a while if I knew either of them at all.

I slumped down, my chin dipping into the hot water she'd filled with bath salts and soothing herbs. Hopeful for better things for the first time in a while, I was able to relax. I slept so hard that I didn't even dream.

When I woke back up, the bubbles were all gone and the water was cool. I climbed out and found that the scar across my chest had vanished. The rest of my bruises were gone, too. As I'd thought, it had been as simple as sleeping so my body could heal. Dr. Cullen was wrong, after all.

Sometimes, it _was_ that simple, _Carlisle_. I couldn't wait to rub it in his face later back home.

Wait, no, not home. His home—not _my_ home. My home was on Quileute land with Seth and my mom. And now I was sure I needed to visit home. Ideally, before I accidentally called Esme "Mom" or something and things got weird.

I borrowed some of Emily's clothes since we were about the same size and slipped out to run to my mom's. It had gotten colder since I was last out and the sun had started setting. It was well into its last blaze of glory; the golden hour beamed over everything, casting it in gold. I thought of pleasant things and Edward's eyes on my way home.

My stomach quivered when I saw my mom's car was actually parked in the driveway. She wasn't working. I stopped in my place, debating on running before she could see me. I didn't make a decision in time. The front door was thrown open and my Mom stepped out onto the porch, her arms crossed, eyes red with exhaustion. My breath got stuck in my throat. The word "abort" flashed in red behind my eyelids every time I blinked.

"My prodigal daughter's returned," she said, speaking first since I was busy trying not to crap my pants. How could she be more terrifying than raging newborns? "Welcome home."

"Did Sam tell you what happened?" I was hoping he hadn't. Maybe dying would earn me a free pass.

"As a matter of fact, he did. I had to hear from Sam that my only daughter was dying in a cold one's house." Her nostrils flared and I knew she was ready to rip into me as she'd never done before. I couldn't even blame her, I would be the same exact way in her position. "Why? Why wouldn't you come home?"

I straightened my spine, gathering up the courage to say what I wanted. "I didn't think I was welcome home. You were awful to me the last time I saw you—and I didn't have a choice anyway. I couldn't speak." She continued her chilling stare. "I saw Dad when I died."

"What?" She whispered her question, uncrossing her arms.

"I didn't really see him. I heard him. He told me to go home. So, I'm sorry for taking so long."

She ran off the porch and almost tackled me in a hug, squeezing me surprisingly tight for being purely human. I made sure not to hug her back as tightly as I wanted, not willing to risk fracturing one of her ribs.

All was forgiven.

It was always so funny to me how she could be so irate and then still love me as much as she did. I always thought it wasn't a mom-thing, like how having eyes in the back of your head was, but it wasn't. It was a unique Clearwater trait to be able to hug the person you also wanted to kill.

"I got over being angry the hour I left for work, Leah," she said after a while, her voice thick the way it always was when she was trying not to cry. "I was scared for the rest of the time. I let my fear talk me out of calling because I didn't want to hear they were hurting you. There wouldn't have been anything I could do to stop it. And when I heard what happened to you at the battle, I—" Her voice cut out and she tightened her hold on me. "I was ashamed. Much too ashamed to call."

"Don't ever be ashamed." I pulled back just enough to where I could meet her eyes. She needed to see that I meant what I was about to say. "I admire and respect you the most out of any other woman in the world."

Mom stroked my hair out of my face and then pulled me into another hug. We never hugged. Not even when Sam dumped me. Not even when Dad died. So, this hug meant a hell of a lot more than anything either of us could've said.

"Please, don't wait so long to come to me next time. Ok?"

"Ok."

We went inside and she cooked me more food I gladly ate. I even stole Seth's cookies that Lana had made him and dropped off earlier that day in hopes of seeing him. Of all people, my little brother was getting the reputation of being a lady-killer at school. As for our mom's drama, she was competing for a promotion with a guy who she couldn't stand. It was fun to see her rant and rave about it. It was good to be home.

At some point, I got a niggling feeling like I was supposed to be doing something. Actually, it felt like I'd _forgotten_ to do something. Since I couldn't figure out what it was, I figured it wasn't important. I brushed off the feeling to listen to my mom explain how she was going to crush her competitor for the promotion.

Had I mentioned that it was good to be home?

"Sleep here tonight," Mom said sometime after sunset. She'd caught me staring out the window, debating how much longer I should stay.

I was about to reject her offer until I realized I didn't have a reason to. I wasn't sure why I'd had the impulse to say no at all. Why wouldn't I stay home for one night?

"Leah Clearwater! You owe me a fight!"

Oh, that was right. The pack. More specifically, Paul Lahote. Paul Lahote was the reason.

Mom looked miffed by Paul's shouted taunts and ready to say something, but I waved her off. I could handle Paul all by myself. So, I stepped outside, letting the screen door swing shut behind me as I stood on the compact porch. I crossed my arms tight of my chest, keeping my stance just in case he decided to do something crazy. He got bolder when it was dark and it was that colorful time right between day and night.

What was it called again? Whatever, it didn't matter.

"I don't owe you anything, idiot. And speaking of idiocy, I heard you were giving Seth a hard time from Quil."

Paul stood tall in his grey shorts. They were his special winner shorts. He'd worn them one time before taking Sam off guard and getting him on the ground. "So what if I was teasing your dorky brother, traitor? What are you gonna do about it?"

"I'm gonna beat you senseless." A tremor ran through me, harsher than I remembered after a little more than a week of not feeling it. "Twice, since Jake isn't here to do it himself and I'm feeling a sense of camaraderie today."

Paul threw off his shirt and my mom sighed, coming outside instead of watching from the window. She walked off the porch with me but stepped way over to the side to observe the fight. She knew the only person who could actually stop us was Sam and even he probably couldn't at this point.

Paul really had it coming to him this time.

Another tremor rocked me, heating me up to the point to where steam was rising off of me in the cold air. My breath came out in puffs of pure white. Paul started growling, the sound low and reverberating in my chest as he blurred he was quaking so hard.

"You sure you wanna do this, Clearwater?" He asked, his voice deeper from all his growling. "Won't your little owies slow you down?"

"Keep talkin', Lahote. It just pisses me off more."

A moment passed and then we broke into a sprint, charging for each other. The wind whizzed past my ears and I let out a roar that came from deep within my chest. Paul's growling made my ears ring. His eyes were rabid, hungry, but I was _starving_ for a fight. He raised a fist and I got ready to throw up a knee into his side when he swung, leaving himself vulnerable. But something stopped us from colliding.

A flash of white.


	7. Chapter 7

### Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.

"Leah, are you alright?" Cold hands cupped my shoulders and a bittersweet aroma surrounded me.

"Edward?" I uttered his name, but I still couldn't believe it was him until I opened my eyes.

I didn't know how or why, but he was there, in one piece and the same clothes he'd worn to the newborn battle. I took his shirt in my hands, bunching it up, wrinkling the expensive fabric. It didn't feel real, I was still waiting for the effect of seeing him, for the bond to pull taut.

It didn't.

The love didn't rush forward, only a fraction of it spilling out at the sight of him. It was like the rest was stuck behind a dam, so close but unreachable. An itch I couldn't scratch would've been a dream compared to this.

The matter of the bond could wait, though. I was more interested in why Edward was even on Quileute land. Eight days and he magically popped up exactly where I was? What were the odds of that?

He was looking me over with a bit of a frown as he answered, "Esme called." Very high odds, then. "Very high. Especially once Carlisle called me in a panic. I couldn't bring myself to ignore that."

"Something to know about me is when I don't answer, I'm fine. It's when I answer that you should worry, or suspect that it's not me on—" I cut off in mid-thought.

There was something else on his scent. Something bad.

I leaned in and took a deep sniff, shocked by the tang of familiar blood. Jacob's blood. A fragile smile worked itself onto his face at my realization, one that looked close to breaking. Before I could even think of what to ask, motion in my peripheral caught my eye.

I let go of Edward, stepping away to see Paul had righted himself from getting tossed to the side like a rag-doll. He started to charge again, but not at me. At Edward.

Protective mode switched on, still healthy despite the state of the bond.

I gave Edward a gentle push to the side and then sprinted to meet Paul in the middle. At the last second, before we crashed into each other, I jumped. I landed a drop-kick square in Paul's chest before he could phase. He went flying as I spun, land on my knees and forearms. He flew straight into the tree Seth and I had climbed all the time when we were both kids. It gave the telltale crack of a broken tree. I was hoping my mom hadn't heard because—

"You rowdy wolves! That tree was older than you two combined!" My mom called from the sidelines, already ticked off with me again.

I'd only just gotten back into her good graces. God, I was going to _kill_ Paul. "I'll plant a new one, Mom. I'll water it with Paul's blood." I held my fists up and kicked off Emily's crocs.

Paul groaned and tried to get up, only to fall flat on his face. He needed a second before he'd be ready again.

I glanced over at Edward in my free time and caught him staring with an expression I couldn't determine. "You ok?" I asked him, bouncing on the balls of my feet.

"Yes. Keep your eyes on your opponent." He nodded over to where Paul was lying and I looked over to find he was already back on his knees, a grimace on his dirty face.

"You can smell it, too! I know you can!" He shouted, shaking and pointing at Edward like he was some sort of alien. That pissed me off more than anything else he'd said. "He killed him!"

I rolled my eyes. "He's killed no one. At best, he gave Jake the punch in the mouth that he's done his level best to earn."

"I have a right to fight him! It's—it's reasonable cause!"

I busted out laughing, only stopping to ask, "It's _what?"_

"Reasonable cause! It's a real thing!"

"Yeah, sure, in the _IRS!"_

He bared his teeth, his face red underneath the dirt all over his face. "Enough! Let's end this!"

Paul turned around and yanked down his shorts, much to my disgust. At least he'd turned around. Out of everyone, Paul was the worst about accidental flashing in the pack. He'd forget I was a woman and phase back without thinking after a run. I could've drawn Paul like he was a French girl from memory alone.

Lucky for me, he didn't moon me for very long, shaking out into his wolf form. I sighed when he turned around, his big black eyes expectant.

"Don't do it," Edward ordered from the side as soon as I thought of phasing. "It's not worth it."

"Defending my imprint's honor isn't worth it?" I couldn't let what that idiot had said stand. If I was going to break again, then I might as well break Paul in the process. It was a noble cause. "I disagree."

It took three tries. The first two were unsuccessful because it was hard to be angry. Edward was a few feet away, back after eight days without contact and even if it wasn't what I'd imagined, it was good. In a different, new way. I had to close my eyes for the boiling heat in the pit of my stomach to finally erupt.

Carlisle was sort of right. The microscopic levels of venom in my system made me feel a bit achy, but then it easily sizzle out of my veins. A searing release freed my body to move like it used to. I could finally the stretch muscles that had been threatening to atrophy. So, we'd both been right in a way... But I was more right.

Leah, two. Carlisle, zero.

 _Oh, I'm gonna mess you the hell up, Lahote!_ My body was a well-oiled machine as I crouched down on my four legs, all of them in sync.

If I hadn't healed before, I was definitely all healed up now.

 _New rule! If I win, he's banished!_ Paul thought with a level of excitement that should've caused foam to pour out of his mouth.

The two of us fought, hard. Blood was shed for the sake of honor, for respect. Edward watched from a distance with my mom who stood a good few feet away from him. With him watching, I couldn't lose. I gave it all I had, having no mercy on my pack-mate. Needless to say, all the blood was Paul's.

 _Stop worrying about your impressing your corpse and fight me for real!_ Paul demanded.

No one else seemed to was phased with us and I preferred it that way. No distraction and no intervention. Two golden rules for a good fight.

_You won't be able to see straight after I'm done with you!_

_Probably not since you're planning on_ blinding _me!_ I thought back, furious that he was already thinking of playing dirty.

Sure enough, he kicked up dirt, aiming for my eyes. Sharing a mind screwed him over, though, and I evaded it without any trouble. I kicked his flank as payback, earning a whimper out of him. In return, he bit my leg hard enough to where I couldn't put all my weight on it. It slowed me down, but still not enough to give him an advantage. Not one he knew how to use, anyway.

It wasn't exactly an easy fight—Paul fought like a hellhound on PCP—but it was a fast one. In the end, fighting with each other while phased always came down to speed and reflexes. Paul was never going to win against me because I could act on my attacks faster than he could think of a way to thwart them.

He phased back after I pinned him and I stood over him to protect my mom's eyes. Even though it was dark, I didn't want to take any chances when it was my mom's eyes at stake.

Paul got the idea. "Can you hand me my shorts, Mrs. Clearwater?" He asked, seething beneath me.

"Here, boy." Mom threw Paul's grey shorts back at him and he caught them without looking. He was too busy glaring at me.

"For the record, I would've had you ten times over if you weren't such a coward and avoided my blows," Paul grumbled. He shimmied into the shorts on the ground and then pushed me back by my muzzle and got up, dusting himself off.

I bumped him with my nose. He knew what he had to do.

"I'll apologize to Seth later." I bumped him again. "Jeez, whaddya want from me? Collin, too. I'll apologize to him, too." A growl started to build in my chest and Paul pushed my muzzle again. "Fine. I'll roll out the welcome wagon. It's not like it could wait until _tomorrow_ or something."

I turned around, whacking him in the face with my tail as I went back to the house. He cursed under his breath before he started walking over to Edward. It was time to own up to his loss, something he'd learned to be good at.

Fighting was the only way to make Paul properly recognize his douchebaggery in an official way. You make a bet with Paul and fight him, that was it, the only solution. The longer you took to get it over with, the more of a horror he became. Only people he respected could do the honor, though, so I was starting to believe what Sam had been saying all week. The pack may have actually missed me. I imagined it got real quiet after both Jacob and I left.

"Embry'll wanna see you, Leah," Paul called out after me as I strutted to the backdoor. He apologized to my mom and let her smack him across the back of his head before addressing Edward. "If any others give you trouble, I dunno. Lemme know, I guess."

I phased back fast just to ask, "What're you gonna do, Paul? Make a bet with them and lose again?"

"Shut up, Leah!" He shouted at me and I snickered as I stepped into the house. "Anyway, lemme know. And, uh, I'll talk with Sam about dissolving the treaty so your family doesn't have to worry about the boundary line. I heard Jared gave a blonde one grief about it."

"Jasper," Edward informed him. "Thank you, Paul."

Paul gritted his teeth as he ran off in a tantrum. Fair was fair, though. He'd lost. Thinking about it, I should have put even _more_ terms on the fight, but hindsight was twenty-twenty.

I wasted no time in getting dressed, not even stopping to turn the lights on. One breath told me Seth had been watering my for me, using the instructions I'd set for each pot. Also, my mom had slept in my bed the night before. She'd brought in Dad's sweatshirt that she still sprayed with his cologne every couple of days.

Sucked knowing that even if I'd died I would have still hurt everyone I loved. It wasn't surprising, but it still sucked. Whether I was around or not, I would always be an effective tool to make everyone else's lives worse. Per usual.

I was almost done buttoning up my shirt when I heard my mom start speaking to Edward. "Paul's animosity toward your kind wasn't misplaced. Our ancestors, out of every enemy they had, hated you the most. If it wasn't for your own cold one ancestors, our tribe would be a peaceful one."

"I cannot undo what others before me have done. I, myself, have made many mistakes that I have not the ability to rewrite. Allow me to offer my deepest apologies for any troubles my kind has brought upon you. I'm so very sorry." His voice was silk, a song of sincerity and beauty. I wasn't even mad at him and I wanted to forgive him.

My mom sighed, which was a good sign. It meant she was losing steam. "Fine. Let's talk about something else." Thank God. "My son murdered someone at your order. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Oh, for God's _sake!_

"It's one of the worst things I've ever done. My intention was never to turn children into killers," Edward told her, pausing when I almost fell down the stairs in my hurry. "If I'd known how shapeshifters were made, I would have told Carlisle to never come here again, I swear it. And I offer my condolences with a heavy heart about Leah's father, your husband. It saddens me deeply to see a family suffer."

My mom grunted as I hopped down the last of the stairs, yanking my pants up in midair. "I blame an ancient bad judgment for the curse of my bloodline, not you cold ones. I do expect an apology for Leah, though. Her death is on your hands."

It was a few lithe steps out of the house and off of the small, cramped porch to get between him and my mom. "Mom, stop."

"I'm not doing anything," she dared to say and then put a thin, strained smile on her face. "Should I invite him inside?"

Like she'd _ever_ let him inside. "No, it's fine. We're leaving."

He and I had a lot to talk about. But it had to happen somewhere far away from the reserve. People were guiltier of eavesdropping on the reserve than of breathing. It was insane.

Mom nodded, lips twisting into a disapproving frown that had plagued my adolescence. The shadows caused by the night made it seem even more severe than usual.

I didn't have to listen to her thoughts to know what they were about. "I'll be back, Mom. Soon, this time. I promise."

She sniffed and leaned around me to tell Edward, "Next time my daughter's incapacitated, bring her _home._ "

"I will, Mrs. Clearwater," he said, smiling in a way that made me wonder how she hadn't already melted all over our driveway. But then he sobered, his eyes becoming intense, unnatural. "And I will never let what happened to Leah happen again. As long as I walk this earth, she will be safe."

"Good," Mom said, sniffing and uncrossing her arms. "Take care, Leah. By soon, I infer this week." She turned on her heel and headed back inside. I listened to her sit down to watch TV before I faced Edward again.

I stared at Edward, trying to piece together what had just happened. How in the world had that not ended in a big, explosive, nine-hour argument? The denominator was clear and also beyond surprising. Edward. So, he _had_ charmed her somewhat.

Wow.

"Your mother is a kind woman," Edward commented, his posture rigid as he stood opposite of me.

"You only say that because you haven't been on her bad side yet."

"I hope to never be," he said and then fell silent.

I clasped my hands in front of me, then behind myself, then I placed them on my hips. Why couldn't I figure out what to with my hands now? Everything seemed so stupid. I thought I saw something on his face like a smile for a moment, but it was just a trick of the moonlight.

"So," I started, giving a brief scan of the area. "I guess we should go. We can go in your car and I'll have Emily bring mine back to your place." We could talk once we were away from the nosy pack.

I wouldn't have been surprised if they were listening in right then.

"They are."

I wasn't even disappointed. You had to not expect something, to have some hope it wouldn't happen to be disappointed. "Of course. My car's back at—"

"We'll take mine." He started walking, fast. I followed, barely managing to collect Emily's crocs and throw them on _and_ keep up while in my human form.

The silver Volvo was off the side of a road in a patch of grass, crooked with the driver's seat door still open. I stopped at the sight of it. It was impossible to ignore, my mind immediately jumped to the only conclusion.

Edward had panicked over me.

With the soft beeping of his car, he murmured, "I was only concerned you would get yourself killed again. Your death would have caused me more pain."

"Ok." I was smiling as he unlocked the doors, walking over to my side. He surprised me by opening my door for me.

"Habit," he claimed.

I decided to tease him, to try and make light of things for once. "One more time and it'll be a pattern. And vampires are unchanging, right?" There was the tiniest twitch of his lips before he shut my door.

Edward flashed into the driver's seat, not bothering with buckling up before he put the car into reverse. The sound of the door shutting came as he was turning us around to leave.

He turned on some music as we raced down the empty roads, no traffic around for a few miles. He pitched it at a low volume after a second. "Is this alright?"

"Yup. I like this artist."

"You kept busy," he said offhandedly. "Did you enjoy snooping through my things?" The cat was out of the bag. "Very much so."

Since I couldn't lie anyway, I told him, "It wasn't like that. I missed you." That shut him up.

We assumed a purposeful silence, waiting out the unwelcome listeners. My leg started bouncing with my impatience and I kept throwing looks Edward's way for the sign we were good. It felt like an eternity before he met my eyes and gave me a nod.

I spoke plainly. "Before you start, I need to say something. When you see something like that happening, you have to stay out of it, Edward. It's a pack matter and I can handle myself."

"I saw."

"Sorry about that." He threw another glance at me, his eyebrows drawn together. "Read my mind if you're so confused."

"I'm always listening to you, but it's your very thought process that's confusing me. Why would I be upset that you can fend for yourself?"

I crossed my arms. "Not that I can, but how I did."

"Oh," he whispered. I slumped into my seat and waited for the telling off. "Actually, I am the one who should be apologizing. You clearly know what you're doing."

I braced for nuclear impact and got a pat on the back instead. "Did Carlisle tranq you?"

He smiled before pushing it off his face with some effort. "Believe it or not, some can manage leniency without being drugged." He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a voiceless laugh in a sharp exhale. "Out of all the things I can be, however, I never expected to be the one protected. I'm not sure I've ever been pushed out of the way of danger before. Usually, I am the danger."

I snorted. "Yeah, ok." He'd terrify me later with stories about how he smiled and a woman fainted at the sight. You know, because it was so _evil._

"Not everyone is so carefree as you. Many actually hesitate when faced with the prospect of death." Would he ever get over the newborn incident? "How can I? Your thoughts were uniquely disturbing."

"I already promised I wouldn't die again, but that means you're stuck with me."

He pulled over to the side of the road and a pang of fear chilled my chest. "Don't worry, you didn't make me upset," he told me, answering a question I never got to ask. "About the bond—"

"It's weak, Edward, but it's still there. Unless Carlisle breaks it, it's always gonna be there."

He didn't argue back, which was a pleasant surprise. I rubbed my eyes, waiting for him to start driving again. When we sat still on the side of the road, I risked looking over at him. He had his jaw clenched and was staring at me with enough intensity in his eyes to make me flinch. I felt the way my own eyes widened in response.

"Sorry," he whispered and stared back out of the windshield. "Before I was called by Carlisle, I was outside, watching the sunset. The most impossible day was coming to a close."

"I heard Jake was leaving," I mentioned, remembering Quil's words from earlier.

He swallowed hard, saying nothing in response. I was starting to get worried. What could have happened? The scent of Jacob's blood kept teasing me, daring me to guess, but I did my best to keep assumptions out of my head. I didn't want to agitate him with my thoughts.

"You should know that I'll be around a lot more often now." His hand that had been sitting idly on his steering wheel squeezed. Just as quickly it outstretched, his palm balancing on the wheel. "When Bella and I spoke back on the day of the battle, she decided that she wanted to leave. She told me it would be for a month, so she could think things over."

" _Bella_ said that?" That couldn't have been right.

"She swore she would come back with a decision of what to do." None of that made any sense. Quil had said _Jacob_ was leaving. "Jacob's going with her."

"No way." It was impossible that she'd prefer Jacob in any capacity to Edward.

"I spent the entire week attempting to talk sense into her, to get past that mongrel and see _my_ Bella. I tried to tell her to stay, that you didn't want me and I didn't want you, so many times. She wouldn't listen to me. She—" He was gone, the driver's door hung ajar.

I got out of the car, too, and chased after his scent. Tree frogs quieted as I sprinted past them and I startled a family of rabbits by jumping over them. The scent of Edward was so different, but still just as easy to track. I found him deep in the forests, miles away from the car.

Moonlight shone in sparse patches through the looming tree limbs, blotting the ground. Edward stood in the soil and mossy roots, a patch of moonlight on his back. He faced away from me. I bet he was hoping Bella would come out from behind a tree trunk or pop up from a waterlogged branch on the forest floor. I was kind of hoping that she would.

I walked up to his side, giving him three feet of space. "I'm so sorry, Edward."

I couldn't help remembering all the times I'd seen Sam around the reservation after our breakup. I'd kept hoping he'd turn around to look at me and say everything was ok and we could still be together.

"We didn't technically break up," Edward stated, voice flat. He didn't believe his own words. "She could change her mind."

"She will," I agreed with a helluva lot more conviction than him. "And if she doesn't, I'll _make_ her."

He winced. "No, I don't want that."

"Whatever you want, I'll do it," I swore, earning his gaze away from the green. His eyes were bright with an agony that echoed in my soul. I remembered what that had felt like. "Let me help you."

"If I told you what I did earlier, you would stop saying such kind things." His face was the picture of a tormented soul. It was killing me, weak bond or not.

"Tell me what happened for Esme's sake. Tell me so I can tell you it's not so bad and she can see you come home." I remembered Esme sitting on the edge of his bed with me, sighing as one of his songs came to an end.

"Manipulative," he accused weakly. He looked sick, it was worrying the hell out of me.

"I do my best," I replied. He surprised me with a weak smile. "C'mon, fangs, we're not pulling teeth here. You're just telling me what happened. And me? I'm harmless to tell 'cause I'm _bound_ to still love you, no matter what."

He frowned then, looking down at his hands. "The bond isn't the same any longer."

"It's different, but some things haven't changed." I reached back into my memories, looking for one in particular. "There's still nothing you can say to make me go away."

My repeating myself from the night he found me in his room seemed to do the trick. The truth poured out of him with zero resistance. "I fought him. I promised myself I wouldn't, but I did." He looked like he would be sick at any second and balled his hands into fists. "I was doing well with accepting her decision, accepting a life without her. Then Jacob started thinking about—about her and the things he'd do to her and I—" He ripped off a nearby tree limb and throwing it hard into a thick trunk nearby. The limb crumbled into the soil, sap slowly seeping out of the tree trunk he'd damaged.

"That's not so bad." I wanted to believe it wasn't, but with how much blood I smelled on him I couldn't be sure.

Edward turned toward me, his eyes a feverish, burning gold. "I beat him into the ground, Leah. I created a crater with his body." The fire in his eyes was put out then, gone as fast as it had come. "But then Bella started screaming—or she might have been the entire time." He buried his face in his hands in a sharp, sudden movement.

"Well…" I trailed off, processing the new information. It took me a while to come to a judgment. "I'm proud of you." He took his hands off of his face, showing me just how astonished he was.

"You're serious," he said like he couldn't believe it. But what was so difficult for him to wrap his mind around?

"You showed restraint. Jacob would've died if it'd been me in your position." I shrugged, trying not to remember all the horrible things I'd done to Sam and Emily in the past. "Compared to me, you're a saint. Compared to anyone else, you're a good person."

My surroundings blurred and in an instant, I was pressed up against a tree with Edward's hand over my mouth. "It's you," he whispered. I had nowhere to look but straight into his eyes that glowed with a burning hatred. They almost emanated heat. "Do you even know what you've done to me?"

Left with no option to speak, I gave a slow shake of my head.

"You've changed me, forever. I can never go back to living the way I did before you." I tried to take his hand off of my mouth, but he snatched both of my wrists up in his long fingers. "You are the reason Bella left at all."

I didn't defend myself. I couldn't. His grip tightened.

"The endless midnight of my life had only just ended. I could see all the possibilities of happiness waiting for me, I could see a life for myself. In fact, I could only see one life for myself and it was the most perfect life I could ever want."

It was like he was made for the sole purpose of torturing me. I got to imprint, but it was on the one man who could hurt me like no one else. Even Sam's words never cut me so deep. And the thing was, I couldn't even do anything about this. With Sam, I could've stopped going out of my way to hurt him whenever I wanted. With Edward, I was screwed. Edward was my greatest reward and my cruelest punishment.

"I know I shouldn't blame you for this," he admitted, eyes still alive with loathing. "You can't help your nature, that you came in like chaos, like a storm. You can't help yourself. But _I_ should be able to."

My heart thrummed in my throat, my mouth and throat completely dry. I couldn't have spoken even if I'd wanted to. It was so sick, but I still preferred being here, like this, with him, than anywhere else.

"I want to hate you and be done with it!" He suddenly yelled.

The creatures of the woods all fled, already having kept their distance since they feared vampires—the true apex predators. In their absence, the woods became deadly quiet in our vicinity. I could hear my breathing, fast and shallow through my nose. My nerve endings had deadened except for where he was touching me. I was so focused on myself and my senses that I almost missed how Edward was trembling.

"I need to hate you," he said in a way that sounded like he was begging for my permission. "I try so very hard to." He lowered his head down, resting his forehead on my shoulder. "But I'm so exhausted."

He let go of my wrists and, before I could psyche myself out, wrapped my arms around him in a hug. An interminable amount of time passed before his arms went around me, clinging tight. But that was the moment I knew the fighting was over. He was too heartbroken to keep it up and I didn't want to. So, we hugged instead.

And so slowly that it was hard to even notice, I warmed him up and he cooled me down. It was strange how two odd people—two enemies—could level each other out perfectly. We fit together so well that it was almost freaky. All the strange changes that our bodies had gone through to make us what we were had shaped us to be perfect matches.

My skin was tougher than a human's, which made his skin softer to my touch. We were pretty much as strong as each other. It almost felt like I was a wolf _because_ he was a vampire. Of course, I was fire. After all, he was ice. Neither were special without the existence of the other.

Without any warning, an almost audible click came from my heart as it yanked itself back together.

The dam holding back all the awaiting love lowered and flooded me again with adoration for the man. I was overcome just like before, back in that clearing…but then it calmed. The unstoppable, coursing river turned into a tranquil lake and the ache of my soul hushed into still water.

He let go of me, stepping away. I let my arms slip off of him without resistance, like a water droplet sliding off a leaf. With an almost curious expression on his face, he picked up my left hand, holding it in both of his. The thrill of the touch was muted against the overwhelming comfort it brought.

The bond was back and _stronger_. I doubted even death could sever the hold on us anymore.

"No turning back now," he stated with no clear emotion.

I almost didn't want to ask, "How do you feel about that?"

He gazed down at my hand, already cooling at the fingertips. "I'm not sure yet. In any case, Carlisle needs to take a look at you. The bond seems to be more physical than we first believed.

I sighed at the thought of my undead doctor. "He's just gonna kill me the second he sees me."

"You think so? I imagine he'll be too busy with me when he finds out you phased and I did nothing to stop you." How would Carlisle know I phased? "Shapeshifters smell especially potent after phasing."

Great. The benevolent Doctor Cullen was going to kill us with his healing hands.

Edward smiled and released his hold on my hand. "He's not going to kill you. Although, you may find death preferable to the lecture he's guaranteed to give you."

"You're probably right. You should just kill me now."

Completely ignoring my comment, he said, "I think you bring out the stern father in him even more than Emmett does. That's quite a feat."

"Seriously? This is me tame and toned down. Carlisle's head would've exploded if he'd known me when I was in high school."

Try as he clearly did to fight it off, he ended up smiling at the flood of pubescent memories that ran through my head. The light of his smile easily put the moon to shame. Stars must get jealous of the way he could beam.

And it looked like the cheesy, adulating thoughts were back. _Great_.

"Did you really dye your hair platinum blonde to prove a point to your mom, or do you just have a very vivid imagination?"

Why did he have to pick that bad memory out of all the other ones I had of being fifteen? He just _had_ to pick the one that made me cringe the hardest.

"That one's very real." I could still recall how my scalp had burned and I had a brief scare I'd scalded my hair off with chemicals. "And it turned out she was right, I looked ridiculous. Shut up."

He was still smiling as he defended himself with, "I didn't say anything."

"You Cullen siblings all smile when you're guilty," I replied, sulking for a second. "Anyway, enough about me being a stupid kid. Tell me about the less horrible days of your week."

"The days were all commensurate in their horror. The nights were more bearable, but I avoided home and roamed the earth in favor of returning." Why wouldn't he come home? "I didn't think you wanted to see me."

That threw me for a loop and down a freaking cliff.

"You're funnier than you mean to be," Edward commented with a musical chuckle.

"Edward, you could've come back just to rip my heart out and stomp on it and I would've done the same stupid thing with my hands." I stuck my hands into my jean pockets, paranoid about another gesticulation mishap. He grinned at the sight, doing stupid things to my heart. "I always wanna see you."

Instead of stiffening, or wincing, or backing away, he gazed into my eyes. He even looked better, somehow less pale than before. "I feel better."

"Good. My job is done." I pretended to wipe sweat off my brow, inspiring another one of his pretty smiles.

A tiny silence took place, one a lot more bearable than the one that still haunted me from when we were in his room. Edward smiled and I realized he was listening to me. "You're so loud, it's difficult _not_ to listen to you."

"Sheesh, sorry. I'll try to think quieter." I wasn't sure how I was going to go about doing that, but I'd definitely try.

"Don't. I like your thoughts." I was aware again of the fact that he was still holding my hand. He didn't let go. "I can't. Not right now." His eyes became fiercely vulnerable again, revealing the pain just underneath the surface.

It took my breath away. I whispered with the heaviest heart, "Ok."

"Thank you." He licked his lips, lost for a minute before he came back. His eyes focused again. "Before we head back, would you like to see where I went most nights? I—"

"Yes," I answered fast. "Also, continue."

"I was only going to say that I know Carlisle and Esme are waiting for us, but I don't think our trip will make a big difference."

"Don't worry about Esme, I exaggerated her concern. She's usually too busy with Seth to worry about either of us for more than a minute at a time." I thought about the past week and Edward laughed, the lovely sound putting a smile on my face. "Yeah, it's gotten pretty bad."

"I can drive him home tonight if you like," he offered, ever the angel.

It was tempting, but, "It's gotta be me this time."

We ran back to the car together, neither of us had the patience for a stroll. He turned on the heater once we were back in the car, but I switched it back off and turned on the music instead.

"You're not cold," Edward said, not quite making the cut for a questioning inflection. "I forget, at times, that you're not quite human."

"Me too. But then I explode into a wolf and I remember pretty quick." I glanced over at him from the glove compartment I was rooting around in. He was smiling. "Telling me what happened took a weight off your shoulders. You're all smiles now."

"Am I?" He sounded surprised, his eyes flicking over to me for the briefest second. "Hm."

The two of us settled into a comfortable silence after I put in a CD that looked interesting. Every now and then, he would ask a quiet question about what I thought about different songs or books in his room. He didn't seem like he upset over my snooping anymore, so that was good. I tried so hard not to think it, but it seemed like we were… _bonding_.

"I suppose we are." I jumped, even though his voice was soft. He smiled at me, eyes catching my hands that were in nervous fists. "You don't need to worry anymore. It won't go back to the way it used to be."

"The bond, our day-to-day interaction or your opinion of me?"

He pondered my question, the jazzy pianist trilled away through the speakers in the sleek car. In his own time, he replied, "All three."

"Ok." I looked out of the window, forcing myself to remain calm. "But, just so you know, I won't be upset if it changes again when Bella comes back."

"I appreciate your sincerity. Thank you."

Everything looked way too beautiful now that Edward was on good terms with me. Now that we were friends.

"Provisionally." Fair enough.

Along the way to our mystery destination, I noticed we had fast driving in common. I made a game out of spying plants and trying to remember their names before we passed them. It was fun.

I was winning.

"Not even close," Edward argued, though his tone was light, relaxed.

"Fine, whatever." I didn't care about winning. It wasn't even a real game and it was too dark out for my human eyes to see right.

It was a stupid game anyway.

"Leah," he said, amusement in his eyes when I looked back at him. "You're almost as sore a loser as Carlisle."

Carlisle was competitive? God, that made so much sense! Now, I knew why he'd beaten me so bad at chess. The first three times I'd let slide, but seven times in a row with no tips on how to beat him in the next round? That mean old man was competitive as hell!

"Mean old man," Edward quoted me, a sweet smile growing on his lips.

"I know, I know. Not as funny as I mean to be."

As I was picking at my nails, we drove down a long stretch of rough road. I was pretty sure we were getting close now.

He mentioned as we started to slow down, "I forgot to tell you something. Jacob told me to tell you he guesses he's sorry."

"Before the fight, I'm guessing."

"The day before, and he was being earnest. He believes the reason you died was due to him distracting you with talk of me and Bella." He rapped his fingers against the steering wheel, a tension growing around him. It was so much easier to pick up on his emotions now.

"What's wrong?"

He straightened up in his seat where he'd been leaned and relaxed until now. "The truth is that it's my fault."

Stunned seemed like a stupid understatement for what I felt. "Uh, what? Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you up on a mountain when it happened?"

"Precisely. If I'd been down there, that wouldn't have happened." He rapped his fingers again, the whole wheel rattling with the force of it. "I would have been fast enough to stop it."

"Yeah, but without you, Bella might've died from Victoria's backhanded sneak attack. You made the right call." How could he not see that?

If I'd had to choose before the battle, I would've made Edward fight. It had been a good decision to stick by her, even if it wasn't for the reason of keeping her safe so much as keeping her sane. Plus, Seth would have been alone and that would have killed me by itself, with no help from the hug-loving newborn.

"And I got to see my dad, too, so it worked out."

I could feel his faint presence in my mind before he murmured, "Interesting. I didn't hear anything when you died. Your thoughts simply went away."

"That gives even more validity to the experience then." The tiny trace of doubt was erased. It really had been my dad. "Dying was the best thing to ever happen to me."

He got a kick out of that. Peals of his laughter overshadowed the music, making it sound like a racket in comparison. "And here _I_ thought to die was a horrible experience for everyone."

"Only for those that stay dead."

"Me included," he retorted.

I clicked my tongue, my eyes wandering back to my window. "You're not dead in the ways that matter."

"Is that so? I trust you'll explain the rules of life and death's relativity to me a bit later." He eased the car into a stop, unlocking the doors. "For now, we're here."

I almost opened the door for myself. Edward was faster, though. "And _now_ it's a pattern."

He offered me a hand out that I took without a thought. It felt simple, natural like we'd always done that. "I hope your eyes will be able to see alright."

"They will, just not while we're going a hundred miles per hour." I stretched as I looked around what seemed like nothing in the middle of nowhere. "We're not there yet, are we?"

"After a bit of a hike, we will be. Follow me."

He kept a swift pace, but I kept up, abandoning my shoes when they kept slipping around due to recent rain. I was always faster barefoot, anyway. We got to where we were going in around twenty minutes, give or take, and it wasn't at all what I expected. Though, I couldn't tell you what I'd thought he was leading to me now that I knew what it was.

We stood before a stunning meadow teeming with bloomed wildflowers that stole away the breath of anticipation I'd been holding. It was a delicate sort of beauty, the whole place topped with a pleasant natural, floral perfume. An innocent breeze told me the beauty wasn't what had brought Edward there.

I smelled Bella.

The pieces came together as I stared at moonlight bouncing off of the blades of grass dotted with rain. The flowers also sparkled like diamonds were nestled on their fragile petals instead of raindrops. To help the enchanting meadow, fireflies drifted out from the trees, creating a cozy glow. The beauty of the place was a bit distracting, but I would've had to have been brain-dead not to see it.

"This is where you two would go." I peeked over at him, but he wasn't looking at me. He was staring at a patch of recently trampled grass. Bella had been to the meadow—today, by the smell of it.

"She came one last time. For closure, I believe. I watched her from afar, like a trespasser who feared being seen."

He went out to the middle of the meadow and kneeled, arms hung uselessly at his sides. The animals in the area didn't flee at the sight and scent of him. They were used to him. It spoke to how much time he must have spent here, with her.

"She didn't know I was here when she came last, I made sure of it. Yet, she bade me farewell. Not in the temporary sense, but with a finality and tears in her eyes that were beyond beauty. If she didn't mean it, I know Jacob will make sure she does by the end of the month."

I took a careful step into the meadow, avoiding flowers. "You don't know that."

"I do," he told me, adamant. "She will be gone and I will be forever waiting. Forever hoping that this goodbye will someday lose its permanence."

Careful of the bed of wildflowers, I knelt down beside him. He kept his eyes focused outward, on the dark of the woods. His skin was so pale, but this was the first time I'd looked at him and seen a corpse. Without Bella, he considered himself dead.

"Everything can change in less than a day. She could be back tomorrow and begging for your forgiveness for all you know."

"You really believe that," he murmured, eyes slipping closed. His eyelashes cast faint shadows across his pale cheekbones. "I want to believe, too. I want to believe she'll come back."

"God, Edward. Can you stop moping for five seconds? Don't tell yourself no! You still stand a chance!" I never stood a chance. The second Sam met Emily, I lost him. Edward should be thanking his lucky stars Jacob didn't imprint, that it was me instead of him.

"But you don't understand it, Leah." I looked over again, but this time, I found him staring at me already. "The Volturi have seen her twice and are expecting her to be turned to my way of life. Even if she decides she doesn't want me, she _must_ be changed. If she does not turn, they'll kill her and I can't let that happen—I can't." He covered his mouth with his hand, long fingers curling around his face to make a firm clasp. He looked sick again.

 _Shoot_. My work was never done with him.

Carlisle had mentioned The Volturi, how they policed all other vampires. If they really did want to kill Bella— "We'll stop them," I said, decisive. I'd get the pack to help.

He spoke through his fingers, his voice barely above a whisper, "It's not possible, trust me when I say that. Everyone would die if we attacked, even with combined forces."

I had serious doubts that they couldn't be taken down with the right set of people. "She can hide until fighting's an option."

"There's no place she could hide where someone wouldn't kill her or turn her in. She must be turned by the end of this year or The Volturi will kill Bella to ensure she can't jeopardize our secret." He screwed his eyes shut like a knife was being twisted into his chest. "But how could I do such a thing? What must she think now? Her reason to want anything other than a normal life has vanished. I couldn't possibly have Carlisle change her now."

"This is a case of crossing a bridge once you get to it. You can't make a decision until she comes to her own at the end of the month." He let his hand fall from his face, which shined to my eyes even in the dull, waxing light of the moon. "Gotta know the circumstances to make the right decision, fangs."

"I know. You're right." He drew in a long breath, exhaling and turning the air sweet and inviting. His scent had gone back to normal. "I can wait for a month. I waited ninety years to find her, a month is nothing."

"It'll go a lot faster if you come home, too." I reached out, plucking lupine from the soil and examining it.

Of all the places I'd been, few places had such a wide array of wildflowers growing in its soil as this meadow. He'd found a place I would have adored as a hideaway when I'd still felt like hiding. It even had a stream nearby that babbled and fed the small bit of paradise.

"Why would you hide?"

"When I was a kid, to freak out the adults who were looking after me. As an adult, I did it to escape being Sam's ex for a few hours. Bunnies didn't care about my romantic history." Bunnies also didn't talk, so I liked them a lot.

Edward adjusted to where he could lay down and then gazed at me. After a while, he asked softly, "It bothers you that much?"

"Huh?" He raised an eyebrow at me, eyes glittering. "Oh, flowers. Yeah, kinda. You're crushing them."

"Here," he said and sat back up. "I'll keep the deaths to a minimum tonight."

I gave an unimpressed guffaw, drawing a loud laugh out of him. "My _hero_ ," I snarked, reaching out to catch a firefly.

"You're mine after tonight. At the very least, you're my noble knight who fought on behalf of my honor," he teased. It took me aback. I hadn't seen this side of him very often. "You will now."

"Now that we're provisional buddies." The two of us chuckled over the stupid term.

"Did you ever want to go to college?" He asked later when I was thinking about Seth's popularity in his summer school.

Mom hated it when I called his summer program a summer school. As far as I concerned, that's what it was. More school preparing him for the future adult school that we all called college.

I shrugged. "College wasn't important to me, even before I started phasing. I mean, I would've gone someday, but I was more focused on Sam and helping my dad with the tribal council. I had a job, too, but, I dunno. My priorities were different."

"I see." He watched me as I exhaled deeply, running my hands through my hair. "Show me the places you used to hide."

I thought of all the caves and valleys I'd found in the mountain ranges while storming away from my problems. I liked mountain summits the best because they made everything look so small, like I could overcome it all and be home for dinner. There was this one, special creek that was crystal clear. I was never able to find it again, though. But I was finally ok with it since it all paled next to relaxing in Edward's room, stretched across his couch. He had such a sick view, too.

"You would love Greece," he told me. "The waters there are the lightest shades of blue and green. Completely transparent all the way down to their macrophytes."

Greece? I could barely leave my house without everything going to hell. "I could never go."

"Don't tell yourself no," he repeated, using my own words against me with a teasing smirk.

I scowled and stood up, crossing my arms over my chest. "Don't get all smart with me. You've seen how hard I can kick people."

"I don't think I'll ever forget it," he stated with a laugh, mirth hidden in the corners of his smile.

He was steadier, I could tell from the way he was breathing, how his eyes had softened again to honey. As long as neither of us overthought it, I could take care of him. I could keep him well until Bella came back.

But it was time to go home, he couldn't avoid it forever.

"You'd be surprised how long I can avoid something." I stood up and wordlessly held out my hands. "Couldn't we stay for a little longer?"

"No. Let's go before I change my mind and hide somewhere Carlisle will never find me." He smiled at that, but got up without touching me.

He seemed distracted on our way back to the car. I didn't understand why until he was driving us away and he said, "Leah, I'm so deeply, deeply ashamed of the way I acted towards you. I've no excuse for such awful behavior and I know you've already forgiven me, but I still owe you this apology. I owe you so many more apologies than this."

"No, you don't. It's fine."

"It isn't fine." He sighed, backing out of the parking spot with a grimace on his face. "I suppose all I can do now is never do it again. It's just frustrating when you forgive me so easily—I feel like I haven't earned it."

"Same here. Emily forgave me really fast, but getting over the guilt took longer."

Grateful as I was to be back in Emily's good graces, I knew I didn't deserve it. It was hard to get over the feeling of being an impostor when she and Sam would visit me. I felt like they thought I was someone else, someone good who hadn't made a concerted effort to be the devil on earth. They were mistaken and had the wrong woman. I wasn't the one who was supposed to be loved and considered by them.

"And then I got over it."

"Did you?"

I shrugged, his question prompting my stomach to twist itself up. "Yeah, I did." I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to look at him. And then I remembered— "Ah, crap! I left Emily's shoes somewhere in the forests."

"I'll buy her new ones. Does she like Prada?"

"Well, I lost a pair of _crocs_ , so I think a Prada replacement should be fine. And moving onto a wildly different, separate topic, do you ever burn money just because you can?"

A faint smirk creeped onto his face. "There's only been one instance of money-burning and that was in the fire of '98."

"What's the fire of '98?" Sounded ominous.

"I'll tell you later."

It wasn't that long until we were approaching his place. I started to steel myself. We broke through the narrow path and the entire Cullen family was waiting out front. I felt like my heart sped up at the sight of them, but Emmett's gleeful laugh confirmed it. I hadn't been so nervous since I ate mushrooms and then had to go home while I was still high as hell. My dad knew the second he saw me that I was on something and I got the punishment of a lifetime. But Carlisle couldn't ground me…

Right?

Edward laughed. He was no help.

Esme was the first to greet us. I got a stern frown before she enveloped Edward in a hug that, though it looked fragile, I knew could crush me.

"Leah, we were worried sick over you. What were you thinking?" Carlisle beelined for me because I was just lucky that way.

His voice was gentle and so was his touch as he looked over me, twirling me around to get the complete angle of my wellness. Pretty clear how pissed off he was, though. It was all in the eyes with cold ones.

"Don't be mad. I'm completely fine and I didn't do anything you wouldn't have wanted me to—"

"You're a liar and a bad one, at that. I can smell that you phased, you reek," Rosalie said from the porch, seemingly frustrated with me. Like, genuinely. "Can't you take it a little easy? You died a week ago."

"Rose, I'm fine. I even fought today—" Esme released an audible gasp and holding a hand over her heart. "No, no, but it's fine. I'm _fine_. I'm better than fine, my bruises are gone and look—look, I brought Edward home! Good job, Leah."

Carlisle glanced at Edward and they shared a meaningful look before the attention was back on me. "Let me see your scar." I lifted up my shirt, Edward the only one showing any sign of discomfort.

"She's wearing a sports bra, calm down," Rosalie said from the huge porch. Edward sneered at her and she sneered back.

"Where's Alice?" I asked, looking around for the scary pixie.

Jasper answered, "Out shopping for that event she's planning."

"It's still there, faintly, but you're right. You healed well," Carlisle said and to my surprise, looked relieved. I guessed he didn't about who was right so long as I felt better.

Crap. I felt bad now.

"It all disappeared after I fell asleep in the bathtub—don't freak out, there wasn't a risk of drowning." I glanced at Jasper for help and he gave me a subtle nod. Carlisle's eyes softened a bit. "Jeez, you guys are all super paranoid. Did Bella almost die every five minutes?" Rosalie smirked at my question and strutted back inside, letting me know I'd hit the nail on the head. "Well, I'm tough. And also very sorry for not calling."

Edward came up to my side and Carlisle brought him into a brief hug. "She's a very proficient fighter and I was there to watch her back. She's well now—or as she would and _has_ said six separate times, fine." I elbowed Edward's side and he stifled a laugh.

The Cullen family reacted weirdly at our tiny exchange. It took me a few seconds to realize why. "The bond changed again and we're friends now."

"Provisional friends," Edward corrected me. Something flashed across his face before he hissed, "Rosalie, stop it."

"I'm only stating the facts," she said from her room. I could smell nail polish a second later. "Besides, my prediction will be proven in time."

Emmett let out a loud groan. "Angel, you promised there wouldn't be secret conversations right off the bat!"

"Sorry, sorry," she mumbled and couldn't have sounded less apologetic if she'd tried.

But Carlisle was being so quiet. It was starting to scare me, so I made a split-second decision to address him. "I'm really sorry. I won't do anything like that again."

"You're both back and unharmed. The only person you need to apologize to is Esme, for almost worrying her into a second death." Esme smiled meekly, seeming sorry for having been concerned for my wellbeing.

"Sorry, Esme," I muttered, surprising myself by meaning it.

"It's alright, dear. Do you have your phone now?" Edward immediately started laughing again and I elbowed him hard enough to where he stumbled to the side. Esme grinned at the two of us and said, "That's alright, too. We'll buy you one."

"That'd be great." I had no qualms freeloading off of them. They were the richest people I'd ever met, it did _not_ bother me. "Now that my slap on the wrist is over. It's your turn."

Edward sobered. "Yes, it is. Go inside, I'll be there soon."

"Sure thing." I gave Carlisle a tentative pat on the shoulder as I went by him and Esme a smile. Emmett followed me inside while Jasper nodded as I passed him, staying rooted where he was.

I flopped down beside Seth on the couch, waking him up from the food coma he was in. I stole the remote from him while he was still disoriented and switched on the TV. He went through a bunch of different emotions, all of them displaying across his face before he settled on happiness.

"You're back! How'd it go?" He asked as Emmett sprinted upstairs to go see Rosalie. I pointed at the left corner of my mouth and Seth mirrored me, wiping the drool off his mouth with the back of his hand.

I snorted, ruffling his hair in the way I knew he despised. "Let's just say that Paul won't be a jerk to you again anytime soon." After a moment of channel-surfing, I muttered, "And there are a few things changing in the pack. Things we should talk about, privately."

"Oh, man." He sighed and slumped deeper into the couch.

"You don't even know what it is yet and you're already moping."

"I can tell it's bad. You only ever wanna talk about the really bad things in private." He sunk even lower into the cushions and I choked down a laugh, knowing he'd get all uppity if he heard me laughing at the way he pouts.

He'd pouted the same he had way all his life, with his bottom lip stuck out and his arms crossed. It always made me see him as a baby again.

Emmett came back downstairs, a big grin and pink lipstick on his face. "Nice goin' with Edward, Flash. Knew you'd bring him around."

"It was my immense intelligence and good-natured personality that won him over in the end."

His grin grew bigger. "Yeah? And how'd you _actually_ win him over?"

"I chased him down in the forest." Emmett started laughing and I used the loud sound to my advantage. I leaned over and whispered to Seth, "Ready to go?"

It was rough seeing the smile wiped clean from his face, but he had to go home. Edward was back and I needed to focus on helping him and Carlisle make futile attempts at breaking the bond. The program Seth was enrolled in was serious, too. He couldn't keep going in late because he was spending all his time here.

We walked out and took Emmett's Jeep since he'd insisted on it. Mom's light was off when we got home. My hope was that he'd go right to sleep since he was already napping pretty peacefully back at the Cullen's.

"Did you and Mom ever work things out?" I asked him as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Yeah, we did. After you died, she changed a lot." He started fidgeting with the drawstring on his sweatshirt, not making a move to leave.

I guessed I wasn't getting out of being emotional tonight. "I just wanna say that what happened at the clearing won't happen again."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." I gulped, my left leg restless and bouncing. "'Cause I love you a lot. I'd go to hell and back to make sure you're happy and healthy. I'm sorry I let you down in the first place."

He threw his arms around me, crushing me into a hug. "I love you, too, Leah. I forgive you, we all do." He squeezed me harder and I reached a hand up, patting his back.

When Seth was a baby, he was just as wonderful as he was now. He would smile at anyone and everyone. He would reach out to people so they would hold them, offering perfect strangers hugs. And I've always been jealous of his empathy that he got straight from Dad. But since he was like this big ball of sensitivity, I had to be his shell. I protected him and stuck up for him and defended him. So, when I shattered at the clearing, I left him alone.

I would never forgive myself for that.

"Alright, now get out." I pulled out of the hug and reached up to pat his cheeks. "If you have a nightmare tonight, I'll know and I'll punch you."

"Ok. I promise to have good dreams." He gave me that big, ear-to-ear grin I'd been missing and then hopped out.

Three times. He turned around three times before he made it inside the house. And I wondered if life was always going to be this way. Was I always going to be the guilty letdown?

For the first time, I could tell myself no. Sometimes, I could help someone. Sometimes, it could be fireflies and Edward's laughter.

When I got back to the house, Alice and Jasper were conversing in the living room about coordinating outfits for a party. I couldn't hear anyone else speaking, but I could hear Rosalie and Emmett cuddling up in their room. Esme was doing something on one of the computers in the office under the stairs, humming a song under her breath. Carlisle was reading a book in his office, the sound of the page-turning clueing me in.

I used to think cold ones sat around like statues, like how they had back on the day we fought the newborn army. The Cullens were fairly active people, as it turned out. I found it ironic that dead people had a more lively social life than me.

Before I went upstairs, I grabbed a glass of water and ate a sandwich Esme had made for Seth. Alice stroked my hair, sitting with me on the couch as I ate, still talking to Jasper. I tuned them out, watching TV and appreciating how easy it was to eat Esme's cooking.

In the beginning, eating their cooking was almost painful, but I'd gotten so used to it by now. I could even taste things past their scent. It was about as ideal as it could get, for me.

So, when I finally made it up to Edward's room and found him relaxed on his sofa with his eyes closed, I said, "I can sleep in any room now. I don't have to camp out in yours."

He made no sign he'd heard me, staying stationary as I went over to his bed, leaning against a post. After a minute, he stood up and placed a CD in his sound system. It was Claudio Arrau playing Liszt, my new infatuation.

"It's fine, for now. You may continue to sleep in here."

"Wait, really? You don't want me outta here and back to where I came from?"

He smiled. "You can sleep here tonight, Leah. There's a bed coming for you tomorrow afternoon." There we go. That made more sense. "This isn't permanent."

"Of course, not. It's temporary and I'm happy with whatever you're happy with." At least, I thought I was. The new rules of our bond hadn't made themselves clear yet.

He seated himself, graceful even in that tiny task. "It's only for tonight, so this is well within my limit."

"Ok, then. Good."

"Good."


	8. Chapter 8

### Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.

The tests started the morning following Edward's reappearance.

A lot of test results didn't lead anywhere, showing no physical link between me and Edward. But we did learn how my white blood cells reacted to his venom. Or, more accurately, how they didn't react at all, treating his venom like friendly bacteria. So, that posed the question of if Edward could turn me since no antibodies would fight the process off.

There was also the little thing of my blood changing when I was shaking for a phase. Rosalie had said it looked like it was from a completely different being. When I expressed concern, Carlisle promised to look into it sometime in the future. He was pretty adamant we stay focused on the "foremost issue", though.

Edward's and my connection.

"There's actually a lot more tests to run. The aim of today is to collect proof that you two share a telepathic link. One separate of Edward's ability," Carlisle explained and then adjusted my wicked headgear.

I was connected to a lot of weird-looking machines after Carlisle put me into a bunch of other weird machines. I felt like a tried and true lab rat. Fell asleep in an MRI machine earlier, so that was interesting. Carlisle laughed about it for a full hour after the fact, but it was completely his fault. He'd woken me up before dawn and without Edward, so I'd stayed drowsy for a lot longer than I should have.

"How many more of these can there be? Are you making some of them up?"

Carlisle smiled and said, "I can assure you that even after all these years, I'm not so creative. My beautiful, talented wife is the right-brained one." He always gushed over Esme at least once a day. I always made a face when he did it, but deep down I thought it was sweet.

"Yeah, yeah. Esme's amazing and pretty. Let's do these tests already."

"Actually, Edward will go first, for obvious reasons, but don't worry. You won't ever hear what he does before you."

I looked around at all the spongey soundproofing glued to the several feet thick metal walls. "I don't doubt it. You must've been working on this place for a long time."

"In fact, I have. Before I made changes in preparation for you, this was the place where I studied vampirism. There's a lot of precious data stored down here that the Volturi, themselves, like to peek in on from time to time."

The Volturi. Carlisle had told me a bit about them and why they were so invested in Bella's turning. "Are they looking forward to a cure?"

"No," Carlisle said with a good-natured laugh. "If I ever was to discover a cure, they may very well try to destroy it." He adjusted the electrodes on my temples, again. He got all OCD whenever we were in the lab.

"Why would they do that?"

"The Volturi likes to leash the true monsters, not declaw them. They come to see if I've found out how to enhance powers or get rid of the newborn inability of self-control."

"Plus, a cure would be a threat to them," I muttered. I hated everything I'd learned about the Volturi so far.

Carlisle didn't look like he liked them any more than me. "They got rid of the biggest threat to them. Two members of the coven who used to rule survived, though I can't imagine how they did in such a massive war."

"My ancestors were in massive wars, once, but most of them took place while they slept," I said. When he seemed a bit puzzled, I clarified, "Astral projection is in a lot of the old stories."

"Ah, I see." He folded his arms over his chest, a thoughtfulness in his eyes. "I enjoy the stories you've shared with me of your honorable ancestors. I often think you'll be a figure in your people's history who will be widely admired for your courage."

I smiled right back. "Thanks. Means a lot." He smiled at the few nice words, already aware that I wasn't eloquent enough to be any nicer. He got me, almost as well as Edward and—surprisingly—Rosalie did.

A question occurred to me while he was still busy being pleased over what I'd said. "Wait, what would happen if the Volturi knew about all this? Me, the pack, my imprinting."

"Aro is aware of there being a small pack down here. After all, Aro touched both Edward and Alice, both of which knew about the Quileute secret. He's not concerned, he would have already told Caius and Marucs if he was. As for if Caius were to ever find out..." There was a change in his eyes, a severity taking over their usual kindness. "Well, we'd keep you safe, Leah."

I thought Aro was the leader. Why did he seem more nervous about some other cold one? "Who the hell's this Caius guy?"

"It doesn't matter," he said in a dismissive, brusque tone and then started for the door. "I'm going to go begin with Edward now."

He had to be crazy if he thought I'd let it go. "Carlisle—"

"I will be back shortly." He dashed out of the room, door closing and locking behind him.

The vicious waiting game commenced. Waiting for my turn to get experimented on by Carlisle was probably the worst part of the day.

Life had become easy, so easy that I was suspicious. I got along too well with Alice, hanging out over lunch and getting to know her. Jasper didn't talk to me, but he hovered around me and Edward, always reading a book. Rosalie was still Rosalie, except now she was trying to fix up my van for me because she hated the sight of it. Emmett was always game for anything and the most easy-going person I knew. They all made what should have been a huge, nightmarish life-change into something I enjoyed.

But I enjoyed it _too_ much. Anytime I liked my life, the turn would come, the bitter twist that would make M. Night Shyamalan proud. I found myself counting the minutes Edward and I got along during those first two days. I kept waiting for it to all come crashing down, or to wake up still just Sam's ex he couldn't escape.

I never did wake up to discover it was all a dream, though. I also hadn't woken up in my own bed once since it had arrived, so yeah. Waste of money.

The door handle to the only entrance and exit of the room turned with a muted click. "I've returned with props," Carlisle announced as he opened the door, walking inside.

"Hand 'em over."

He laid out a bunch of cards on the plain, steel table with strange symbols on them. I expected them to smell like Edward, but they didn't. He'd sterilized them, robbing me of any advantage over the test.

"Put these cards in any order," he instructed from the corner of the room, watching like a hawk.

With a shrug, I did as he said, putting the cards in random order. He took the cards back after a moment of examining my choices and then left again. The room was so quiet without anyone else around that my breathing started annoying me. I was actually relieved when Carlisle came back with another trial for me to pass.

This continued for hours.

When the handle clicked for the millionth time, I decided I'd fight Carlisle. I'd never gotten to spar with him before and if I took him by surprise, then I could win in an instant. So, I took off all the crap I was connected to and jumped into a crouch on the table.

The heavy door swung open and Edward came striding in, radiant as ever. I hadn't seen him this morning, Carlisle having kept us separated when he brought us in. It felt like I hadn't seen him in years when I met his glittering, gold eyes, framed with the prettiest, dark eyelashes. The bond made me miss him and his every, individual eyelash a lot faster now, but it never hurt. We were still figuring it all out, though, but together this time. There was nothing I didn't want to do with Edward anymore.

"Hello there," he greeted me with a pleasant melody to his voice. "Stretching?" He asked in a knowing tone.

I stood up as Carlisle came in, smiling in the face of his suspicious frown. "Yup. Just stretching my legs out."

Edward was in a black lambswool sweater with the collar of his pin-striped button-down peeking over its crewneck. As always, he had loose, nice, ironed slacks and a pair of his preferred black oxfords. And I was going to kill Alice later for forcing so much fashion knowledge into my brain.

"You're in poor form." Edward had a crooked grin on his face when I looked back at him. "For squats."

"Well, I was doing wide-set squats," I replied, climbing off of the table. Time for a not very subtle segue. "Hey, were your tests as weird as mine or do I get special treatment?"

"For the most part. I didn't get the heart monitor." He sat down the seat across from mine, making himself comfortable. "There's more yet to be done. Have a seat, Leah."

I sighed and planted myself back in my chair. Carlisle helped me put everything back on, scolding me the entire time. In a purely fatherly move, he smoothed down my hair for me before he put the headgear back on.

Carlisle gave my shoulder a squeeze before he ran out of the room to get something. When he came back, he held whatever he'd gotten behind his back. "Now, this next experiment is to prove—"

"Save it, Doctor. Edward can read your mind and I don't care, no offense. I hated science in school." Edward gave a tiny chuckle at my sullen comment and in a few seconds, he had the wild headgear on and ready to go.

Carlisle had a stack of—surprise, surprise— _more_ cards as he stood at the end of the table. The caring doctor was completely emotionless as he looked between the two of us. He held up the first card and I let out a guffaw that made Edward chuckle.

"The inkblot test?" There was no way these tests were helping anything. "Should I tell you what I see?"

Carlisle's lips twitched, but he kept up the expressionless mask. "If you'd like to."

"A tomato in its later years of retirement," I described, smiling when Edward laughed. I'd worked hard these past few days to be able to fool him with fake-out thoughts.

"You're already very proficient," he admitted. "It's impressive."

I crossed my arms. "I'm just getting started."

"I'm aware," Edward murmured as Carlisle dropped the card, revealing the next one.

The test flew by, Edward stifling little bouts of laughter the whole time. Carlisle was leaving soon enough and when he opened the door to go, I caught a whiff of Rosalie. I guessed she was assisting him today. She had before, so it wasn't a shocker that she was again. Rosalie's talents were as sporadic as her mood-swings.

Since Edward and I were alone, I took off all the equipment still connected to me and rolled out my chair. It was a bit of a task avoiding all the monitors Carlisle had set up around me, but I maneuvered my way through. Edward watched the process, only speaking once I'd rolled my way to his side.

"That was a lot of effort to be lazy," he commented, eyes alight. "Why is it that you're so adept at hiding your initial reactions and thoughts to things?"

"Simple. The pack. You can't block anything from them, but I found ways to sort of filter my thoughts if I focused hard." I laid my head down on the table, the steel alloy like ice against my cheek.

It was a good thing I couldn't freeze or I would've already been a human ice-cube from the temperature of Carlisle's lab.

"What about you? Do you think like everyone else?"

Edward propped his arm up on the table, resting his cheek in his hand as he stared down at me. "Not exactly. The rate at which thoughts cross my mind is faster than of humans or shapeshifters. I can also think of many things at once, so I function at peak performance, regardless of my misery."

"Are you miserable?"

He stopped breathing and his eyes grew distant, a sign he was thinking deeply about something. I waited, patient only when it came to him. After a minute, his eyes sharpened again and laser-focused in on mine. "No," he whispered, his lips staying parted.

I sat up, mimicking his position to make him smile. It worked. "Good. Then you can make it until Bella comes back." He flinched at her name.

"What if she doesn't come to the decision that she still wants to be with me?" That wouldn't happen. "You know very well that it could—it's very likely to, in fact. So, what then?"

It was obvious. "Then I'll be there to help you protect her from the Volturi and figure things out. I'll help."

"Unless the bond is miraculously broken by then, that is."

"Say what you want, Cullen. I'm used to people thinking the worst of me and then sticking around anyway." That was pretty much the pattern of the last year of my life.

Edward sat up, abandoning the easy position he'd maintained throughout the conversation. "I wasn't thinking the worst of you, it's only that I can't think of a reason you would want to stay if the bond broke. Why would you?"

"Because you're…" What could describe him? No word I knew could cover it. "I just think you're worth staying for."

A silence interrupted our conversation, stretching on for more than a few minutes. And he never did say anything. Instead, his fingers grazed my hand under the table, almost like he was planning to hold it. But he didn't. He gave my knee an awkward pat.

"Thanks, pal," I snarked and he gave a breathy chuckle, covering his face with his hand. Sometimes, he got shy. Pretty much only around me, though. "We're such great buddies, you and I."

"Must you seize _every_ opportunity to make fun of me?"

I took his hand off of his face, holding it tight in mine. "Only when you make it so easy." Then I let it go.

Carlisle came back in a second later and thought something that made Edward scoot his chair away from mine. "Leah, remember the extra chromosome we found in your genes and how I theorized it was the source of your phasing?"

"Jumping straight in, huh? Yeah, I do."

"Edward's venom doesn't react to your cells as we'd speculated it might. I discovered earlier today that actually attacks yours cells as if they're a foreign entity. If he ever bit you, you would still die, only a lot faster. It would take seconds"

Nausea stirred at me as I processed the news. If Edward had decided to kill me after I imprinted, it would have been all too easy. I wouldn't have turned or become some strange hybrid, I would have burned and died. It could have all been over so fast.

It took me a second to find my voice again. "Sorry, but I'm having a difficult time understanding how my chromosome and that fun fact are connected."

"The thing is—"

"Carlisle," Edward interrupted, something off about his voice. It didn't register with the warmth he usually kept around his family.

"She deserves to know, Edward."

This was all giving me a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. "Know what?"

"I can't remove this chromosome, but we may be able to rehabilitate it with experimental therapies. I've been developing a few methods of gene therapy for years and if you'd be willing to, I'd like to use them with you. Edward's venom would be the perfect basis for this experiment. It could act as an aggressive chemotherapy. If your abilities are in that chromosome and we manage to rehabilitate it—"

"It could get rid of my ability to phase, and if I don't phase, I shouldn't imprint." Could it all be that easy?

"How can either of you be considering this?" Edward looked so confused that I was almost lost by association.

Carlisle looked equally bewildered. "Everyone wins in the scenario where she gets to be a normal, human woman again."

"Unless she dies."

"If I die it shouldn't hurt you. The bond's different now, it doesn't affect us on a physical level so much anymore." Carlisle nodded in agreement with me. "Yeah, so it should be fine."

Edward stood up fast enough to blur and sent his chair rolling. I jumped at the sound of it smashing into the wall behind him. "I'm sorry," he said to me, but was too eager to address Carlisle to wait for my reply. "What happened to all lives being precious?"

"I have done my fair share of meddling in life and death. For once, such a decision must not fall to me and surely, you can understand that. The choice is Leah's—and death is not even guaranteed." I'd never seen Carlisle get upset before. I never thought the first time would be because of Edward.

"Neither are results guaranteed. That's more than enough reason for me to intervene."

I was happy to join in on the argument about me and my own freedom of choice. "Carlisle's right, Edward. This is one decision that I get to make and it has to be mine alone."

"As if I would stand by, idle, as you ran headfirst towards certain doom without certain result!" His eyes were feverish and his jaw clenched, although his next words still came out very clear. "I forbid it."

Different as the bond was, the strong words still gave my heart a familiar tug of involuntary obedience. It only served to piss me off. "That would've worked a couple of weeks ago. Not so much now."

"Leah, stop being ridiculous and be reasonable. It may actually make things easy, for once."

Ok, that one stung. "How high can the horse you're sitting on get? You're the one who was all determined to sever the bond before. God, I'm doing what you wanted!"

"Don't try to die and say it's an attempt to please me. I don't desire anyone's death, especially yours." The anger on his face dissipated, vanishing in place of shock. Panic flashed by before he settled into an unreadable, neutral expression. "I vote no, but it's your decision."

I peeked at Carlisle who looked awkward being there in the room with us. It was the first time we'd fought and I hated it more than anything. It only made it worse that his adoptive father was there to witness it. Edward was trying to keep me safe—albeit in a wrong, controlling way—and I'd fought him.

Maybe life didn't suck. Maybe I sucked.

"Well, if it's my decision, then I'll wait." I crossed my arms, making an effort not to look at Edward for his reaction.

"We're waiting, then," Carlisle assented with an uncomfortable expression still on his face. "Shall we move on to the results of today?"

Edward murmured, "Yes. Inform her of our similarities first."

"The fact that you have an extra chromosome at all means you have more in common with our kind than that of a human, Leah. Thus, we may theorize that we have similar sources of origin. The creation of vampirism is much older than shapeshifting. Both, however, seem to have the same building blocks."

Weird. All that time shapeshifters hated vampires, we resembled them. Polar opposites that are still somehow alike. Emily would have a field day recording this discovery in our people's history.

Edward remarked, "The files change a few things as well. Show her."

A dozen folders were laid out on the table, extra cold from how long Carlisle had held them. Edward dug in, opening them up and splaying them all out. He looked focused as his eyes flitted around all the images and tiny texts beside them.

Was he going to avoid speaking to me for the rest of the time?

"No," Edward murmured under his breath, turning to the next page of each of the folders.

Carlisle's eyes flicked between the two of us. I used to wonder what he thought about us, but now I was afraid to ask. "In there, you'll see that your brain chemistry isn't so many worlds apart as we may have assumed."

I looked at the folders, for some reason. I didn't understand a word in them, of course, but I glanced them over anyway. Just for kicks.

Edward stifled a laugh and I instantly knew we were going to be ok again. He held off a couple more seconds before he grabbed the arm of my chair and pulling me over to him. It was good to know it was just as difficult for him to stay mad at me as it was for me to stay mad at him.

He leaned over and pulled three folders out of the line, flipping around their pages. "Here." He picked up the one in the middle and handed it to me. I did a quick scan of the pages before trying to read the printed words.

"Ah," Carlisle hummed from the side when he saw what I was reading. "This one's very interesting."

"Wanna tell me why?" It didn't seem interesting to me just by looking at it.

"It proves there is a connection deeper than that of physiology or neurobiology. There is a link between yours and Edward's brains that is very strong. It's baffling to me, I have no idea how imprinting could do this. Although, I plan to find out." Carlisle started to grin like a mad scientist again, which was always a treat.

"Our thoughts aren't similar, neither are our reactions to different stimuli. But we share our emotions. This is one of the MRI scans that was taken earlier today." Edward pulled the second folder forward.

Inside were graphs under grayscale images, displaying a huge spike in...something. "I fear it would take longer than you're willing to sit through to give a thorough explanation of what you're looking at."

"Probably," I responded to my unfairly intelligent imprint. "But you could at least tell me if this is my brain I'm looking at."

"It's mine," he replied and then tapped the middle folder that was still on the tabletop. "That one is yours, but it says the same thing. You were thinking of our lunch yesterday and I overheard."

"It was a pleasant memory, triggering your precuneus to react." A glance at Carlisle showed me he was watching us closely. "Essentially, your brain reacted the same way you would when remembering a lovely night out with a dear one. It triggered a heavy release of dopamine and Edward experienced that same amount."

That was simple enough to understand. "So, we experience things on the same level. Like, we're on the same wavelength?"

"Oh, what a way to put it! You and Edward are so very close to being on the exact same _wavelength_ together. It's very special." Carlisle couldn't have been any more jazzed about it all, he was over the moon.

And what was Edward thinking? "I think that Leah is the special one. Strip away the imprinting and take me out of the equation entirely and she's still special. If we compare her to Seth—"

"You ran tests on Seth?" Oh, _hell_ no.

"Nothing harmful. I would've never allowed it," Edward reassured me, his hand slipping onto my shoulder. "We figured we should have something to refer to as far as another shapeshifter. It was a bonus that it was your sibling who agreed, one who even shares the same blood type."

Carlisle piped up, still smiling big. "It's been very helpful using him as an example of the ordinary shapeshifter. It has proven you're different from the others."

I sighed, slumping in my seat, taking it all in. "It's not surprising that the only female shapeshifter is the weirdest one."

"But it would seem all shapeshifters share the intolerance to vampire pheromones. It's mildly toxic to you. My theory is that this mild toxicity was what was preventing you from healing faster before. Well, that and the aftereffects of being poisoned with the most potent venom there is. Which is newborn saliva, Leah." Carlisle took the notepad out of his lab coat's breast pocket and jotted something down.

"Yeah, of course, it is. Why wouldn't it be? It might've actually hurt less had it been any other cold one."

Edward gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Be glad you've experienced the worst of it. Everything else will be easier for it."

Carlisle looked up from his notepad and smiled at me. "And let's not pretend you can't take a little bite. After all, you were willing to poison your blood before by cutting your foot open with—"

"God, I'd _love_ another lecture right now, with all my heart, but I really gotta go give Sam an update. He said he wanted to be kept updated, so." I shrugged and stood up, straightening out my shirt.

"Very well. I'll allow you an escape." He pointed at me and narrowed his eyes. "This time."

I smiled, happy to still be in his good graces. Esme had told me before that he didn't lecture people he didn't like. "Wanna come with? I'm pretty sure I'll butcher the whole thing."

"I'll be a bit busy today. Why don't you take Edward with you?" He gestured to Edward and when I looked back at him a wind stirred my hair from Carlisle's unseen exit.

Before I could say anything, Edward said, "I'm sorry."

"No, _I'm_ sorry."

"How could you be sorry? You only wish to reattain a normal life. You desire children, a husband, and I know I'm not enough—"

"You are enough. You're more than enough," I declared, keeping my eyes locked on his. "I can't imagine ever loving anyone more than I love you." The next sentence was surprisingly difficult to get out. "But I heard having a baby has the same effect."

Edward was deadly quiet as he stood up with me. He didn't reply, taking the few folders that Carlisle left behind into his hand. I watched him stack the papers and everything together, neat and precise. I'd promised myself I wouldn't do this to him. I wouldn't be a reason for him to frown, for him to grimace. Not until Bella was back, at least. Until she came back, I had to be the reason he could smile.

"It's sunny today," I mentioned, taking the folders he handed to me in his prolonged silence. "Do you have one of those sun umbrellas?"

He licked his lips and try as he did to fight it, his lips curved into a glistening smile. "A _parasol_."

"Yes. That."

"Alice has many, but they're rather feminine." Was there such a thing as a manly parasol? "That's a very good question. The answer is no."

I waved him off and went for the door, holding it open for him. "I'll be the masculine one today. After you, sweetheart."

He walked out, not before pausing in the doorway to give me a scowl with no bite. I snickered, following behind him since he knew the way out better than me. There were a lot of metal hallways with grates for floors that reeked of harsh disinfectants. Anyone could lose their way if they didn't know what they were looking for. With no sense of smell and a maze of identical passages, a vampire or a shapeshifter could get turned around.

A long ladder-climb up later and we surfaced into the sunlight that bathed my skin in warmth. I could breathe again without the air tasting like alcohol and bleach. Edward leaned against a tree, watching me in his insistent silence as I stretched. He was hiding in the shade while I practically tried to give the sun a hug.

"I'm not hiding."

"Then, come over." I held out a hand, pretending like the sun was so bright I had to squint. It was never actually that sunny in Forks.

He pushed off from the tree and strode over to me, slipping his hand into mine. It felt right and he shined his brightest, reflective and sharp, like the world's most masterfully cut gem.

"Have you ever thought of passing it off as body shimmer?"

"What?"

"To humans, it's can't be as clear. Shapeshifters are made to be able to recognize you and all your vampire ways. Humans would probably just think it's body shimmer if they saw you in the light. If you said you used body shimmer, the rumors about you would be a lot different." He smiled, in that way that let me know he thought I was crazy. "Just a thought."

"They'd ask why they wouldn't be able to see it in any other light. Besides, the goal is to fit in."

"Why wouldn't that be fitting in?" I asked, willing to die on my hill.

"Imagine if Emmett told a fifteen-year-old girl he uses her exact brand of body shimmer. Does that seem normal to you?" He won. I laughed my butt off, my voice carrying from the mountaintop.

He'd probably thought about all this already. Edward was contemplative and he'd had, like, ninety years to contemplate. I doubted I could think anything he hadn't thought a million times.

"That's not true. You think plenty of things that have never occurred to me. Your dreams are my favorite, though." He closed his eyes, a sweet sigh slipping from his lips. "They're so beautiful. Your dreams are unlike any I've ever seen."

"I dream different?"

"Yes," he murmured with a pleased smile. "And you often dream of the people you love. It's very endearing." His eyes lost their gleam and his lips twisted into a small frown. I didn't get to ask what was wrong before he commented, "I have yet to appear."

That was easy to explain. "I have the dreams I don't remember and the dreams I do. You appear in the dreams I do remember, the vivid ones." I found myself recalling the dream I had the night he left for Bella and panic put weight on my chest.

Edward's brow puckered when I blasted music through my head to keep him out. "Keeping secrets?"

"Tell me about your past. It must've been easier during the early ages when everyone wore hooded cloaks, huh? Sunlight wasn't a huge deal then." He didn't seem to like my refusal to speak about my dream. That was too bad.

"Hmph," he huffed, his eyes narrowing as he waited for me to slip up. I was willing to go all day if he was. "Fine. You win, for now. Mantle cloaks were common for a while and I took full advantage of them until coats overtook their place."

I pictured Edward pulling down the hood of a black cloak with white hands. He'd sparkle more brilliantly than the piles of snow all around him: An angel in ice. It made me wonder—

"What do you see me like? Am I extra hairy?"

He grinned, unintentionally striking. "Like a Sasquatch." The two of us had a childish little giggle, Edward laughing harder at my mental pictures. I started to pull away to head back down the mountain, but he tightened his hold on me. "You look human," he murmured.

"Shocking."

"But you burn brighter right before you phase. It's like watching a wick of a candle suddenly burst into flame." He looked down at our hands. "It's beautiful. So very different from anything I've ever seen."

I drew close to him again and slid my hand up from his, taking ahold of his forearm. In turn, his fingers wrapped around my arm, his touch a gift I didn't deserve. "Like a flame, huh? Then what?"

"Then you look like a big wolf." I snorted at the lackluster end to his description and he chuckled. "You know, if you phased now, we could have that race you've been wondering about for days."

I tore away from him, yanking off my boots and throwing them. Edward caught them both and turned around so I could strip down. "Where are we racing to? Your place?"

"It's as good a finish line as any."

"But what are the _stakes_?" I already had a million embarrassing things for Edward to do in my head. Alice giving him the makeover that was intended for me being one of them.

"Sure, it can be the makeover. If you win, I get it. If I win, you sit through it and let Alice do her will. The catch is you have to go out in public afterward."

I took a deep breath, trying to wrest up the dormant heat flowing through my veins. "Sounds like you have yourself a deal, fangs." When the heat shied away, I had to jog in place and get my pulse up to get it back.

With Edward around, anger couldn't be my source of phasing. I used anticipation instead. It felt different, less like a sharp, unbearable explosion and more like an overflow. The same as when you left a pot of water on the stovetop too long and it bubbled over.

It helped that phasing got easier the more you did it, too. I fell forward with my hands out and I landed on a set of paws. Edward turned around, arms crossed as he examined my wolf form, an openness in his eyes.

"Your fur shimmers like mercury when you move." He came over and ran a tentative hand through my fur. It brought a pleasant chill to my spine.

No one made a comment or felt disgusted at my exchange with Edward. It was radio silence. Was anyone phased except for me?

"Doesn't sound like it," Edward murmured, tilting his head to the side and letting his eyes close. He was a perfect statue for a moment, but then he opened his striking eyes that were darker that day, the shade of honey. "We're alone," he whispered and it made my heart skip.

There was no time to waste.

We had to race before Paul phased and put me in a bad mood. Edward had a smirk on his lips as we went over to the edge of the mountain's overlook, the path back down a sharp turn to our left. He didn't turn toward it as I did, facing the big blanket of green that was between us and his house instead. I could actually see the house when I squinted. It wasn't that far, but far enough to where I could full-sprint all the way back with no problem. The race itself wasn't going to last more than eight minutes, I'd say.

I was _so_ going to win this.

"Are you ready?" Edward asked, hands clasped behind his back like he wasn't concerned. I knew better. He was poised, his every muscle was probably clenched in anticipation, just like mine were. "Set." I bent my legs, hitting his side with my tail, listening to the rich chuckle that emanated from his chest. "Go!" He leaped off the side of the mountain, stone crumbling down into dust from the force he'd used.

Crap.

I made to jump off, too, but I knew my legs would break and that would waste more time than I had. No, I had to run—but the path would be too slow and Edward was soaring through the air like a bird. There was only one thing I could do.

Every ounce of strength I had, I put into my legs. My paws pounded into the side of the mountain as I ran faster than I could fall. I pushed off from the stone wall when the ground approached and shot into the forest.

A gap in the trees took me pretty far until a huge alpine ruined everything. I torqued my body in the air so that I slowed down and landed just before I could smash into the tree's trunk. In seconds of sprinting, I was within smelling distance of Edward.

I couldn't think of a time I'd run this fast before. Even in the newborn battle, I hadn't run as fast as I did to catch up and surpass Edward. That's because this was more important than life and death. I _needed_ to beat him. My life would never be complete until I saw Edward wearing pantyhose and a babydoll dress.

Edward's laugh echoed through the forest, closer than I thought it'd be. I was really on his tail now.

"You won't beat me. I've never been beaten in a race." Awfully cocky. "I'm only being honest. I'm not even using my full speed right now."

He really should've been going full-tilt because I could see his back now and I was gaining fast. He sped up at my thought, but so did I. I'd spent most of the race playing catch-up, but now that I was actually beside him, it got real that I could beat him.

And then _I_ got too cocky.

I was too busy looking towards the house that had come into view to watch where I was going. I fell into a hole between two large tree roots, victory slipping out from between my claws. I completely ate it, my nostrils filling with moist soil.

I rolled over onto my back in my little hole and howled, not bothering to try and recover. I only stopped to sneeze and then I could hear the chorus of laughter coming from the house. There wasn't any point in getting up, so I laid there, in the dust, right where Edward had left me.

God, I hated not winning. I was gonna have to beat Emmett in a quick round of rock-paper-scissors to reduce the sting on this one.

"Come on. Alice is waiting and I want to watch every moment." Edward was back, scooping me out of the hole. I howled again as he held me, carrying me toward my doom.

I should have won—he wasn't even that fast!

"Don't be a sore loser," Edward chastised with a big grin on his face.

I bared my teeth at him, but when Alice came dashing out of the house and onto the porch, I played dead. She made a soft "tsk" noise and Edward laughed as I was exchanged from his arms into Alice's tinier ones. She was too ruthless to even let Edward carry me to the totally unfair consequence of a loss that wasn't even valid.

"You lost fair and square!" Edward declared and I opened my eyes to see he was actually following us. Ugh, he wanted to watch. "Shouldn't I? You would've watched Alice work her magic on me, had I been the one who lost."

I went limp again, playing dead and remembering the one song I knew by heart from Edward's Liszt collection. I liked to keep him out of my head when he pissed me off. It usually made him pout, but this time he laughed. He thought it was all so hilarious now. He wouldn't later.

"I'm pretty sure that I will," he commented. If I didn't love him so much, I'd hate him.

"Not a word out of you any of you! No one had better disturb us, it's makeover time!" Alice declared as she skipped through the living room with me in hand.

"Rose'll kill ya when she sees you made Flash all pretty without her," Emmett said as we passed.

Alice giggled, the sound high and musical. "It will be fine. I'll see her coming."

It wasn't long before I got tossed into a tub in Alice's bathroom that was already full of hot water and bubbles. So, she'd clearly known from some other vision that I was going to lose and hadn't warned me. I didn't even have to ask why. She'd expressed just the other day at lunch with me and Edward that she missed doing my hair and makeup.

"I know you like to follow her everywhere like you're the lost puppy, but you're not allowed in here. Out!" She pushed Edward out of the bathroom and locked the door with a frustrated sigh. "Sheesh, you two are very difficult to separate. You know that?"

I phased back and sank low into the bubbles. "I'm his provisional best friend."

"I don't think Edward's ever had a best friend. Even Bella wasn't his best friend."

"No, she's only the love of his life," I commented, earning a playful glare from Alice. "Anyway, he's the only one who minds seeing me naked. I don't care about who sees me naked anymore."

Alice shuddered. "I can't even imagine being in your position."

"There were some disturbing thoughts in the beginning. But once I started phasing, everyone started watching porn a lot less. Some of them still refer to my first controlled phase into the pack as 'judgment day'." Emmett laughed from downstairs while Alice gave a sly smile.

"In any case, I do appreciate what you've done for my silly brother. He hasn't smiled this much since—"

"Alice," Edward said from the other room, stopping her in mid-thought.

She gave an apologetic smile and then settled on choosing a robe for me to wear once I go out of the tub. After a bit, she asked, "Doesn't it smell so lovely in here?"

"It's like I'm inside of a chocolate cake." She turned around clapping her hands, all giddy and gleeful. "What?"

She flashed her set of too-white teeth. My eyes were sharp enough even in my human form to recognize that I wasn't looking at human bone. And it was only little things like that reminded me they were vampires nowadays. My mind and senses had started tuning everything else out, accepting their kind as well as they did my own.

"Not only is your nose adorable, but it's keen, too. I mixed two scents together—chocolate icing and sweet batter. Your guess was exactly right!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yippee."

"Oh, cut the attitude, Leah! We're _going_ to have fun, even if it's not the private girl time I'd hoped it would be." She had a sour look on her face as she pulled the plug out of the drain.

As the water swirled down the drain, the cover of the bubbles started to leave with it. Alice began humming a song I vaguely recognized at a pitch fitting for a hummingbird. I realized fast why she was doing it.

"He knows what I look like naked, Alice. Everyone saw me back in the clearing."

"Even still," she replied before swiftly resuming her humming.

The Cullens were prudes. I never imagined vampires as prudes. But, I decided I'd humor it and started thinking of my own song as I climbed out of the deep tub. Alice had chosen a deep red robe for me that was made of crushed velvet. It was soft...I kind of liked it.

"Darn it, Alice," I said with a sigh as I examined the sleeves of the robe. She chittered, clapping her hands as she watched me.

When we made it back out to her room, Edward was waiting on her's and Jasper's bed. The book in his hand turned into decoration as he glued his eyes to the two of us. He didn't want to miss a single detail of this experience, the same way I wouldn't have wanted to.

I grimaced. He grinned.

"You want to know why you lost?" Alice asked me, sitting me down in front of her vanity. Her and Rosalie had matching ones, but Rosalie's had way more makeup.

I thanked the gods for that small mercy.

"You're so dramatic," Edward accused from behind me on the bed, grinning all the while.

"Tell me why I lost," I said, ignoring the beautiful demon behind the two of us, poised on the bed with bright eyes.

"You know I can't see you, but I have a theory and it's a good one." She swept my wet hair over my face and then bunched it up to my forehead. "You need bangs, obviously."

I cringed. "No."

"But you can't see through your shaggy fur when you run! Why else would you have tripped? You wouldn't have. You're amazing, the fastest, the prettiest, the awesomest. It was that pesky shaggy fur that compromised your vision—but it would be a _crime_ to cut it any shorter. A tragedy for the ages," she said with such conviction that I believed her.

"Shorter hair would suck," I mumbled. She nodded vigorously in agreement. "No one's ever tried having bangs before, though. I mean…it _could_ work."

She leaned over my shoulder, her flawless face shining next to mine as she rubbed my arms. "It definitely could. Bangs—fringe, specifically, would also look great with your facial shape."

Edward perked up while I deflated into the chair. He knew my decision and Alice read him like a book. She was smiling even before I said, "Fine. Do it."

"I had a feeling you'd say that," Alice told me in a singsongy voice, giving my cheek a peck. "I'm still planning that event, by the way," she said out of the blue and patted my arms before standing straight.

I glimpsed Edward in the mirror, visibly paler than before. His grin had disappeared. "What's wrong?" I tried to stand up to get to him, but Alice pushed me right back down.

"Nothing is wrong." That was a lie. So, the event had a direct link to Edward. Now, I was dying to know what the event was all about. "It's not important. I'll tell you later."

Alice stilled, her fingers froze in my hair. " _Will_ you tell her about it, Edward?"

He didn't answer his sister, smiling at me in the mirror instead. "Bangs should suit you very well. I also like the idea of a physical reminder of today."

"Rub it in, cold one. I'll get you back." He chuckled at my threat and then Alice got started on my hair.

First, she evened out my hair into a neat bob from the jagged cut I'd given it. According to her, it was the perfect style for waking up and going about my day without bothering. It could double as chic with just a bit of straightening before a formal event, too. Every time someone used the word "event" now, it felt like my ears perked.

"Close your eyes if you're so nervous," she murmured when my heart skipped a beat as she held the scissors to about eyebrow-level.

She didn't understand why it was so significant for me. The last time my hair was cut was the day after my dad's funeral and I'd done it by myself. I'd had long hair up until that point and it was a few hours after that when I jumped off of a roof and learned how fast I healed. Haircuts weren't an exciting thing for me anymore.

Edward started frowning. "Alice, stop. She doesn't want this."

"Too late!" Alice snipped off the length before Edward could stop her and my heart stopped.

The anxiety disappeared quick and I knew Jasper was helping me out within seconds. Because of that, I could take a breath and actually see how nice the bangs looked on me. I liked them and I was looking forward to being able to see better while phased.

"They're curtain bangs, something that I'm positive is going to blow up in a few years or so," Alice informed me. She was watching me closely, waiting for my reaction.

Jasper's effect eased off as I admitted, "I like it."

"I know." Alice beamed and started singing under her breath as she cleaned up the mess of hair trimmings on the floor.

I glanced at Edward's reflection in the mirror and he heard me thinking about him. The smile that had been stuck on his face broadened when we met eyes and I sighed, but smiled back with a roll of my eyes.

"What's next?"

Alice stopped her cleaning to turn the chair around, facing me toward the natural light of the window. "It's makeup time and— _ooh_ —I'll paint your nails to see if it'll show up on your claws or not! Then, the clothing and accessorizing part begins, which is arguably the best part of all this. Now, I bought fourteen dresses in preparation for this day that I hoped would come. You're going to try every one of them on before you leave this room."

"C'mon, Al. Give her a break," Emmett piped up from downstairs.

"I am!" She repudiated the accusation, hugely insulted. "I was going to order thirty-three. Jasper talked me down to fifteen and then Rosalie stole one, so she's getting a big, _big_ break."

"Thanks again, Jasper," I called.

"Yep," he replied from the kitchen where he was helping Esme cook me a big lunch.

It would be past lunch by the time Alice was done with me, so I'd have a late lunch and then go straight to Emily's. It was a safer bet finding Sam there than at his own home. I guessed it was the same way with me and Edward's house. Although, Edward and I had been back to my house twice. He was winning her over, one dinner at a time. Seth adored him already, though.

I hoped Mom or Seth wouldn't be around to see my stupid makeover. "Your mother will love to see you wearing makeup. Wasn't it just yesterday that she was asking you to use some of the lipstick she'd bought you?"

"Could you not make this worse for me? I'd appreciate it." Edward just chuckered to himself, so pleased over rubbing salt in my wounds. I'm not saying I wouldn't have done the same to him, but it wasn't as fun the other way around.

"This is my favorite day," Edward murmured, causing everyone in the house to laugh.

Back at the reserve, Paul and Quil would be the most obnoxious. And I would sooner kill Collin than let him see me with makeup and a dress on, his little crush on me was bad enough as it was. The loss kept on getting more and more devastating.

At least Jacob wouldn't be around to see me, though.

"Bright side," Edward murmured from the bed where he'd gone back to reading.


	9. Chapter 9

### Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.

"Stop staring," I barked at Collin.

He had insisted on coming over to Emily's when he'd heard me and Edward arrive. He hadn't stopped staring since he barged in, uninvited. My loss of the race was the hellish gift that kept on giving.

"Seriously, I'll hit you so hard you won't be able to see."

"Ok," Collin whispered like he was in a daze.

Edward thought it was all just _hilarious_. The gratified little smile on his face said everything for him as he spoke to Sam about our connection.

The other times I'd brought Edward to the reserve, he couldn't force himself to smile too often due to the smell. Now, he couldn't wipe the smile off of his face. What did he have to say for himself?

"It's a good day is all," Edward defended himself. His beautiful, irritating as hell smile only widened at my skeptic thoughts.

"Sam, you almost done?" I asked, pushing off of the wall I'd been leaning on. Collin had been leaning on that same wall, an inch or two away from me.

Sam didn't even give me the respect to look up from the folder he was examining as he answered. "We _would_ be if you didn't keep distracting Edward."

What a lie. I'd been leaning quietly against a wall for an hour. "I'm not distracting anyone, Sam. You just have a thick skull."

" _I_ have a thick skull? _I_ have a—where's the precuneus, Leah?" He held up a scan of a brain. I wasn't even sure which machine had made the scan I was looking at. "Where are the meninges? Name all the lobes of the brain."

"You suck, Sam."

Edward held up a fist to his mouth, laughing into it at my expense. And even though I was super annoyed, I couldn't help but smile at the wonderful sound. It was so musical, so lovely that it was almost confusing when I saw no one was swooning over it like I was.

I strolled over to Edward and placed a hand on his shoulder that he reached up to hold. "I'll shut up," I decided. It was a decision, not a surrender.

"Edward, you're saying shapeshifters have more in common with vampires than humans. Is that the same for vampires?" Sam asked as he pored over the papers, a crease between his eyebrows.

"It is. We've yet to figure out the causation of the resemblance," Edward answered, right on time. I guessed I had been distracting him, after all.

Edward glanced up at me at my thought and shot me a bright smile before paying his attention back to Sam.

His finger nestled between mine as Sam replied, "It's magic. Magic is what binds us all. It's also what our honorable spirit warrior ancestors subsisted on. Some of them didn't even eat, using magic for strength instead. Taha Aki was the most proficient spirit warrior to date."

"Interesting." From Edward's tone alone, I knew he was hearing something he liked from Sam's thoughts. "Do many of you believe in magic?"

"The older generations and the shapeshifters." Sam threw me a glance as he said, "Leah had a hard time coming around on it. I have a good story about that actually that."

"I would love to hear it." Edward looked up at me again and I stifled a laugh. "What?" He asked, his smile almost as big as mine.

"Nothing," I answered, feeling how my smile grew when he gave me a crooked grin.

Sam was quick to call sternly, "Leah."

"I know, I know. I'm distracting." I pulled my hand out of Edward's after giving it a light squeeze. "Find me when you're done, fangs."

"I'll see you soon." Not soon enough. "Very soon, I promise."

I made a soft grunt before I charged out of Emily's, Collin running after me. If Emily had been around, I would've hung out with her there until Edward and Sam finished up, but she was at work. It was easy to forget the simple, monotonous things about life. Things like jobs, mortgages, and student loans faded away when you existed in two worlds. All the little things slipped through the cracks of my brittle bridge bearing the weight of two whole worlds of issues.

"Your mom's been hangin' around Charlie," Collin mentioned, keeping pace with me. He was my spy, the net under the brittle, gapped bridge I'd built. Anything I didn't know, he'd usually tell me.

"That's nice."

A light, freezing drizzle softened the soil and my stilettos sank deep into the ground with my every step. I could hear different pack members at home or out spending time with each other. They seemed quieter than usual—

"Wait, what? My mom's _what_?"

"I knew it'd get through eventually. Yeah, she's been hangin' round ol' Charlie." With his chin tilted up, he seemed so proud that he had something so big to drop on my head.

"What do you mean she's been 'hanging around Charlie'? She has no time outside of her job." Before I left, I'd carry my mom to her room a lot because she'd fall asleep in the car parked in the driveway.

"She's been taking time off. She waits for you a lot and sometimes I'll keep her company." Collin smiled when I threw a suspicious glance his way. "What? I like your mom, I think she's cool. She also created the most beautiful woman on earth."

I still couldn't get past the Charlie part. "Why Charlie, though? Of all the people in the world, Charlie Swan? The chief of police?"

"I don't think there's any need to be worried. Sam and Billy talked about it and decided to stay out of it. Charlie's, like, the least inquisitive police officer ever."

" _Chief_ of police," I grumbled my correction.

Chief was very different from a normal officer. An officer had a lot less influence. If Charlie ever found about us, it would cause a lot of trouble.

And my mom knew that, so why in the hell was she hanging out with him? I understood it when it was right after the funeral and they were both grieving over their best friend. Now, though? It didn't help that I was also the reason Charlie had lost his best friend and now his daughter. I hoped to God I could genuinely avoid ever seeing him again.

"Hey, Mrs. Clearwater!" Collin yelled, startling me out of my train of thought.

I'd autopiloted all the way through the reserve and past the long path that led to the more secluded homes. We were on the long trail that led to the land my ancestors had owned for generations. Only one house remained on the plot now, so it gave us a lot of space and tended to be the go-to for games of football or soccer.

My mom was on the porch of our small house, stood close to the patio furniture and the table with an open book. "Come inside, you two! I've been cooking all day—Emily lent me some recipes!"

"We can hear you even if you don't yell, Mom!" I called back and she waved me off, heading back inside.

I stopped walking and Collin was quick to stop with me. He looked up with his light brown eyes and asked, "What is it? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine and about to be way better." He frowned like he knew what was coming. He probably did after how many times we'd done this song and dance. "Time to go away. You're not welcome into my home."

"Well, actually, you live with the Cullens now, so it's your mom's house, not yours. And your mom told me I'm always welcome—so did Seth."

It hadn't hit me before, but Collin was right. I had a room at my mom's, but the house wasn't my home anymore. The Cullen house wasn't my home, either, to be honest. It only felt like home because Edward was there. So, when Bella came back, I could add homeless to the list of things I would be.

"I'll let you come inside if you stop making declarations of your undying love to me for five seconds."

"Eight years from now, you'll change your mind. Mark my words, Leah Clearwater, I'll make you fall in love with me."

I wanted to pull my hair out. "You can't make someone fall in love with you."

"But I can love you and wait until that wins you over. I know I'm thirteen—"

"And that should be the end of that thought," I cracked dryly.

"But if you love someone hard enough for long enough—"

"Collin, it's never gonna happen!"

Then, he amazed me by asking, "But why?"

" _Why_? Because it's not just your age, it's everything." He opened his mouth, but no sound escaped it when I shot him a sharp look. "Consider my history with imprinting. Why in the hell would I ever get involved with another shapeshifter?"

"Wait, that's it? That bloodsucker doesn't have anything to do with it?" He asked with a wrinkled nose like he caught a phantom scent of Edward.

He should be so lucky.

"Edward's not a ' _bloodsucker_ ' or a ' _leech_ ' or a ' _cold one_ '," I said, using generous air quotes. "But, no. It has nothing to do with him. So, just forget it, ok?"

And with the most earnest expression I'd ever seen, he told me, "I'll never forget it, Leah. I'm in love with you."

"It'll pass." I walked past him, groaning when he continued to follow after me.

"But if it doesn't, Seth and I could be brothers someday." I wasn't sure what face I was making when I looked back at him, but it made him quick to change subjects. "Speaking of Seth, that girl at his program is still all over him. He's still saying no."

I crossed my arms, overstepping a pothole. "That's because he's smart, unlike you or Jake. He's waiting for the right one and not stealing someone else's right one out from under their noses."

"You didn't hear from Jake recently, did you?" I shook my head, frowning when he looked disappointed. "He hasn't reached out to anyone in the pack. Sam's worried now."

"He told me about it. How's Billy doing?"

Collin's frown deepened. "Not too good. He's lonely and he misses you because he misses Harry." He sighed, stepping up onto my mom's porch with me. "It's Embry in there."

I pushed the door open and was a little impressed to see Collin was right. Embry was sitting on the couch, a half-finished hefty scoop of casserole on his paper plate. Paper plates and plastic silverware was key when the pack ate at someone's house. Emily still complained about the mountain of dishes we used to leave behind after she fed us.

"Hey, Embry," Collin greeted him, strolling right into the house. "'Sup?"

Embry ignored his existence, dark eyes boring into mine. "Leah," he said in a formal tone, bowing his head in a nod before he put his plate down on the coffee table.

I'd never seen him so solemn before. He usually smiled, even if it was a faint and disingenuous one after a fight with his mom. I couldn't imagine what had gotten him down if those arguments with his mom hadn't. He also looked different because of the patchy peach fuzz he was sporting on his cheeks.

I would've had to have stifled a laugh when I first saw him in any other situation.

"Hey, Embry," I murmured back, taking a wary step inside.

He held eye contact with me for a few more seconds before heading out of the glass, sliding doors, into the backyard. It was clear he wanted to talk—about what, I couldn't say. He wasn't the type to seek out revenge against people and that was all I could think of.

But, whatever came, I definitely deserved it. And then some.

"Collin, stay," I muttered as I followed Embry and his solemn expression out of the house.

I trailed him a good ways past the tree line that acted as a barrier for the backyard before he turned around to face me. The rain, still a pitiful drizzle, left his dark spots on his grey t-shirt and put a shine on his cheeks. His eyes seemed to shine, too. I hoped it was allergies getting to him.

He spoke first. "Nice dress," he said, making a limp gesture to my outfit.

"Thanks." My fingers itched to scrub off the mascara that made my eyes feel sticky and slow. I crossed my arms, tucking my hands away to resist the urge. "So, what's this all about?"

He cleared his throat and stuffed his hands in his jean shorts' pockets. "I decided it's time we…cleared the air, so to speak. Uh, like you did with Paul."

When I raised an eyebrow, the tips of his ears reddened and he held up his hands in the universal sign of surrender. "Misspoke a little there, didn't you?"

"A little," he admitted with a coy smile. It was a relief to see. "I just mean I wanna talk. Pack member to pack member."

I shrugged, trying to play off my curiosity as I said, "Sure."

He gave a soft nod and toed the soil with his clunky rain-boot. "Cool."

"Before we talk," I started, pausing to swallow my pride. "I wanna kinda get this out of the way and say sorry. Sorry for pretty much everything from these last couple of months."

"It's fine, I forgive you." He brushed aside what I thought would be a heavy talk with an impatient expression. "Now, we can talk about stuff. I also have sensitive info I don't want your cold one to know," he said and then pressed his lips into a taut line.

That definitely didn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Esme was wrong about forgiveness. " _Edward_ can read minds from a great distance."

"I know, but we're out of his range. Sam told me how far to go after he agreed I should talk to you."

It was an unspoken rule of the pack not to bother Sam unless we had a problem we couldn't fix without him. It was unprecedented that Embry would approach Sam about talking to me. _Me_ , of all people.

"I've been worried these days and Sam encouraged me to speak to you when I brought it up. He thought you were the best person to talk to about this since he's really busy right now. You have seniority and all that—in age, at least."

"Why's that relative?" He looked like he was going to be sick. I found myself walking toward him with a careful hand outstretched. "Embry? Are you—?"

"The pack's breaking apart, Leah." He clenched his jaw, the soft dimple in his chin becoming pronounced. "I don't want it to be true, but it is."

I'd wished for the pack to break up so many times in the past. It gave me no satisfaction now. "It's going through a rough patch, that's for sure."

"Rough?" He turned incredulous then, his hands balling into fists in his pockets. "Jake abandoned us for Bella, who's not even his imprint and shouldn't come above the pack. You're living with the Cullens, who are bound to move when people start mentioning how they don't seem to age. Brady's thinking of walking and stopping phasing altogether after experiencing you dying."

I walked over to a fallen tree, hopping up to seat myself on top of it. This wouldn't be a short talk. "It might be better for everyone to let the pack dissolve."

"Are you _kidding_?" His eyes lit up with anger like I'd never seen in him before. "An army of vampires almost ruined Forks and our land, Leah! They would've razed this place, just like they were doing in Seattle!"

I pursed my lips, squinting to spot a buck miles away and grazing. "Fair point." More like an _unfair_ point.

It was so unfair that all this responsibility fell on us and only ever us. Us, who didn't get to choose. Us, who didn't get to live even half of their lives before giving it all up. And for what? For this? Not worth it.

"If we hadn't been there to clean up the vampires' mess, I don't know what would've happened." He gritted his teeth and then he shook his head, like he was trying to shake it out of his brain. "I know you're scared after dying at the battle—"

"I am _not_ scared."

"Well, everyone else is!" Embry yelled and the tremor that ran through him almost shook his shoulders out of socket.

I straightened up on the tree, staring him down. "Cool it or I'll put you down."

He yanked his hands out of his pockets and flexed his fingers down by his sides. He puffed a breath through his teeth, shaking as steam rose off of his shoulders. "Collin's thirteen and Brady's almost thirteen. Do you know what it's been like for them?"

That awful, scratchy, heavy feeling grew in the pit of my stomach, the one that accompanied so many of my memories. "Enlighten me."

"When Seth phased and shared his nightmares with the pack, all hell broke loose. The string that had been holding us together snapped like it was nothing—even Sam struggles. He had no choice but to keep it together, though. He's pretty much adopted Brady to help him out. Collin's way worse off. His grades have dropped and he doesn't even draw anymore."

Collin had always been a terrible artist, but it never stopped him. He'd claimed all artists are horrible in the beginning. His tenacity was something to behold, it was actually my favorite thing about him. Of course, I'd be the one to destroy it.

What couldn't I destroy by glancing in its general direction? "I'm sorry, Embry. I can't fix it, but I—"

"You actually can. There's a way for you to fix everything and completely redeem yourself in the pack." He said everything I wanted to hear. Before I could question it, he said, "Jake's supposed to be the one in charge of helping the new recruits. As second, that was his job. But he's not here."

I didn't respond. I closed my eyes and let guilt ride through me. It seemed like it should've been impossible that so much was my fault. Indirectly or directly, it all tied back to my stupid mistakes.

"Everything's all screwed up in the pack now because the chain of command got screwed up. Jake's gone, Jared's not a good leader, and Sam's crazy busy trying to get married. Even when he tries to help, though, everyone pretends to be ok around him. They're afraid of disappointing him."

I snorted. "Yeah, no one would be scared of disappointing me."

"That's kinda why I'm hoping you'll say yes to this." He was tense again with the aura of a bowstring on the verge of snapping. "I can't stand it anymore. This pain, this suffering needs to end. The pack needs to be led out of this, it needs you to lead us."

"Needs me to do what?" He gave an annoyed look instead of answering me. "No. No way I get to be second after everything, after all my extremely public horrible decisions. What do Billy and Old Quil have to say about it? I know Sam had to ask for their advice."

Embry folded his arms across his chest. "I guess imprinting on a cold one is still more favorable than the sin of being born." He was trying to stonewall me, but I could see the pain in his eyes.

"Old Quil said that, didn't he?" Embry opened his mouth to respond, but I wasn't done. "Screw the ancestral bloodlines! I'm so _sick_ of everyone taking them so seriously. The bloodlines mean squat!"

He blinked, shocked by my outburst. "Old Quil would have a heart attack if he heard you say that."

"Screw Old Quil!" He smiled at that, the doom and gloom shifting into a lighter mood between the two of us.

I guessed that was how I could help. As second, I wouldn't be this respectable, honorable figure that the pack would fear. I would be approachable because of all my flaws, because of all my screwups. Maybe that was what they needed, someone who could empathize. I could follow my dad's example of kindness.

But would I ever just _be_ kind? Or would I always have to emulate all the better and more suitable leaders in my life? I could fake it 'til I made it, but underneath all the attempts to measure up to my dad would still be me. Leah, the destroyer. Leah, the unwanted. Even now, I wasn't actually wanted as the second, I was just the best out of a bunch of sucky options.

I wasn't the right choice. I couldn't do it, I couldn't step up. "Embry—"

"Y'know, I was kinda worried you were still the way you used to be. That you'd say no and chew me out for even asking you to help. But I can see the real Leah's finally come back." He was smiling, eyes full of hope, tired as they were.

And how could I say no? Doomed as I was to fail at being second, to fail at being better, I still wanted to try. Plus, Edward would be really proud of me for doing it.

"It's one hell of a return to come back to the pack as second." Embry gave a breathy laugh, nodding as he walked over to me. "Hey, let's see if we can make people's brains pop by bringing Edward to a council meeting."

He sat down on the tree beside me, his feet touching the ground, unlike mine which swung idly. "I'd pay to see the look on Billy's face."

"I'll take pictures." We fell into a round of snickers at the thought, the rain picking up toward the end of our laughter.

I was about to say we should head back inside when he said, "The sensitive info I wanted to talk about has to do with Jake. Since he's with Bella, I thought about Edward…" he trailed off, the meaning not lost.

"You were being thoughtful of Edward's feelings." I bit the inside of my cheek, a huge wave of gratefulness washing over me. Once it settled down, I gave a simple, "Thanks."

As if he could tell I'd undersold it, he smiled and nudged my arm with his elbow. "No problem, second. Anyway, Jake's been emailing me."

The light mood rolled off and away with the lighter storm clouds. It began pouring like the sky had a personal vendetta against the world. "What do you mean he's been emailing you?" What had he said?

Was Bella coming back early?

"He's been emailing me since about a week ago. I only told Sam about this, but I figure you should know before the others figure out at the meeting tomorrow."

"What's he been saying?" I didn't want to know. I wanted to go find Edward, pick him up and run as far and fast as I could.

But, God, I couldn't do it to him. I had to hear about Bella and make sure she was ok.

"He says he's in northern Europe and that Bella's super distant. Says she's different from the last time she and Edward separated."

And now there was something wrong with her? "Is she alright?"

"I mean, she's fine. Healthy and eating well, according to Jake. It's just that, sometimes, she disappears off without him and doesn't explain where she's been. She says someone's name in her sleep he doesn't recognize. He's more miserable than ever now and I'm so worried about him. I don't know if he's gonna be alright when Bella rejects him again." He looked at me with genuine concern and I was sure I looked concerned, too. Just not for the same reasons.

"I would go, but I became second a couple minutes ago. And since I have no idea where they are, I'd have to look and that'd take time—time I don't have right now."

His shoulders drooped, but he nodded his understanding. "I get it. Sam answered pretty much the same way."

I raked my fingers through my hair, strands sticking to my wet skin. "I'll do what I can." I tugged on my hair hard, threatening to tear it all out before I let go. "I'll try and bring 'em home." And that was that. I could consider Edward already gone.

"Thank you," he whispered, placing a hand on my back. "I knew you'd do the right thing."

Edward couldn't know any of this yet. I knew him well enough by now to predict his reaction. He'd panic and go looking and if he found something he wasn't prepared for, he'd crumble. And all that would be left of my Cullen is ash.

My heart twisted in my chest every time I imagined him with the Volturi, red eyes the last thing he ever sees. I had to protect him from himself—I'd deal with it, I'd carry it for him. And until I had good news to bring back to him, I couldn't bring any at all.

"Repressing it all?" Embry guessed. I nodded and heard him give a sigh. "It must suck having him able to read your mind. Does he know then?"

"Know what?"

"That you love him." I nodded. "I mean, that you're in love with him."

I almost snapped my own neck with how fast I looked over at him. "I'm not. Who the hell gave you that idea?"

He looked scared as he replied, "Sorry. It's just that Sam said—"

"Sam was wrong, ok? I'm not in love with Edward. You can't even fall in love with someone in such a short amount of time. For God's sake, we haven't even spent that much time together!" I forced a laugh through my throat, managing a shaky, breathy noise. "It's not like that."

"Right. Not yet, anyway."

"Not ever."

Embry stared at me for a second before he started slowly nodding. "You're right. Not ever. You can control it." I nodded with him, satisfied with his answer. "And if you can't, you'll push him away before you'd let yourself fall. After everything with you and Sam? I can't see you doing that to a girl who's even younger than you."

I couldn't say anything to that. We ended up sitting in silence together and I watched the sun as it slowly dipped below the horizon. I spent the majority of the time trying to picture myself as a better person without Edward.

When I couldn't, I decided I was done thinking about it all. "Let's head back." I hopped off the tree, fixing the skirt of my dress.

"Yeah, wouldn't want your hair to get any worse than it already is. It looked like you'd worked hard on it."

I snorted. " _Someone_ did, anyway."

"Figured it wasn't you," he teased, smiling when I narrowed my eyes at him.

As we started walking back, I remember my mom. "Crap, The food's cold by now, so my mom's definitely pissed. As second, I order you to take the full brunt of her wrath. If you don't, you're out of the pack."

"Very funny."

"It's not convincing if you don't laugh," I retorted, getting another smile out of him.

"It smells good, at least," he commented, causing me to take a sniff.

I caught a whiff of the casserole and my stomach growled. "Collin said she's been cooking a lot these days. That true?"

"He told you about Charlie, huh?" Embry was a lot sharper than I thought he was. "With all the time she's taking off work to wait for you and Seth, she can get around to other things. I wouldn't worry about it. Charlie would starve if someone didn't feed him and your mom just misses taking care of people."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"Hey, if you ever wanna hang out, drama-free, you can call me. Like, if you ever need to get away from the cold ones, but don't really wanna hang out at the reserve." He grabbed my hand, helping me in stepping over a huge tree root.

"A bit random, but sure. We can hang out." As second, I needed to get to know my pack better anyway.

"Really?" I glanced at him when his voice sounded off. Was it that shocking that I'd hang out with him? I was even meaner than I'd given myself credit for. "I mean, cool."

"I can drop by your house tomorrow if you want. We can talk more about pack stuff or whatever." His face broke out into an excited grin that he kept up the whole way back to my mom's

We walked in to see Seth eating casserole on the couch. His cheeks were full like a chipmunk's when he smiled at the sight of us. "Mmm!" He jumped up and scooped me into a bear hug. I hadn't been able to catch him this past week.

"You're gonna kill me," I choked out as Seth squished me in a bear hug.

He put me down and swallowed the last of his huge bite. "Leah! I missed you!"

"Missed you, too," I grumbled, wincing at the dull ache when I breathed. "Where's Mom?"

"Here," she said from the kitchen entrance. I glanced over and in her eyes saw the depth of hell. "Nice of you to grace us with an appearance. Nice haircut, too."

Torn between groveling and begging for my life, I bought myself time by saying, "The haircut is a new thing. Like, it happened just a few hours ago type new. And I was only out for an hour."

"Try three."

"I'm sorry, but I promise I had a good reason." She raised an eyebrow at me, a sign that I was going to die if I didn't nail my excuse. "I got offered the position of second."

A slow smile softened her face and for a moment, she looked as happy as she used to be all the time. "That's my girl." She nodded her head back toward the kitchen. "I baked a cake today, now we have the perfect reason to eat it. Go get changed."

"Yes, ma'am."

Seth gave me a thumbs-up as I passed him and Embry punched his arm, starting an impromptu sparring match. As I headed upstairs, I heard Seth shout, "No fair! That's your dominant hand!"

I was looking forward to changing out of my soaked dress until I reached the top of the stairs. A faint scent stole my focus, one that led me straight into my room from the hallway. It was...warm. Metallic, almost. My stomach dropped as I chased it to my window, but the trail went cold there.

Something had been in my room. Something...strange.

I got down onto the floor on my hands and knees, spying something in the beige carpet. It was a dark, earthy red. Too acidic to be anything I'd tracked in and tinged with that metallic smell.

"Hello," I whispered as I picked up the foreign pebble.

People got all types of things in their shoes that they left behind without even realizing it. I was already considering it was a person who'd invaded my private space, but this made it clear. And one whiff from the pebble told me it wasn't native to Forks. It couldn't be from this region, I'd never smelled anything like it.

So, not something. Someone.

I'd mention it to Sam later, but I put the pebble in my empty jewelry box until I could. The paranoid side of me also forced me to pull my blinds closed before I changed.

"Why do you keep laughing?" Embry asked Seth as I tuned into their conversation.

"Because of your weird, patchy facial hair." I listened to Seth bolt and Embry murmured to be excused before going after him.

I called, "I can't save you! I'm second now so I can't show favoritism!" Seth gave out a tiny whimper. I listened long enough to hear Collin run out o this house to help.

I ended up changing into a baggy sweatshirt and flannel pajama pants I'd had since high school. Smelling like home again was a relief and I put on some of my perfume to help the stench of cold ones. Embry had wrinkled his nose on the way back to the house when he thought I wasn't looking. I added an extra spurt of perfume at the memory.

When I jogged back down the stairs, my mom was sitting in one of the two chairs by the fireplace. She'd made me a plate of chocolate cake with a scoop of ice cream on top and was eating hers as she stared into the fire. I made sure to make noise as I approached my chair so I didn't scare her.

"No dinner?" I asked her as I sat down, draping a fluffy blanket over myself.

"You get to skip to dessert tonight," she replied before eating another scoop of cake.

After we'd both eaten and drank our small glasses of milk, we moved on to hot chocolate. She'd always had a huge sweet tooth, one that Seth had inherited. The glaze she made for sale was even a bit sweet. I just liked food in general, so it didn't matter to me. Dad had been the picky eater.

"Did Edward drop by in the three hours I was out there?"

"He came by a few minutes after you'd left and heard Embry speaking to you. He smiled at something and left you a message. Call him." She snuggled deeper into the old, ratty blanket she'd had since she married Dad. "He said to use the lab number."

I got up after a little longer and used the kitchen's landline to call Sam. I could hear Emily giggling in the background when he picked up and said, "Hey."

"Hey, Sam. I accepted the position."

"I knew you would." Emily started laughing louder at something and he chuckled into the speaker. "Anything else or can I get back to what I was doing?"

"Bring Jared around later. He needs to familiarize himself with the weird scent in my room."

Emily's laughter died down and I heard the telltale sound of a door clicking shut. "A vampire? Jared's been smelling an unfamiliar one around the edges of the reserve."

"Has he? I'll ask Edward about it. But no, this isn't a vampire. Or a human. Or a shapeshifter." He was silent, considering my words. "It's not natural."

"Yeah, I got that." He let out a long sigh. For the first time, I felt bad for him and his role as alpha. It had to be hard, always having to fix everything. "We'll discuss it tomorrow, before the meeting where we announce Jared is stepping down."

I felt my eyebrows inch up on my face. "Oh, so he knows?"

"He's about to. I'm calling him after we hang up. He's my best friend, but...it's bad, Leah. Any second is preferable, not to say you aren't a good choice."

"I know no one thinks so right now, but I'll prove I'm the best choice." I had to. Even if I screwed it all up in the end, I wanted them to believe in me until then. "Will Emily be ok with you spending more time away from her?"

He chuckled the sound warm and full of love. My heart twinged with jealousy, not for him, but for his luck. He was in a perfect position with his imprint. "She takes interruptions better now because she has the honeymoon to look forward to."

"Paige and I have the bachelorette party planned already. She should be psyched about that, too."

"She's more psyched that you'll be there, honestly. She's been glowing since you two started talking again." I smiled, twiddling with the phone's cord. "Alright, I'll let you go so I can take care of things. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow."

"Yep. Tomorrow." I hung up then and dialed the mountain lab number.

I expected Carlisle's voice, but Edward picked up instead. "Hello, Leah," he greeted me warmly. I tried and failed to suppress a grin. "Are you ready to come back?"

"Ah, about that," I mumbled, a nervous hand lurching up to awkwardly gesticulate. "I have some good news for you."

"Is that so?" He'd probably heard Embry's plans to ask me to become second. Thank God he didn't hear what he knew about Bella. "I'll be there shortly."

"Not driving, then?"

I heard Carlisle murmur something unintelligible and Edward hummed an acknowledgement. "No. If it's good news, I imagine I won't be staying very long. I'll simply run."

"Ok. Come straight to my mom's. Let yourself in."

"I will. See you soon."

"Mhm."

I hung up and went back to the loveseat to chat with my mom. She had a lot to say about how I should run the pack and bring order to it. She said that as the only woman, I had to be a second that outshined even the alpha in my tact, loyalty, and leadership. But I could see she was happy for me, happy that I finally won one.

Edward came in a few minutes later and I flipped up a side of the blanket so he could sit next to me. After he settled in, I covered his legs with the blanket and took his hand in mine. He didn't say a word and my mom and I just carried on talking as he watched us.

"Tell me you didn't buy the miracle dicer," I said when she kept going on and on about the ad on TV. "Tell me you didn't pay fifty bucks just to julienne some carrots, Mom!"

"It was a very persuasive commercial. And for the fifty bucks, I also got a tiny steamer and another miracle dicer thrown in for free." That was the one thing she was bad at. Buying "as seen on TV" garbage that she was never going to use. "Don't judge me."

"It's already done." She laughed and Edward joined in. "Does it work?"

She scoffed. "Why do you think I've been cooking so much?" That was when I had to laugh, too.

It was a bit before Edward started speaking up and joining in on our conversation. Seth came back in the middle of us telling Edward the story of our people's spirit wards and hogged it. To be fair, he knew the most details about it all. He'd always been a history buff. He sat on the arm of Mom's recliner and spared no detail.

Edward's arm curled around my shoulders and I leaned into him, the act natural as I argued with Seth. "There were no dragons in the spirit wars. Period."

"Were too!"

"Were not! Dragons don't exist!"

He sniffed, putting on a pouty face. "Well, technically yeah. They're extinct now."

"You're such a child," I accused, rolling my eyes. "Only children believe in dragons."

"That's not true!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Ok," Mom said, interrupting the spat. "Enough of that."

I dropped it. Because I was right.

Edward chuckled. "If only I'd been alive at that time. I could end the argument here and now."

"I'm sure you have lots of great stories," Seth said, eyes getting all big with childlike wonder. "Could you please share one?"

"What would you like to know about the nineteenth century?"

Seth's jaw dropped and I whispered, "Good luck."

The sheer amount of questions Seth had for Edward made my head hurt. The insane thing was that Edward had an answer for his every question. He even seemed to enjoy the machine gun of inquiries that was my little brother. I didn't understand half of it, so I focused on snacking and having sideline conversations with my mom.

Mom lost all interest with me when Edward started to tell a story featuring a foreign diplomat, a pumpkin, and a dog. I couldn't blame her for being sucked in by his storytelling. He had such an amazing way of saying things. Edward could've made a retelling of stepping on an ant interesting. He had my mom dying laughing a few times while I would watch with a smile that hurt my cheeks. She hadn't laughed so hard since—…just a while.

"I'm stealing the story. I'll say it happened at some costume party," Mom said before getting up and stretching out her arms. She was still smiling as she said, "I have to get to bed. I have work tomorrow and I have to cook Charlie breakfast before that."

"Yeah, and I have to study," Seth said, getting up, too. He came over to give me a hug.

"How is Charlie?" Edward asked as I was squeezed, a note of concern in his voice.

Mom thought on it for a second before she said, "Terribly, terribly depressed. No point in lying, right?"

"Right," Edward whispered back. Seth pulled out of the hug and gave Edward a reassuring smile before going up to his room.

I rested my hand on Edward's shoulder. "Charlie'll bounce back quick, though. Isn't that right, Mom?"

"I suspect he'll internalize it soon, yes." I heard Seth turn on his game system and in the same second, Mom yelled, "Study and then get to bed, young man!"

I listened to him sigh and turn off his game before he opened up his backpack and take out his homework. "Did you hear it?" I asked her as Seth flopped down in his chair at his desk.

"Didn't have to. It's a sixth sense you get when you become a mother." Without meaning to, she pricked me with a spot of pain. I kept it off my face, but Edward tensed beside me.

"Yeah, I bet."

Mom lingered instead of heading up, an indecisive look on her face. She probably wanted to stay a bit longer to talk. "Edward, I have some blood for you. Emily's father slaughtered a buck in my garage since Emily wouldn't allow him to in her's and he left all this blood behind." Well, I was dead wrong.

But that reminded me, every time Emily invited her dad onto the reserve, he'd hunt for days. He was an avid hunter who insisted on wearing his camouflage tuxedo to every formal event. I wouldn't have been surprised if he wore it to the wedding. If he didn't, I was out twenty bucks, courtesy of the pack's betting pool.

As for the blood, there was no way I was letting Edward drink it. It was stale, or something. "He's not drinking that. It's gross, Mom."

But Edward, being too kind for his own good, said, "I would actually love to take it home to my family. Thank you for your thoughtfulness, Mrs. Clearwater."

"See, Leah? It's a good thing I held onto it for him." She looked proud of herself. Oddly, I was kinda proud, too. She'd thought of my imprint and actually cared. "It's in the fridge. I'm going to bed now."

"Goodnight," he said with a dazzling smile.

Her cheeks gained a pink tint before she turned around and went for the stairs. When she was in her bathroom, washing her face, I turned to Edward. He was still smiling, obviously pleased with the headway he was already making with my mom.

"I think that's the first time you hung out with me and my family."

"It is," he confirmed. "I enjoyed every second of it. You're all so close."

I sucked my teeth, squinting at the fire. "Clearwaters stick together. Go get your blood, I have to use the bathroom."

He nodded and I got up, heading upstairs to take care of business. While I was washing my hands, I checked my reflection. The bangs made me look more mature. I looked in the mirror and saw a woman in my clothes, a faded red still coating her lips. She looked alive, happy. That's how I knew she couldn't be me.

I would never be allowed to be happy.

When I jogged back downstairs, Edward was waiting by the front door with his bucket in hand. I gave a mocking smile as I said, "Always good to have a snack for the road."

He was grinning as he asked, "Did you ever expect your mother to give me this?"

"No." I walked past him, grabbing his free hand to tug him outside, onto the porch. "Not without cooking it into something, at least."

He replied instantly, "Perhaps next time she'll make it into gelatin for me. She can use her miracle dicer to slice it into neat cubes."

I laughed, holding a hand to my chest as I shook my head. My mom was so prudent about everything else, so pragmatic. And it was always something about cooking that got her to dial the number. I would never understand.

Edward's eyes were twinkling when he said, "Everyone has a method of making themselves feel better."

"What's mine?"

"Seeing me."

"And yours?"

He opened his mouth, only to close it again with a confused expression. Eventually, he said, "Seeing you, I suppose." I was so pleased I felt like I was going to burst. His eyes glittered at me, but he turned his face away. "Let's talk about something else."

"Sure. I made second."

"No way," he whispered, looking back into my eyes with impatience scrawled all over his face. I remembered Embry offering me the position and Sam's words on our call. "Leah, you don't owe it to anyone to lead. What you want for yourself couldn't be farther from what they're asking of you."

He was right. I didn't want to phase and I didn't want to lead. But I hadn't particularly wanted to imprint on a cold one, either. Now, I couldn't imagine where I'd be without him. Some of the best things in my life were things I never thought I'd want.

"But I wanna help. I do. This is something I want, even if it scares me and even if it puts off stopping phasing for good. It's not like I can manage to do that right now anyway. So, shouldn't I at least try and help?"

His face broke out into a beautiful crooked grin. "Congratulations, second." I grinned back at him for less than a second before he wrapped me up in a hug.

I laughed and looped an arm over his shoulder, winding the other around the side of his left arm so I could lock my hands around his back. The scent of him covered me again, but I didn't care. I didn't care if Embry scrunched his nose up or Collin got all pissy because of it. I just wanted him to hold me closer. It shocked me when he actually did, his grasp tightening on me until I was pressed snugly up against him.

If I said I melted into him, it would have been an understatement. My eyes closed by themselves, without any thought from me. My hands unlinked from each other so that my palms could lay flat on the hard plane his back. My body accepted his cold like it was mine to begin with and had been sorely missed.

The bond began taking over, but it felt different. It wasn't the usual force of nature I always had to abide by on some degree of my soul. This was a lovely swell of something in my chest that made tears gather in the corners of my closed my eyes.

I allowed the to swell grow and overcome me. It pushed down on my heart until it was almost crushed under the weight of it. My throat was so full from it that it was a wonder I could even continue breathing. But, somehow, I did.

I let out a shivering sigh while I was pulling away. He retreated at the same time as me and I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I was terrified of what I'd find on my most favorite face in the world.

"I should get going," he said, his voice sharper than a knife. It sliced easily through my chest.

"Yeah, I gotta get some sleep, too. I start bright and early tomorrow morning." He was gone, barely waiting for me to finish my sentence.

What the hell was that? What had just happened? What—

I needed to sit down. I planted myself in one of the patio chairs, the feeling like I was falling lingering despite it. My legs continued to shake, my stomach kept that sensation of dropping on a rollercoaster. He was gone but I could still feel him. I could still feel the ghost of his touch, the phantom of his chill. I caught myself wondering if the feeling of me was burned into him, too.

"No," I said out loud.

No. I wouldn't be that person. I'd decided that the night I'd imprinted. I wouldn't be the shapeshifter that stole a young girl's love. I mean, God, if Sam had never phased, we would've gotten married.

But, to be honest, I like him better with Emily. Maybe that was because they'd always been meant for each other. Maybe Edward was meant for—

No, I couldn't even think it! I wouldn't, I refused to. I loved Edward, with all my soul, but I wouldn't let it mean anything other than that. I was his friend. Edward and I were friends, that's the way it was meant to be. That was why it felt so right for us to be around each other. We were supposed to be partners for life, just not romantic partners.

Platonic life partners. Until Bella came back. Not because we were doing anything wrong, but because Bella would get the wrong idea.

"Oh God," I groaned, hiding my face in my hands.

I didn't think it was actually that bad. In the grand scheme of things, what happened a few seconds ago was nothing. It was nothing but a bond-forced connection. I still wanted what I always had: Edward—his friendship. I wanted Edward's friendship and he wanted mine. And it didn't have to mean anything other than that.

It _didn't_ mean anything other than that. We were just friends. I adored our friendship.

But, Edward—… Edward was _bound_ to overthink this. " _This"_ which was nothing.

Tomorrow, I'd get him to laugh it off, though. Because it was nothing—that was what I'd say to him. He'd smile after a beat and then agree with me. Then we'd go have lunch. We could go back to spending all the time we have left until Bella came back.

He would freak out a little, for a hot second, over nothing, and then we'd get over it. We were past letting silly things hurt our friendship. We'd make up tomorrow. It would be ok because we were in control.

The hug didn't even mean anything! It was longer than normal, sure. But really, nothing actually happened. Nothing real. And I didn't even think anything during it. Not really.

It would be fine tomorrow. We would confront this and resolve it. Period.

…God, I needed it to be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long to get this up. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong with this chapter. I had to rewrite it twice! But I hope you enjoyed anyway. Leah made some very good changes in this chapter, let's hope they stick despite Edward drama!
> 
> Please, forgive my spelling/grammar mistakes because I do my best to catch them all. I also want to thank you all for the kudos and the bookmarks, I'm so grateful. Please, keep commenting, I appreciate every single one, even if I don't always reply! :)


	10. Chapter 10

### Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.

The sun had just risen when Jared came stalking into Emily's place, livid and late as hell. Everyone else had arrived with their eyes barely open and shuffled to an empty seat. Collin stood next to me, almost falling asleep on his feet for the sake of sticking close. I didn't bother scolding him for it, though.

I had bigger issues to take care of.

One of them was gritting his teeth in front of me. "This is shameful. To have the traitor as second above your more loyal pack members is unforgivable!"

"Leah's second?" Quil asked, sitting up on the couch. He'd been dozing off on the armrest until now. "That's great news!"

"No, it isn't," Jared snapped. "It's not great, it's not right, and it's not fair."

God, I was already getting sick of his bitching and whining.

"You know I didn't choose my imprint—no one does." It was stupid that I even had to _say_ that.

"It's not about that. Don't you get it, Leah? It's," he paused, huffing out an angry breath, "I don't know. We're a family, we support each other in this pack."

I could do that. "And?"

"And you've never supported us! And then you abandoned us for a cold one. And now you think you can lead us? What gives you the right? At least I've been here! I was here while you abandoned us on top of everything else to go make eyes at a cold one!"

Sam stepped forward to say something, but I held up a hand. This was something I needed to address by myself. I'd done all the damage by myself and I'd do the fixing that way, too.

"I'm sorry for everything I did back then, but that's over. Do you really think Sam would let me be second if I was the same?"

"Yeah? And what happens when Edward leaves you? Still gonna be all for the pack then, Clearwater?"

"Hey," Sam called, intervening with a fierce glare on his face.

"No, it's ok. I'll answer." I pushed up from where I was resting my forearms on a clean countertop. "But, only if you go first, Jared."

"Don't be ridiculous." Jared looked around the room, waiting for someone to back him up.

Embry was happy to help. "It's only fair that you answer first." Unfortunately for Jared, he was happy to help _me._

"So, tell us. How would you deal with Kim dumping you like trash? How would you live without ever seeing her again and continue to lead as second?"

Predictable as ever, Jared didn't even bother trying. "Whatever." He flopped down on the couch, pissed as possible.

"That's right. So, shut the hell up about that." Sam shot me a look and I quickly tacked on a, "Please."

Paul was next to speak with his eyes closed, dark circles underneath them. "If you start sucking again, we'll push you out of the pack. This is your last chance, Leah."

"Great, so I get two chances and Jake gets, what, six?" I could sense everyone getting tense, preparing for me to go off. "Here's the thing, I wanna stop counting chances. If we're family, we have to learn to get over things."

Sam decided it was time to swoop in and push the meeting along. "Leah's right. After the fight with the newborns, it should be clear that we're at our best when we trust and rely on each other. Now, more than ever, we need to pull together. We don't know what threat is lingering around the corner."

"Threat?" Embry questioned, his eyes switching to me. "What threat?"

"I wasn't mentioning a specific threat. But there is one," Sam announced, waking up the whole room. "There was an unknown scent in Leah's room."

Collin was the most concerned, of course. "Someone was in her room?"

"It was likely a someone, yes," Sam said with a bit of hesitation. He had doubts about my theory of the pebble.

But if it wasn't a shoe, what was the explanation? Some rock creature came into my room to leave behind a tiny bit of earth? Nothing else made sense. Someone had to have accidentally left it behind.

"Was it that vampire that's been skulking around the edges of the reserve?" Quil asked with a scowl. "That one stinks even worse than the Cullens."

Sam shook his head. "It wasn't a vampire. Leah says it's unidentifiable. This morning, I took a look at a red pebble that was left behind and it looks like it's gravel."

"Red gravel? I don't know any houses with red gravel," Embry said with a frown.

"That's 'cause no one on the reserve has or sells red gravel. I needed some for a volcano experiment and couldn't find any," Seth replied.

Brady, who'd been sitting in quiet dread, said, "It's gotta be an outsider. What was the scent like again, Leah?"

Before I could answer, Sam said, "Everyone will smell it once we've phased. We're beginning training again, we can't afford to get rusty because our enemies are always in pique shape."

"Yeah, drills will happen every week, this day, this time," I informed everyone. "We'll be testing you to see your first response to different scenarios on the battlefield. Then, we'll train them out of you. We'll train and train and train until when the next battle comes, we win with pure muscle memory."

Brady straightened in his seat at Emily's table, the dark clouds of his face clearing. "Is that possible?"

"It is. We won't stop until we're all as good as each other and Jacob becomes less of a necessity than an appreciated addition."

Seth raised his hand before asking with an eager smile, "When do we start?"

"Now. I'll be running the first half of drills while Leah goes to continue further research on how to break her bond. She'll be back at nightfall for the second half of drills." At Sam's words, I made my way for the door.

"Your shiny new second's too busy with cold ones to be on time?" Jared asked, still snide. I could handle that, though. I just wasn't in the mood to fight him.

"She's doing something important. Imagine if Carlisle finds a way to stop involuntary phasing." Life was a lot easier with Sam on my side. "You'd all better get it down pat before she comes back. Her teaching methods aren't as nice as mine."

Paul was quick to say, "I can take it."

"We'll see," I said as I tugged off my shirt in the cover of the woods nearby.

"Enough wasting time. Let's move," Sam ordered.

Sure enough, everyone got up from where they were in Emily's place and jogged out to where I was. They all turned their backs to me in an uneven circle so I could continue to strip if I wanted to save my underwear. Which, I did.

Soon enough, we all phased—almost in perfect unison—and I went through the rush of eight lives.

Jared was happier than ever, until now. Embry's tension with his mom had died down because he'd stopped phasing, but he couldn't enjoy that peace due to the state of the pack. Collin was ecstatic his parents were paying more attention to him recently. Brady had gotten an A on a test he thought he was going to fail. Quil loved summer because it gave him more time with Claire. Paul was just Paul. Sam was floating on a cloud that took him closer to his wedding each day.

Seth's mind was the entrance in the undercurrent of unease in the pack.

Images of my own death hit me with all the intensity of a freight train. I finally found out why Carlisle had refused to let me see the injury on my shoulder. The newborn had taken a chunk of my flesh when it bit me, exposing bone. It looked gnarly, to say the least.

The remembered pain spotted my vision with black and filled my lungs with phantom fluid. I died again, over half a dozen times, but I saw myself differently each time. Sometimes, I was sweatier and there was an emphasis on my hair being stuck to my cheeks. Sometimes, my screaming was louder and bone-chilling. More often than not, though, it was the paleness that they all noticed the most. Quil thought it had looked like I'd bled out my own soul.

My mind was thrown through a frenzy of emotions, bouncing from low to even deeper low. But after the torture of Seth's waiting came the memory of me waking up after surgery. My eyes fluttered open, casting shadows on my pallid cheeks. My lips were only a pale, faint pink. I started ordering them around and everything was ok again.

 _You met your dad,_ Sam thought, stunned and chockfull of emotion. _Oh, Leah. You got to speak to him. You never let me see that before._ Sam had loved my dad, losing their friendship was a close second as far as the hardest part of our breakup.

_I didn't want you to know right away. I wanted that to myself for a while. But it's out now, so now you know why I have to do a good job at being second._

Jared's contempt lightened up into a vague annoyance. _As long as you help us, I have no qualms with you, Leah. If the ancestors blessed you by allowing you to see your dad even after you imprinted on that_ thing, _then I have no bones left to pick._

 _Thanks, Jared. It'll be nice to have you as third._ Jared still thought it would be better if I was third and he was second. _Don't ruin the moment._

 _Yeah, Jared. This is about Leah's dad, not your hangups. I miss Mr. Harry,_ Quil thought, wistful at the memory of how well my dad used to grill.

His other half, Embry, was more focused on the scent in my room than bratwursts. He highlighted the fact that Sam couldn't smell it. _The last time Leah caught a mystery scent, it turned out to be Edward._

 _Yeah, but this one's not sweet,_ I thought, wincing at the metallic scent.

 _It's not metal. I don't know what it is, but it's not human, either._ Embry knew he was going to be up all night trying to figure out this scent.

 _It smells off if ya ask me,_ Brady thought, wincing, too. _Plain weird._

 _Once you get past that initial whiff, it's definitely familiar, in a way,_ Collin insisted through our mind.

 _No way are we just glossing over Leah's issues with her boy, hyphen, friend,_ Paul interrupted, his thought flaring loud.

_Watch it, cheerleader._

_Hey, I might be your cheerleader, but I'm the pack's biggest fan. And now that you're second, I want your head to be on straight. All that's gonna happen if you convince him the hug was nothing—and we all know it wasn't nothing—is you're gonna get more hugs, get even more secure in his bed and then—BAM!_

Paul was worried about me getting hurt. _I always hurt without him. Leaving before Bella comes back would make no difference._

_You don't think it'll be different when he rejects you? Remember when he insulted you that first night he stayed with you? Imagine that times a thousand._

Quil surprised me by being on my side. _Lay off, Paul. Let her enjoy the time she has left, you have no idea what it's like. Besides, according to Alice, she's still got a shot at winning him over._

 _I don't want to win him over,_ I thought with force, easily becoming the loudest. _I'm fine just being around him._

 _Yeah, but you do think he's beautiful. You wouldn't mind dating him,_ Brady thought, its presence timidly shifting into my head.

I made sure to answer him with a calm and pleasant state of mind. _In a perfect world, sure, I wouldn't mind. But in this world—you know, the_ real _one—I'm more than happy with friendship._

 _What're you gonna do if you chased him off for good?_ Collin thought of how much more time he could spend with me during the summer.

 _I'll put all my spare time into finding Bella,_ I thought back. I accidentally screwed Embry by bringing the memory of our talk to the surface.

 _How could you not tell me Jake's been emailing you?_ Quil's pain was a dull sting felt by the rest of us. _I can't believe he didn't email_ me!

_He wanted to, but you suck at keeping secrets._

_Did Jake say that? Screw him!_

Everyone got busy talking about Jacob after that. I was able to run all the way to the mountain lab without anyone bothering me. Sam wished me a quiet farewell before I gave a sigh that ended with me on my knees. My fingers were in a reflexive curl on the grassy ground as the chilly morning finally hit me.

One sniff told me Edward wasn't there, but he had been. Recently, too. He was probably back at the house, waiting to freak out on me when I showed up.

Clothes were waiting for me when I climbed down the long ladder into the secret lab. I shoved myself into them as I asked, "How's your morning so far, Carlisle?"

He was in his office, which wasn't soundproofed. "Eventful. You have interesting hormones."

"Uh, thanks?" I started navigating my way through the maze of halls.

When I got to Carlisle's office, I pushed open the door and found him at his desk. He was reviewing something on his computer. Papers and files were splayed all across his keyboard.

"Discover anything new?" I asked, examining his lack of a lab coat. He was in a crisply ironed long-sleeved polo and slacks with derby shoes.

No lab coat and not in the room prepared for my bone marrow aspiration. It was clear something had distracted him.

"As I said, interesting hormones." He looked up from his screen positioned toward the corner of his desk. "I noticed you didn't come home last night."

I couldn't help the surprised smile that pushed onto my face. "Uh, what?" He looked confused by my reaction. He didn't even realize what he'd said. " _Home?"_

"Oh, excuse me." He seemed embarrassed as he recognized his little mistake. I had fun laughing at his expense. "It was a mere slip of the tongue. I meant you hadn't come back, not home."

I went to the two chairs in front of his desk, using the one on the right. Every time I sat down in it, my body became one with the cushions.

Vampires chose the most comfortable furniture, I swear.

"I made second and I wanted to stay at the reserve for an early meeting today," I said. I sounded so genuine, I almost believed myself. I wasn't special, though.

Every shapeshifter became a skilled liar, after a while.

"How wonderful!" Carlisle was too distracted by my promotion in the pack to notice the little lie anyway. "That's very excellent news, Leah. Congratulations."

"Yeah, well, I was their last choice," I mumbled and crossed my arms. "Things went pretty smooth today during our first meeting. I'm sure Jared won't be a problem, at least for now. And they're all already back to obnoxiously stating their opinions on my life and decisions."

Paul's advice kept looping in my head, a constant white noise to my actually intelligent thoughts. If I wasn't trying to steal Edward from Bella, then what was I doing? I was just making it so that the separation would be even harder on us.

If I wasn't going to fight for him and I wasn't going to fight against his decision of tossing me aside when Bella came back—

No, no, what was I thinking? Paul wasn't right. I was pretty sure if he ever was, the world would end.

"Edward's pensive today," Carlisle told me, interrupting my thoughts. "He seemed upset when he came back without you last night."

Carlisle was used to Edward telling him everything. In the time I'd spent with them, it was easy to see that they were the closest out of all the familial relationships. That's why his next question was unprecedented.

"Did something happen last night?"

Edward hadn't told him.

What did that mean? Maybe he was leaning more to the side of forgetting the whole thing. Could he have been missing me? I'd missed him; his eyes, his smile haunted my dreams. But he didn't dream. All he did was think and think some more, convincing himself of insane things. So, he was definitely too busy feeling guilty over nothing all night to miss me—and, knowing that, there was no way Quil could be right, either.

As shapeshifters, we were supposed to do what was best for the imprint, despite ourselves. It was easy to forget that with the bond as unpredictable as it was now, but it was still true.

Thinking back on it, I hadn't put Edward's desires above my own since before I'd died. Everything I'd done since the bond had broken and reformed held an undercurrent of selfishness.

Was I was even attuned to his desires anymore? If I was, I pushed them aside easily enough.

I'd chased him down in the woods when he'd wanted to be alone. I'd slept in his room without permission and invaded his private space. I'd forced a friendship on him when he was at his weakest and most vulnerable. When he couldn't fight anymore. Now, I was thinking of ways to convince him, to force him into staying friends with me.

God, even if I did succeed in convincing him to still be friends today, then I'd be sentencing him to reject me for Bella. Again. And if Sam was right about me, then Bella would be coming back soon, due to my own interference.

So, what in the hell was I even doing?

Twisting Edward's arm, forcing him to rely on me, to use me and then throw me away like a living tissue. Forcing him to do something he didn't want to, again. Again and again, this kept happening. It was stupid of me to think I'd broken the cycle. I knew this wouldn't change.

I would always be unwanted by the men I loved.

"Leah?" Carlisle held a gaze full of concern. I didn't bother wondering how long I'd been silent and staring off into space. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I lied, clearing my face of any leftover emotion.

I wished there was a window in the room. It sucked being underground when the world was already collapsing in on you.

"Should we get to it?" I asked. Getting back up from my seat was a task and the floor felt unstable beneath the soles of my shoes.

Meeting Edward was finding purpose, finding equilibrium in my life after its nosedive. It only made sense that everything spun and fell and spiraled now that I knew I had to leave him.

"Perhaps we should do this another day." I heard Carlisle's words as a distant sound, so deep in my head that I'd almost missed them.

"No, let's knock it out today. It's the last sample you'll need for a bit." He'd told me last week that he wouldn't need me around as often after this.

Everything seemed to line up perfectly for me to move out. It all made sense, and yet none of it could've torn me from Edward's side. It was only Edward, himself, who could.

Carlisle wasn't even trying to hide his concern, but he also knew it was a moot point to voice it. "This way, then," he murmured as he left his seat.

I followed him into a sterile room that like he'd stolen it straight out of a hospital. It was an examination room, it even had a hand sanitizing station built into the wall. The only thing it was missing was little diagrams and posters hung up all around.

"Plan on ever bringing anyone else down here to experiment on?" My voice came out flat and dry. In other words, like it used to be before I met Edward.

I hoped I didn't revert too much. The pack needed me and was honestly the only thought keeping me together.

"I've been attempting to cure cancer throughout time, as well as the cure for vampirism. While I certainly plan to use the lab, it's unlikely I'll bring anyone down here. Unless I need a second opinion."

I started to unbutton my jean shorts while he prepared the little things he had left. "Like Rosalie's."

"She's done me a huge favor in keeping me up to date on modern medicine." He got a little shine of pride about him as he mentioned Rosalie. "Let me know when you're ready."

He kept busy as I took off my shorts and climbed onto the table, getting the local anesthesia ready. We'd discussed the dosage and procedure in detail. He suspected that he would have to use a lot of force to drill into my bone and that good timing would be critical. Since my bones healed fast when they broke, he suspected a tiny hole would close up even faster.

"You'll want to hold onto something," he said as he tore open an alcohol wipe.

I laid on my side, the exam table's paper crinkling under my left hip as Carlisle positioned me better. He sanitized the impact point with precision. The prick of the needle a whisper against my skin.

"So far, so good," I muttered.

"While we wait for the anesthesia to spread, here." He held out something red and round in his hand.

I took what he was offering, examining what looked like a knitted apple. I gave it a squeeze, confirming my half-formed theory about it being a stress ball. "Esme."

"You know how she worries." He checked his wristwatch. Anesthesia spread more quickly through a shapeshifter. It also wore off quicker than with a human. "Ready?"

"Ready." He made a careful cut with his scalpel and I smelled my blood, but I didn't feel the blade.

I definitely felt that drill, though.

Although, it wasn't more painful than the chest tube and the recovery from my surgery. The procedure was just a new type of torture I hadn't experienced before. The bone kept healing between every turn, only to be twisted back open by the drill.

Carlisle placed a gloved hand on my arm in a comforting gesture. The fact that I was shuddering only became noticeable to me when I felt how still his hand was.

The process of him extracting the marrow required him to use both of his hands. He had to fight for it, but he won against the fast-acting healing.

"Finished," he said for my benefit. He raced around the room, capping the sample vials before he came to give me pills.

I sat up slow and easy. "I'm good. Thanks, though."

With a bit of hesitance, he put the pills back in their bottle and then the bottle back in its cabinet. He removed his gloves and tossed them in a nearby trashcan. "All done. Would you like a lollipop?"

A breathy laugh escaped my throat, causing a sharp throb in my back. "You're kidding."

He smiled and flashed over to a drawer before offering a cherry-flavored lollipop. "For my favorite patient."

"Jeez. I know I'm a lot younger than you, but I'm not a little kid, Carlisle." That being said, I took the sucker.

"I know you're a grown woman." I nodded, satisfied at his acknowledgment. There was a brief pause in our conversation. "Would you like a snack for the road? It's a long way back and I have some crackers for you."

He grinned when I laughed and shook my head at him. "Very funny, old man."

"Maybe when you're older, you can be half as funny as me, kiddo."

Carlisle would always be my favorite. That's why I was glad to be able to break the news to him, one-on-one.

"Hey, since this was pretty much the last thing you needed from me, I was thinking I should move back home."

He reacted in a very Carlisle way. "If you wish to go home, of course, you can. I'm sure you miss your family and this experience has been trying, for all of us."

"Pretty trying, yeah."

"But if you were ever to decide to come back, I would personally see to it that we built you your own room."

I would miss him the most, after Edward. Hands down. "Thank you. I'll tell stories of my time with you and your family until the day I die. I'll make sure the tribe knows just how much they misjudged you."

"And we will never forget you, Leah Clearwater." He flashed me a smile before going back to cleaning up.

I shimmied back into my shorts, giving a little hop or two. The stress ball went into my pocket before I unwrapped my lollipop and stuck it into my mouth. It had chocolate in the center, so it was one of the good ones.

"So, will the marrow help develop those chemical therapies or something?" I asked him as he balled up the paper from the exam table, tossing it into the trash.

Carlisle sighed and shook his head. "We're stocking up on more stem cells in case of another emergency. They'll good to have around when the chemotherapy experiments do begin."

"Are the therapies even close to being finished?"

"Follow me, I'll show you them."

The place he was storing the precious research turned out not to be far from the examination rooms. We got to the door in five seconds and unlike the other rooms, I couldn't catch a whiff of what was inside.

"Don't cross the threshold of the door. So much venom in one room would surely cause you negative effects," Carlisle warned as he strode up to the door.

"It's only mild toxicity. And I'm not bitten, so I'll be fine."

There was a keypad by the door. Carlisle covered it with his hand as he inputted its password. All the buttons made the same noise, giving me no way to differentiate what he'd pressed. It wasn't long before he opened the door, cool air from inside the room rolling out and past us.

It looked like a full-on chemist's lab inside, all sorts of tubes and flasks and weirdly shaped vats. Noxious fumes had also poured out when Carlisle opened the door, none he seemed too worried about. After the harsh scent of chemicals spilled further into the hall, Edward's joined in the cocktail. Only a night had passed and I'd almost forgotten how lovely he smelled.

I could understand why my mom kept my dad's cologne around now.

"The first draft is the white vials. My most recent batch is the cloudy ones in the vial rack on the back wall." He let me stare at them for a while, my last chances in vials. By the time he asked, "Ready to go get your things now?" I actually was.

I could do this. I could leave the Edward, leave the Cullens, and put Bella back with them. I could do it because there was still hope that I could live a normal life.

"Yeah, let's head out," I replied before heading for the exit, my own scent marking the way back to the ladder.

On the run to the house, I tried to enjoy the partially sunny day, stepping into every patch of sunlight I could find. Carlisle saw what I was doing and joined me, gaining an ethereal shine to his skin every time he found a spot of sun. He looked like living crystal, at times, topped with pure gold hair.

It was crazy how blinded by hate shapeshifters were, to the point where we could miss so much beauty. But it was even crazier how Edward could effortlessly outshine Carlisle.

At the very end of the run, I pulled forward and beat Carlisle, just to irritate him. It worked. He always pursed his lips a bit when he was secretly pissed.

"I've never seen a more competitive vampire or shapeshifter." Jasper was on the porch where he was playing cards with Esme. "I hope we don't get another repeat of the fire of '98."

"Ok, will somebody tell me what the hell that is? What's the fire of '98?" This was my last chance to find out.

Jasper laid down a card on the tabletop, going completely unnoticed by Esme. "It's a long story. I'll tell you later." He did a double-take at me after his own statement and it took me a moment to figure out why.

He didn't just influence others' emotions, he was an emotional sponge, himself. He sensed my dread.

"Is something the matter?" Jasper asked before Esme could even say hello.

"Maybe. Where's the prettier half of you?"

Jasper smirked at my question and said, "Busy with her mystery event. She's out picking new tablecloths."

Carlisle went to Esme, giving her forehead a kiss as she said, "Whatever she's planning is bound to be gorgeous. I've spied a few things here and there when I was helping her before, but it seems like she's indecisive."

"If she's indecisive that means the people she's working with are," I said. I gave my head a shake, my bangs obediently sliding back into place. "I wish she was here."

Carlisle whispered something into Esme's ear, something even _I_ couldn't hear. Esme looked at me after the fact, her butterscotch eyes glowing. "Leah, come inside. I'll cook you the entire kitchen as congratulations."

"Tempting, but I have drills to run with the pack. Being second eats up all your time." She made a sad face at my rejection, one I couldn't stand looking at.

Carlisle must have seen the struggle on my face because he said, "Let her go, Esme. You can always drop off food by her house later."

"Her house?" Esme asked, her voice even higher than usual with shock. "This _is_ her house, this is where she lives." Her voice held a genuine offense to it as she looked up at her husband.

I choked down a laugh before saying, "I guess that if we're getting technical about it, I don't have a house of my own. I'm moving back to my mom's since I'll be accepted at the reservation again."

Carlisle had to grab the back of her chair that had tipped over from her fast exit. In maybe half of half a second, I was encased in a stony hug. "This is all happening too fast. I can scarcely process any of this good news."

"That's the first time I've ever heard a vampire say 'too fast'." Carlisle smiled at my remark and I took to patting Esme's back since she wasn't ready to let go yet. "Hey, where's Rose, you guys?"

"Present." She was up in her room, flipping through a magazine, by the smell of it.

"I need to talk to you about something, in private."

She put her magazine down, running a hand along her hair. She did it so often that I wasn't surprised I could recognize the mannerism through sound alone. "Interesting. I'll bite."

Esme let go of me, only to hold my shoulders in her grasp. "You'll still come and visit us, won't you?"

Carlisle, my savior, said, "She won't have much free time anymore. We're likely saying goodbye to her for some time, my dear."

"That can't be." She kept up the sad little frown as she looked up at me. "Surely we can come and visit you."

"I can ask Sam about it, but we have some stuff we're dealing with and everyone has to focus. And if you could limit hunting on our land, that'd be great. There's a vampire skulking around and your scents might mix up the pack."

Esme went from depressed to desperately concerned in point-five seconds. "An unfamiliar vampire? Oh no. How many fatalities have there been?"

"Zero, actually. No animal attacks in Forks or on the reservation. That's so weird now that I'm thinking about it." Esme seemed to go paler then and Carlisle tensed up on the porch. "What?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Why don't you go pack while I pack up some food for you to take home?" She placed her hand on the small of my back and ushered me inside the house.

Because of Esme, I ended up at Edward's door all too fast. My hand shook in all five of my unsuccessful attempts to knock on the door. I'd never been a coward before, so this was a new experience for me.

Jasper eventually decided to have mercy on me and I tapped my fingertips against the wooden barrier with newfound confidence.

"Come in," Edward murmured, my heart responding with a frantic thudding.

At his permission, I crept inside, almost afraid to see him after how much of an effect his voice, alone, had on me.

Lucky for me, he was staring through the south wall of his room, hands clasped tightly behind his back. His hair was messier than usual and he wasn't wearing shoes. I didn't think I'd ever seen him without shoes on.

"Why'd you take them off?"

"They needed a polish. I was going to change into another pair." I looked to his dresser, finding an abandoned pair of shoes. The sight had me confused until I put two very obvious pieces together.

He'd heard me and that had stopped him.

"I can't believe you're leaving."

I walked toward him, each step more tentative than the last until I was standing right behind him. He knew what I was going to do seconds ago—which was ages in vampire time. I moved slowly like I could startle him, despite knowing that was impossible.

When I finally reached up and pressed my hand to his back, he flinched. My hand slipped off with no resistance, like a bead of water too heavy on a petal.

Nothing I could think to say felt right. No amount of phrases I threaded together could accurately express a single feeling I had for him. But I blamed that on my lack of eloquence more than the entire English language. I just couldn't put it into words.

I stepped back and started packing.

About halfway through, Edward came over and started helping. I watched as he folded everything neat, even getting his own bag out from his closet to help me pack everything. Alice and Rosalie had bought me a lot of things that I'd never asked for.

We packed in a soul-crushing silence, one that was all too familiar. We didn't exchange a single word, even as I stressed and agonized over what I could or should say. In the end, he zipped up his bag without having suffered a single, ineloquent word from me.

It was probably better that way.

When I finished zipping my suitcase, he grabbed it and the bag, carrying them down for me. I followed, feeling hollow inside. And, of course, I felt that way—I'd taken my heart and carved out its center. It beat in my chest only out of spite, to keep me alive so I could suffer along with it.

Edward reached into my sweatshirt's big front pocket when we reached the bottom of the stairs. His hand came back out with my van's keys. "I'll store these for you," he said quietly, his eyes on a mission to avoid mine.

Throughout the whole process, the Cullens—minus the two absentees—had been quiet. None of them struck up a conversation with each other and Esme and Jasper didn't go back to playing cards. When I got out to my van, Edward had already stored my luggage and was working on the wrapped plates from Esme.

I turned to the house and the Cullens were all on the porch, still and staring. I used to get creeped out by how they never moved or fidgeted. Now, I knew I'd miss their odd tendencies.

"Emmett's hunting, but if he were here, he would say it's a shame you're going," Rosalie told me when I strolled back over to them.

"It is," I agreed, leaving it as simple as that.

I tried to turn to leave, but then Esme said, "If you ever need anything from us, call. We'll always answer."

My voice wouldn't come out. I wanted to say thanks, to tell them how much they'd changed my life, but I couldn't even speak. I didn't want to speak. I didn't want this to be over.

Emmett flashed onto the porch. "What's happening and why does Leah look like I just beat her at guitar hero?"

"Shut up," I said through a quivering laugh. He stuck his tongue out at me, wrapping his arms around Rosalie. "I'm, uh, actually leaving. Right now."

"Already?" Esme gave a supportive pat on his arm at his disappointed tone. "It's a shame you're leavin' so soon, Flash."

"What did I say?" Rosalie flashed me a smile before kissing Emmett's cheek, leaving behind a red stain.

"Thanks, Emmett. Thanks to all of you, really." I wished Alice was around to hear what I was going to say next. "I'm used to feeling unwelcome. I expected you all to reject me—it's kinda what I expect from most people—but you didn't. You invited me into your home. You treated me as an equal and you never made me feel like some…wolfy impostor."

"Great band name," Emmett commented, earning an elbow in the side from Rosalie.

I smiled at their little exchange, Jasper making it possible for me to. "In short, you changed my life. Thank you."

Carlisle came down from the porch, Esme holding a hand to her heart as she watched on. "I won't stop my efforts to find a suppressor for the shapeshifting gene, not until I find out how to help you. I would also like you to know that we mean it when we say you can come back at any time." He held out his hand to me.

I was quick to shake it, hoping he'd somehow read into it and know how much I respected him. "Thank you. And, also, thanks for saving my life."

He smiled. "Hopefully, I won't ever have to again." He broke off the handshake and it was hard for me to let go.

"Bye, guys," I said, avoiding looking at Esme and her sad face. I gave a stiff and uncomfortable nod before heading back to my van.

My keys were in the ignition when I got into my driver's seat, so I just gave them a turn. The Cullens channeled back into the house, except for Rosalie and Edward. But Rosalie stayed on the porch, watching Edward as he approached my car.

I couldn't have rolled down my window fast enough.

He leaned down, his face too close to mine to think straight. "I have to know," he whispered, his eyes flitting down toward the ground.

"Know what?" I whispered back, tilting my head to try and follow his eyes with mine.

He looked back up, using the full weight of his gaze. I grabbed ahold of the steering wheel like it could stop the sensation that I was falling. "Is it because of me? Is that why you're leaving?"

"How could you ever think that?" He knew he could never chase me away.

His striking features twisted with pain as he said, "Because I don't understand, Leah. Why? Why are you doing this?"

"Because I don't want you to have to do it." Despite his reaction last time, I reached toward him.

He didn't flinch when my hand touched his cheek. Instead, he closed his eyes. "You're doing this for me. You're trying to help me, to spare me. But what you don't understand is that this alone riddles me with guilt. You're suffering and all for me."

"Try to think of it this way. There's nothing I want more in this world than for you to be happy. I'm getting exactly what I want."

His eyes fluttered back open and whatever I'd been thinking floated off. Our tiny whispers died, the remains of the conversation swept away with today's breeze. Honestly, there was nothing left for us to say. I settled for sweeping my thumb back and forth over his cheek, comforting him the same way he'd comforted me.

There was no telling how long we were there, stalling the forever. We only stopped because Rosalie cleared her throat. The abrupt noise caused us to pull back from each other, the action simultaneous and smooth like we'd practiced it. He turned his back to me and I looked away from him, straight out of the windshield.

Rosalie was smiling as she climbed into the passenger's seat. As I pulled out of the driveway, she said, "I'll tell you when we're out of his range."

I drove back out of the practically hidden path to the Cullen house for the last time. There was no way I could go back without risking caving and begging to be in Edward's life again. And I was determined to be as selfless as people seemed to think I was.

So, I enjoyed the arch of trees for the last time before I stepped on the gas, doubling down on my decision in my head.

It was a bit of a car-ride before Rosalie said, "Safe."

I took the first exit I could find and parked in a random convenient store's parking lot. Rosalie was patient as I turned off the engine to save gas and since neither of us suffered due to weather.

She looked straight into my eyes when I finally turned toward her. I had her complete and undivided attention. "What is it you need to talk about that Edward can't know? Is it why you left?"

"Partially. It's why I left way earlier than a week before Bella should be coming back."

Something like dread flashed across her face. "Are Bella and the mongrel on their way home?"

"Not exactly. A kid in my pack's been emailing Jacob, so I have a general idea of where Bella is. The only thing is that I can't leave right now."

"And so you're asking me to run off in search of the disaster girl." Rosalie let out a sweet sigh, a bitter smile gracing her face. "If she happens to 'accidentally' fall in front of my car, that's just a bonus."

I glared at her as I said, "Not funny."

"I beg to differ. This situation is so horrible that it's downright hilarious." She giggled to herself, twirling the loose curls she'd made in her hair. "What's made you so desperate to send someone after her? You could have waited."

"Jacob said some weird crap in the emails, so I wanna make sure she's ok."

She lost the sadistic smile, taking on a different expression. Concern, maybe? "Do you think there's actually something wrong?"

"I can't know for sure until someone gets their eyes on her. I would've asked Alice, but she's busy with her event. Plus, she wouldn't be able to have any visions around Jacob."

"Fine. I'll go and see what Bella Swan's most recent problem is. I'll even report back like a good little patsy but make no mistake. You'll owe me." Her phone's ringtone went off and she picked it up within a split second. "Has your sight come back?"

"It has. The family is clear again," Alice responded, but she sounded troubled.

Rosalie didn't seem to notice. "Good, then you'll know I needed you to distract Edward long enough for me to pack and leave."

"I already texted him to come out and meet me. I'm worried about Bella, Rose. I _think_ I may know what's happening."

"And you can't tell me?" Alice maintained an indicative silence. "Just how undecided _is_ all of this?"

A fuzzy sigh came through the phone. "A chair with two legs is more stable than Bella's future right now. I can't make heads or tails of anything."

"Hey, Alice. It's Leah," I said, piping up from where I'd been sitting quietly.

"Yes, I knew you were there. Rose was supposed to call me a minute after leaving you," Alice said, a rummaging starting on her end of the line. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there to say goodbye."

"It's fine. But I was wondering if you've seen anything about other vampires in town. The pack smelled an unfamiliar scent on our territory."

Alice answered in a low, urgent voice, "No, I haven't. Although, I should have seen another vampire entering Forks—unless all they're doing is recon on the pack, which means they don't create a ripple strong enough to make it through my visions." She talked fast, not stopping to breathe. "Stay vigilant, Leah."

Mystery scent and mystery vampire. The pack would be pretty busy these upcoming weeks.

"I have to go. Edward's here," Alice whispered fast before hanging up.

"Speaking of going, I have some packing to do before that speed demon returns home."

I swallowed hard, nodding in agreement. "Yeah. Thanks. And goodbye, I guess."

"Slow down there, Leto. You won't be free of me so easily. I may call in the future and being the good puppy you are, I'll expect you to come running. After all, you owe me a favor now and I can call upon it at any point in time for the rest of eternity."

I smiled at her, despite this being the worst day of my life. "I guess we'll have to be in each other's lives for a bit longer, then."

"A bit." She flicked her hair over her shoulder and opened the car door. When she was out, she leaned over, her golden hair draping over her side. "Don't get up to any trouble while I'm gone."

"I have a feeling all my troubles'll all vanish when you're finally gone." She tittered at my retort before closing the door and walking off. As soon as she got somewhere less populated, she'd run home.

On the long ride back to the reservation, I counted and recounted the days. It seemed unreal how fast it had all gone down. Just three weeks and four days. I met, loved, and lost my imprint in _just_ three weeks and four days. We hadn't made it to a month before it all fell apart.

The only reason I was able to keep myself together through this was because I had been expecting this to happen. I always did, deep down.

It was early nine at night when I got home and stored all my things in my room. Mom still wasn't back. Seth wasn't around, either, so my guess was that the pack was waiting for me in our usual place. To avoid whining, I changed out of my clothes to smell less like I'd been bear-hugged by a vampire.

I followed a recent scent from Seth to the natural clearing we usually went to in the woods. When I got there, I wasted no time and phased so we could all get started.

Everyone got to see how painful it was to say goodbye to Edward. They surprised me by maintaining a respectful silence and moving along. It made Jared and Quil long to see their imprints, though.

Embry was the first to engage me. _So, the seer didn't see any vampires coming into their area. The vampire must've beelined straight for us, then._

_You're right. Because of that, the first thing I'll be teaching you is how to deal with sneak attacks and how to effectively use one. Jared, I want you to hide in the trees and try to attack me when I'm least expecting it during the drill. I wanna show you guys how I thwart things like that._

Emmett liked to pick on me whenever Seth wasn't around. He liked stalking around, launching sneak attacks that always ended with him sitting on top of me. He was the older brother I'd never had.

 _Isn't he great?_ Seth became ten times happier at the thought of his sparring matches with Emmett. _Yeah, but you're my sister. I won't visit them without you._

_Thanks, Seth. Now, focus, because I'm about to tell you the first necessary element of a proper sneak attack._

_Speed,_ we all agreed as one.

Training went on for a couple hours before I finally let everyone phase back and go home. I was thinking about wandering through the forests in search of a new special place I could hide. But no hiding place would keep the pain of losing Edward from finding me.

As I was tugging on a sweatshirt, Embry came out of the woodwork. "Hey, Leah. Wanna hang out?"

I looked up at the star-speckled night sky before looking back down at Embry, squinting. "Like, right now? Isn't it close to midnight?"

"Yeah, but I'm bored and you said we could hang out today yesterday, so…you wanna? Quil would be coming along, too." Quil came running out from the trees, a big grin on his face.

This was getting into dangerous territory. "Just because I'm the acting second-in-command, doesn't mean I'm assuming Jacob's entire life."

Quil gave a breathy, psychotic laugh as Embry kept up a twitchy smile. It was pretty easy to see that something was off. I just wasn't sure what it was yet.

"We know you're not Jacob. Jake doesn't have your two best qualities," Quil joked, earning a punch to the arm from Embry. "I'm kidding! _Jeez!"_

"Very funny," I spat, pinning Quil with a glare.

"B-but, hey, since you're hanging out with us anyway, why don't you come to this concert with us? We need a third and it's happening in San Fransisco," Quil said, gleam of terror lit up in his eyes by the stars.

"And neither of you can drive." Suddenly, Quil's kindness on the beach and Embry's request for time together made a lot more sense. "Did you think I'd fall for this? Are you two that brain damaged from Jake smacking you around while sparring?"

I couldn't believe I hadn't seen what they were up to in the pack mind. Did Edward distract me that much? I guessed he wouldn't anymore...

"Leah, please! We've been waiting for this concert for forever and Jake abandoned us! We invited you because, yes, you can drive— _but,_ we also know you like Rihanna. We'll even pay for gas and our own food and snacks and stuff!"

Sam had mentioned before the meeting this morning that I needed to bond with the pack now that I was second. And I'd already told Embry we'd hang out today. Plus, they both knew that the last thing I wanted was to be alone with my thoughts. Oh God.

This was it. That famed spot between a rock and a hard place. I was smooshed right in there with two wolves down below just waiting for me to fall.

Dammit! "Fine."

"Yes!" Quil did an emphatic fist-pump. Before I could say anything else, he sprinted ahead, doing a heel click over a high-sitting tree root.

Embry had on a meek smile when I looked back at him. "Sorry about that. I promise he'll crash as soon as you start the car."

"Great. I'm just your chauffeur now?"

"You're our friend and our ride _and_ our seat-buddy if you're willing." He pulled a ticket out of his back pocket, handing it to me.

The thirtieth, tomorrow night. It was doable. I'd have to drive all night since I had no money for a hotel. I doubted I'd be able to sleep even if I asked my mom for some cash to get a room. How could I sleep without Edward sitting beside me, his hand in mine?

Maybe the concert would be good. It would be a distraction. I could even get my job back at Mrs. Cameron's gift shop. This could be a fresh start.

Well, more like a round two.

"I'll be sitting up in the front since Quil likes to lay down in the backseat and the result is always uncomfortable." Embry watched me stuff my ticket into my jean shorts' pocket.

I was wearing one of the old outfits I'd stashed out in the woods before I'd ever even met the Cullens. I was planning to start wearing all the new clothes Rosalie and Alice had bought me instead, though. Skirts were easier than shorts, after all. The ones without the zippers or buttons, anyway.

"Sure, you can sit upfront. That means you'll have to be my navigator, though." He slung an arm around my shoulders, ignoring my death stare as we headed after Quil.

"Isn't it so great to have friends?"

"No."

Embry talked my ear off about how in love he was with Rihanna, describing the first time he saw one of her music videos. He was so ecstatic to go be able to see her live that it was hard to get too annoyed with him. Quil, on the other hand, was dancing on the very fine line of getting punched in the throat.

"It's a hard thing, dumping an imprint. But you came out on top and now you're going to a Rihanna concert with the two coolest people in the pack." Quil gave my back a hard pat, irritating the faint sore spot from the bone marrow aspiration.

I scowled at him and he smartly took a step out of my personal space. "I don't wanna talk about Edward."

"Well, that's just a lie," Quil said, snorting his skepticism. "All I ever wanna talk about is Claire and all Jared wants to talk about is Kim. Even Sam finds new irrelevant reasons to bring Emily up in conversation every day."

Embry blew out a sigh, casting a cautious glance down at me. "Quil. Chill out, bro."

"It's true, though. Edward is all you wanna talk about, Leah, and, I don't wanna brag, but I'm pretty great at talking boys. Emily told me I'm basically an honorary girl."

I was planning to punch him until that last sentence. I ended up laughing instead. Quil grinned, edging back to my side as we walked. I got the appeal now of hanging around him now.

"I wouldn't brag about that, dude," Embry said, happy to begin teasing his best friend.

Quil rolled his eyes at him, completely unbothered. He pulled at his shirt's collar as he said, "I'm not ashamed that I'm awesome at talking with girls about their feelings. It's something that came with imprinting on Claire."

"Is it? I like to think you always had a secret girl inside of you, Quil." Embry laughed at my comment, giving a soft nudge to my arm.

"Aw, I wish! I would've dated so many more girls if only I'd understood them. I almost asked out Bella, you know. But I stepped aside so Jake's feelings wouldn't get hurt." Quil puffed his chest, giving it a pound for extra measure.

Embry pointed out, "You couldn't have dated her anyway. You wouldn't have 'understood' her."

"Hey, I had game back then. I just would've dated _more_ girls if I knew everything I do now."

"Your kindergarten girlfriend doesn't count, so that brings you back down to one girl. You would've dated _girls,_ period. Not more."

Quil did a double-take at me. "Whoa! Knock it off, second. Didn't you bruise me enough with your paws? Now you gotta start with your words?" He had a good-natured grin on his face. "But you know what I'm talking about, right?"

"As far as what?"

"How we all get a new trait after imprinting. Your new trait is a heart, mine is a feminine side and Sam's is thoughtfulness."

"What's Jared's?" Embry asked.

"A nauseating sex-drive," I said, shuddering in disgust as the two guffawed. "If we're being serious, his has to be sensitivity. He's been so touchy."

"I wish his newfound attribute was better personal hygiene," Embry said with a haunted face. I knew exactly which memory he was thinking about.

Jared ran a marathon once. His mom had to throw away his shoes after beating him with them for never washing his feet. Kim always made him wash them whenever they hung out, so that was the only break we ever got. Marathon day would never be forgotten—even his _paws_ had smelled.

Quil jogged in front of the two of us, walking backward so he could look at me and Embry as he spoke. "Nah, I know what it is."

Embry grinned, already excited to hear his next words. "What is it?"

"Jared can PMS now." Embry almost died laughing. "Hear me out, hear me out. He doesn't get the actual period, he just gets the mood-swings, the sensitivity, and the swollen breasts."

"Dude, you should shut up before he hears you! He's not the far ahead," Embry warned, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Too late!" Jared yelled, his voice echoing through the woods. Quil took off and not two seconds later, Jared came after sprinting after him.

"Looks like we're back to only needing two tickets with the late Quil Ataera V's early demise," Embry joked. I gave a small snort, slightly worried he was right.

As we kept walking, I squinted to watch Jared chasing Quil far off. "Wow, look at them go. They'll make it to Canada by sunrise if they keep going at that rate."

"Hah, yeah." Embry sounded distracted, so I broke my focus on the two to look up at him.

A few seconds of walking in silence passed before I asked, "You ok?"

"Yeah. Uh, just...look, I know you don't wanna talk about the Cullens, but you should know that it's ok you miss them."

My heart ached in my chest, but I joked, "It's only been a few hours. I'm not quite there yet."

He got a little bashful smile on his face. "I know, but the Cullens were alright for what they are. Edward, too, if you're still cool with him. If not, then he's the worst of 'em all and I never liked the guy. So, you don't have to pretend not to be sad about it around me and Quil."

I wore a genuine smile as I said, "Thanks, Embry."

"Anytime." He wore a smile of his own all the way to my place. It was almost cute how proud he was of himself for cheering me up.

When we got to the house, Seth was passed out cold on the couch, open to any number of pranks I could think of. I went for the "subtle" mustache and angry unibrow before Embry and I snuck upstairs. I was too short on time to do anything worse.

Embry hesitated at my doorway while I plunged inside my room, turning on my lamp and zipping open my suitcase that I'd left on my bed. When I found my boots, I turned to talk to Embry. He was still standing there, he hadn't moved an inch farther in.

I crossed my arms, debating with myself. I decided, "Ok, I'll ask. What's up with you, Embry? Why are you being a weirdo?"

"Some of your posters are freaking scary," he said as he took a tentative step inside. "And every surface in this room has at least one plant on it."

"Mm-hm."

"I mean, these are even more plants than you think about." He walked over to my dresser where I had a painting up. "This is a beautiful painting of a bunch of different flowers, right next to a foam zombie head. Your room is so confusing."

I laughed and put my hands on my hips. "The painting was a gift from Sloan."

"Sloan Chavez? The super-rich, attractive, successful artist from your alma mater? The one Rachel and Rebecca were obsessed with all through high school?"

"Same one. Fun fact, he had super thick glasses back in high school. So, now he's wearing contacts to wear lensless glasses instead of just wearing regular glasses." I cackled to myself. "And he thought I'd actually be interested."

He wrinkled his nose, looking lost as he stood there, staring at my painting. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah, he heard Sam and I broke up from one of my nosier cousins when it was all happening. He's been vying for a chance with me since ninth grade—his number's on the back of that painting."

"Dang, Leah! You care so little about this guy that none of this came through the pack mind?" He whipped around to face me, a fire in his eyes. "You have to get me a signed painting for Collin's birthday. He'd freak out."

I shrugged. "Maybe." I didn't want to call Sloan. He leered. "Get the food out of my van for me, would ya? I put away the cold stuff in the fridge already, but I don't want Quil to take their presence as an invitation."

"Got it. Keys?"

"Little table by the door."

Embry said before leaving, "We're gonna have so much fun—we being the two of us and Quil's dead body. It'll be like a creepier version of Weekend at Bernie's. I can't wait!"

I tied on my boots and made sure to grab some cash from my sock drawer for food and any potential emergencies. I also took my phone, just in case. I mean, I wouldn't get back to anyone, but what the hell? I owned it, so I'd take it with me.

I shook Seth awake after turning off my light and jogging downstairs. "I'm going out. I'll be back morning after next. Tell Mom I moved back in."

"She'll wanna know for how long," he slurred, rubbing his eyes and sitting up on the couch.

"Indefinitely."

Embry and I left before Seth could yell at us for drawing on his face. We did him yell, though, while we were pulling out of the driveway. It was great.

We swung by Quil's and saved him before setting out. And what did he say after I saved his life? It definitely wasn't "thank you" or "you're the best".

Quil said, "Ah God, it stinks in here! Was there a vampire in your van, Leah, or did Embry just rip one?"

"Complain about the smell one more time and I'll punt you out of my car." That shut him up nice and good. "Ok, now where exactly in San Francisco are we going?" I asked as I put on my signal to switch lanes.

"Mezzanine!" Quil yelled before cheering and whooping with Embry. "Did you pack some nice clothes, Leah? They have a dress code there."

"Crud, I still have to get my stuff, too," Embry said, looking at me with a grimace. "And the maps."

I just sighed and turned back around. I had a feeling this was a preview of what the next month of my life was going to be like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this extremely long chapter. The story is about to pick up a bit more, so stay tuned as we draw closer to the end!
> 
> I'm sorry for any mistakes, but I'm pretty sick of editing this behemoth. It's long and I hope not too laborious to read! But, I promise that everything that happens in this chapter is important. I trimmed off anything that just kinda there and for no good reason. So, thank you for reading and I'm so grateful for the comments, kudos and bookmarks. They all really make my day, especially the comments which are like my lifeblood. I'm so happy some of you are enjoying my crappy, first fanfiction. And please forgive my mistakes because I know they're there lol!
> 
> P.S. Long note for a long chapter. Fitting, right?


	11. Chapter 11

### Warning: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.

"Are we still on tonight for the marathon?" Quil asked over the phone, Claire singing along to a kids' song in the background.

"I never agreed to that."

"Aw, come on, Leah! You had fun at the concert and you'll have fun doing this."

The concert _was_ fun, except for the part about the age restriction we'd found out about after getting there. A guy asked to see our IDs and Quil's first resort was trying to pawn me off to get inside. It worked, but at a price. Me, punching Quil so hard in the arm that his shoulder almost came out of its socket. Also, some pervert in San Fransisco had my number.

Coming home after the concert was less chaotic, but I'd had to hightail it back to the reservation. Sam had slept at my mom's with Emily that first night. After that, the house only had the patrol to keep them safe. I'd ended up driving all night again.

Two members of the pack were always to patrol the reservation now. Sam made it one of our official pack rules, for the time being. I'd just missed that conversation since I was moving out of the Cullens' at the time.

"I'd rather be hunting down the rogue vampire than watching some marathon of a show that I don't even like."

He gasped, the sound coated with static. "Blasphemy! Everyone likes Firefly. See, this is exactly why I wanted Seth to come."

"Apparently, he is. He changed his mind and he's bringing his professor."

"Uh, his _professor?_ Quick question, she hot?"

I rolled my eyes so hard it almost hurt. "Seth likes his new professor and wants to introduce _him_ to us. By the way, my mom needs help with a PowerPoint presentation she's making for the tribal council. We'll have to tune into the marathon late."

Quil let out an excessively long sigh. "Fine."

"I have a life, you know."

"We never had to deal with stuff like this when Jake was around," he grumbled.

"Yeah, well, Jake doesn't have a life."

Quil and I cackled quietly into the phone at Jacob the Absentee's expense. "Alright, I gotta play hide and seek. Text me when we're good to come over. Bye."

"Will do. Bye." I hung up my phone and tucked it into my jeans' pocket. Then I pulled it back out again to text Emily and make sure she was good at home.

With the threat of the vampire, the pack was on the lookout for each other and each other's families. Sam had glued Emily to my side after I came home the day before yesterday. All I'd had to protect her from so far was dehydration and starvation. She'd forget to eat and drink while planning her wedding. I'd already had lunch with her today, and Sam looked out for my mom since they were both on the tribal council.

Fortunately, we didn't have to worry about the younger members of the pack too much. After the newborn fight, we all agreed Seth could take care of himself. Even though Collin and Brady were still newbies, Seth didn't get called one anymore. He watched over Collin and his parents often, even doing his homework at their house. Brady lived in the middle of the reservation, though. According to our latest discovery, he was the safest out of all of us.

We'd found a pattern in the vampire's movements. It stuck to the outside of the reservation, using the water to hide and drown its scent for a while. Jared's house was the one that had gotten most of the attention. Weirdly, no new scents or tracks had appeared since I'd come back. I wondered if it had to anything to with my house staying unbothered—except for the strange scent.

And, as it turned out, no one could smell the odd scent in my room. Long story short, we ruled it out as a threat with a lukewarm promise to come back to it later. I couldn't blame them for the lack of urgency. Nothing threatening had happened, no one was hurt.

To be honest, I'd started to doubt the scent was ever real. It was easy to doubt yourself, to doubt your own instincts. I'd gotten very good at it since knowing Edward. I'd become an Olympic-level second-guesser.

And that was the first time I'd thought of Edward's name without being hit with a pang of despair.

No, hold on... Never mind, it'd just been a delayed reaction. It struck me as I picked my work clipboard back up. I had the job of taking inventory today.

Boring as it was, working was a distraction I actually got paid for, so I was happy to have my old job back. Mrs. Cameron had welcomed me back to the gift shop with open arms. Some of the heavier boxes were hard on her back, so I took it upon myself to take care of that for her on my first shift back. Jared was forced to thank me for it since I'd saved him from having to come in and do work for his mom. That was the way Mrs. Cameron had put it: I'd _"saved"_ him.

Bright spot of my week. Well, it was until I'd thought of who I wanted to call and tell all about it.

Three days. How could three days had made all the impact of three years? I'd spent last night alone, under the moon, remembering how lovely cold could be. My mourning was so consistent that it had become a practical joke in the pack to "read my mind" even in human form. Everyone knew he occupied any empty space in my mind. They tried to make me laugh about it, to help cheer me up.

It never worked.

I'd taken to hiding when the thought of him grew to be too big in my head for me to stand. It could happen once or twice a day. I always visited water, like I'd somehow find him there. The Hoh River was full of my tears.

Emily would get scared whenever I went off for any amount of time without telling anyone where I was going. Not because of the rogue vampire, but because of her theory. The only shapeshifters we knew of who'd gotten rejected by their imprints died in the following weeks. "Of heartbreak," Emily had claimed without an ounce of doubt.

I should be so lucky.

My phone blasted Rosalie's ringtone from my uniform's vest pocket, making me jump. The evilest part of me let the call go straight to voicemail and the second it stopped ringing, I felt awful. I reached to take out of my pocket and call Rosalie back, but it rang again before I could.

She never called twice if I didn't pick up the first time. She'd just resort to texting me.

I flipped open my phone and held it to my ear. "Hey."

"It's worse than we thought." Five simple words molded my sorrow into dread.

Anxiety also rattled in my bones, making me all jittery. "What's worse? Is it Bella? Did you find her? What's wrong? Oh God, did she actually fall in front of a speeding car?"

"What? No," she replied with a clear note of annoyance. "I haven't even found her yet, but the Volturi has. They made contact with me today." Some wind whistled through her speaker. "You need to have the kid email the mongrel so he knows not to phase."

"They know where Bella is and you're worried about _Jacob?"_ It was a second before I realized I was an idiot. "You're not worried about Jake. You're worried about me."

She hesitated, scaring the hell out of me. "They saw the mutt. They smelled him and recognized the scent from the newborn battle."

The battle seemed like it had been decades ago now. I couldn't wrap my head around how all this had happened in less than a month. But there were more important things to process than the passing of time and lack thereof.

"Are they watching the two now?"

"Naturally, they're keeping tabs. I know they're at least checking up on them every so often." She hissed and a scraping noise came through the phone. "He needs to know he can't phase."

It would be easy enough to get Embry to email Jacob without spilling the beans. The real question was whether Jacob would listen or not. Jacob liked phasing and wouldn't understand that if he did, it would land him in a meeting with the Volturi. Or maybe he'd even try to fight them if they attempted to force a meeting and sentence the pack to death.

God, I hoped he'd listen to someone else for once in his life. If he didn't phase, the Volturi wouldn't care. There wasn't anything otherwise interesting or notable about Jacob Black.

"Aro is likely already aware of their presence. Alice attempted to call me about it, but I hung up on her—"

"You hung up on her? The seer who wants to help us?" I asked, cutting in on her ridiculous sentence.

"Yes, because I have to tell you something." Her voice had become grave and quiet, gaining that serious tone I hated hearing from her. "I would like to preface this well-kept secret by saying it's seriously not a big deal unless you make it one. Or unless he phases."

I leaned back against the display case that made up the top half of the cashier's counter. I didn't have anywhere to sit down, so leaning was my only option. "One-to-ten, how bad does this secret become if Jake phases?"

"In the absolute worst possible situation? Like, if he phased and also fought and maybe even killed someone? ...Ten."

I wanted to face-palm, but I worried I'd overdo it in my stress and break a bone or two. "You've gotta be kidding me."

"Right now, it's a one. Let's take a step back and appreciate the fact that it's not a ten. It's never going to be a ten." The metal knot in my stomach started to soften and unravel. "But, just in case, I need to tell you about a member of the Volturi Carlisle has been avoiding discussing with you."

"Caius." The name always created shadows on their faces.

"Yes. I'm about to give you a bit of a history lesson on Caius, one of the three heads of the Volturi." She continued at a slower pace like she was choosing each word as she came to it. "There used to be people sort of like you. Children of the Moon, who were true werewolves rather than shapeshifters. That difference matters to Aro."

"But it wouldn't matter to Caius?"

She released a heavy sigh. My brain imagined the sickly sweet scent of her depressed breath. "These children—these _werewolves_ were vicious and mindless under a full moon. What made them so terrible to my kind was the fact that they naturally sought out vampires. It was like it had been coded into these indestructible killing machines to seek us out."

"Any other creatures out there I should know about?" I asked, my voice coming out cold and sharp.

She gave a frustrated huff. "As far as I know, there are two different types of dogs, vampires, and then humans. And I only found out about the werewolves recently, from Carlisle. Most vampires don't even know about them, it was so long ago."

Could it have been a werewolf that had been what was in my room? That could explain the unrecognizable scent. It still didn't explain how the scent didn't lead anywhere, including outside.

Ok, focus. "Where are the werewolves now?"

"See," Rosalie started, hesitating again. "I would love to say that with age and experience, they grew disciplined or even cured themselves. This, however, is not the case. One attacked Caius. They're all dead now. Any surviving few are living on borrowed time."

For how hard my heart was slamming in my chest, I responded with a deceivingly calm, "That's not what a girl wants to hear."

"Now, it's supremely unlikely he finds out about you. Aro deems you a non-threat, so he hasn't even told him about you. But if he were to discover you after the devilish dog attacks one of his guardsmen—"

"Got it." I got it all too well, understood it with too perfect of a clarity. "Ok. Potential threat. Why didn't you guys tell me about it sooner?"

"Well, we thought you wouldn't take it well. We decided to only mention it if became a real danger—"

"So, it's a real danger?"

She rushed to fix her mistake. "No, no. It's not, but I wanted you to know. You deserve to know why I'm telling you the dog shouldn't phase."

This was what I got for praying for more distractions. "Ok. But it's a one, so let's keep it a one."

"Yes. Let's. And let us also not tell Edward about the Volturi knowing where Bella is. If he knew, he'd race off to find her, like an idiot."

"Why's chasing after someone you love idiotic?"

"Has no one told you?" She asked, sounding doubtful. "Aro wishes to recruit Alice and Edward. If either of them—or worse, both—step foot in Europe, they have to visit him." Rosalie paused and I waited for her to continue. "Don't you get it yet?"

"Get what?"

"If Aro got his hands on any of us, he would see you, Leah. He'd see you." I didn't understand why it was a big deal, but the way she said it sent a chill down my spine.

"So? If he kills me, he kills me."

A bitter, sharp laugh came through the phone, almost painful to listen to. "Kill the only woman shapeshifter who imprinted on a vampire? Ooh, _and_ it's a vampire he favors? No, he couldn't possibly let you die." Her tone was mocking and bitter, crueler than I'd ever heard it. "He would keep you, for so many reasons. You would be his prized pet, forever." This was the one time I didn't appreciate Rosalie's blunt approach with me.

I couldn't get off of the call fast enough. "Ok, good to know. Not a big deal. Keep looking. Bye."

"Leah—" I hung up before she could finish her thought.

The phone creaked inside my tight fist as I considered telling Sam about Caius. What would it help? We all already knew about the Volturi and we all knew we were safer with them not knowing about us. Telling them about the ticking time-bomb with no wires to cut seemed pointless. As long as Jacob didn't phase while he was there, the pack was golden, and I was sure he'd listen to Embry.

I was the real problem. Story of my life. I could sit still and hold my breath and close my eyes and chaos would ensue. Why? Because I didn't cause problems, I _was_ the problem. Edward wasn't even associating with me anymore and I was putting his life in jeopardy. The bond would pull him to not want to leave me alone if Aro got to me. If push came to shove, I could unintentionally take him down with me. I was doomed to.

I would collapse like a dying star and drag everyone to burn with me. No one could resist the pull of my disastrous nature, the inescapable force of me. The human blackhole.

But I'd be damned if I didn't do everything I could to try and protect the pack on my way out.

I flipped back open my cell and dialed Embry. "Yellow," he answered, laughter and background conversations muffling his voice. "Hey, tell Quil he's missing out."

"Later. Email Jake right now and tell him he can't phase. Tell him that if he does, we'll all die, including Bella." I wasn't sure Bella would die, but I also wasn't sure Jacob prioritized the pack's safety over Bella's.

"Whoa, what're you talking about, Lee? Should I grab Sam? We can leave the cookout right now." The playful tone that had him sounding like his age was gone. I felt horrible for ruining his fun, but this had to take priority.

"Nope, no need. Just send that email and everything will be fine."

The calmness of my voice seemed to fool him. "If you say so, second. I'll run home real quick."

"Great. Bye." I hung up and squatted down, supporting myself by gripping onto the edge of the display case. Sickness stirred my stomach, making my mouth water.

Could it be a member of the Volturi that had been hiding within the trees of our land? Was that why Esme had reacted so oddly to the news? She definitely knew who it was—she and Carlisle both knew. A member of the Volturi would also be careful not to feed, so as not to alert the pack…but we'd already _been_ alerted. Wouldn't the Volturi not want us to know we were being watched at all?

Carlisle had told me the story of the Romanian coven one early morning when Edward was still at Bella's. The Volturi accumulated power under their noses and created a coven full of gifted vampires. Once they felt ready, they struck fast and hard without warning. The Volturi took down the most influential coven in the world in a day. Carlisle had called it "the fastest massive war in known history". So, I got the feeling we wouldn't know they were watching or even coming until they were here.

I wished I could go back to being sixteen and clueless.

"Excuse me, miss." A man's voice interrupted my incoming anxiety attack and I stood back up.

I didn't recognize him, I'd never seen his face before. But his eyes were a harmless blue and he smelled normal. A little nice, actually. Nothing was abnormal or special about him. Nothing to worry about, thank God.

I tucked my phone away in a pocket and brushed my bangs back behind my ears. "How can I help you, sir?"

"I'm sorry, are you alright? You're pale."

"Oh, I'm fine. Had bad noodles for lunch so I'm a little queasy, but my shift ends soon, so." I put on a smile to be more convincing. "What can I do for you today?"

He dropped it easy enough. "Is this a gift shop?" He asked, his very blue eyes shifting around the store.

"It is, it just doubles as a mini-mart. You can get souvenirs and your groceries here."

"Oh, well I was looking for a nice bouquet and a box of sweets. I tried to find an actual flower shop, but I kept getting lost," the man explained with a foreign lilt to his voice.

British? We didn't get many Englishmen on the reservation, but that didn't mean anything. This wasn't something I needed to overthink.

"Flower shop," I repeated as I grabbed the notepad from beside the cash register. "One sec."

I used the pen I'd tucked behind my ear to draw him directions to Pauline's little store. He was smart to come here. Even though we didn't get many visitors, since we worked at a gift shop, we had to be able to help lost tourists.

"We may not have flowers here but we do have some stunning, authentic dreamcatchers. Handmade jewelry is toward the back, too, if you wanna buy some for family or a loved one." Mrs. Cameron's biggest rule was to never let a customer walk out empty-handed.

What makes a customer a customer? According to Mrs. Cameron, "anyone who walks into the store". I'd made her laugh by offering to sell her two pairs of sunglasses for the price of one since it was sunny out that day.

"My sister may like some, but I've no other loved ones to speak of."

"Well, I own a few sets of earrings back there, myself. I'm wearing one now." I brushed my hair back behind my ear, keeping my eyes on the notepad. "They're pretty and I'm sure your sister would love a pair."

He blew out a sigh. "She did ask me to bring something back."

I finished the directions, looking back up at the man only to find he was staring at me instead of anything in the store. "Here ya go." I slid the map over to him, across the glass.

It was better not to touch the customers. It only took one insisting I should go to the hospital for my fever to teach me that lesson.

As he picked up the piece of paper, I examined him thoroughly, just to be safe. There wasn't anything unusual about him, no matter how hard I looked. He just seemed flustered, his slender, pale pink lips moving as he scanned the map.

His gaze flicked up, back to me, a faint smirk on his face. "I take it that I'm not the first newcomer to get lost and come to you."

"Not even close."

"Beautiful map. I may pin it up." He creased the map in half and stowed it in his jeans' pocket. "Evidence of my idiocy, exhibit A."

I managed a wavering smile. "Great name."

"I thought so." He smiled back and then tapped the counter's display case. "Please, tell me about these, erm, carvings here. They're gorgeous."

"The great thing about these is that we put tiny pieces of paper in a hole hidden in the bottom. They all contain words from our language, so you get to take a piece of Quileute with you when you go." I unlocked the case from my side, pulling out the most expensive carving. "A lot of people who found out their heritage like to take these home."

"I see," he said, taking the large bear statuette I offered to him. "I quite like this one—I believe my sister would enjoy it, actually."

"You've mentioned her a couple of times. Is she not here with you?"

He kept examining the bear as he answered, "She's back home, quite busy with her studies."

"What brings you here?"

"I wanted to visit the beach while the sun is out, but since I'm meeting someone later today, I thought I'd pick up a bouquet." His eyes focused on me again and his lips pulled into a wide, handsome smile. "Thank goodness I did. Otherwise, I would have been very late."

"Yeah. I guess things work out sometimes." As long as you weren't me.

He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket after spotting the tiny price-tag on the wooden statuette. "Keep the change," he said as he placed two hundred bills on the counter.

"Uh, it's only one-twenty-five. Are you sure?"

He smiled, crinkles appearing at the corners of his eyes. It seemed like the blue of his irises only deepened the longer I looked at them. I would've found them pretty before I met Edward.

"I'm sure. I'm hoping to brighten your day."

It was nice to get nice customers. I could appreciate that, despite everything. "Would you like a bag?" I asked him as I stored the bills in the cash drawer.

"Yes, please."

"I'll give you one of the nicer ones. It's technically a gift-bag, but since it's for your sister, I figure that's fine." I grabbed a silver gift-bag, and two sheets of green tissue paper. I hesitated to ask my next question, but I was curious if I knew who he was buying the bouquet for. "Who's the lucky lady you're buying flowers for?"

"I haven't met her yet." I pushed the bag over to him, barely avoiding his fingers since he reached up to grab it. "If she's half as beautiful as you, I'll be very glad to meet her."

I fumbled the carving, my reflexes saving me at the last moment. When I looked up at the man, he was smiling again, looking almost bashful. I put the bear in the bag with care as I said, "Thank you for the—…the, uh—"

"Compliment?"

"Yes. Here." I pushed the bag across to him. "Thanks."

He backed toward the door. "Not at all. Thank _you_ for all your help. This is easily the best place I've ever gotten lost."

"Feel free to come back soon, overpaying customer." He smiled and I found myself giving the tiniest smile back. "Have a good day."

"You, too." He left easy, glancing back at me from over one of his broad shoulders as he walked out of the door.

Once he left, I crumpled again, waiting for my watch to beep so I could go home. When my shift ended, I left before my coworker had even arrived to take my place. I ran home.

I was ready to go scream into my pillows to relieve just an ounce of pressure from my back, but I couldn't. My mom needed help with her presentation and I'd promised I would help.

Two hours later and we were finally done. "It's great, Mom. You're gonna get the promotion."

"I'd better," she muttered under her breath as she took off her reading glasses. "You ok, Leah? You're pale."

"I'm ok." And immediately after I uttered the lie, tears started running down my face. "Allergies."

She gasped, wiping my face with careful fingers. "You don't have allergies, silly girl. Come here." I bent over so she could hug me from the computer chair. She stood up after a moment to lead me to the couch we'd had since I was five. "Tell me what it is."

"I don't know. I can't tell anymore, it seems like it's all running together into one unbearable disaster. All the bad karma from torturing Sam and Emily—"

"Stop that. You were hurt and you made bad decisions. We all do that. You're not any worse than me or anyone else on this earth." She took my chin in her grip, forcing me to look at her. "Is it Edward?"

"I mean, it's always him, but it's so much more than that now. It's like it's everything—and I don't know what I'm doing, ever, and I _never_ do it right. The one thing I do know is that I'm bound to make some new, big mistake soon because that's what I do. And don't ask me why I'm like this because I don't know. I don't know, I'm out of answers and reasons and I'm so tired, Mom."

Her eyes had widened while I spoke, tears brimming in her bottom eyelids. "Oh, Leah." She took my face in her hands, her touch gentle and warm. "I wish I knew what to say. Your father always knew how to make you feel better, but all I know is how to hurt with you."

"Ok," I said, nodding. "Let's just hurt together for a little while."

"Ok."

She grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it around us. Our hands found each other under the heavy weave of the green blanket and she pulled me even closer. All I could do was hold onto her hands and pray. Pray again, even though my other prayers were only answered cruelly.

By the time the tears stopped running down my numb face, I couldn't breathe through my nose. But I kept hanging on and praying.

Please, please spare me. For once, I would like to not have the worst possible thing happen. Please, grant me some solution, some end to—

Of course. I knew what I had to do. "If you knew the only way to be happy was by doing something stupid and dangerous, would you?"

"What do you mean?"

I sat up, looking at her as I said, "I have a chance to keep myself safe and happy for the rest of my days. If I don't take that chance now, something very bad might happen to me."

"You're scaring me, honey. Tell me what's going on."

"I promise I'll tell you later, so please just answer my question."

I could tell she didn't want to answer. It took her a long time to say what we both already knew was the truth. "Yes, I would." She brought me back into her arms, holding on tight.

The two of us settled into a soothing quiet, the tension slowly leaving her arms as I stayed put. Even if it was a false peace, it was still nice to sit there and share it with her. I listened to her heartbeat and how our breathing would fall in and out of sync. Things would change soon, one way or another, but right now everything was ok. Seth was healthy and safe and my mom was, too. Edward would be back to pure bliss soon, too. Bella's return was imminent.

Seth came back from his summer school after a while and when he saw us cuddling on the couch, he didn't ask any questions. He dropped his backpack and climbed under the blanket with us, sandwiching me between the two of them. It seemed like all three of us needed a hug with no explanation.

No moment could last forever, though.

"Guys...I'm sorry, but I farted."

"Seth!" Mom yelled and smacked him with a pillow. He laughed and then decided it was smart to hit me with a pillow.

It became a full-blown pillow fight of epic proportions. Collin heard from his house and inserted himself into the fight, but I was fine with it. It gave me an excuse to smack him around—with a pillow, but still. Mom laughed so hard she cried when I kept using my grip on Seth's neck to push him into the pillow in my other hand. I had to stop because she was making me laugh too hard and Seth fell onto his side. He was pretending to be dead while he grinned, chuckles bubbling out of him.

Collin swore vengeance on Seth's behalf. I won about fifteen seconds after that.

Mom got up to pour some lemonade for us after the "fearsome" battle was over. Collin and Seth got caught up in a conversation about a pack-wide pillow war. I slipped away without any trouble or questions.

I checked my watch while I was on the porch. Carlisle would be getting off work soon, but since he had to drive back from work, I figured I had enough time. He also wouldn't be able to tell that I'd been in the lab, either, because my scent didn't linger among the harsh chemicals long after I visited.

I could get the vials. The biggest concern was how fast he would find out I had them. The clock was ticking, so I took off my watch and my shirt and ran into the woods. I'd worry about the rest later.

Jared and Paul were on patrol when I phased.

 _If you can find a way to take away shapeshifting, go for it._ Paul had never wanted to phase. He hated not being able to get pissed off without becoming a monster.

 _It's not safe, but sometimes you have to take risks. We won't tell Sam unless you sound weird on your next patrol,_ Jared thought.

Why would he support me?

_I don't like you, but that doesn't mean I want that fate for you. The pack will be ok, especially since you lied about Bella being in danger. Jake won't phase. So, this is just about you. Do what you gotta do, second. Paul and I'll only patrol together to keep the secret._

_For sure,_ Paul thought in agreement. _Go for it, Leah. You can survive anything anyway. It's almost like higher powers want you to live._

_If that's true, then I'm being kept alive to get tortured._

_Well, let's hope you do die then. If you did, I'd get to be second again. Win-win situation._ Luckily for Jared, he was only joking.

Luckily for me, I'd phased with the only two people in the pack who'd support my decision to take the therapies.

We talked about what they'd seen patrolling, how the vampire's scent was still faint. I also caught up on what they'd been doing the past three days. Paul had been trying new soda concoctions. Jared had started coming into Kim's room at night to sleep half the night next to her. He worried about her with a vampire on the loose.

 _Weird,_ I thought as I approached the mountain lab. It had taken me nine minutes at full speed to get there. _I don't even smell Carlisle._

Carlisle visited the lab every morning, so there was always at least a faint scent. No scent at all was alarming.

_Do you remember them planning a trip?_

_Ignore Paul's stupid question and check the road for scents of their cars._

I trotted out to the road, taking a long sniff. There was definitely gas and lots of it. Diesel, too. It seemed like they'd taken their cars out days ago. I was guessing they hadn't come back, either. It was sunny today. Where could they be?

 _I'll check in with you guys later._ I phased back before either could reply.

The house was empty when I walked up to it, so I couldn't resist going inside. Their door was unlocked, as always, so the real difficulty of going inside was dealing with the stench. I'd lost my resistance to their smell, so my eyes watered as I forced myself to go inside.

No signs of a struggle. All their scents were old. They couldn't have been around for at least a full day—maybe two. A quick peek in the dishwasher exposed the dirty dishes no one had run since I'd left.

Worry convinced me to check the second level of the house. I went to Rosalie's and Emmett's room. I threw open his closet to see a bunch of empty hangers. I checked for his suitcase and it was gone.

They'd decided to travel?

I went to Edward's room, opening his closet, too. A lot of his shirts and sweaters were missing, along with his suitcase. When I turned back around, I spotted a book on his neatly made bed. It was open, face-down like he got interrupted while reading it and thought he'd come back soon.

They had to leave the house fast and of their own will, but it wasn't planned. Had an emergency happened? Wouldn't they have told Rosalie who would've then told me? This whole thing didn't seem right.

Hoping to get a clue of where they went, I picked up the book Edward had left behind. It was the book I'd chosen out of his bookshelf on my first night in his room. It was even on the page I'd randomly turned to.

And smack-dab in the middle of the poem was a drawing of my eyes. From the arch of the eyebrows to the almost-black irises, they were my eyes staring back at me. Around them, he'd sketched blossoms, flowers that bloomed from the corners of my eyes.

He missed me. I couldn't let myself think it meant anything more than that. But I couldn't convince myself that it meant anything less. I couldn't minimize it or pretend like it didn't mean anything. It meant something. Deep down, it always meant something. Maybe he'd even left it out, hoping that I'd see it.

Rosalie's words echoed back into my head.

There was a part of him whispering for me.

What if it wasn't a whisper anymore? I could call him. I could use the landline and dial the number I memorized a while ago. What if I agreed with him that Bella wasn't coming? What if I promised that I would instead?

A whole lifetime played out in my head. He would hold my hand as we ran through the years together. When I couldn't run anymore, he would hold me and carry me with him. We'd be by each other's sides, always. The last thing I would see with old eyes would be his face before I went to join my dad.

Then a more realistic life trampled all over the warm fantasies of a life of sweetness and cold hands. One where Aro stroked my hair and trailed bruises down my neck just to watch them heal. One where Edward, out of guilt, joined me. One where I had to watch the gold slowly turn red, blood dripping down pale cheeks like tears.

I didn't call Edward.

Rosalie ended up having pants in her room that I found when I was looking for something to wear. They were silk, but they beat a skirt or any of her many, many dresses. I put on a sequined camisole that I found in the first drawer I pulled open. As I was leaving, I noticed I was tracking dirty footprints through the house. It didn't matter, though. They wouldn't be back in time to see what I was doing or stop me. There were too many clothes missing for them to be back anytime soon.

Climbing up the jagged mountain was still hell in these stupid pants. A skirt may have been better, after all. It took me an extra two minutes to make it to the spot where the hidden entrance was. I lifted the heavy, camouflaged door and peeked down the long way to the bottom of the ladder.

Goosebumps ripped along my skin when I locked eyes with one pissed off little pixie. "Caught ya," Alice whispered, her eyes narrowed into menacing slits.

I couldn't think of anything else to say except for, "You're not supposed to be here."

"No, _you're_ not supposed to be here. I even told Rose to tell you not to come, not that it would've stopped you even if she had. Now, move because I'm coming up."

I dodged out of the way as she shot up, flying a foot or two above the ground before landing on her pointed flats. The ribbons that tied the shoes to her feet trembled with the impact of her landing. The skirt of her dress fluttered around her legs like gentle butterfly wings in the breeze. It made the fury in her eyes that much scarier in comparison.

"Would you like to explain yourself first, Leah Clearwater?" She placed her hands on her hips. Her tone reminded me of my mom's when she'd find out I played hooky in high school.

"I just want to end this, Alice." I sounded tired. I _was_ tired. "Don't you?"

She used the tip of her toes to close the entrance. A slight flick of her foot sent the door screeching shut, the slam of it echoing. "Yes, but not at any cost."

"You've seen the cost? You know what'll happen if I take the therapies?"

"That explains Carlisle's guilt," she mumbled to herself. "Yes, Leah, I know what happens. I also know Rose told you about Aro and Caius. I knew she'd be the trigger and that's why I've been living in this Godforsaken, bland lab since you moved out."

"Well? What happens? Is it good and you stayed behind to help me?"

"I stayed to warn you. You die, Leah. We attend your funeral."

"My funeral," I repeated, and then laughed like some unstable maniac. Better to laugh than to cry again, though. "Is it nice?"

"This is serious. Edward kneels over your grave after everyone leaves, he's despondent with grief. Rose has disappeared. Carlisle and I are having a discussion where he blames himself. He says he didn't lock up the lab tight enough." She put her foot on top of the door, the act seeming too graceful for the cracks it created in the stone concealing the metal. "If you do this, you don't just die. You hurt everyone."

It took me less than a second to respond, "But if I succeed, I'll be letting everyone off the hook. I have to at least try."

She gave a fragile sigh and covered her face as she mumbled, "You're way more exhausting than Bella. I'll give you that."

"I'm not trying to be exhausting. I'm trying to take action."

"You're certainly taking your life into your own hands."

"Yeah, well, I'd rather do something and live a short life than stand around doing nothing for eternity. And this is my choice, Alice. This is what I want to do." This was what I _had_ to do.

"Why?"

"Because if Aro finds out about me, he won't let it go. And he'd find me eventually, right? I'd have to deal with all of it eventually."

My question stalled her, making her response time drastically slow. In the end, after what must've been a full minute, she said, "Choose your future wisely, Leah. You've been warned."

"Death is better than being a pawn for a coven that embodies everything I despise in the world."

"Even a hard life is better than no life at all." Her eyes changed, growing old as she looked off into the distance. "There's always a chance to change your life until you lose it."

She ran off before I could think of anything to say, back toward the house. Would she packing to go join her family where they were? Would she tell Edward? Carlisle?

I opened the door to the lab, waiting to see if she turned back around to fight me, after all. She didn't, so I jumped down.

Getting in the room with the vials was a cinch since I could fit into the vents. The hard part came when I saw two new sets of vials that had been made in my absence. Carlisle had been a busy bee.

There was a murky, viscous purple fluid that smelled like spoiled prunes in one new set of vials. The second new set was a radioactive green and had the consistency of water in its vials. I couldn't describe the smell of them, it was like he'd created a new chemical with the batch. It was difficult to decide which one was less deadly.

I ended up picking the purple set of vials since they at least smelled like something that existed. They also held a saccharine scent that sort of reminded me of Edward. When I climbed back out of the lab with the vials in a barf-bag, Alice was there with a pair of heels and a different shirt for me.

"Want me to drive you home?" She asked sweetly, her skin glittering as the cloud that'd been blocking the sun passed us.

I shook my head, letting her fix my bangs after I'd pulled off the shirt I'd been wearing. "I'll be late for this marathon thing that's happening."

"I'll run with you. I can carry your clothes and vials." I put on the top as she folded the other one I'd had on. "Perfect. Now, take it all off because you're not allowed to ruin these."

"You really wanna come with me?"

"You're still my friend, Leah. Even if you make awful decisions." She didn't seem that bothered by the prospect of my death anymore, though. "Hurry up. I have my own things to tend to after our run."

I tugged the pants down, handing them to her before I slipped out of the shirt she'd picked for me. I guessed, "The event?"

"The event," she confirmed, her smile softening even more at the mention of it. One day, I would squeeze what it was out of her.

Our run back to the reservation was relaxing. She talked a million miles a minute since I could still understand her at that speed. I could tell she'd missed me since she would pat me or run a hand through my fur every now and then while we ran. She also promised to visit me when she was a little less busy. The whole time, the burning question of where all the other Cullens had went kept turning around in my mind.

When we got to the edge of the reservation, I slowed down in the trees so I could change. I phased back, ignoring the amazed look she always got whenever she saw the shift.

"Beautiful. You have such a nice body," Alice said once I'd gotten dressed. "I would kill for legs like yours."

"Thanks, but feel free to give me more functional clothing next time." She waved off my recommendation, grinning away. "Don't be a stranger."

"How could I be when you're going to call me at noon, every day?"

I should've known she wouldn't let me take the vials with no strings attached. "You know I'm horrible with my phone."

"Get good or you'll be getting a lot of visits from me."

I groaned at the thought of her coming every day with new outfits. "Ugh, fine. I'll call."

"At noon."

"At noon."

"Every day."

"Oh my—every day! _Sheesh!_ Can you go away now?" She shot me a cheeky smile and then turned to go. "Wait! Wait, hold on."

She made a soft "tsk" at me, clasping her hands in front of her as she twirled back around. "Go on. Ask."

"Where are all the others?"

"Somewhere cold. Bye now, Lee." She flew off, back into the cover of the trees. "I'll miss you," she whispered before she was out of hearing distance.

It screwed me up on a fundamental level. She wouldn't actually let me die, would she? ...No way.

I walked the rest of the way home, the page from the poetry book tucked into my waistband and hidden by my silk blouse. Alice had seen it, but didn't question it—thank God. The edges of the folded page chafed my skin, reminding me that I was alive. I hadn't died yet.

I wouldn't die.

"Shh! She's coming!" Someone whispered loudly from the house

After hearing that, I ran down the path to the house. I was ready for my ambush of pillows. I ripped the door open with a grin, only to see—

"Red gravel," I mouthed, shock having stolen all the air from my lungs.

"Leah?" I looked up from the palm and stumbled back at the sight of a familiar face.

"Lost guy?" It was hard to forget such a blue pair of eyes.

"Peter, actually," he corrected me, humor in the curve of his smile. "Seth didn't tell me your name until I'd arrived for the marathon dinner. I simply assumed there were two Leahs. What a coincidence."

"Seth?" I called, my voice high and thin.

My little brother came skipping out, grinning. "I wanted to surprise you. There were no home invaders, Leah," Seth said before wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "It's ok. Calm down."

My heart was beating almost as fast as when Carlisle had a tube in my chest. "What the hell is going on?"

Quil yelled from inside, "Tell her already, Seth!"

"Turns out I was the one who left the gravel behind without noticing. It's at the building where the program is. Mr. Peter pointed it out to me and I told him to bring it when he came over. So, it wasn't a home invasion, after all!"

The unsettled feeling remained in the pit of my stomach, even as I understood what they were saying. "Why couldn't you tell me that like normal people?"

"I thought it'd be funnier this way," Seth said with a little giggle. He then stopped to take a look at me. My heart was still racing. "Are you ok, Leah?"

"Fine. Wanna drink? Peter, wanna drink? Quil? Embry?"

Peter looked at Seth before nodding and saying, "Yes, sure. I could fetch them for you—"

"No, I'll get 'em. Sit down, rest. You're Seth's beloved professor. I'll get you a drink. You said you wanted one, right? Right." I walked into the house, going straight into the kitchen.

My mom watched as I took the lemonade out of the fridge and drank straight from the pitcher. I chugged it all, spilling a few drops on Rosalie's shirt before I put the empty thing back in the fridge.

Seth came in then, while Mom was still staring at me in bewilderment. "Leah, he's the one who came after the other professor got into that bad car accident." He got close to me, lowering his voice to a whisper. "He shares our ancestors."

That snapped me out of my tiny freakout well enough. "Then why in the hell would you bring him here? There's a vampire's scent all over the place."

"He got adopted by his uncle, who married into our blood. His adoptive sister is the real Quileute descendent. But that could still be super bad since—"

"I could be a start to a trend and not an exception." I wiped the back of my hand over my lips, getting rid of the excess lemonade. "Damn."

"Pretty great find," Seth chirped, sporting a huge smile. "I did good, right?"

"Except for the part where you forgot about the red gravel."

"I thought there wasn't any. It's gotta be new or something. I never noticed it before when I was running to a class," he whispered, his eyes big and sorry in a second flat. "I'm just as mad myself as you are."

I couldn't bring myself to be hard on him, seeing how hard he was taking it already. "It's fine. Have you told Sam about all this?"

He shook his head, his smile returning. "I did something better. I told Emily."

Her car came motoring down the path then and I let out a sigh. Peter, who'd been engaging Embry and Quil in conversation, excused himself to get some water. He came in while I was mentally preparing for Emily to fill the living room up with her historical papers and tomes.

"Hello," he murmured as he walked past me, going for one of the plastic cup towers.

"Hey, Peter. Did you enjoy the beach?"

He shot me an easygoing smile. "I did. It was very beautiful."

"Yeah, it's heaven on earth living here," I said, my voice gaining a sarcastic bite. "Crap. I forgot you asked for a drink earlier."

"It's fine," he replied, holding up his cup he'd just filled with tap water. "I've got it covered."

Quil grumbled from the couch, "Awfully forgetful today. First, she forgets to text us. Now, she tries to dehydrate Peter to death."

I gritted my teeth and with a lot of willpower, ignored the child. "Crazy day for you, huh?" I asked Peter and then looked at my two confused family members. "We met at the gift shop. I helped him get un-lost."

"I actually, erm, have something for you." He scooped up a bouquet of white roses and daisies from the counter beside Mom. "For Seth's sister."

I snorted, taking the bouquet. "Nice choice. Very friendly." I started looking for a vase in the cabinets. "Thanks."

"Of course. Seth told me you liked flowers." I stood on my tippy toes to reach a nice vase. "If you don't mind me asking, where are you coming back from?"

It was way easier to lie when one size fit all. "A friend's house. I was there to, uh, pick up something."

"What?" Embry asked, leaning around the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room. He supported himself on the air of the couch. "What did you pick up?

I was thinking of another lie when Emily came in with her big history bag. And my puke bag full of vials. I must've dropped them in my shock.

"Ok, so what's this that I'm holding? Who's he? Why is Leah dressed like a model? Why did two separate people ask me to come for two completely different reasons? And should I call Sam?"

"Don't call Sam," Quil, Embry, Seth and I said in unison.

Peter looked around with a quizzical expression. "Who is Sam?"

"My future husband and the best man you'll ever meet. I'm Emily." She rushed over to shake his hand, in a special hurry to be pleasant. "Are you an Englishman?"

"Hah," he nervously chuckled as he shook her hand. "That I am. And you're Seth's cousin? He didn't mention how pretty you were. You're all so beautiful." He glanced around the kitchen, his eyes lingering on me.

Yeah, not a chance, buddy.

Emily and my mom giggled away, though. Emily was only amused for a few seconds before she saw me again. "Let's get you changed." She held out a hand to me.

"Sure." I took her hand and let her tow me upstairs. I was assuming the second person who'd called her was Embry. It explained her eagerness to get me alone pretty well.

She shut my bedroom door behind us when I waltzed in ahead of her, ready to get the talk over with. It was only then that I saw how I looked in the body-length mirror by the doorframe.

The silver silk pants that fanned out toward my ankles, making my legs seem longer than they were. The velvet top clung to my torso and was just short enough to expose a bit of my midriff. I looked like I was ready to go party with the rich, especially with the dazzling, sparkly heels I was wearing.

"I hate it when she dresses me like this."

"You mean like you just came walking off the red carpet? Yes, how horrible," Emily replied dryly. "Leah, what are these vi—?"

"Don't say it. Not everyone needs to know." I tugged my shirt off after staring her down, making sure she wouldn't stubbornly continue.

I could tell by the furrowed brow and lines in her forehead that I was in for something, though. "Embry told me something was wrong and I should check on you. Care to expound?" She asked as I finished changing into a baggy sweatshirt, cotton shorts, and soft socks.

"I'm trying something new. It'll either work out or it won't."

"Will you die if it doesn't work out?"

She'd gotten straight to the point. I hated it when she did that while I was trying to weasel my way out of conversations. "It's not that bad."

She frowned at me, clearly disapproving of my actions. She didn't even know what I was doing yet. Was I that predictable? "If it's not that bad then why can't I call Sam?"

"Because he's busy planning a wedding with you. It's the same exact reason why you shouldn't be worrying about it. It's under control."

"What even _is_ it?" She asked with an agitated, vague gesture toward me. "Is it this?" She held up the puke bag and I snatched it from her and stuffed it into the underwear drawer of my dresser.

"Just trust me when I say that it's under control." It wasn't under control. My head felt like it was spinning, spinning, spinning, and my heart was speeding up in my chest again.

Would Edward miss me or would he just feel responsible? Both answers were worse.

She rubbed her temples, her scars twisting with her deep grimace. "I'm already planning two weddings with Sam's mother breathing down my neck, I don't wanna have to worry—"

"Wait, two weddings?"

"And receptions," she added. "Allison's whining finally wore me down. Now, I'm planning a second bare-bones wedding that 'better represents my culture'. It'll have an outside, cookout style reception. The plan is that during the cocktail hour for wedding number one, we'll be having the second ceremony. With that and the hired entertainment during the appetizers, we should have enough time to do it all. Our photographer is great, too, so she's willing to take pictures at both. And I know what you're thinking."

"Do you?" I wasn't sure what I was thinking. I was still processing what she'd said.

"It's insane. How am I going to change my makeup so fast two times? How am I going to change my dress? How is everyone going to be transported back to the other reception? How—and honestly? I'm not sure of everything yet. My brain hasn't come up with how this is all going to work, but I know it will. It'll work because me and Sam work and that might not make sense to you, but it does to me. And I'd rather plan another wedding than listen to Allison say one more thing to me about seeming ashamed of my heritage." She gasped for breath after her mini-rant, but still wasn't quite finished. "So, whatever I have to do, I'll make it work."

"Wow."

She laughed, but it sounded closer to a sob. "Yeah." Her fingers had stopped rubbing her temples, her hands pressing to her cheeks as she thought about God only knows what. Two seating arrangements, probably. "What were we talking about again?"

"How pretty you're gonna look in your wedding dress." She put her hands on her hips, not impressed. "You know, Sam's already worried he's gonna cry when you walk down the aisle."

She melted at the mental image I painted for her. I was going to miss using the wedding—or _weddings—_ to get out of things. "He is? I knew he was lying before. He's too much of a softie to just stand and smile. Did I tell you about how he got misty-eyed when we were trying samples to decide on the cake?"

"Only fifty times," I replied, making her give a weak chuckle.

"I'm sorry. I know it has to be annoying to listen to me talk about the weddings. It's like it's become my entire identity. I'm Bride McWeddingson." She whimpered and walked over to rest her head on my shoulder. "And now there's pressure to make Kaya the flower girl instead of Claire."

"Well, they're both your nieces. Can't you just have them take turns for the two ceremonies?" I asked, stroking her hair as she curled her arms around me.

"No! It's already hard enough now that I have to organize two different ceremonies and receptions. Switching out people's roles for four separate events that are happening in four dif—"

"Just use Claire for both and I'll handle the angry aunt and uncle for you."

She leaned up, looking at me with unshed tears in her eyes. "Would you?"

"Sure. Anything to help you be less stressed." I paused for a second, realizing exactly what I'd said. "Wait—"

"That's great news! Then, do you think you can take care of the pack while Sam and I go check on the honeymoon cabin? And also work with Paisley to get the price down on the arch for the first ceremony? And plan my second bachelorette party? And come with me tomorrow to talk to my flower vendor because you're gorgeous and he's lonely and will give me a huge discount for my two ceremonies and receptions if you just smile?"

"Uhhhh—"

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! You're the best! Yay! So glad you agreed. I'll meet you downstairs." She ran out of my room before I could even count how many no's I needed to use.

I couldn't even be upset. I'd walked straight into her trap. But since I didn't want her to deal with all that stress anyway, I wrote down my list of duties. Instead of heading back down after the fact, I laid down on my bed and eavesdropped.

It turned out that Peter's adoptive family weren't descended from the Ephraim Black bloodline. He believed and confirmed with Emily's help that his family came from a member of the tribe who left to see England. They weren't important to the pack, but they were significant to the tribe. They were an activist for our people there, attempting to fight for equal rights. He had heirlooms to prove it that Seth had encouraged him to bring. He'd stored them in his car's "boot".

So, the sister, Naira, wasn't a concern anymore. But the jury was out on whether she could be someone's imprint. Everyone's reaction to the pictures of her Peter showed was very positive, too. Collin, who'd come over some time while I was eavesdropping, didn't bother to look. Seth was happy to see the photo, though. Seth was even happier when Peter offered to help us try and recover our language. Apparently, he used to be some hotshot linguist.

They all seemed to love him. He was the perfect gentleman, super-intelligent, well-spoken, and funny. Plus, he might've opened up the door for someone to their imprint. But after a while, I started to notice something. Emily had grown quiet, fading into the background. It made me want to come down to see her face, but I couldn't deal with people anymore today.

I listened to her leave and assume I was asleep. She walked out to her car and it wasn't until she'd stowed her bag away and climbed into the driver's seat that she spoke. "Leah," she whispered.

To give her a sign I was actually awake and listening, I turned off my lamp.

"I don't trust him. None of us do. He seems off. It's like he's too clean. Something's just…off. I'll send Sam over. Seth, get Peter to go home."

"It's getting kinda late and we have class tomorrow," Seth said instantly to Peter with a fake yawn that turned real.

Peter had to have checked his watch since he went, "Oh goodness, it's beyond late. I should get going if I don't want to fall asleep behind the wheel as I drive back to the hotel."

"Sucks that you're at a hotel. Hey, maybe you can stay with Billy." I sat up fast in my bed, cursing under my breath. "He's close by and then you could be within walking distance of Emily. It'd help with the translating, right?"

"I couldn't possibly—"

"Billy would love company," Seth insisted, lying through his teeth. "You could stay in Rachel's or Rebecca's room."

It felt wrong to even think of a stranger staying in their rooms. Billy had left them open, hoping they'd come back someday.

"Ah, well, I suppose if he would be happy to have me, it would be nice not to have to pay for a room." Peter yielded. Most people did to Seth's peppy pressure.

"Forks sure thinks a lot of itself for being such an icy, rainy nightmare." Peter laughed at Embry's comment. "How long do you plan on staying around, Pete?"

"I'm not sure. I was only going to stay until the end of summer, for the program, but now I'm reconsidering. I was offered a job to teach a class at the community college. I may take it so I can stay as long as necessary to try and map out the native Quileute tongue."

Quil piped up then. "We'll talk to Billy for you. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you."

It wasn't too much longer before Peter left, the sound of his radio fading off into the distance. Sam's footsteps took up its place and I came back downstairs as he came in with Jared.

"What was that, Seth?" Sam asked, a severe look on his face.

"You can get to Billy's fastest and you said to keep our enemies closer," my brother answered. I stepped close to him, reminding Sam of who he was talking to.

Sam's flared nostrils went back to normal when he met my gaze and he let out a forceful sigh. "Don't make a decision like that again without consulting me." Then he moved straight onto me. "You heard Seth, right? We have to keep our enemies closer than even our friends."

"I heard him. I agree," I said, backing up my blood.

"Good, then you won't mind dating Peter to try and get information out of him."

I made a noise of pure disgust. "No. No way. I don't wanna date anyone, let alone someone we don't trust."

"The only other people who could get close to him are either too young or too busy. Besides, a seductress has an easier time pulling secrets—"

"Seductress, Sam? _Seductress?_ No freakin' way! Just because I'm the only woman in the pack, doesn't mean you get to pimp me out at your convenience!" I crossed my arms against a tremor that almost shook me off my balance.

Jared muttered, "Give her a break, Sam."

"I wish I could. I wish I could give all of you breaks. Do you think I like having you patrol all the time? I'd rather you all get to have fun and relax this summer. I'd rather our loved ones not be in danger. I'd rather leave Leah alone, but that's not where we are. Right now, we are on the defense." Sam stopped pinning everyone in the room with his gaze so he could look me in the eyes again. "And there's no one I trust more than Leah to make sure we're safe."

I scoffed. "Yeah, right."

"It's true. And I would never ask you to sleep with him. Seductress was the wrong word," Sam admitted, appeasing my offended pride. "I need you to be our spy."

I swallowed hard, forcing down my disgust at the prospect of dating. At least it wouldn't be real. Not for me, anyway. "Fine. I'll do it. For the pack."

"I know you will. I also know you'll neutralize a threat if you see one. Effectively and discreetly." He was right. That's why I'd make sure the therapies worked on myself before offering them to the young in the pack.

We discussed the rogue vampire's activity and the lack of it, among plenty of other things. I tuned out most of the conversation, though. All I could think about were the vials in my underwear drawer.

When it was over and everyone went home, Seth went to bed. My mom was already asleep, having passed out before Peter had even left. I was scot-free to take my first dose of the chemical therapies.

I stole alcohol wipes and a syringe from the first aid kit in the upstairs bathroom. I powered through filling up the syringe full of the purple muck, ignoring the cool stench of it. It was only when I had everything ready and the syringe at my arm when I hesitated.

_"I'll miss you."_

I put a bit of the solution back into the vial, settling on a milliliter. And I could do anything in small doses. I could do anything for my family, for Edward.

I pushed the needle into my arm and pressed down on the plunger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a lot of bad decisions being made by a lot of people in this chapter. Almost everyone makes a bad decision in this chapter. Oops. Also, I would like to warn all of you that the next chapter may be triggering for some. I don't want to spoil anything, but there will be a lot of blood and pain. So, read with caution when the next chapter comes. I will also put a warning at the beginning for those who don't read my end notes.
> 
> So sorry for the many mistakes! I got anxious to put it out because It's been a while. Please, stick around because this story, as I see it, gets better as it goes. I'm still really just setting up a lot of things for later. I hope you enjoy the chapter anyway. Thank you so much for the kudos, the bookmarks, and the sweetest comments I could ask for. I'll try to get faster with the updates.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special warning: There is a scene that may be triggering to some. Read with caution, just in case. It gets a bit heavy.

### Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.

The last five days could be summed up with few words. The therapies led me nowhere, not even having brought on _one_ symptom so far. Rosalie had stopped calling. The lurking vampire had packed up and left. My mom had gone insane. Emily had left me. And I was getting weird ghost calls in the night.

Anyway, Peter Alarie. Peter was the ultimate closed-book—he hated talking about himself and loved listening to trivia about me. I'd actually learned things about _myself_ through dating him. It was unbelievable. The only thing he didn't know about me was that I could shapeshift. In comparison, I still didn't know where he was before he came to Washington.

So, obviously, "Operation Seductress" was a huge success.

But, to be a little more fair to myself, Emily had recently decided I was the official maid of honor while she was pre-honeymooning with Sam—because, let's face it, it didn't take more than a day to inspect an old cabin. When or how did she make such a decision? I didn't know. I'd thought it was Paige, her work best friend. I even wondered if it was Dawn, her second favorite cousin. It turned out that it was me, though. I hadn't been informed because she was too busy with the weddings until she was out at the cabin—

Wait, I wanted to repeat that because it still didn't feel possible. Emily was too busy with the weddings to let her maid of honor know that she was her maid of honor. _Twice._ For two separate weddings, she failed to tell me.

Honestly, I wasn't even sure how I was managing to squeeze in dates with Peter into my schedule these days. I didn't have time for sleeping anymore.

Cake frosting, chair décor, late-night calls from lonely Larry—a.k.a the flower vendor. I was in charge of informing every cousin, aunt, uncle, niece, and nephew about the second ceremony. And now that she was checking on the honeymoon location with Sam, their calls went straight to _my_ cell, any time of the night or day.

It worked out that I was more attached to my phone than ever since calling Alice wasn't so difficult to remember anymore. But that was the only thing that worked. We didn't even get to talk for long since she was as busy planning her event as I was planning Emily's second wedding and shoring up her first one. She also seemed impatient every time we spoke, like she was waiting for something…

"Leah! Your phone is ringing! Pick it up!" Mom shouted from downstairs, huffing in her aggravation.

I leaped up from where I was licking an envelope for a letter to Emily's grandmother on my bedroom floor. I grabbed my phone from the edge fo my bed and I scrambled to press the correct tiny button. "Hello? How can I help you? Do you need directions, an update on transport back to the first or to the second venue? If you're experiencing difficulty in filling out the rsvp, don't be concerned about the meal plan. It's going to be a lot of meat, but there'll be a table for the vegetarians. Uh, we're still working on stuff for vegans and the—the—the pescatarians. If you need a—"

"I'm in desperate need for some time with the maid of honor." Peter's voice channeled through the phone.

I let out a long sigh. I couldn't say it was one of relief, though, since it still wasn't someone I'd wanted to hear from. "Fun as that sounds, I'm so busy that I could die."

"Well, we wouldn't want that. I'll come over. You'll have me at your complete disposal." The offer took about two dozen tons off my back. "Would that be alright with you?"

"Way more than alright."

He laughed, the sound warm. He'd been getting warmer toward me in general since we'd started dating. I didn't get why. I wasn't exactly being the best date. I'd barrage him with questions every time we were together. "Your wish is my command."

"See you soon."

I hung up and ran downstairs, narrowly avoiding smacking straight into a contractor. He moved to dodge and overcorrected his step. Without thinking, I caught him from falling on the thick pane of glass leaning against the wall. It was supposed to be the kitchen's new skylight. He'd been tipping toward it in just the right way to crack his head open and die.

"Mom!" I yelled as I hoisted the man back to his feet with one hand, ignoring his wide-eyed stare. "Stop having people renovating the house so late in the day! It's four o'clock in the afternoon!"

"Thanks, miss," the man grumbled. He used his handkerchief to dab at his glistening forehead, staring at me in awe.

"You should move this. It's a hazard," I told him, jutting my chin toward the glass before I went out to the back of the house.

She was packing up the planters and potted flowers I'd been maintaining for years. The rough patio furniture that we never used was already gone, in a box somewhere.

"They have to stay late since we're leaving so soon. If we want to have any renters, we have to make the place look nice. That reminds me, I have to double-check our reservation at that crappy hotel." She picked up a planter full of bloomed marigolds, tucking it into a box with care.

About four days ago, I came home to a startling amount of folded up boxes. Every day since then, they'd been filling up while I was out working. Mom hadn't gotten the promotion, so she'd decided it was "better for us to go". She claimed she wanted to move for my and Seth's sake, but I had a sinking suspicion she was being a sore loser.

We definitely weren't moving.

"Stop packing already. It's getting annoying now."

She sniffed, affronted by the thought of not uprooting our lives. "I can't stop packing because we're leaving."

"What, we aren't even staying for Emily's weddings?"

She shrugged and picked up the full box. "We'll visit for it. Paige can take your place as maid of honor. We're done living here."

"No, we're not."

"Yes, we are."

"Seth and I aren't even super great at controlling our phasing yet," I reminded her.

"Seth's slow to anger and you'll get the hang of it."

I crossed my arms, my head pounding out the familiar beat of an oncoming stress migraine. Been getting a lot of those lately. "Remember when we were on the other sides of this argument? I miss those days. I miss when you were reasonable one and said we couldn't leave and I was the crazy one trying to tear us away to a sunny state."

"Well, it turns out you were right," she said with a sniff.

That took me aback. "I was _right?"_

"Yes."

"And you're willing to admit that?"

"Didn't I already?" She wouldn't meet my eyes. "The Clearwaters only experience bad things here, so we're moving elsewhere and that's final." She charged back inside, leaving me worried on our small patio.

Come to think of it, she'd done this once before. Dad took a bad fall and broke his leg after Seth got a minor concussion from playing football with his friends. Seth had lost his baby tooth because of it, his last baby tooth. She'd packed up the whole house and hired movers before she caught me crying on Sam's shoulder about going. So, we'd stayed, just like we were going to stay now when Seth finally started to believe her and got upset.

But it did make me wonder. Would a simple promotion setback make her want to leave so bad? There had to be something else. Seth was thriving and I was second. It had to be something about her, something so bad that she didn't need any other reason to go. Something with Charlie, maybe?

More stress bore down on me and my head. I had to swallow down the well of it rising out of the pit of my stomach before I could move again.

"Where's that kitchenware box?" Mom asked under her breath from the kitchen. The poor contractors did their best to move around her.

"I unpacked it and then threw it away," I called out as I was heading back inside.

"Stop doing that!"

Seth came home then, in the middle of Mom taping a new box together for the kitchenware. He was smiling until he saw her on the floor. "Really, Mom? We're not moving." He still gave her a hug before coming upstairs to where I was back in my room.

He crouched down to give me a hug before flopping onto my bed. "Shoes, off." He kicked off his dirty sneakers at my command and then snuggled with Flopsers, my faithful bunny. I'd had the plushie since I was three.

"Need any help?" He asked as he twiddled the ear of Flopsers.

"Nah. Peter's coming over to help. I'll probably be going out with him after."

Seth nodded and closed his eyes, snoozing on my bed as I made some more calls. The hardest part, by far, was planning the bachelorette party. There had to be two now, according to a bunch of cousins. Emily caved. I got to plan the second one by myself and I was going to hire strippers, dammit. I already planned the girly, polite one with Paige. This one would have naked men and champagne flutes full of sparkling cider. Spiked with real booze because anyone there would know I'd kill them if they snitched.

"You smell different." He'd woken back up. I had no idea when. Probably during my screaming match with a relative.

I put down the written song request I was examining. "How so?"

"It's kinda," he paused, giving a big sniff. "I guess it's sweet. But it's also…musky. Like old blood. You need to stop taking the therapies."

"I am. Today will be the last time, I promise."

He sat up. "No, Leah. Don't take any today—promise and mean it or I'll smash them."

"Jeez. Have you forgotten who the older sibling is here?" He didn't even twitch at my remark. "Ok, fine. I won't take the dose today."

The day to run drills had come and gone. I'd opted to have a meeting then instead. I'd told everyone I'd been taking the therapies for a while and felt fine. Sam called, livid that I'd taken such a big risk, but he couldn't be too mad. Nothing had happened. But by the end of the heavy meeting I held, no one wanted to phase anymore and since the vampire had left by then, no one had to. I was free to keep my last few secrets, but I couldn't see that lasting past the next drill-day.

Unless I helped my mom move.

I breathed a surreptitious chuckle that caught Seth's attention. "How was your day, kid?" I asked him as a distraction, going back to looking through the song requests.

"It was ok. Nothing special happened. Can I stay at a friend's house tonight since the vampire left?"

I shot him a smile. "Yeah, of course. I'm not Sam, I won't say no to everything."

"I know. It's awesome." He smiled back, though it was a little less sure than mine. "Find out anything new about Peter yet?"

"Hoping I will tonight. I'm not gonna let him dodge a single question."

Seth was quiet then, disappearing into his thoughts. As I was tying a ribbon around the letter for Emily's grandmother, he asked, "Do you like him?"

"He's..." Attractive, intelligent, British, respectful, everything I'd dreamed of as a schoolgirl. And not even close to brushing Edward's heels. "Ok. His eyes though—"

"Yeah, I know. They go from, like, friendly to intense really fast. It's weird." He got a suspicious expression that was almost a perfect imitation of Dad's skeptical face. "He's normal, but not."

I nodded. "But, all in all, still a better date than Sam." Seth guffawed and I shot him a mean grin.

"Well, I think Mr. Peter's harmless," Seth said later, playing with my old, chipped jewelry dish shaped like a rose.

"Even so, his aura is off." Seth ruminated on my response, draped all across my bed as he fidgeted with my things like they were his own. That twerp.

He rolled onto his side to look at me as he said, "Old Quil says you can tell everything from a person's aura."

"Maybe Old Quil should date him, then," I grumbled.

"He wants to see you, y'know. Billy, too. He notices you only show up at his house when he's asleep or away. You have to face them sometime."

The doorbell rang and I hopped on the opportunity not to talk about difficult things. I made sure to go down the stairs slower that time. As soon as I opened the door, I stepped out and closed it behind me.

Peter's eyebrows quirked up on his face. "I thought I was helping."

"Only if you wanna die of boredom." I held out a hand to him. "Come with me if you want to live," I said, doing my best impression of Schwarzenegger.

He smiled and took my hand, falling into my trap. I started running—at a semi-reasonable, human's pace. If I wanted him to open up, he had to feel like I already had. And I was sick of wedding duty, so I wanted a break anyway.

"Where are we going?" He asked through his laughter.

"A hiding place."

Sure enough, I found a semi-new place for us in the woods. He was out of breath by the time we got there, so I pretended to pant along with him.

"Do you always break into random marathon sprints?" He asked me when he could breathe somewhat normally again.

"Running is one of my favorite things to do. It's something I'm actually good at."

He got serious then, his eyes doing that thing that made my brain assume he wasn't normal. "I'm sure you're proficient at many other things. Things you've yet to even try."

I spotted a log and sat down on it, patting a mossy spot beside me. "Like what?"

"I would love to find out with you." He put his hands in his pockets and strolled over to me. "To me, you're already quite impressive."

I tilted my head to the side as I asked, "Why's that?"

"Watching you help plan this wedding is truly unlike anything I've ever seen." He sat down beside me on the log, his hand ending up next to mine. I moved my hand into my lap. "Then again, you often take my breath away."

"Hah." I gave a dry cackle, fanning him with my hand since his face was all pink. "Sorry about that."

Humans were so fragile. Even when I dialed my speed back times a hundred, they struggled. "You're exceptionally fast. Quite right, too. You have amazing legs."

My initial reaction was to be annoyed by the flattery, but then I remembered my role. Seductress. So far, I'd played interrogator and that had gotten me jack-squat. It was time to sacrifice my morals and self-dignity.

What was left of it anyway.

"Then you must be able to read well because you have amazing eyes." Ugh. Gross.

"Ok, that's the first compliment you've ever paid me. Did you sleep at all last night?" He asked with a teasing smile. Was that actually the first time I'd given out a compliment? We'd been out on four dates already.

God, I sucked. "I blinked for five minutes, at one point." Since I couldn't flirt, I used humor instead. "Why? Do I seem tired to you?" I asked, slurring my words.

He chuckled, but took a more serious tone with me as he said, "You must take better care of yourself, Leah. It's very important that you do."

Interesting phrasing. "Why?"

"Are you asking me why self-care is important?" He had a confused smile on his face.

He was the most polite smart aleck. "Sometimes, you've just gotta push yourself aside. It's for family, so I'm glad to do it."

"And I understand that you love your family very much, but it's almost to a fault. You act as if you owe them something—like you owe the entire world something." He got a faraway gleam in his eyes. "I used to be that way. I would walk into a room and feel guilty for the space I took in it."

"What changed for you?"

He reached up, scratching the recent stubble he'd grown on his face. "I turned eighteen and met my granddad. We've been close ever since."

Yes. Finally. A lead. We'd already searched up Peter, himself, only to find he was a legitimate professor. A young, highly awarded professor and linguist. His family was adoptive, as he'd said. His sister had a private Facebook that we'd managed to get into through a cousin's account and that confirmed it. She was interested in her ancestry but too busy with schooling, just like Peter had said. But even though everything seemed to check out, it still felt _off._

By God, I would find out why. "Granddad, huh? Is that who you're texting all the time at Billy's?"

"Oh, has Billy been complaining of my dinner tendencies? My apologies." His smile became thin. "Yes, it's often my granddad. Although, I do have friends from all around the world that I like to keep tabs with. I feel like I'm talking about myself too—"

"But you and Grandpa Alarie are close?" I couldn't let it go. This was the most he'd said about himself since we started dating.

On some level, he must've known I wouldn't drop this since he pressed his lips together before blowing out a resigned sigh. "Yes. He supported me in my endeavor to become a college professor."

"Do you have tenure?" Test question. I liked to check every now and then to see if he'd lie about harmless things.

"No. I move too often to desire tenure. I want to travel while I'm still young. I already wasted a decade studying things I mostly already knew."

Even though I already knew, I asked anyway, "How old are you?"

"I went to university when I was fifteen. I'll be twenty seven next month. I hope that's not too old for you."

"Not even close." I was friends with a blonde ninety-one-year-old. I'd imprinted on a one-hundred-and-five-year-old. I could laugh at twenty-seven. "Don't tell anyone, though. They'd wanna throw a party."

"Ah, that wouldn't matter. I don't celebrate my birthdays."

Weird. "Why?"

"My mum died giving birth to me. My dad died in a car crash on the way back to see her give birth. He was bringing back diapers. They'd forgotten them, of all things."

Oh God. Wrong line of questioning. "I'm so sorry." Crap, now I felt like a terrible person. More-so than usual.

"It's alright." His eyes screamed opposite, displaying an amount of grief I had to look away from. "At least I got to be born in France because of it."

Wait. "Your parents lived in France? I though they lived in England with your uncle—dad."

"My uncle-dad?" He asked in a lighter, teasing tone. "No, they did live there with them. My dad simply wanted me born in France."

"And you've kept your dad's surname?"

His lips twitched into a small smile. "You always ask so many questions. Do you ever run out of inquiries?"

"I'm sorry. Last one."

"Deal. I did keep his surname. It was a long argument to have my last name changed back since my adoptive father had changed it to his, but I won. It was my birthright."

Judging solely by the last name, his grandfather sounded french. I was guessing he was another reason his dad wanted him born in France. If all that was right, though, that meant Grandpa Alarie had been influencing Peter since before he was even born. He didn't wait long to get into his life again once he was an adult, either, but according to Peter, he was a positive influence in his life. It seemed doubtful, though, considering how much the uncle-dad seemed to hate Grandpa Alarie. I mean, it took a lot of spite to deny an old man access to his one and only grandchild after losing his first child. Especially if you were that old man's last living son. It took about as much spite as you'd need to change your own last name so you didn't share it with your father.

Why would uncle-dad hate his own dad so much? Did he also hate his late brother? If he did, why would he have taken in Peter? Just to spit in Grandpa Alarie's face? It didn't seem like he'd taken in Peter because he cared about him, there weren't pictures of him on his adoptive mom's Facebook page, or uncle-dad's. There were hundreds of Naira and one with Peter cropped out.

I was missing something, some key piece that would make all the animosity make sense.

"If you're thinking about the wedding, then stop," Peter chided with a smile. "We came here to escape those thoughts."

I forced a smile. "Right. Sorry."

Maybe I was reading into it a little too much. Maybe it was just ordinary family drama. Maybe I could chalk up every other strange thing about him to a coincidence. Paranoia caused everything to look way more suspicious than it actually was. And I was as sick of interrogating Peter as he was of being interrogated. It sounded like he had a lot of family problems, but nothing that would harm the pack or the people the pack protected.

And if it wasn't harmful, I just didn't care anymore. My head hurt, I had enough stress for a football stadium's worth of people, and I was exhausted.

"Where should we eat?" He stood up, ready for our date that I'd already forgotten.

"Well, what are you in the mood for?"

"A good, American burger."

I started walking at a reasonable pace back to the reservation, avoiding his hand when it reached for mine again. He was always trying to grab me. "I know just the diner."

We went with my van, leaving his smart car at the house's driveway. Having gotten enough information out of him for today, I let the conversation meander on our date. We talked about daily life. Boring things. I appreciated the monotony of small talk a lot more after the dark turn our conversation took in the woods. It was way easier on the heart.

We got onto the topic of work during dessert. "I'm still going through the adjustment period, certainly, but I quite like it. The kids are charming and my coworkers are very helpful. They go out of their way often to teach me the ropes. It's reassuring," he told me, slyly reaching across the tabletop to try and connect our hands. I moved my hand swiftly into my lap. "And I'm not sure I ever properly thanked all of you for getting Billy to let me stay at his place." He was a master at flitting past my rejections of contact by now.

I kept hoping he'd stop trying altogether.

"You don't have to thank me for that. Billy was happy to help out." If only that were true.

The phone call where I'd broken the news to Billy was hellish. He'd pretty much just ranted and raved at me for sending a "cold one" after his son for sixteen minutes. Mom was often at his place since Peter had moved in, adding Billy to the rotation Charlie was on. She'd become a beacon for devastated parents afflicted by the world of the supernatural. All the more reason we weren't leaving.

"Ol' Billy was lonely anyway. He's being nice to you, right?" I genuinely wasn't sure how Billy had been treating Peter. I'd been too busy to ask my mom or anyone else about it.

"Oh, very. Cryptic, but very nice."

I chuckled under my breath, my migraine thudding away. "Yeah, well, that's Billy Black for you. When I was ten, I broke my ankle playing out by the creek after he'd already told me a scary story to make me stay away. While we were in the waiting room at the ER, he said it would never be the same again. He never clarified if he meant that about my ankle or his trust in me, but I sat up for a month thinking about it."

"Does he trust you with things now?"

"Well, I'm an adult now, so yeah. He used to trust me a lot, even let me baby-sit his son. But my ankle still clicks." Peter laughed, the happy sound a bit contagious.

It turned out to be a fun date. Anything was fun compared to how my days had been going lately, though. But Peter was a cool guy. He was idealistic, sometimes clueless, and smiley beyond belief. In a perfect world, I would've transitioned from fake dating him into dating him for real. It was odd to think of loving a normal man now. Even if his eyes and aura begged to differ with the label, that's what he was. Normal, human, boring. All the things a childish piece of me still cried for.

"Are you alright, Leah? You've grown quiet."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's head back, though. It's getting late." He checked his wristwatch at my statement, seeming astonished by the time.

He shot me a flirtatious and even my imprint-addled mind couldn't deny that it was a handsome sight. "Time flies when I'm out with you."

"Wish I could say the same." He laughed, thinking it was more of my dry humor. It wasn't. I really did wish that.

There wasn't even a brief second of silence the whole way back. He was great to talk to when I wasn't trying to squeeze a nonexistent secret out of him. He even had a gift for me that he pulled out of his trunk when we were back at my place.

"Aw, it's a bromeliad," I cooed, taking the potted plant from him. It had clearly seen exceptional care and I couldn't think of a better time to have one. It was still humid, but the sunniest it would get for the entire year. "It's so pretty."

"I thought you would like it." He sounded proud of himself. Honestly, he should be.

Its leaves were a healthy green, which saved me from worrying about its hydration. In the bed of green was a dramatic plume of red, brilliant even in the muted moonlight. It would make a nice addition to my room. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought to buy myself one already.

"This was so sweet of you, Peter," I said, smiling as I examined the beautiful specimen. "Thank you."

"You didn't seem to like the bouquet so much last time. I figured you would appreciate something that wasn't already dead."

Smart. "Right on the money." I put the pot down on the hood of my car with care. "One of my better gifts from a date."

"I'm honored to hear so," he replied. And had he gotten closer or was I imagining it? "I must say it's difficult to impress you, but it's worth it."

"It must be since you keep asking me on more dates."

He dug his keys out of his pants' pocket, unlocking his car. "Speaking of, how's lunch tomorrow sound?"

"I'm booked tomorrow from the afternoon and into the night." Brunch was a possibility, if I had to see him again tomorrow.

"Brunch, then?"

I laughed, taking a second to appreciate his unintentional mind-reading. "Some other time." I didn't really want to go on another date so I could be reminded how everything in my life was a lie and I would never actually be happy.

"I'll take your word for it." He turned to open his car but then whipped back around. "Oh, I almost forgot."

"What?"

He pressed a kiss to my cheek, near the corner of my mouth. My muscles locked together, doing the opposite of the dodge my mind had planned. And, for a second, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the touch.

Why? Because his nose and lips were cold from the chilly night.

When he pulled back, he said, "You're very warm. Get some rest tonight, Leah."

I watched him get into his car and back out of the driveway, not moving an inch. I heard him whisper just before he was out of hearing range, "Quel pouvoir."

And even once he was gone, I had to stand there and live with what I'd done. Who I'd imagined was leaning down and kissing me instead.

I was ruined. Ruined. Even with the bond weaker—or at least different than before—it didn't matter. Nothing could compare. I couldn't ever be happy with anyone other than—

I dashed inside, all the way upstairs and into my room. I turned on my white noise machine, grabbed a pillow, and let loose.

Screaming was its own form of therapy. Unfortunately for me, I couldn't scream much since my migraine was starting to get worse. Talking to Sam about the date would have to wait. I changed into my pajamas and cracked open my window, ready to crash.

I hadn't been sleeping well, not only because of stress but because of the nightmares. Every night, I saw what Alice had described to me back at the mountain lab's entrance. Edward kneeling on my grave as she and Carlisle talked in the distance. The weird part was that he always started crying blood before I woke up. So, I wasn't psyched to sleep, but I obviously needed it, if my head was any indicator.

Before crawling into my covers, I wanted to take some pain pills so I could drift off easier. I trekked downstairs to get acetaminophen and a glass of water. The mission was a success. While I was walking back to the stairs, I caught a glimpse of my bromeliad on my car.

"Crap." I walked outside, planning to scoop it up before heading upstairs. I'd watered all my other plants for the day. The concern for my new plant-friend was giving it a good spot in my room to absorb enough light. "We'll get you a nice spot."

I trailed a finger across one of its leaves before a drop fell onto the red flower. A drop of blood. I didn't waste a second, I went inside, put my pot down by the door and bolted out through the back.

I wasn't sure how long I was running. I passed scent markers and barriers like they were nothing. All I knew was I didn't know where I was anymore. That meant the pack couldn't butt in and freak out.

I started to relax and tend to the nosebleed. And that was when the pounding in my head decided to become too much to even breathe through. It was so bad, nausea decided to join the team of awful symptoms.

My knees planted themselves in the damp soil as I struggled to breathe through my queasiness. The breathing method didn't last since my head was trying to kill me, so it only got worse. Bile came climbing up my chest, burning and sweet until it reached the back of my throat.

I spewed _cold_ puke. It was freezing, verging on giving me a brain-freeze. So, that the migraines, the fatigue, the lack of appetite, hadn't been products of stress. They'd been mild enough to make it easy to assign them that cause, but now it couldn't have been clearer.

I was so damn stupid.

Seth's description of my scent came back to me as I tried to push myself back to my feet again. Old blood, but also sweet. It was the result of my body letting Edward's venom kill itself off, bit by bit. It was like everything that had died was coming pouring out of me now.

Why did my first impulse to almost everything have to be to run far away from everyone who could help me?

My arms shook and gave out under my weight, leaving me stuck on my knees. "Help!" I yelled and immediately regretted it. My head had to have split open from the sheer force of the agony. Even my panting into the brisk night air made it pulse with pain.

Calling for help wasn't an option. I couldn't really think of anything else with how impaired my brain was. On top of it all, my throat started burning. It was reacting like I'd thrown up pure stomach acid, but only ten times worse.

Holding my head in my hands, I tried to get a good look at what exactly had come out of me. Whatever it was, it had a slimy texture in my mouth. I thought I saw clumps in it, but it was too dark to see. I kept waiting for my eyes to adjust until it hit me that the bile, itself, was pure black. I guessed that the putrid, rotted lumps in the black puddle of my bile was the dinner I'd mostly pushed around my plate.

The nosebleed intensified as I was knelt in the middle of nowhere, trapped inside of the boundaries of my weakened body. Carlisle's words came back to me from the day I got messed up in the newborn battle. Vampire venom was a natural blood-thinner, an anticoagulant. When my nose and lips started stinging, I knew the blackness had started leaking out of me another way.

I was so screwed.

And I wasn't sure when or how, but I'd fallen onto my side. Cold had me shivering for the first time since I'd phased. I closed my eyes, straining to curl into a ball so I could try to save my body-heat from the chilled earth. If I didn't have heat, I couldn't phase. If I couldn't phase, I was sure I'd die.

Time passed while I was shivering on the ground, bleeding with no way to stop it. I could tell I was unconscious after a while, when I tried to open my eyes and couldn't. No dreams came to steal me away from the reality of what I'd done. It was like my body had shut down, leaving my brain to panic inside of a dead vessel. I tried to scream for help, to reach for my phone in my pocket. My body ignored me to continue its suffering.

This was it, then. I'd finally reached the end I'd been chasing for months right when I didn't want it anymore. And I felt like such a fool now for thinking I'd _ever_ wanted it.

I shouldn't have taken the therapies. I was being stupid. I regretted it. Edward would have been smart enough not to join me if the Volturi had taken me. He could actually reason through his emotions—unlike me. And I could've found a way out, eventually, however long it took. A bad life was better than no life, Alice was right.

I wished I'd realized that before. I was sorry I hadn't. I was so, so sorry.

My mom would die when my body was found. Maybe it would be of a heart attack, too. Seth would spend the rest of his already tainted youth mourning me. Emily would hate me forever and remember me as a coward. Sam would feel guilty for everything he did that he'd already apologized for and blame himself.

I couldn't bring myself to think about the rest of the pack. I couldn't dare to think about how Billy or Charlie would react, the two men who'd loved my dad the most. All my other cousins would gossip. They would say it was a suicide, but it wasn't.

This was all just a stupid, stupid mistake! I didn't want to die! I wanted to do so much more—I was hoping for so much more. I wanted—

Edward. I didn't want him to take this as his responsibility. I didn't want to do this to him. I wanted to make him proud, to be the strong woman who helped run the pack. I wanted to be a friend he could take pride in. Now, I'd be a source of pain that would remain raw for the rest of his days. Until the world ended.

Would Rosalie forget me after a couple of years? The stupid wolf-girl who'd tempted death time and again before falling straight into it. That was how she'd remember me if she even did centuries from now. How all of the Cullens would remember me. If they ever even thought to remember me. Perfect as their memory was, I was sure out of sight, out of mind, still applied to them.

Uncle Luke would come back into town for my funeral, just like he came back for Dad's to support Mom. He'd definitely be taking in Seth and Mom now, now that I was gone. That was probably why it was Edward by my grave instead of my mom in Alice's vision.

The last of myself began seeping out of my body. Thoughts of shame, of regret and self-loathing, grew fuzzy with a lack of focus. The air was still, expectant for the last little bit of me to come leaking out. Unlike the last time, there were no voices, no presence. My dad's voice wasn't there and I wasn't floating. I was probably too dishonorable to be allowed in the same place as him anymore.

Instead, I could feel myself fading away. My soul was joining an endless nothing. Dying. I was dying. I was dying, dying, dying—

_NO!_

A burst of panic kicked the frail beating of my heart up into a frenzy. Its weak beating was the only barrier against me and the cold of disappearing.

I had to survive. I wouldn't accept death, especially one without honor, without value. I refused to die that way, to leave behind nothing except for sorrow and hurt.

I pried my eyes open, throwing a sore arm out toward a tree. My trembling fingers dug into the dirt, gaining a good enough grip for me to pull. As a million explosions went off inside of my head, I gave a hard yank.

This time I would be honest. I would tell the people I loved just how much I loved them. I would get a job I liked and work hard for the things I wanted. I wouldn't give up.

I threw my arm out again, yanking myself across the forest floor by a tree root.

I would spend more time with Seth. I would listen to his favorite historical factoids and encourage him instead of calling him lame. I would move with my mom if that's what she wanted, too. I didn't mind San Bernardino that much.

I got to the base of a tree with low-hanging branches, panting, and already all out of the brief burst of energy panic had lended me. My veins burned, my tendons felt like elastic on the verge of snapping. It was down to my determination now. I reached up with a shaking hand.

I would tell Edward that I had feelings for him, that even if it all _had_ meant nothing to him, it had all meant the world to me. I would tell him because I didn't want to die with him never having known everything he meant to me. Everything he'd changed.

I latched onto a branch. With all of my strength, I hoisted myself up, the motion causing me to vomit all over myself. But since I was up, I was able to hook my arms around a couple of branches and focus on phasing.

Heat was a tiny mustard seed in the pit of my stomach, encased in thousands of pounds of ice. I had nothing but my bare hands and sheer will to melt it. And that was enough. It had to be.

I closed my eyes, imagining every tiny thing that had ever pissed me off.

Paul's jeering when I imprinted on Edward. Sam's dismissive attitude when I joined the pack. Rosalie trying to use me to break up Bella and Edward. Jared snapping at me for mourning my dad too much in the pack mind. Seth's busting into my room without knocking all the time—lower on the list, but still valid. Everyone in the pack thinking how I wouldn't last, pitying me because they thought I was going to live in Sam's shadow for the rest of my life.

I wouldn't live in anyone's shadow. In this life, I would walk in light. In fire.

My throat, already singed from the burning, black bile, stung with the ferocity of my screaming. My lungs burned from the air I was keeping from reaching them. Everything burned.

The bark of the tree beneath my arms started to crackle and the greenery close to my feet turned brown. The seed within me had sprouted and the vines of its fire sprawled along every inch of my being.

A shallow breath pushed through my dry lips.

I erupted, using the power of my ancestors to survive. It was a violent, swift thing, volatile to all the plants around me. I'd exceeded the flame I needed to phase, harnessing something closer to a supernova. As I looked around with cleaner eyes and a stronger body, I could see how I'd scorched the earth around me.

The venom was a thick frost in my system before my body accepted it. It wasn't a short process, but it was fast enough to where I couldn't be imagining it. Instead of the slow-burning away I'd experienced the last time I had venom in me, my body found a way to absorb it entirely. The second it did, I phased back and passed out.

Rain sprinkling on my face woke me back up with a weak attempt at Chinese water torture. I opened my eyes, blinking frantically when a raindrop landed straight into my eye. The sun was already up but, from the look of its position, I hadn't missed early morning.

I rolled over with a tired sigh, jumping when I saw the scorch marks stretching out from where I'd been standing when I phased. Old Quil had told us so many old stories of the shapeshifters, but I couldn't remember him mentioning anything like this.

Emily would have a field day with this when she came back. Carlisle would have a few theories about it, too, once he was back from his mystery trip. For now, though, I could make up my own mind about it.

I'd call it impressive willpower, for now. But maybe Paul was right and some higher power really did want me alive.

Well again, except for the lingering fatigue, I picked myself up from the ground, snatching my phone out of shreds of bloody clothing. My luck seemed to have ran out, though, since it was dead.

Time to start tracking my own scent back home.

As I came to a particularly big tree, a heartbeat came within hearing distance. I took caution, using stealth as I went around to see who it was. Smelled like a guy. It turned out to be an older man. He looked homeless and he was dead asleep with a rabbit skin near him and a dirty knife in his hand.

I kicked away his knife before prodding him awake with my foot. He woke up with a startled snore, reaching for the knife he didn't have anymore. After it registered that it was gone, he slapped a hand over his eyes.

"Who are you and why are you naked?" The man asked, his heart racing in his chest. Alcohol was heavy on his breath.

"Oh, right." I looked down at myself, giving a little sniff as my nose ran from the cold. "Crazy rave last night, I'm still trippin'. Hey, do you know where we are?"

He nodded. "Near Whiskey Bend. Fitzhenry Creek is a few feet that-a-way." He pointed with an unsteady hand.

So, I did have a sense of where I was. Good.

"Thanks." I backed away from him and he got up, still covering his eyes. I watched him take off his coat with his eyes screwed shut before he held it up in my direction. "Nah, you need it more than me."

"You're naked, lady!"

I snorted. "I noticed after you mentioned it the first time. Don't worry. I'll find clothes. You keep yours and get the hell out of these woods. There are lions here."

"Yes, ma'am." He went running off, not so much as glancing back at me.

Anyway, I found some clothes hanging on a line near a secluded house. I stole a huge flannel shirt and some socks. The woman inside who was dancing and singing to Prince was none the wiser. A pair of abandoned shoes were nestled in the hollow of a tree that I promptly shoved on my feet. They were roomy but better than nothing. Even if they did have a bit of a mold problem.

I wanted to say that my luck had turned around, but screw that. This was just what happened when I actually tried. I'd make my own luck from now on.

Hitchhiking was my next course of action. The only car that stopped for me was a big truck with a big guy driving it. I told him, "Forks."

And he said, "Hop on in." As he was driving, he kept glancing at my flannel.

It took about six times before I asked, "Wanna picture?"

"Sorry. I just have a shirt exactly like that. Faux leather shoulder-pads and everything."

I shrugged, keeping the nerves off my face. "Funny coincidence."

It was a bit of a drive to Forks, but I didn't mind. When we got there, he parked next to the sidewalk. Whatever was in his truck, Newton's Olympic Outfitters seemed happy to receive. The guy who'd driven me to Forks got a phone call as he was carrying in a box and set off alarm bells in my head.

I hadn't called Alice. And now, because I was in the middle of a bunch of normal people, I had to run slow. I got to the reservation way too slow and stormed into the first cousin's house I could find.

He seemed so happy to see me. "Hey, Leah! Wow! Long time, no see!"

"I know, John, and I'd love to chat, but I'm in dire need of your landline."

He scratched his head, but muttered, "Sure. It's down the hall."

I dialed Alice's number as fast as I could and every ring that came lasted an eternity. When she picked up, I didn't bother with a greeting. "I'm ok. Don't come."

"I know and I'm not." She didn't sound upset. That could be a trap, though. "Did you learn your lesson?" She asked like a smug mom who caught her child with their tongue stuck to a frozen pole. I knew that exact tone due to Seth's rebellious stage in middle school.

I ran a hand through my hair, considering her question. "I did." She started humming, happy, and unperturbed. "How'd you know? How do you _always_ know, even when you're not supposed to be able to?"

"You're so predictable that I hardly need visions to deal with you. By the way, I took away the set of vials that would've killed you the second I had the vision, silly."

I should've guessed that. I was a little embarrassed I hadn't. "Anything else you'd like to reveal?"

"You making your choice was integral. The other sets of vials would have done different things. Somehow, you always seem to accidentally make the right choices. You're quite special that way, you know. Keep it up."

"I'll try my best to keep doing things by accident."

She gave a jolly little laugh. "Perfect! I would also like to say that I appreciate the fact that you stick with your decisions. It makes my life a lot easier."

"You could've made _my_ life a lot easier by warning me, Alice."

She huffed. "You're _welcome_ for saving your life."

"Thank you, but that really sucked," I said, my throat tightening as I muffled a sniff by wiping my nose. "A lot."

"I'm sorry, Leah. I wish you hadn't had to go through any of it, but I couldn't risk disrupting the future. I can't see you well enough to pick and choose so much and I had to make sure last night happened. I hope you'll trust me when I say that it was all necessary for a better future."

So, this was what she'd been waiting for? I guessed venom tolerance couldn't hurt. "I trust you—sometimes, more than I trust myself." She'd played it really smart with those vials.

A flattered giggle filtered through the phone. "As it should be!"

"Yeah, you sold it with the whole whispering 'I miss you' thing. That and Seth telling me to back off of the doses did the trick."

"Oh, you heard that?" She sounded shocked. Then, she became very quiet. "Did that change your mind about something?"

I laughed. "Stop playing around. You know it was what made me decide to use portion control."

"Interesting. It's a good thing you heard that then." What she said next was more like a distant mumble. "I thought the warning was what did it. I could've sworn... Guesswork is sloppy work, Alice. You know that."

"Uh, hello? Do I get to know what you're talking about?"

"Ah, it's not important! What's important is that you survived and you're stronger for it. Anyway, we'll speak again in few days, Lee-Lee."

"Wait—" She hung up on me. I hung up the phone and turned around to see John watching with a worried expression. "So, how're the kids? You still make that killer cherry pie?"

He always got distracted when people asked him about his baked goods. "Sit down. I'm gonna cook you something that made Emily jealous."

"Gladly." I ended up eating dessert for breakfast with him and his kids.

On my walk home, full of pie and milk, I listened to the pack members in their different houses. Embry and his mom were ignoring each other again, so I guessed they'd had another fight. Quil was finishing eating, but he called Embry. Jared was cuddling with Kim at her house as she talked about how excited she was to have their own wedding someday. Brady was modeling for Collin who was complaining that he kept moving too much. By the smell of it, Seth was home. He was silent, though, and unmoving.

I sped up, getting home fast to see if he was ok. The answer turned out to be...kinda?

Seth was sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. It wasn't on. "You ok, buddy?"

He looked up at me like he was in a daze. "Huh? When'd you get here, Leah? Weren't you gone?"

"I was. And now I'm back." He blinked owlishly at me and I crossed my arms. "Did anyone call?"

"The phone rang a couple times earlier. I didn't answer," he replied, his face draining of its color. "I was distracted." Before I could respond, he got up and ran up to his room.

I listened to the familiar sound of his door slamming shut. "Give me a hint or I'll get worried and tell Mom to check on you."

"Nate has a sister. I've never even seen him talk to a girl at the program before, but he has a sister."

"Why's that something to be so upset over?" He didn't answer. "Was it Lana or something?" His heart sped up in his chest when I uttered her name. "Did she assault you?"

"What? No! She just—she's—we're dating now and I'm picking her up on my bicycle later tonight."

I ran upstairs, busting into his room with no regard. It always felt good to return him that favor. "How?"

"I don't know! I walked in and Lana was there. She looked surprised to see me, too, but then their dad came into the room and she kissed me. She introduced him to me as her boyfriend and her dad is the vice principal at school. I panicked. Next thing I knew, I was saying that it was nice to formally meet him and that I thought his daughter was amazing." My jaw literally fell open. "I know!"

"She actually got you to go out with her. I can't believe it." I crossed my arms, leaning against his doorframe. "I gotta hand it to her, she made a smart move."

"Ugh!" He groaned and fell back on his bed.

I snickered. "Calm down. It's one date. She'll lose interest after that and if she doesn't, we're moving anyway."

"You're on board with that now? You can't be serious!"

I shrugged. "Mom has supported us through things that would have made any other parent go crazy. It's time for us to support her a little in return."

He was quiet at that, mulling over my change of heart. I guessed he was fine with it since he went back to our previous topic. "I just hope my imprint doesn't hate me for going on a date with another girl."

"Of course, she won't. She won't hate you for any reason."

He said without thinking, "Unless she's a vampire. Then, she'll hate me no matter what and I'll never get to be with her." About three seconds passed before he shot up with a red face. "I'm so sorry! I'm an idiot!"

"As much as I love to hear you acknowledge your true heritage of idiocy, it's fine. I'm actually gonna go see Edward when he comes back." It'd be even easier to tell Edward how I felt now that I was moving.

"Why?"

"It's not important." I smiled to myself as I remembered Edward laughing with me in his room, his eyes lighting up. "Well, not to him. To me, it is."

"You're being weird," he accused.

I shrugged again, pushing off from the doorframe back onto both my feet. "I had a weird night." While I still had his attention, I said, "I love you, Seth. I couldn't have asked the gods for a better brother than you. And thank you for insisting I didn't take another dose yesterday."

He got up, unable to stop himself from giving me a hug. "I love you, too. I'm glad you listened."

"I do listen to you sometimes," I said as I patted his back.

"Yeah, sometimes," he agreed cheerfully.

I left him to mope after the ooey-gooey moment and got busy with my day. After charging my phone, I had a lot of calls to return I got around to them all and dropped off the letter for the old woman who insisted on making my life harder.

My mom was easily convinced that I was fine when she came back from work with a few questions. She got right back to packing again. With no one else having any other reason to approach me, I was left with an open schedule.

I took a long nap in my room to try and get rid of the exhaustion from my destructive phase. I didn't wake up again until the sun had set. And what better sight to wake up to than my mom peering through my door like a creepy stalker?

"What the hell?" I sat up, rubbing my eyes with the heel of my palm. "Why?"

"I was just making sure. You gave me a scare last night. I thought you'd run away or something," she said, opening my door wider.

The light of the hallway bathed my room in an orange tint, my plants casting odd shadows on the walls. "Can it be running away if you're not a minor?"

"You know what I mean."

"I wouldn't leave you and Seth, Mom. I'd have to die for that to happen." Nearly did, but as Alice had said, that wasn't the important part. "I'll text you the next time I stay out."

She lingered in my doorway even after my assurance. I was sure she could tell something happened. It was a sixth sense of hers to know when I'd screwed up big-time. But she didn't ask. I wasn't sure why until I remembered what I'd been thinking earlier about why we were moving. She knew she couldn't ask me for mine without sharing hers.

"I trust you."

I got, walking over to give her a hug. "Thank you. I trust you, too. So does Seth. We're both ok with you wanting to leave, if that's what you really want."

She chuckled against my shoulder, hugging me tight. "We'll stay. I was overreacting anyhow."

"I doubt it."

"You're right. I wasn't. I was going through something valid and overwhelming, but I shouldn't have let it affect you two. It's over now and I'm ready to be positive and happy with my life again."

"Whatever you decide, Seth and I are here for you. We love you and we're ready to move or stay," I said as I pulled out of the hug. "I'm going on a walk to clear my head, though. I'll be back in about a half an hour and I'll take my phone with me."

She nodded with a smile that reached her eyes. "You're different today."

"Different how?"

"You're less like my little girl. I can see the wonderful woman you've become." She patted my cheek. "I'm proud of you, Leah. You've shown so much maturity and strength lately. Helping plan the weddings, leading the pack while Sam is gone. It's such a privilege to watch you and your brother grow into remarkable people."

My chest filled with warm fuzzies, an unstoppable smile plastering itself onto my face. "Thanks, Mom."

She stepped out of my way. "I'm only stating the facts. Be quiet when coming back in, I'll be asleep."

"Understood." I jogged down the stairs, unsurprised when Seth hopped off the couch to follow me. He spoke only of Lana on our walk, which attracted Collin. He hadn't known, so he made a big deal about it.

For once, their stupid conversations didn't annoy me. I was glad I was alive to even hear Collin ask my little brother if he'd gone to second base with a girl.

To a point. "I'll strangle both of you if you keep talking about this crap."

"Thank you," Seth said, pale with horror from Collin's crude questioning.

Collin sulked. "Fine."

"Catch me up. Did I miss anything while I was on my run last night?" The official story was I stayed out all night to think about stuff.

"Nope. I heard Billy was up late talking to Peter, though."

"I don't trust that guy," Collin muttered under his breath, his expression turning sour. "He's into some weird stuff, I just know it. Paul said he saw him performing a satanic ritual in Rebecca's room the other night."

"Stop being so gullible," I scolded him, hoping Seth took what he'd said with a grain of salt.

"I'm dead serious, Leah. I bumped into him accidentally—"

"Accidentally," Seth and I repeated in unison, sharing skeptical smirks.

"Yes, _accidentally,_ and he dropped a brown paper bag he was holding. Candles fell out and chalk and a plastic tub full of glittery stuff, too." Collin started to get a little jumpy, flinching at the sound of a stag breaking into a run a few miles off.

I was going to have to hit Paul later.

I put a hand on the dumb child's back as a bit of comfort. "He's an English professor and he loves to bring in actual objects from the stories he's talking about."

"He does," Seth confirmed.

"Or, on the more realistic hand, he's hiding that he's an actual descendent from our magic using ancestors and is using black magic." I smacked Collin upside the head then. "Ow! You're so gonna regret that later when you find out he's an evil satan-worshipper!"

"If you'd been alive during the Salem Witch Trials, you would've sent a lot of innocent women to their deaths." Seth nodded in agreement and Collin rush to defend himself.

It was nice being able to tease Collin again and—oh my God, he'd never let me live that thought down.

The rest of the night was easy and even a little fun. Collin left when it got too late and Seth crashed hard in his room. I did something I hadn't done since he was little. I climbed into the bed with him, curling up into a ball beside him for a while while he was knocked out.

Tears drew horizontal lines across my face as I thought about how different this night could've been. This was the first time I'd ever cried out of relief.

I pressed a hand to his back, feeling the comforting beating of his heart before climbing out of bed to go downstairs. I had more wedding planning to do. Somewhere in the middle of it, I must've fallen asleep, though, because I woke up with a start to a blue-shaded room.

The sun had started rising again, beginning another day. There was only one heartbeat upstairs. Mom was probably already at work since she started taking extra shifts to help fund the move.

I rubbed my eyes, fighting off a yawn—

"What were you thinking?" A beautiful voice asked me, one I recognized all too well.

I shifted my eyes from the blue light flooding the kitchen to the darker spot toward my head. As I sat up on the couch, the blanket I didn't remember pulling onto myself last night slid down into my lap.

Edward was in a dining room chair at the side of the couch, positioned to where he could've watched me sleep. He was pale, that fact emphasized by the black suit he was wearing like he was in mourning. His left hand was balled up, hanging by his side.

I needed to be sure this wasn't a dream. "Who let you in?"

"Your mother before she left for work. What were you _thinking?"_ He asked again, his voice going from a lovely song to a furious hiss.

"About what?" I asked, my voice high and thin like a scared little girl's. Of course, I already knew what.

The hand that had been balled up throughout the short conversation flew up to my face. I flinched away at the same time as it opened. The small vials I'd hidden in my underwear drawer were fractured in his palm, some of the darkness inside of them staining his white hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH! I'm late and a lot of things happened in this chapter! I'm sorry if this sucks. I edited this a million times, but don't worry if you're worrying. Next chapter will deliver more on the romance side of things, y'all. It's gonna be good! The fluff is coming! So, enjoy all these grammatical mistakes I didn't catch because there are more coming your way soon!
> 
> I am SO psyched I passed 100 kudos. This means the world to me and thank you all so much for giving me so much encouragement as I write my trash lol! I was so scared to post on here because I heard people can be harsh, but you've all shown me so much grace and cheered me on and I wanna cry because of it. I'm telling this stupid, horribly paced, thing and you awesome human beings actually read it and find nice things to say about it. I promise to become a better writer throughout this process, so stick with me, okay? Thank you!


	13. Chapter 13

### Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.

"Before you get really mad—"

"We're far beyond that point." His voice was back to being calm, measured, but not soft.

"I can explain."

He pulled his hand away like I'd try to snatch the vials back from him. "Please, do. Explain. Explain why you were injecting my venom into your veins. Explain why you willingly and slowly killed every cell in your body. You could have died—although that never seems to stop you. I'm struggling to think of anything which would discourage you once you've made up your mind. Death, itself, only serves to provoke you." He spoke so fast that I almost couldn't understand.

"I didn't take those as a suicide attempt, but I'm not surprised you'd think so." He still hadn't let go of the newborn battle, for God's sake.

"Truly? This wasn't about how badly you wish to escape me? Loving me isn't so bitter a pill that you preferred death?" I turned my whole body towards him, pain lancing through me like he'd gutted me right then and there.

"How could you say that to me when you're the one who's been fighting the bond the whole time?" A tremor ran through me that was so rough it shook the couch. "I _wanted_ to imprint. I want you."

"Then, why would you do something like this, Leah?"

I had to take a deep, calming breath before I could respond. "I got scared. I didn't want to risk Aro—"

"Rosalie. Again? Shall I glue her lips together this time?" A bit of relief came when he directed his anger at someone else. "This is not over. Rosalie will be dealt with later. As will Alice."

"What're you gonna do? Guilt trip them to death? Tell them they fall short of the ultimate goddess, Bella Swan?"

His eyes lit up like twin flames. "That was way out of line." He stood up, walking out of the house. I threw off the blanket, almost tripping over it as I followed him out.

He held the door open for me as I stormed outside ahead of him and I jabbed a finger into his chest once we were on the porch. " _I'm_ out of line? You had no business clawing around in my underwear!"

"Believe me, it wasn't exactly a dream come true for me, either," he fired back. "I knew what I smelled and I couldn't let you keep them."

"I just forgot about them, Edward. I was gonna throw them out."

He scoffed. "Sure you were."

"Sorry that I have an actual life that keeps me busy, unlike you. People don't just sit around, listening to 'underrated' indie rock bands and Mozart while reciting sonnets about a _freaking rock!"_ I would never forget that stupid poem he'd read to me.

"Pasilo was ahead of his time. Those with good taste find it rather ironic that modern poetry was shaped by a poem about sculpting. And I _knew_ you didn't like it!"

"Leah?" Seth called from his room, his voice deeper with sleep. He sounded just like Dad.

I shifted into my calm voice as I said, "Go back to sleep, bud. I'll turn down the TV."

"Thanks," he mumbled, laying back down in his bed. Edward and I stayed frozen, so close our chests would graze when both of us breathed. Once Seth's snores started, I stomped down the steps of the porch to get to the awaiting silver car.

He dared to open the car door for me. "Oh, thank you for being chivalrous after rifling through my underwear!"

He slammed the door shut as I moved to get inside. "Open your own door, then."

"Really? Are you sure you're not over a hundred and, in fact, _four?"_

"Interesting question. It even reminded me of something! I've been meaning to tell you for _ages_ now that I've met two-year-olds with better sensibility than you."

"Nice form, but I'll have to take points off for a lack of authenticity. You hate derivative work, after all." He scoffed at my remark, climbing into his trashy car.

He took off once I was inside. Once we'd reached his definition of a safe distance to talk, he slammed on his brake. I moved to put a hand on the glove compartment to brace myself, but his hand came out of nowhere. It hovered a protective inch above my ribcage. I bumped into his self-made barrier, leaning into it until the g-force let up.

It was a relief when I could finally get out of his car. It smelled awful. "Now you're truly being childish," he accused as I was climbing out of my side of his trashy vehicle.

He got out of his side, too, watching me as I shouted, "Childish is being a century old and still choosing to date a teenager!" He clenched his jaw in reaction to my egging him on, but said nothing. "And I'm mature enough to admit that I regret taking the therapies! I was under a lot of stress and every other hour, I was in a depressive episode, so I made a bad judgment call! And I'm sorry to my mom, to Seth, to Sam, the pack, Emily, Old Quil, Billy, Charlie, my cousins, my coworkers, anyone but you!"

"Anyone but me," he repeated, listening to all my thoughts about him. "And why would you be sorry to me? I was only worried sick over you—terrified that my venom was the thing that might have killed you. In Alice's mind, I saw myself kneeling over your grave and I almost lost it. I had to come here, personally, to see to it that you survived but, alas, my feelings are of the _least_ importance!"

I geared up to insult him, but then I heard what he'd said. His expression had cut out all its anger, leaving behind the fear that always seemed to fuel his fury. I began to imagine how it might've felt for him to discover the vials. The disappointment was so easy to picture, the hurt was a delayed image.

He'd greeted me not with an accusation, but a question. Not as judgmental as I'd assumed. More disbelieving, scared, helpless, in retrospect.

"Ok, let's stop fighting. I'm sorry."

"It's not that easy!" He exclaimed. "You breached my trust, Leah. You went behind my back—you could have died! You came so close!" He covered his eyes with a hand, turning his back to me. "I would have come back and you would have been gone. And I would have had to live forever without ever seeing you again."

The car became a barrier between us, one that was unnecessary and unwanted. I ran over, throwing my arms around him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I won't ever do it again, I promise."

"You should have called me. You should have done anything except for what you did." His words were still harsh, but his voice was honey again.

"I wanted to call." I remembered being by his bed, considering contacting him. I recalled how I convinced myself I shouldn't.

His long, hard arms wrapped me up in a cool embrace. "You should have. Of course, you should have. I wanted to hear from you," he murmured, the words creating a warm blanket over my heart. "I would have answered and this could've been completely avoided. We would have spoken until you believed me when I said the Volturi weren't a threat. They can never force you to stay with them."

I leaned back to meet his eyes, having to reign in the dizzy delight of his face being so close to mine. "Why not? I'm one shapeshifter, what's stopping them?"

"Because you don't belong to them," he spat, his eyes giving a dangerous flash. "You're now a member of my family's coven. That should be sacred enough to them."

Wait, what? "Since when am I part of your coven?"

"Since now. So long as you remain a member, they can't force you into anything. You'll have rights in my world. The most they may do is invite you to join them, but, Leah, they aren't even aware of you. I didn't know about your phasing the last time I met with Aro. You're completely under their radar." He unwrapped one of his arms from me so he could brush my bangs out of my eyes. "You're safe, so stop putting yourself in unnecessary danger—lest you plan to have me lose my mind before the year is out."

I believed him. How could I doubt a single word that he said? He was good and honest. I was the liar. "You have no idea how much I regret what I did."

"I have a vague idea," he whispered, giving my forehead a gentle tap with his finger.

I placed my hand over his chest, the pulse of my fingers beating for his heart. "Then you know I won't ever do something like this again now. You know I'm not lying. I swear to God, Edward."

He clenched his jaw, his free hand coming to rest on the nape of my neck. "I know you mean it now. I need you to mean it later. You have to mean it all the time. This must never happen again. Do you understand?"

"I understand and it won't. I swear." I held eye contact for as long as I could manage before I needed to blink again. When I opened my eyes again, he was calmer, able to breathe instead of the shallow pants he'd been taking just so he could speak. "Are you ok?"

"Only if you are." His hand slid up from my neck, pressing to my cheek. "Are you?"

"I'm so much better now," I whispered, leaning into the chill of his touch.

We stayed like that, frozen in time together until he decided to come alive again. "Are you moving somewhere or are the boxes in your house there for odd decor?"

I snorted, rolling my eyes. "No. It's a long story, but basically no." Now that I thought about it, he'd missed a hell of a lot in my life. "Let me catch you up. Pay attention because I'm gonna go fast."

"As is your typical desire." Around thirty seconds later, he said, "I'm not sure I understand something."

"Ooh, the big vampire brain is confused? What did it?"

He scowled and let me go, pulling away. I missed him the second he was more than two inches away. "This Peter Alarie—he's not related to you?" He asked, taking a step back toward me.

"No. Collin suspects he is, but we're all sure he's not."

"He uses the term 'us' a lot. Peter also seems to be trying to ingratiate himself to you by any means possible." He put on his trademark worried face. "I don't like it."

"That he's sucking up to me?"

"Yes. He's far too fixated on you." Judging by his expression, I'd say he wanted something. "I would like an introduction."

"Now? Before dawn?" I asked, gesturing the blue sky. It was getting bluer as we spoke.

"Sometime today. It's the only way to know for sure what he wants." He smiled then but it was different. Mischievous. "I know I needn't worry about him launching any sneak attacks since you can take spectacular care of yourself in battle."

"Yeah, I could crush him like he's a can of soda."

Edward chuckled, alerting me of how much I'd missed the special sound. "Think about never being able to hear it again the next time you put your life in danger." He picked up my hand from my side, showing me there was still a little dirt wedged underneath a fingernail. "I hope it will make you more careful."

"I shouldn't need that to care about what happens to my life." Emboldened by his touch, I could get my next sentence out. "And I shouldn't have left so soon. I should've waited until the last possible day."

I waited for a wince or the infamous grimace. Nothing came. Nothing except for, "Can we agree to not fight like this again?"

I was happy to confirm, "We can." I removed myself from him, taking sobering steps away.

The smell of morning dew reached my nose since I wasn't so close to Edward anymore. Trees came back into my vision, I could only notice them reflected in his eyes before. The more distance I put between us, the more I remembered why I did leave him. Why I hadn't come back.

Nothing had changed. Not for him. "Now that you've seen how I survived— _again_ —I should get home. I have things to do, I'm a busy woman."

"That you are. Stay with me anyway." The words were so inviting, so tempting. "Besides, if we part now, I'll only spend the rest of the day thinking of you, worrying until I end up coming back."

"You do keep coming back, don't you? This is the second time. Third time'll make it a pattern."

"We wouldn't want that." He started for his side of the car, not even glancing back to see if I was going to get in. It was a no-brainer.

I climbed back into my side where I left my door open. I got so close to closing it before it slammed shut, a tiny gust of wind blowing my bangs into my face.

"Fast, but I'm still faster in my wolf form," I said.

"You wish," he replied. "Put on your seatbelt."

He drove us to an empty parking lot and turned off the car. He didn't feel like driving for hours and hours, I guessed. Couldn't blame him there.

"Not that I wouldn't enjoy the company on the way," he commented as he was exiting his side of the car.

I was about to spring out into the nearby trees when he keeled over. I ended up running to him instead. "What's wrong?" Had he changed his mind? Was he going to throw up because he was literally sick of me already?

My guesses turned out to be about as far from the mark as I could get. He was leaning down to untie his shoes. When he finished, he lifted one of my legs, slipping on the left one of the pair onto my foot. I watched, my throat thick and warm from the fullness in my chest as he tied his shoes onto my feet.

"That should be tight enough," he murmured before standing. "I know you enjoy running barefoot but I would prefer you to be safer today. Please, keep these on for my sake."

I cleared my throat, putting my hands on my hips. "Uh, sure. Yeah. Whatever." What the hell was with him today? I preferred angry Edward, I could understand him. This new Edward was completely unpredictable. I couldn't see the motivation behind his random acts of kindness.

"The motivation is me caring about you and your wellbeing. Let me know if the shoes are too loose for you to run in. In that case, I'll carry you."

I joked, "They're too loose. I can feel it already." To my surprise, he came toward me. I jumped away, my heart doing an identical jump in my chest. "I'm kidding! Jeez!"

"I know." He shot me a proud grin that made him look younger. He always enjoyed it way too much when he managed to fluster me. "Keep up, if you can." He bolted off then and I had to go into a serious sprint to catch up.

We were at his house in no time at all. The catch was that nobody else was.

"They all were all here when I left," he informed me, equally confused as me as we walked into the empty home. "I'm sure wherever Carlisle is, he won't be long. He has work today." He checked his expensive-looking watch.

"Could he be at the mountain lab?"

Edward shrugged, the act too fluid to be human. "Perhaps. It's best to wait for him."

"You're not gonna go check?"

"I will if he takes too long." He turned around from where he'd wandered to his piano. "Until then, we could talk."

I edged farther into the house, everything white now blue in the early hour of the morning. As much as I wanted to enjoy being around him for what it was, I wanted answers more. "Where'd you go for a week?"

He played a bleak, sad sound on his piano. "To visit familiar faces." Another grim chord. He sat down on his bench, right in the impression in its fine leather. "One of them is still very much in mourning. I wanted to respect that."

"Who died?"

"Have you ever heard of the Raindrop Prelude by Chopin?" A cruel smile twisted at the corners of his lips. "It has an interesting backstory."

"You're changing the subject."

"Chopin was on vacation with his lover and her son. There is much speculation about the events which happened. His lover wrote a novel and in it, she described what she claimed is the true story. When she and her son first walked through the door, Chopin was playing and said, 'I knew well that you were dead'."

"Yikes," I said, piecing together that he'd been playing pieces from that. I'd push him for information on who'd died later. He knew I would. "Why'd he think they were dead?"

Something glinted in his eyes before he blinked it away. "Like you, he was a vivid dreamer. Come, I'll play you the personification of his nightmare."

I walked over, crossing my arms as I got ready to spectate. I was willing to stand beside the bench the whole time, but he took ahold of my elbow and pulled me down to sit beside him. He loosened his tie with his left hand, starting to play a pretty tune with his right. His left hand soon joined in, making the song sound full before it took a sorrowful turn. Watching him play in his black suit made him genuinely seem like he was in mourning. His eyes closed, eyebrows drawing together as deeper notes cried out into the blue.

I was completely transfixed. I watched his face more than his fingers as they effortlessly danced across the keys. It held all the emotion of the song, all the dread. When the end came, the quiet after a storm, I felt like I needed to mourn the piece.

"You have something of mine," he reminded me.

With a bit of hesitation, I reached into my pants' pocket, pulling out the stolen page. He took it from me, unfolding it to examine it. It was clear I'd folded and unfolded it a lot in just the past five days.

"I don't draw as often as I used to. When I was younger, I was a lot more romantic, despite the belief that I, myself, would never fall in love. Esme always hoped that I would, even once I'd lost that hope, myself. Of course, then I met Bella. And then…" he trailed off, gently folding the page back. "With her, I would forget my age, forget the world. With you, it's impossible to forget who I am, what I am. But it's also impossible to be ashamed of it." He offered me the page back.

I couldn't resist taking it back. "You shouldn't be ashamed, so, good."

"You know, it should also be impossible we can even have this discussion. Yet, here we are. You look at me and you don't see a monster you long to tear to shreds for honor, for your father." He lifted a hand, brushing his fingertips along the curve of my cheek, their cold fading against the fever of my skin. "You see a man."

"Not just a man," I corrected him in that soft voice I'd gained since meeting him. "A good man."

His eyes glittered, mesmerizing me. The gold inside of them was the only color too vibrant to get washed out by the blue light. "My goal is to be even half the man you see me as." He took his hand off of my face, positioning it over the keys. "You'll love this one."

Surrounded by his sugared scent and languid music, I watched the sunrise. He played through the end of the blue hour, into dawn when golden light filled the room. He beamed when a ray that shot between the trees hit him. The brilliance of his skin threw rainbows, painting the white of his keys with his loveliness.

I rested my head on his shoulder when his beauty became too much, too distracting for me to hear the music. And the song was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard, next to Edward's laughter. I felt like I was floating while I listened.

I missed the piece after hearing its peaceful ending. "That's my new favorite." It felt disrespectful to use my voice so soon after hearing that masterpiece.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it so much."

I looked up at him, peering at his white face through my eyelashes. "Did you think I'd hate it? Especially with the way you play?"

He was a passionate pianist. Even if he started relatively calm, he'd always end up getting super into whatever he was playing. And he could never play one note. As soon as he pressed a key or tapped out a simple melody, he'd have to sit down and finish the song in his head. It was the most endearing thing I'd ever seen.

"Most would find it annoying rather than endearing," he said with a shimmering smile. "Would you like to hear something else or would you rather eat?"

It was still amazing to me how he could hear tiny, fleeting thoughts I'd forget the second I'd move on. "No offense but I'd rather eat." I was starving. Not sure how I didn't notice that before. "Kitchen's still in the same place right?" I asked as I got up.

He grinned in that crooked, vibrant way. "It hasn't been _that_ long."

"Coulda fooled me."

I stretched, remembering I was in sweatpants and a baggy tee. I called them pre-pajamas and I'd put them on sometime after my talk with Seth yesterday. Then I got busy planning and fell asleep—

"You didn't eat dinner, that's why you're so hungry." He stood up, looking ready to chastise me. "I'll get you a fresh pair of clothes later. For now, let's get you some food." He took me by the hand, leading me to the kitchen like I was a little kid.

Esme's scent was pretty fresh in the kitchen, triggering pleasant memories. Back when Edward was still gone "roaming the earth" after Bella had left, I would sit in the kitchen with Esme. She cooked for me and told me lots of stories, nice ones that ended with hugging or a declaration of love. That was how I got to know her and how I came to like her as Esme and not just Edward's mom.

"You never told me that," Edward said, drawing me away from memory lane.

"I don't tell you everything." I turned around from the fridge that was stocked full of fresh food. Esme had been hoping I'd come back.

I cooked in silence, relaxing as I made a simple omelet. Edward leaned against the counter next to the stove. He was as close to me as he could get.

He was clingy today. "I resent that remark." And sensitive. "Leah." He used a chiding tone but his smile ruined it.

I could get used to the new Edward.

When my thoughts would quiet while I was focused on cooking, Edward would get bored. He would do this adorable thing where he'd sing to himself. It was low and fast, so I imagined humans wouldn't know what he was doing. But I did. My favorite was when he would catch himself singing the song that was stuck in my head.

"That's sadistic," he accused with warmth in his eyes.

"Can't experience pleasure without a little pain," I said, putting my omelet on a plate. "But I'll be merciful today and help you out. Best thing for a song stuck in our heads is to not think about it."

He watched me pick a fork from the silverware drawer. "I'll take your word for it."

"That's what I like to hear," I teased, making him smile. "Ok, if you had to pick one, which would be your favorite high school you ever attended?"

He tilted his head to the side, considering all the lifetimes he'd lived. "If we're keep it within America's borders, I would say here. It's small and no one asks a lot of questions. The worst thing I've had to deal with are the imaginings of teenage girls."

"If you were in my high school, I would've hated you with a white-hot passion. You're against everything my teenage rebel persona stood for." He busted out laughing, causing me to laugh with him. "What about me? If I was around when you were going through high school, what would you have thought?"

"You wouldn't have gone to my school, considering the time."

That was depressing, now that I thought about it. "People were still open racists back when you were a teenager."

"I didn't engage in the mindset. I was often belittled for being too polite to people's 'help'." He pushed off from the counter, coming closer to me. "I don't think I would have minded the talk, however, if that was the price of your company."

"Favorite decade?"

He made a face. "I hate that question. I like and dislike every decade for different reasons."

"I thought for sure you were gonna say this one. You know, because of Bella."

"Oh." He looked taken aback. "Yes, you're right. It's this one."

I replied, "I'd say this one, too. My worst year, though, was my senior year in high school."

"Why?"

"Sam phased. Rachel—one of Jake's sisters—left. Emily became distant. Old Quil became more dismissive of me because I knew that he knew what was going on with Sam. People were up in arms about your family returning. It was a bad year, all around." I still missed Rachel. She'd been my best friend throughout high school.

"I see." A brittle smile curved his full lips. "I do remember the boycotting after Carlisle was hired."

"You think that's bad? There was an all-out celebration when you left after breaking up with Bella. Fires were lit, music played, it was great. Back then, I didn't understand yet. I disliked you because my dad did and I trusted his judgment."

"Hatred is raised, not born," he said, watching me our ketchup on the side of my perfect omelet. "Does it feel strange now, thinking back on your resentment of my kind?"

"I never hated your kind. I hated a different kind." I didn't believe people like Caius were the same as Edward. They were different down to a biological level. "But, yeah, it was weird living in your house for a while."

He crossed his arms over his chest, examining me as he said, "You took to it well. Most everyone accepted you as if you'd always been a part of our family."

"Most?"

"Alice has issues." He gazed off, out of a nearby window. He had the side-profile of Adonis. "That's not to say she doesn't like you. It's just that, at times, she misses Bella more."

Pushing past the warning voice in the back of my mind, I asked, "Is that like you?"

He looked back at me, pinning me with gold. "Eat, before it gets too cold."

That was an order I had no problem following. I ate my delicious omelet, sad every time I finished a bite. Edward smiled at the pang of disappointment I got when I finished it off.

"You can always make more." He was still standing like stone, completely comfortable. I had to get used to the bizarre stillness of vampires again. "I never knew you could cook."

"That's because Esme's good at making sure people never have to take care of themselves. She's like the world's most maternal ninja, cooking pancakes before I can even realize that I'm craving pancakes." Now I wanted pancakes.

He blessed me with a crooked grin, tilting his head to the side. "You know what? I'll make you pancakes. I'll cook until you're done eating."

"Best imprint ever."

After I ate like my stomach was a blackhole in disguise, I helped wash up. He'd cooked everything in his fridge and pantry for me, the least I could do was help clean. He smiled when I held my hand out for the dish towel and handed it to me, careful not to touch me.

He'd overthought something again. "I haven't."

"What is it?" I asked, ignoring his defense of himself.

"I'm not overthinking. In fact, I've not thought enough. Most of today has been pure impulse." He started scrubbing the grease off of a skillet he'd cooked bacon in. "I feel guilty."

I put down my bowl and towel so I could touch his arm. "You don't have to be guilty about anything. You've done nothing wrong."

"Haven't I?" The rhetorical question came off as searching. It seemed like he wanted an answer. "You can't give me one, even so. Since you're the reason for the question, you can't also be the answer."

"Well, let me take a shot at it. What's the question?"

"That's not the point," he said, frustration straining the musicality of his voice. He leaned away from me. "I should feel guilty. I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. How is that sane?"

I hesitated to say, "It isn't."

"But it has to be. It has to make sense, to be sane. It's all I have left, it's all that I can cling to. The leftover rationalities of a life so short-lived." He turned away from me. "I should go get your things."

"Edward, wait." But he didn't listen. He ran out, leaving me confused in his kitchen.

I sat on the couch in the living room, trying to understand what had happened. At least this time he hadn't been mad or spiteful. But who knows? Maybe this would turn out to be worse.

While Edward was gone, a different set of footsteps came. Carlisle's. I didn't turn to look as he came inside. I stayed still on the couch, my head in my hands.

It was minutes before his footsteps came to the couch and he sat beside me. His hand slid between my shoulder blades, giving a soft pat. "It's going to be alright."

"It's not."

"It will be." I peeked up at him.

His blonde hair was slicked back today, glossy under the sun. He hadn't fed in a while, so his eyes were a brownish-gold crowning purple crescents. There wasn't any disapproval inside them. All the anger I'd expected wasn't there. His eyes shone with compassion.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't even be here." I felt ashamed, the discomfort of it pricking at my spine.

"If you believe that to be true, why have you come?"

I wished I had some good, valid reason why I'd uprooted my resolution to stay away from Edward like it'd meant nothing. Like I hadn't cried every day over losing him. "Because he asked me to, I guess." I was so pathetic. I couldn't even blame it on imprinting anymore. Not entirely.

"And why do you think that is?"

"Hell if I know, Carlisle. All I know is I'm supposed to be staying away to make less trouble for everyone. But I did a pretty good amount of damage from a distance. Almost died because of it."

"I can only hope it worked to give you a fresher perspective on things. Then, it won't have all been for nothing."

"There's one very important moral I learned. A.L.C. Always listen to Carlisle."

He smiled, stroking a cold hand over my hair. "I hope that's not all. What else did you learn? What can you take away from this experience?"

"I guess I learned I'm not a quitter. I can't give up. I have to keep fighting, keep getting up even when the whole world is pushing my face into the dirt. I'll make my own luck, I'll fight all my battles. I'll keep going because as long as I do, I still have a future ahead of me."

"It saddens me to think you believed you had no future."

"Well, I knew I had _a_ future. It just wasn't one I wanted to live through."

"One without Edward?" He guessed with a sympathetic smile.

"One where Caius and Aro found out about me."

Carlisle nodded, turning stoic in an instant. My heart started fluttering in my throat. I needed to hear what he had to say about it. He was the only one out of all the Cullens who had been a cog in the killing machine that was the Volturi coven.

"I didn't tell you about him because I intend to make sure he never knows about you. Esme was right, as always, and I should have told you from the beginning. So, I suppose we both have tacked on another regret." He clasped his hands together, supporting his weight by bracing his forearms on his legs. "One thing you should know is that Aro adores the exceptional. He would never allow Caius' hatred get in the way of that passion."

"So, the real danger is Aro wanting to keep me."

"Not necessarily. I've suggested to Edward that we claim you as our own—"

"He already said I was a part of your coven now."

His eyebrows inched up his forehead. "Did he? I wasn't aware."

"It happened this morning, so it's a recent thing."

"I see." He paused before continuing, "Then, we really _should_ build you your own room."

I laughed, some of the tension draining out of my shoulders. "Thank you, but I'm still leaving after today."

He put his hand on my back again. "Tell me how you've been faring this morning, Leah. You mentioned almost dying."

"Yeah, that wore me out a little. I slept a lot yesterday. I'm right as rain now, though. And, according to Alice, venom resistant. So, that's a cool perk."

"We'll have to test that to be sure."

I sighed, knowing that'd eat up the rest of my day. "It's a good thing I had a big breakfast after Edward played for me."

"Oh, he played?"

"The raindrop prelude and one that went like this." I hummed the part of the melody that I could remember.

"Ah, that's 'Bénédiction de Dieu dans la solitude'. It means God's blessing in solitude and it's one of Liszt's pieces. You know his etudes and preludes often end in fireworks, one big last finale? Bénédiction de Dieu dans la solitude is one of the few that ends gently and it's known to be one of his best pieces. Edward has been wanting to share that with you for a while now."

I smiled, no choice not to. "Yeah, he's thoughtful that way. He knows I like Liszt's pieces."

"He cares, more than you know."

"Even if he does, it'll all end when Bella gets back. I'm just trying to give him today." This time, it'd be a proper goodbye. I'd say how I feel and we'd both leave with closure. As much as we could get with the bond still attached anyway.

"Is that what you want? You want him to work everything out with Bella and to leave again?"

I didn't want to lie, but the truth was too complicated. "What it comes down to for me is Edward's happiness. I would do anything to make Edward happy. That was why I left before. And it's why I'll leave again. Does that clear things up?"

Carlisle didn't answer. He pulled out his wallet and started shelling out hundred dollar bills. I watched silently, unable think up any comments as he took twelve hundred dollars out of his pocket.

When he held them out to me, I had to ask him, "Why is this happening right now?" And since I'd asked, I took the money and stuffed it in a pocket because, well, who wouldn't?

"Alice told me to leave a message with you, as well as this money." Money that looked like chump change for the Cullens. Would I ever really know how rich they were? "Her message was, 'you've chosen your path'."

The conversation from the cafe came flying back to me. My heart sank. I wouldn't need money if I was with Edward. "Is that the entire message?"

"Yes." Carlisle smiled, his eyes turning it apologetic. "I wish I had more for you. She won't even tell me what this is all about."

"It's ok. I understand, I was just hoping—" I shut up, taking a deep breath to get rid of the impulse to spill everything. Carlisle was too easy to talk to for his own good. "So, should we start testing now?"

He gave an apologetic smile. "I have to be getting to work for now, that's why I gave you the money. Esme's beat me to the punch today, but we'll both return near dinnertime. I hope you'll be ok until then."

"Gotcha." I had work, too. Work that I was ditching to spend borrowed time with Edward.

I was gonna get fired, wasn't I?

"I'll be fine. Have a good day, Dr. Cullen," I said.

"It's already a good day. You're here and you're unharmed." He got up, running up to his room. I heard him change for a couple of seconds before he came down in tan slacks and a blue button-down. "May I ask you something before I leave?"

Why was he asking for my permission? I was in his house, on his couch. "Yeah, anything."

"When was the last time you asked Edward what _he_ wants?"

The first time my brain processed his sentence, it seemed harmless enough. The second time, I registered the disapproval. The third time, I grasped the meaning. He thinks Edward might've changed his mind.

"You have a good day, too, Leah." And then he left. He just left like he didn't bring up a million questions in my head. I had so many questions, so many things to say—

Crap, I hadn't told him about the other night with the phasing and the burning. I could tell him later today, but what the hell was I supposed to do when Edward came back?

Ask him what he wanted, I guessed.

I tooled around Edward's room and all its familiar things while I waited for him to come back. The picture of Bella was gone. I found it face-down in a drawer. His CD arrangement had changed, more Liszt showing up in his collection than before. I put on the track for Un Sospiro, humming to it as I laid in bed, relaxing. It would probably be the last time I ever got the chance to do it.

Unless Edward had changed his mind.

It felt like so many things had changed. Even when Edward and I were at our best before I moved out, it was never this good between us. His tiny freakout earlier felt nuclear to me even though it was tame compared to before. It had felt so big because today was so exceptionally wonderful. So peaceful, and fun, and just everything I'd been dreaming of since I'd imprinted on him. And that was because of Edward. He'd changed.

But it didn't matter now, did it? Carlisle didn't hand me so much cash as a congratulations gift for winning Edward over. It was to help me in getting to wherever Bella and Jacob were. It couldn't possibly have been for anything else.

Screw it then. I'd just enjoy whatever I could get today with no regrets. This was my last day with Edward. I wouldn't waste it.

By the time I heard Edward running back, I was excited for the rest of the day. As I ran downstairs to meet him, it occurred to me that I was acting like a literal dog that couldn't wait to greet its owner. Any sense of wounded pride I felt vanished when he opened the door and revealed his ear-to-ear grin.

"Welcome home," I said, grinning back at him. "I'm gonna take a wild guess that you're feeling better."

"I am. I drove Seth to his program." He handed me my bag of stuff after I pranced over to him. "We arrived late, so I didn't get to meet Peter. His thoughts had a reverb I've never experienced before, but all he thought of were his students. It's unfortunate."

Wait, he drove Seth from La Push to Seattle? I looked at the nearby grandfather clock, my heart skipping a beat. "Just how fast were you speeding?"

"Not at all. I know shortcuts." I set a glare on him. He had a sheepish smile as he murmured, "There was slight speeding. All safe, I promise."

"Safe speeding, never heard of it." He gave a tiny guilty grin before I peeked inside of my bag. No underwear, thank God.

"Will you ever let that go?"

I cackled under my breath, digging around the wedding planning stuff he'd brought. "Someday. Not today." Something soft brushed my fingers and sparked my curiosity. I pulled it out, gasping when I saw what he'd packed me.

"I had to ask Seth if it was his. He assured me this was your bunny," Edward said as I stared into Flopsers' button eyes. I saw him grinning in my peripheral—he'd moved there just so I _could_ see it.

"He's lying. It's Seth's. That's who's it is." His grin broadened. I hugged Flopsers to my chest, smoothing down his ears. "Ok, so it's mine. So what? What're you gonna say about it?"

"Nothing." He let out a pretty chuckle. "I don't have to."

I turned on my heel, marching up to his room to change. "I hate you." His laughter chased me upstairs even as he went for the living room.

I put down my bag and closed his door behind myself, locking it in my anger. Since he was already tinkling away at his piano, I changed without worrying about him seeing too much. When I was done, I put everything in my bag, patting my bunny before putting him away.

Edward laughed at that. "I never knew you had this side to you."

"What side?" I asked as I was jumping over the stairs. I was too impatient to walk down them.

"I'm not sure what to call it, but it's my new favorite," he finished with some thought, a sweet smile on his face. "He's the only one you kept growing up?" I stopped at the couch, not walking the full way over to him.

I had to think about my answer. "People would buy me a bunch of different dolls and things, but yeah. He's the only one I kept."

"Why?"

"In the words of my six-year-old self, 'he's too dapper to give away'. I also liked his feet."

He glanced back at me, still grinning. "They're very fluffy."

"The fluffiest." I strolled over to him, my hands clasped behind my back. "Teach me something?"

He patted the spot next to him on the bench. "Absolutely."

Satisfied with his easy agreement, I plopped down next to him. He guided my hands up to the keys, adjusting my fingers before pressing down with his hands over mine. "That's a chord."

"Fancy."

He laughed, the sound filling the house. "It's simple, actually. The next one is going to be an even simpler chord."

I had to focus on where he was placing my fingers. All these dumb little, keys looked the same. Edward chuckled at the thought.

After I got comfortable with the two chords, he started to play a melody on the right side of the piano. I plucked away at the few keys I knew were safe, proud of myself. Too proud, probably.

"Be proud, you're doing great," he murmured way too close to my ear. My fingers slipped and made a loud, ringing mistake that harmonized with Edward's laughter. "Mistakes are necessary."

"Well, that one was your fault," I said with an offended sniff. "You're too distracting."

"I have to speak to be able to teach you," he reasoned.

I crossed my arms, shaking my head. "Nope. If I'm gonna learn anything, you'll have to put a bag over your head and speak different."

"Different how?" He asked.

"Like this," I said in the gruffest voice I could manage. Laughter bubbled out of him, loud, and gorgeous. "Also, it's a good thing that I'm not amazing at piano." I pushed my whole hand down, the keys making a loud, jumbled sound. "It makes me the perfect piano partner for you."

"Piano partner?" He asked through his laughter

"Uh-huh. Because if I wasn't your piano partner, your playing would be too perfect. Everyone would just immediately suspect that you're a vampire and then they'd know that I'm a wolf because I'm so woodsy."

He hadn't stopped grinning since he'd made me make my mistake. "What's the solution to our predicament?"

"Well, the _obvious_ solution, Edward, is to be piano partners and balance each other out." I put both of my feet down on the pedals and pressed keys wherever I saw fit, even including the smaller, black keys. Through all the chaos and noise, I heard his laughter.

He slid an arm around me. I didn't even think he noticed he did it, touching me had become second-nature to him. "Fantastic idea. I'm glad I'm the one who invited such a brilliant mind into the coven."

"You should be honored."

"Oh, I most certainly am," he said, eyes alight. "Let's play, partner."

I was about to assume my position for my two chords when the worst thing in history happened. My phone rang.

I clogged my brain full of Liszt melodies as I leaped off the bench for my phone. Edward stared at me like I'd grown two heads as I dug through my bag for the pesky thing.

"Be back in a sec," I said, deciding to take the whole bag since I couldn't find my phone in my blind search. "Don't follow me."

"Ok," he whispered, clearly thrown by the change in my mood.

I wanted to apologize, but I couldn't afford to think around him. I booked it out of the house, sprinting away. My phone kept ringing and ringing. I didn't pick it up until I was at the landmark Rosalie had left tied around a tree when she wanted Edward out of her head.

Finding the phone was a lot easier when I could look without having to worry about thought-management. "Where the hell have you been?" I growled as soon as I took her second call.

"I found Bella and the mutt."

Numbness took ahold of me. I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. How could it all be over so fast?

" _Hellooo?_ Is there still a puppy on this phone?"

I could have hung up. I could have pretended I hadn't ever gotten the call and spent my last day with Edward as I'd wanted. "How's Bella? Is she ok?"

"No, she's not ok. She's insane. Everything's insane here, it's unbelievable. We have plenty more than the one huge problem we'd expected for me to find. Can you send your alpha out to us?"

"I can try to get in touch with him, but I doubt he'll answer. He's out of town." The money was in my bag, still inside my sweatpants' pocket. "I'll come. Should I bring anyone with me?" I was assuming she'd say I should bring Edward.

"No. It would incite anger in the family if they knew what was happening." Ok, didn't see that coming. "I would tell you why but the mongrel can hear me. I can't leave them alone, though, because they'll run. The only time I can get away is when they're sleeping and they're not currently."

At least there would be one good thing to come out of this. Jacob had gotten the beatdown of a lifetime before he left. I wouldn't have been surprised if he was a little more humble when I saw him.

"Where am I flying out to?"

"Helsinki, Finland. I'll meet you at the international airport, even if I have to bring them with me. Hurry up. I don't want it to get any worse here." She hung up.

If Rosalie was sure bringing anyone with me was a bad idea, I trusted her. She'd only ever told me the truth, even when it was hard to swallow. And we could get through whatever it was together, I didn't doubt that. The real question was: At what price?

Was there any price I wouldn't pay to make sure Edward got to be happy? To make sure that Billy didn't have to lose his son on top of losing his wife and his best friend? To protect a human girl who's only eighteen from cold ones who'd happily harm her?

My happiness wasn't enough to stand in the way of all that.

I started running, not bothering phasing since I could sprint home fast enough for my liking. I'd never been to Europe, I wasn't sure what to expect from it. It wasn't like I could ask my mom either because then she'd know what I was doing and she'd also never been out of America.

To boldly go where no Clearwater has ever gone. This wasn't how I imagined I'd travel the world. It seemed ridiculous now that I'd ever fantasized about Edward being with me when I did.

When I got home, Embry and Jared were there, ready to intercept me on my porch. That made it easier for me to tell them I was leaving.

"Leah, you have to tell us what the hell is going on," Jared demanded, tailing me as I went inside.

"We smelled weird stuff in the woods. It was this goo that smelled a little like you and we found your blood."

Great. A lot of things weren't able to wait for one freaking day.

"We're sick of you not being around! What if the vampire had come back?"

"We were so worried about you, Leah. You have to tell us what's going on."

"Yeah, tell us what's going on or we'll call—"

"Ok already!" I yelled, turning around once I was in my room. The two of them almost crashed into me. "I had a bad reaction to the therapies and survived it. I'm now at least a little resistant to vampire venom. I was at the Cullens' house because I was spending time with Edward because he was worried about me. I'm leaving now since I found out where Jake and Bella are. I'm not telling you where because I don't want Edward to know. You two are in charge until Sam gets back tomorrow but keep calling him to see if he can come back any sooner."

"You found Jake?" Embry was a talented selective-listener. "Is he ok?"

"I don't know yet." I darted around my room, throwing everything I could think of into my suitcase. "I'll be back soon. If I don't come back and only Rose, Jake and Bella do, write me off as a loss."

My instruction did something to Jared's mind. "No. No, Leah. I won't let this happen. If Sam were here, he wouldn't either. You can't just go and leave us to potentially die out there. It's one thing keeping your secrets, it's another thing letting them kill you! I won't have it!"

"I'm going." I closed my suitcase before turning to face the two. I straightened up, using my full height as I stalked toward Jared. He was only two or so inches taller than me. "Even if I have to go through you to do it." I stopped just in front of him, invading his space.

He gritted his teeth, looking away as he flexed his hands. "Fine."

"Good." I eased back. I didn't want to use intimidation tactics, but I also didn't have the time to talk him through it.

The two were silent as I wrote a note for my mom and Seth and then raced back downstairs. They even helped me put my suitcase in the trunk of my can so I could hop into the driver's seat faster.

Jared came up to the window as I started my engine and I rolled it down. "Sam's gonna be pissed."

"Not if you do a good job while I'm awol. I'm counting on you. I'm counting on the both of you." I looked at Embry who was standing off to the side, including him in the conversation. "I can't think of two people more capable of watching over the pack while the three of us aren't here to help."

Jared's frame relaxed a bit. "Damn straight."

"Hold down the fort as well as I know you guys can. Any slacking will be punished harsher than I'll be when I get back."

I was about to drive away when Jared asked, "Does this mean I'm alpha for the day?"

"Sure. You're acting alpha. Embry's acting second-in-command." My leg bounced with pent-up anxiety as I spoke too slow for my liking. "Hey, and don't let Paul be the person who cooks while Emily and I are gone. The only time I've ever gotten a stomach ache since phasing is from his cooking."

"Done and done," Jared said and stepped away from my van. I peeled out as fast as it would allow.

On my way to the airport, I tried to think of exactly what I was going to say to convince Bella to come back. Edward had said he didn't want me to threaten her, so that left me with trying to persuade her, and I wasn't exactly a poet.

My phone sang and I picked it up fast. "If you keep calling, I'll get there a lot slower."

"I was only wondering what was taking so long," Edward's voice answered.

I almost swerved off the road. I rolled down my window to flip-off the three different cars that honked at me after I'd recovered. "I didn't know it was you." I thought I'd set a different ringtone for Edward when Rosalie insisted I give it to her contact instead.

"If you didn't know it was me, then you're going somewhere else. You're not coming back."

"It'd be weird if I didn't come back. I kinda live here." He was quiet, only the loud hum of my car to listen to. The time for joking and smiling had come and gone. "Look, I'm not into anything dangerous. I promise." I doubted he'd believe me but it was worth saying.

He didn't acknowledge anything I'd said. "Where are you going, Leah?" He asked in a way that made me sure he already knew.

"To see familiar faces. Be back soon." I hung up on him, giving him the Rosalie treatment.

I made my turn into the airport lane for short-term parking. I got my ticket for my two weeks I could leave my car and parked in the first empty spot. Throughout that process, my phone never stopped ringing.

There was no way he could catch me in time. Everywhere around the airport was too populated for him to be able to make use of his speed. I was free to go.

Before I knew it, I was inside the airport with my suitcase, buying a round-way ticket for Finland.

"Here is your boarding pass. You're booked for a round trip to Helsinki back here to Seattle. Your flight's in about an hour at gate D7 and you'll have a layover in London. Your connecting flight there will take you to Finland. You have plenty of time to get to that connecting flight in London, even if this flight arrives there late. Coming back, though, you'll have two different layovers. First, you'll stop at Portugal and don't be concerned if your flight is delayed by a half an hour because you'll still have another wide window to get to your connecting flight which'll lead into your layover in New Jersey. Followin' me so far, hon?"

Holy crap. "Yes."

"Alright, the rest is easy. You get on your connection flight in New Jersey'll take you straight back here to Seattle. You're booked for economy all the way through and you'll only be in the big international airports which are all kinda the same. Very easy to navigate. Memorize your gates while on your flights and you can go get your luggage checked now." The kind woman handed me my passes, done pointing to all the numbers and abbreviated words to help me out. "Next!"

I rolled my suitcase over to have it checked and prepared myself for the level of jet-lag I was going to suffer. The TSA line was easy since I only had my phone on me. I slipped right through, grabbed my shoes, and went to wait at my gate.

After several minutes of nosy strangers staring at me, I had to turn off my incessantly ringing phone. A woman's voice announced a few seconds later that the plane was ready to board passengers. People started lining up, passes out, and carryons in hand. I took my place at the end of the line.

This was the right thing to do. And not only that, this was what Edward wanted. Win-win situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is a little earlier than normal. I hope I delivered alright on the fluff and that you're excited to see what Jacob and Bella have been up to! Next chapter is gonna be a lot for all of you to process lol. Prepare yourselves!
> 
> So sorry for the drop-off in quality in the last chapter, I wrote most of it while on a road trip to my new place of living. I hope this is better! Thank you all so much for your lovely words that I reread all the time. I'm sorry that I don't have a consistent schedule right now, but it'll get better when I'm all moved in. I used to update once a week, if you can believe it lol. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, sorry for any mistakes, thank you for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

### Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.

"You look terrible."

Rosalie had been waiting for me outside of the baggage claim area. She stood tall in her black high-heeled boots matched to her short, strapless dress. A black peacoat was over her shoulders and her hair was up, pulling all the focus to her big, red, floppy hat. Everyone looked at her as they passed her.

"You look expensive."

She smiled behind her cat-eye sunglasses. "Thank you." She took my suitcase from me, exposing her red gloves. "I hadn't dressed up in a while. I miss looking sexy for Emmett."

"I bet. Huh, you're actually taller than me in those." It was her tallest pair of heels I'd seen yet.

"I know, it ruins the immersion." She pouted her crimson painted lips. "You make a terrible man."

I snorted. "I take that as a compliment, Rose." She scoffed and started strutting away. I kept pace with her. "How'd you manage to keep the two busy so you could pick me up?"

"Oh, it was easy to get away once I had the proper motivation. I drugged them this morning."

"You _what?"_

"Calm yourself. I didn't give them opioids, I dosed three milkshakes with Benadryl—and, yes, it took _two_ milkshakes full of Benadryl to take the mutt down. I hope they go straight to his gut," she said, narrowing her eyes at the thought of Jacob.

I grabbed her arm, forcing her to speed up with me. "Repeat after me. Drugging people is wrong."

"It was very effective, actually. I'm proud of myself for thinking of it." She tittered, the smooth sound catching even more people's attention even in a busy airport. "They'll be awake by the time we arrive, I'm sure. There's no reason to worry after them, the Volturi stopped their obsessive watch shortly after I arrived. No idea why."

"Maybe Bella's just not that interesting." Rosalie's red-stained lips twitched up into a smirk at my reply. She was wearing eyeshadow, too, but any more would've taken away from her beauty. "I didn't mean that in a bitchy way."

"Sure, you didn't," she purred.

I moved swiftly on. "How long has it been since you found them?"

"Several days. I was going to tell you once I'd found them, but problem after problem kept me busy. It became clear I needed to bring Bella back, but the dog kept getting in my way." There was barely a pause between that thought and her next one. "Has Alice told you anything? I can't seem to get ahold of her."

"She gave me a message before I left. This is all gonna go one way."

"And which way is that?"

"She didn't say and I'm not gonna guess. I don't wanna jinx it." I opened the door for the two of us and we walked out into a partially cloudy afternoon. Her hat and coat blocked any direct sunlight, so she was safe for mortal eyes as she led me to where she'd parked.

Jacob's stupid car knowledge had rubbed off on me after phasing for so long with him and I recognized the model. It was a 2002 Chevrolet Camaro Z28, bright red. I climbed into the passenger's side, the entire interior a sleek back with comfortable seats. Neither of us bothered buckling up before she hit the gas. She maneuvered us out of the long line of waiting cars and back onto the road.

When we got onto a highway, she broke the comfortable silence to say, "Bella's not acting weird in her typical way."

"So I've heard."

"Yes, but you're about to know why now." She took off her hat, throwing it in the back. "Problem one, she smelled like one of my kind when I found her in a store with her pet."

"She smelled like a vampire _before_ you met her?"

"The mutt knew it, too. He claimed she'd disappear and he wouldn't see her until she came back to the hovel they called a hostel hours later. I've witnessed her disappearing act several times since arriving here and I'll say one thing about it." She put on her blinker, passing several cars that were annoyingly slow. "It's awfully clever. She's escaped Alice and Jasper before, but that was only because she knew the area better than them. This is Finland. She's never been to Finland. I couldn't explain her neat little trick, except for the fact that the vampire was helping her."

"And there are more problems than this?"

"Yes." She rapped her gloved fingers against the steering wheel, pursing her lips. While she was sulking, I stared out of the window, sand in my eyes from exhaustion. I'd never been so tired in my life. I couldn't even remember how many planes I'd taken here anymore.

As I was taking a gratuitous blink, Rosalie asked, "Have you had your coffee yet?"

"I had lots of coffee."

"I bet you were too stressed to sleep, though. You should've slept," she said, chastising me for a mistake I already regretted enough. "At least you had your coffee."

I couldn't believe how little caffeine I'd had in the last week. From almost dying in the woods to waking up with Edward ready to pounce, I'd been so deprived. And, sure, I'd had seven cups of coffee since leaving Edward, but I also had jet-lag now. Worst of all, I still smelled like the planes I took. I wasn't sure I remembered to pack my perfume, but I knew I hadn't worn it in at least two days. Everything, from my daily rituals to my circadian rhythm, had been tossed to the wayside.

No wonder I looked terrible.

I rolled down the window, enjoying the fresh scents of my new environment. It helped the car sickness I felt coming on. I should've eaten on the planes, but I felt too queasy the whole time. "Ok, other problems. Go."

"Hm, what else?" Her voice was soft music in the wind that whipped through my hair. "Huge problem number two, I know the vampire. He's very…rebellious."

I groaned, hanging my head out of the window. "Sounds fun."

"Let's hope the mutt will stop his damned shaking now that you're here. That should make getting her home much easier. In any case, begin preparing yourself."

"That bad?"

"And then some."

I stewed on the info dump the whole way to the hotel, which was on a busy street corner. It was huge, almost as big as Rosalie's hat, and covered with windows. There were restaurants and bars around it that I could see myself going to if this were a vacation.

"Keep up," Rosalie urged me, opening the glass doors of the hotel's entrance.

Her heels clicked against the floor as we entered the lobby. Their red bottoms clashing with the black, white, and blue she walked on. The hotel had everything: A restaurant, a bar, a lounge upstairs, a lobby that was more expensive than my house. Even the flower arrangements gave off an air of richness. I could understand shelling out the money for plants, though.

Rosalie ignored it all in favor of the man behind the white desk to the left of the old doors leading to the back. There were technically two desks, but Rosalie forewent the woman on the right. I could guess why.

"Vänlighet är så attraktiv för mig," Rosalie purred as the man slyly handed her room key. He flushed pink and she tittered at his expense before sashaying away.

I jogged to her side, my stomach jostling uncomfortably from being so empty. "How much are you paying for three rooms?"

"Two. My suite and then theirs, which has two twin beds. They're in my suite, though," she answered, not too impressed by the place, herself. "And don't you know it's rude to inquire about money?"

I let out a dry, derisive laugh, causing her to giggle some more. We were stopped and waiting for the elevator when I asked, "Do you always stay in places like this?"

"Is there any other way to travel? I prefer renovated hotels with history, personally. They tend to remind me somewhat of my childhood." She handed me the extra key.

"I forgot that you've always been rich."

"Well, I don't consider my days as a baby applicable." The door opened and we went into the spacious, empty elevator. "But I have always been beautiful." She pranced inside and I followed, happy to press the button to close the door as she pressed our floor's button.

"And arrogant."

"You would know of arrogance," she replied, giving my hip a gentle bump with hers.

"Shut it," I said through a chuckle.

Rosalie took off her hat and pulled the pearled pins out of the bun her hair was in. Golden waves tumbled down to their full length around her waist. She shook them out, amber strands shivering into perfect place. Watching her was like watching a model in a perfume commercial 24/7.

A sneer dampened her perfection. "They're awake. I can hear him already and I'm not even focusing," she said.

I channeled out everyone else in the hotel until I finally heard Jacob's obnoxious, loud voice. He was asking Bella if she felt ok. She kept reassuring him that she wasn't even groggy, the pills had worn off completely. Rosalie wasn't as sneaky as she thought she was.

The elevator came to a stop and jarred me out of my intent listening.

"Here we go," Rosalie whispered to herself, almost inaudible. She resumed a normal volume, saying, "Problem three is most infuriating. She's decided that since she can't be with Edward that there's nothing for her back home."

We walked out, Rosalie taking the keycard out of her coat's pocket in preparation. "Not even Charlie?"

"I'm sure you'd rather hear it from the horse's mouth."

As we came to a set of double doors, I still wasn't sure what to expect. The worst was a pretty safe assumption, though. My mind leaped to all the worst outcomes as Rosalie pushed me into the room.

I wasn't used to a hotel room having more than a room for the beds and a bathroom. The suite as a whole outstretched the first floor of my house. It had more rooms, too. One looked like it was a study. And there was an entire hall that led to the bedroom, off to the right of where you entered.

"Wow."

"You get used to it," Rosalie assured me. "I've stayed in the Mannerheim Suite twice before." Her voice was missing the pleasure it usually had when she awed me with her wealth.

The place was filled with natural light, most of it coming from the open balcony. It overlooked a park full of people who were enjoying the sunlight Rosalie hid from.

Jacob was on the couch in the middle of the main room, his back to us. He faced the light pouring from the balcony's parted doors. I walked over and stood in front of him, crossing my arms. He was frowning before he even met my glare.

"You look like crap," he said, looking me up and down. Something was off about him, though. Nothing the naked eye could catch, but I could sense it. It was a pack mind thing.

Rosalie huffed and came to my side. "Try and fight me now, mongrel. We're bringing Bella home."

Jacob stood up, almost breaking the couch clean in half with the force of his action. "If you'd killed the vampire when you met with him, this wouldn't be a problem!"

I looked at her for some verification, but she was too busy snarling at Jacob. "The rules are different for my kind, dog. We can't go killing our own willy-nilly." So, she did meet with the vampire and didn't think to tell me about it.

"Coward!" Jacob roared, ready to start a fight.

"Jake, cool it," I ordered.

To my surprise, he actually listened. He used meditative breathing until the heat receded back into him. "I'm guessing Sam's orders are still in effect. Right?"

"What?" Aw, crap did I forget some new order Sam made? I was so busy with the wedding, and Peter, and the pack, and reassuring Edward, and now this—

"I thought you knew. Embry sent me an email saying Sam needed me not to phase. I haven't gotten an email saying any different since."

I'd give that Embry free rides anywhere he wanted to go when I got back. "Yeah, that's still in effect. But I didn't just come here for you. I've come for Bella, to bring her home."

"Y'know, it's not like I'm keeping her prisoner. She doesn't want to go back. Simplest solution is to kill the leech that found out about her. I'm assuming that's why you're really here. We can take him, easy."

My eyes shot out to Rosalie and she gave a subtle shake of her head. The Volturi would never overlook two shapeshifters ganging up on an innocent vampire. Well, "innocent" per their dumb laws.

"Great plan, Jake. Overruled." I crossed my arms and Rosalie was quick to mirror my stance in silent support.

"You two can go to hell!"

"Jake, please," Bella's voice came from farther in the suite. She shuffled out from the bedroom shortly after, her big brown eyes wrought with remorse. "Don't be rude to them because you're mad at me."

It was surreal to finally look at Bella. Well, look _down_ at Bella. The girl my imprint and the should-be alpha idolized beyond all measure stood a few feet away from me. I'd seen her plenty before, as a baby, and when she was hanging around Jacob for a while. The last time I'd seen her in the flesh was when I imprinted on her boyfriend. She looked healthy and her dark hair was twisted into twin fishtail braids.

"Hello, Bella," I greeted her, my brain freezing for a second when she looked at me. "Uh...I'm—"

"I know who you are," she said over me. Her heart sped up in her chest when she made direct eye-contact with me. She avoided my eyes, playing it off as she did a quick scan of my appearance. "Are you alright? You look ill."

Ok, everyone ragging on my appearance was getting old.

"Oh no, yeah, I'm great. It's obviously just a great situation all around." Her big, guilty eyes flicked away from me. "Can we talk in a room where these two aren't?"

She nodded toward the bedroom and headed back in. I followed, glancing back at Rosalie. She mouthed, "Good luck."

As I was closing the door behind myself, Jacob said, "Y'know, I owe you one, blondie. But I'm more surprised than angry that you drugged us with sleeping pills. I thought you'd be afraid of wakin' 'em up or something."

"Pray to your gods that there's never a point where I have good odds killing you and getting away with it."

And then I shut the door, locking it.

"I'm sorry about him. He's been tense since Rose showed up," Bella said, taking a seat on the lavish bed with purple and orange pillows. Her skin was tinged warm again by the gentle lighting of the chandelier. It was, like, the fifth chandelier I'd seen since walking into the hotel.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. You can call your dad at any time, though."

"If only that were true. I can't even imagine doing that to him." Her eyes dimmed then and she looked down at her lap. There was something she wasn't saying, a conclusion to her thought she wasn't willing to share.

"Give me one good reason why you can't call your dad right now."

Her voice adopted a surprising edge as she said, "I don't have to give _you_ any reasons."

"You really wanna play it that way?"

She winced, fidgeting where she sat. "No, I'm sorry. That wasn't—… I'm not even sure what to say to you." It was hard to believe she'd ever had the guts to sock Jacob one as she sat there, looking so pitiful.

"Lucky for you, I know exactly what to say. Charlie's barely functioning without you. My mom, she cooks for him, but he doesn't eat." She wrapped her arms around herself like my words had sent a chill through her. "You have to come home."

"I can't."

I motored through her denial. "Your mom isn't doing so great either. She's been losing it since the twenty-day mark passed, she calls Charlie all the time to ask about you."

"Leah—"

"Edward needs you back. He misses you so much."

She flinched at her boyfriend's name instead of fainting with relief that he still wanted her. "Believe me when I say that I miss him. I miss Charlie, too— _and_ my mom. So much."

"Alright, then I'll book the tickets."

"You can't. It's not that simple." Her eyes changed, raw pain stealing the shine from them. _"_ But I would still do it all again, even if it led me back here."

"Bella, you're here because you _chose_ to be here. You didn't have to leave and leaving didn't help anything. But it's still not too late to fix things. And, sure, it'll be messy and hard, but it's fixable."

"You're wrong. There's nothing to fix, nothing broke. Things just changed." She reached up, tucking a loose tendril that framed her face behind her ear. "You shouldn't have come here. You wouldn't have, if you'd known."

I couldn't have asked quicker, "Known what?"

She averted her eyes for a moment before meeting mine again with a fresh determination. "Is there anything you wouldn't do for family?" Then she shook her head, her lips pressing together in evident frustration. "Is there anything you wouldn't do for Edward?"

"I'm not answering that." Mostly because I already had, hours ago, and it was exactly what she wanted to hear.

Bella pressed on despite my refusal to comply, "Look, however bad this all may seem to you, I'm doing it for them. For my family and my friends. For Edward."

"Trust me, you're not doing it for them if they're the ones suffering." She didn't answer me, still staring with that stubborn gleam. "Alice can still see you and Edward together. No one can stand in the way of that future. Not me or—or anyone else who wants to tell you what to do with your life."

"He told you about the Volturi, didn't he?" She asked, idle fingers tugging down her long sleeves.

Was it that obvious? "A bit," I admitted, not wanting to limit myself in the conversation with lies. "The way I see it, we have better odds against them if we work together."

She crawled farther onto the bed, curling up into a ball with her back against the pillows. "I'll take my chances."

I stared through the curtain of dark hair she was trying her hardest to disappear into. The weirdest part of all this was that she wasn't telling me to screw off. I'd expected a colder reception as the woman who imprinted on her boyfriend, but she seemed resigned. Accepting.

I left the room, Bella's heart jumping in her chest the second I moved from my spot. Rosalie was on the balcony since a huge cloud had rolled in, her coat and gloves draped over the back of the couch. Jacob was grimacing because of it, which was probably her goal.

Closing the door behind me, I said, "You two better tell me everything you know."

"Before you got here," Rosalie started, still people-watching, "I _did_ meet with the vampire. There's another reason why it wouldn't be so easy to kill him."

"What reason?"

"I don't just know him, the whole family does. He's an old, valued ally of ours." That explained why she'd told me they'd get angry if they knew.

"Doesn't matter," Jacob chimed in. His voice was so loud and deep, chime seemed like the wrong word. He _gonged_ in. "Me and Leah can take care of this in point two seconds if we disregard Sam's orders."

"We're not doing that. Why are you pushing so hard?" I took a slow step toward him, my eyes narrowing into slits. "Do you know something? Is that why you were weird when we came in? And what've you been telling her about imprinting? Edward's and my bond isn't normal, but you wouldn't know that since you ditched your life to chase after Bella. Again."

"Why are you so happy to be Sam's _lapdog_ now?" He grinned at the way his insult made my teeth instinctively grind together. "Since when did you ever support him?"

"Since you left three weeks ago and someone had to become second. Someone better than Jared."

He stood up again, all riled up. " _You?_ No way! No freaking way!"

"Be louder, why don't you? It's not like the little spies could come back at any given moment." Jacob growled at Rosalie's sarcastic bite but didn't push things any further.

"Can't we all work together? There'll be plenty of time to hate each other once Bella's home and safe." I couldn't believe I was the reasonable one in this dynamic.

"You know what? I'm just gonna call Sam." Crap. "If I tell him what's going on—"

"He'll tell you to come home, that this isn't even our territory. Look, he doesn't even know I'm here. I came 'cause I wanna help—I'm the _only_ one who wants to help in the pack. So, time to break out those dusty, old cooperation skills and help me and Rose. Let's start with you telling us what you know."

Jacob scrubbed a hand over his shaggy hair. "Gimme a _break,"_ he muttered, hopping over the back of the couch for the door. "I'll be back later."

"We're weaker without each other!" I yelled after him. "It's safer for everyone if we pull together!" He slammed the door shut behind himself. "Dammit!"

Rosalie wasn't frustrated at all. "If you get her now, I can book a flight and we'll be gone before he gets back. I can be in Emmett's arms in less than a day." She was eager to leave, excitement in her eyes when she turned toward me.

"We're not kidnapping Bella."

"What, you think you can talk her into coming back? You, the person who caused her to want to come here in the first place? One last question, what planet do you think we're on?" She waved me off like I was about to jump on her. If anything, I was about to pass out where I was standing. "I don't expect we'll get another chance like this. There's something she's keeping from us, something the mutt now knows. The last tidbit. Although, this tidbit is bound to be the bulk of the iceberg, deceivingly hidden in her sea of secrets."

"Well, whatever it is, we'll handle it. I'm telling you, kidnapping is not the solution here. Killing isn't, either." She didn't answer me, turning around to gaze down at the park again. "Calling Carlisle sounds better by the minute."

"No." She stood statue-still, rigid, and unyielding. "If you call him, they'll all come. We're playing fast and loose as it is. Let's not tempt fate."

"I should be ok even if you meet with Aro. I'm an official member of the coven now—Carlisle and Edward both said so." Edward's arms were around me again, his breath on my shoulder as he promised me safety. He wouldn't lie.

Rosalie scoffed, facing me so I could witness the biggest eye-roll of the decade. " _Please!_ That's what they're going with? It's delusional! The Volturi would never accept you as part of our coven. You're not a vampire. The only way you would be allowed to walk away is if you were Edward's mate. Which, you aren't."

"Why would he respect me as Edward's mate, but not as a coven member?"

"I'm not saying he definitely would let you off the hook if you were, but I suspect he would. It's different when we're mated to someone." Her face softened, a telltale sign was thinking about Emmett.

"Different in what way?"

"When a vampire's mate is killed or put under duress, they react one of two ways. Rage unlike any mortal could ever experience or despondency. For those who become enraged, they can't rest until they've avenged the mate. Since Aro wants Edward to join him, killing or keeping his mate wouldn't be high on his list of priorities."

So, in the end, Aro could still easily make me his pet. "And if they all came here, he'd really call them in?"

"Yes. So, let's avoid that altogether and get this troublesome child home by ourselves. Kidnapping can be moral."

"Do you even hear yourself sometimes?" She rolled her eyes and then turned back to the park again. Everything was riding on my ability to persuade now. I was so screwed. "I'll be back. I'm gonna check on her."

I charged back into the bedroom, but things were already different from the way I'd left them. Now Bella looked depressed like her soul had leaked out of her body. "I was considering changing my mind and staying when Edward attacked Jake. That was when I knew I wasn't good for him—for either of them."

"Jake earns every ass-kicking he gets, Bella. Don't feel bad for him."

She paled, revulsion contorting her fine features. "But it happened because of me, not him. The war happened because of me, too. How many more lives will be taken because of something I did? How much more fighting is gonna be over me because I exist as I am now? What if it's Charlie who gets hurt next?"

"I'll never let anything happen to Charlie."

"Neither will I," she vowed, absentmindedly pulling down a sleeve of her flannel. "Because you're right, Leah. They shouldn't all have to suffer because of me. I'm even more sure of my decision now."

"Whatever _'decision'_ you made, you should know that I'm going back home and I'm _not_ leaving without you." Alice sent me for a reason, I wouldn't leave it behind.

"You're going to have to. And you shouldn't feel responsible for bringing me home. None of this is even your fault. It's probably your worst nightmare."

My arms went into a defensive cross over my chest. "What makes you think that? What's Jake been telling you?"

"That's not important. What's important is that I came to the conclusion a while ago that you're better for Edward than I am. You can be his equal without him having to sacrifice his morals or his beliefs. He'll never have to struggle over what he's done when he looks at you."

"It's not like that—"

"It is. That's why he hasn't come, because he knows it is, too. It's better this way."

I wanted to _throttle_ her. "The only reason he's in Forks is because he thinks you don't want him. He'd be here if he knew you wanted him to be."

She exhaled harshly, blinking away the extra shine in her eyes. "I don't buy it. Eventually, he'll stop fighting the pull toward you. He's bound to give in, just like Emily."

A blurry memory of Jacob's resurfaced where he mentioned me and Sam to her. My guess was that he'd filled her in on all the details since they'd been here. I mean, why wouldn't he have? I needed every possible thing working against me.

"It's not the same. It isn't even close to being the same situation."

"All imprinting is the same. Why would you be any different?"

This was a conversation I wanted to have on a plane that was flying us home. "Because I'm the first female shapeshifter. Pretty much everything is different with me. The bond became even more atypical after I died. I could leave you two alone and be fine. It'd be like this all never happened."

"You died?"

"At the newborn battle, I was injured and I eventually died. Since then, Edward isn't experiencing the same pull as Emily. None of this is the same."

Her lips parted before she pressed them into a narrow line. A slow minute passed, her straight eyebrows drawing together. "Then, why isn't he here?"

"I told you why."

"No, it doesn't make sense. Why hasn't he even tried calling? Last time my life was in danger, he called—"

"Danger? What Danger?" And why hadn't Alice seen it? She had to have missed it or else she would've told Edward immediately.

Her cheeks filled with red and she reached up to tuck the tendril back since it'd fallen from her ear. She was flustered, sputtering nonsense, and her sleeve slid down since she'd kept her hand up.

The gash on her arm was raw and messily stitched, which meant it wasn't Rosalie or Carlisle's work. I remembered Seth's memories of her cutting her arm on the mountain, trying to link it to the long maroon, line. No matter how I sliced it, the injury should've been more healed by now. It shouldn't need the stitches that were still keeping it closed.

Bella caught me staring way too late and fumbled to cover up again. She looked mortified as she stared at the floor.

"I know you won't believe me, but it's not what it looks like and I'll tell you anything you want to know if you don't call Edward. Please, _please_ put away the phone, Leah. I'm begging you."

I looked down to see my phone was in my hand. I didn't even remember pulling it out but I definitely wasn't putting it away.

Unless…

I hated even thinking about it, but Jacob could be right. Death could be a very valid solution now that the situation had changed. She'd said it, herself. She was in danger. That should give me a lot of slack with how forceful I could be, in Edward's eyes. Rosalie's forced kidnapping method was a messy concept and we'd get arrested before we got Bella back on U.S soil. But if I could kill this cold one in my human form, my scent would be gone by the time the Volturi found his ashes. And I seriously doubted Bella had it in her to rat me out.

I put my phone away, the loose strings of my plan tying tighter together. "I want to meet him." I let my demand sink in before I made my next move. "I meet him or I make a call and Edward does."

"He's not the danger, he would've killed me already if he was. And if you're thinking he's been feeding off of this cut, he couldn't. Vampires go into blood frenzies when they feed. I'd be dead if he'd chosen to drink from me. This is from something else."

I didn't care what excuses she had ready. "My way or the highway."

Her mouth twisted into a sour frown. "Fine, but I want your phone. I can't risk you contacting them anyway."

I sighed but gave in to her wishes, tossing her my phone. It'd be easy enough to get it back from her if I really needed it later. I was even more sure of that fact when she fumbled the easy toss. She dropped my phone on the bed before grabbing it again with steadier hands.

Yikes.

Her cheeks tinted red like she knew what I was thinking. "I'll come out when it's time to go."

"Cool." I was happy to leave the room. Despite her not being outright hateful like I would've been, there was tension in the air. I wasn't her friend.

"How useless." Rosalie was on the couch as I strolled back into the living room. Her legs were crossed, her arms loosely folded over her stomach.

I flopped down next to her, leaning my head on her shoulder. Maybe I could fit in a micro-nap before Bella was ready to go. I closed my eyes, my nose twitching as Rosalie's hair swept into it.

"I suppose her plan is to stay out here and allow the Volturi to kill her for her blatant mortality and disregard."

I peeked out of one eye at her radiance. "I don't know what she thinks'll happen if she stays out here, but I'm gonna make sure it doesn't. We're bringing her home."

"How?"

"I'm gonna kill the vampire."

Rosalie pursed her lips, twirling my hair between her fingers. "You're an idiot."

I sighed, shutting my eyes again. "Yeah, I know."

"You can't defeat a vampire in your human form and you can't risk phasing. So, which is it? Will you die for Bella or die for Bella? Of course, we could just leave her to her own devices."

"Can't leave without Jake. _Won't_ leave without Bella—and neither will Jake, by the way. I don't care what I have to do to get this done. I already decided what I was willing to sacrifice by coming here."

"Don't say that," she whispered, the sound taut and strained through her teeth. I looked up at her and caught her staring, her eyes bright with how upset she was. "How could you say that?"

"Rose, I'm sorry."

Her hand slinked out of my hair. "I'm not watching you do this."

She slipped away, leaving me alone on the couch. "Wait, I need your help—"

"I'm all for bringing Bella back, but not if it's an exchange for you. This is a perfect lose-lose game and I won't play." She flashed out of the room then, the sound of the door slamming coming seconds later. There went my last ally.

Stress bore down on me so intensely that I was sure I would've thrown up if my stomach wasn't empty. I felt even worse when an order of coffee came to the room, just the way I liked it. Rosalie probably ordered it for me while I was busy talking to Bella.

I hoped Rosalie would understand someday. I didn't want to be another footnote of disappointment in her life.

The sun was well into setting behind the horizon by the time Bella came out of the room. A weary expression aged her to where she looked twice her age. "We can go and see him now."

"Let's go." I practically ran for the door. I wanted to drown my doubts in the venom that would pour out of the cold one's head when I tore it in half.

"Wait!" Bella jogged over to where I was already standing in the hallway, braids jumping up with every brisk step. "You can have this back. We won't be apart again." Her pale hands held up my phone, the small, plastic thing nestled carefully in their center.

Better this way than snatching it from her fragile fingers later. "Thanks." It went straight back into my pocket. I didn't dare turn it back on. I couldn't, not until I had results. "Ready now?"

Bella looked a tinge green as she made a gesture toward the elevator. "Yes. Let's go."

When we got to the lobby, she butchered a Swedish farewell that made the concierges chuckle and smile. I nodded to him before following her out into the fading, orange sunset. Her dark hair reflected the sandstone sky that caused her eyes to glow their deep shade of brown. Pretty…but girlish.

I couldn't understand how anyone could look at Bella Swan and not see her for the girl she was. Edward's agonizing over turning her made even more sense to me now. She was too young to die. Too innocent.

Bella counted our steps under her breath as we walked, unaware of my more morose thoughts about her. It was nice for a change. I could think about whatever I wanted without judgment or criticism. For instance, how disturbing it was that her smile grew the closer we got to the cold one.

People started thinning out around us, too. We were in a quiet part of town, removed from curious onlookers. Might as well learn a bit more about the vampire since no one could overhear.

"What's he like?"

"You wouldn't believe any of the good things I have to say about him." I would've called her perceptive but that was a given. "He fought in every American war, though."

So, he would know how to fight, how to strategize. Not ideal. My brain was fuzzy, even with all the coffee I'd had. "He's a soldier."

She laughed like I'd made a joke. "He's a patriot. I learned from the day I met him that he's a strong believer in freedom of choice and freedom in general."

"Is that why you hang out with him? Does he make you feel better about your choices?"

She came to a sudden stop, my reflexes keeping me from bumping into her. I thought I'd upset her until she turned around, beaming. "We're here," she announced with a jovial gleam in her eyes.

We went inside a quiet restaurant with barely any people and unpleasant smells. I could tell the cooking was the reason the few patrons around only had drinks on their tables. The familiar cloying smell that cut through the stench of burnt food was what killed my appetite.

While Bella was saying something to the hostess, I tried to think of how I'd split her off from us. One thing was for sure: It wasn't gonna be a cakewalk killing a vampire while I was in my human form.

The hostess led us to a row of booths, taking us all the way to the back. Sitting with one arm over the back of his side of the booth and a menu in his free hand, was a sandy-haired, slender vampire. He looked up from his prop with eyes that weren't red. Also, definitely not gold.

What the hell?

Whereas I hesitated, Bella climbed in beside him with an eager little grin. "Hey, Garrett." So, by weird, everyone had meant happy. Bella was happy with _Garrett,_ without Edward.

"Hi, Bell," he greeted her, throwing his arm around her shoulders. It looked easy, but I knew how much self-control he had to be using.

The hostess said something in Finnish to us before leaving. Once she was gone, Garrett spoke. "Not to be rude or anything, but are you ill?"

"No." I climbed warily into the opposite side of them. "I feel amazing."

He smirked. "Glad to hear it, I think. I'm not entirely sure if you're being sarcastic… By the way, hi. I'm Garrett and it's very nice to meet you." He offered me his hand for a polite handshake.

I put my hand in his only for him to flinch away. It took me a second in my tiredness to realize why he'd reacted that way. "Leah. And I run a little hot."

"I noticed," he replied, wiggling his fingers. "Very interesting."

"More interesting than a vampire hanging around a human girl?"

"I suppose not," he replied, putting his hand back down. "You cut right to the chase, though, don't you?"

"I move fast, it's never much of a chase."

"Mmm," he hummed, examining me as if I was the world's eighth wonder. "I'm assuming you're not a human."

"You assume wrong."

He guffawed, the sound musical, but notably less pretty than the Cullens' laughter. "So, you're a human who smells weird and hasn't been killed for knowing about the existence of vampires?"

Bella was too quiet. She'd picked up the menu Garrett had abandoned and was pretending like she was trying to figure out what to eat. Her knuckles were white from how hard she was clutching it.

I was still looking at Bella as I said, "Enough small talk. Tell me what's going on."

"Sure. That's why you're here, after all. To put it simply, Bell's in a bit of a predicament and I'm helping her out of it."

"Predicament?"

Bella jumped in then but didn't look up from the menu. "He looks out for me." He'd agreed to be her protector already? Jeez, what made her so irresistible to vampires?

"I do. I've even taken up a new diet for her. Well, not new, but rediscovered. Thought I'd lose a couple pounds," Garrett joked, smiling at me. "Explains the eyes, doesn't it? They're not exactly red."

"They're not exactly gold either," I fired back.

He gave an unapologetic grin. "Let's just say I'm in the learning curve. It's not easy."

"Why bother 'rediscovering' the diet?" I asked with air quotes.

"Because my friend requires me to. Plus, I've been feeling a little bored. It'll be nice to have a companion—"

Bella interjected, "Garrett protects me. He keeps the Volturi's eyes off me whenever he can. He's a good guy." She was really playing this up, probably for Edward. She knew he'd see this exchange later.

"Tell me more. How'd you two meet?" Bella put down her menu at my question, shooting Garrett a look that seemed like a warning.

He snickered, eyes brightening as he completely missed Bella's look. "Funny story, that one. I was hunting along the docks, ready to kill someone and take their boat to wherever I wanted to go next. There's been too much chatter about the disappearances I've caused, so I had to go."

"How horrible for you," I remarked dryly.

"Quite. I like dear old Finland. The only reason I've overstayed my welcome is because I caught a beautiful scent while out on the water. I followed it to a girl in the woods with a bleeding arm. I was ready to make my kill and savor the unexpected dessert after a hearty meal, but then she saw me. And there was no fear in her eyes, no horror or confusion. She looked at me as if she knew me. Then she tilted her head, exposing her neck."

"So, now you know," Bella said with a shallow gulp.

"Know what?"

They shared a look with each other before staring at me. Bella looked like she was gonna throw up at any second. Garrett was chuckling under his breath, tickled, finding humor in what I didn't understand.

Invisible bells that only I seemed to hear started tolling. They kept ringing louder and louder until I asked, "You said she exposed her neck to you?"

"She did," Garrett reaffirmed.

But Bella knew that vampires went into blood frenzies. Why would she risk that? Why were the Volturi watching over her shoulder all the time? Why had Garrett used the word companion? Was Bella planning to tag along with the nomad when he up and moved again? Was that why he was drinking animal blood? To make traveling with her easier?

Or was that just another way he was helping her?

"The Volturi wouldn't stop watching her for no reason." I'd been so stupid.

The bells gave one last grim toll in my head before falling silent. Dead. There was no point in warning me anymore, I'd smacked straight into the body of the iceberg.

"They gave her a choice after she said she wasn't with the Olympic coven anymore," Garrett said. His voice had taken a decisive turn in tone. He'd sobered while I was connecting the dots. "She was lucky."

"They would've killed me before Rose ever found me if Aro wasn't so interested in how I'll turn out." My focus drew back to Bella where she sat with sagged shoulders.

"You should've called the Cullens as soon as you were approached by the Volturi. What the hell is wrong with you? Do you _want_ to die?" Her cheeks made a gradual shift into a telling scarlet as I glowered at her.

"Wait, I thought you did tell the Cullens. You said you would after Rose and I met," Garrett said, looking at Bella differently.

She'd lied to every single one of us. "You're such a messed up human being."

"I wouldn't expect you to understand, Leah. You don't have to sacrifice anything for your ideal life. Your brother phases, your mom knows, you have a pack to go through everything with. I'm just me and I'm by myself—"

"Don't you dare talk to _me_ about sacrifice! And you're by yourself because you left! This is self-imposed and it's pointless!"

"I'm by myself because of you! I put everything I had into Edward, I chose him over everything and everyone else. You have no idea what it's like to lose your life and still have to keep living somehow!"

I laughed in her face. "No, what I have no idea about is how you can be so pathetic when all you have to do is go home!"

"I can't!' Bella shrieked.

Garrett looked between us with wide eyes. "Whoa, ladies—"

Bella climbed out of the booth, bolting for the door. Garrett and I chased after her, following her scent and little, angry sobs. She cornered herself by running into a dark alley.

Pressing her back to the fenced dead-end, she asked me, "Don't you understand? With or without him, I _have_ to do this! I chose without him because then he won't have to be tied to me for eternity. He can tie himself to you, if he wants. He deserves to make that choice, just like he let me choose between him and Jake."

"Don't even try saying this is for him! This will _destroy_ him and you know it! That's the exact reason why you're not telling him a damn thing!"

"Does he even know you're here? Did you even ask if he wanted you to come?" Her chest heaved, glassy eyes catching starlight that reflected off her flushed face. And despite being her polar opposite, I saw so much of me in her at that moment. "Then it seems like I'm not the only one keeping secrets from Edward to help him."

"Fine. Let's air out all our dirty secrets, Swan." I ripped my phone out of its place in my pocket and flipped it open. A few unsuccessful tries to turn it on later and I realized, "You only gave it back because it was dead. Bet you even tried to snoop through it."

Bella didn't say anything, which was fitting since she seemed to prefer guilt by omission.

"Ok, this has gotten way out of hand." Garrett stepped into the gap between me and Bella. "I thought I was doing the Cullens a favor, but now I'm worried I've done a disservice."

Bella shifted her tortured gaze onto him. "Well, it's too late now. A deal's a deal. It's happening. Tonight."

Tonight. I understood the resignation now, the constant resistance. I'd arrived too late for any information I had for her to matter. In _her_ mind.

"It's not over yet. The Cullens can help you if you just let them know what's going on."

"No, I won't put them in the Volturi's way again because of my choices."

Garrett was weirdly on my side. "She's right, though, Bell. And even if she isn't, I can't go forward without their input in good conscience. I'm a friend to that family."

Friend to that family. Family friend. It hadn't hit me when Rosalie mentioned knowing him because my mind had been looking for specific words. Alice's predictions from the cafe—oh my God.

"This is why Alice sent me here." My whole purpose, the one way. I'd changed Garrett's mind by helping bring new information to light. The future with the two of them running off together must have disappeared now.

Bella clutched her bad arm, hard enough to where the stitches were straining. Horror streaked her face as she asked, "Did Alice know?" I heard the real question in her voice. Why hadn't Alice stopped her?

An unwanted interruption dropped out of the sky, landing between me and Garrett since I dodged out of their path. We'd all been too busy with each other to notice we'd been followed. For a split second, I worried it was the Volturi. That worry got replaced with dread as Jacob stood up to his full height, towering over Garrett and Bella.

"Let's take him out, Leah. Together." He started to quake, heat emanating off him like hot coals. He was too far gone and I couldn't dream of overpowering him with how exhausted I was.

"Jake, no!" Bella cried out, running over. He would maul her to death in the process of damning the pack.

I should've known something like this would happen. Alice had only seen one way because she couldn't see a future where Jacob decided to interfere. But it didn't matter what she'd seen or hadn't seen anymore. I had to do something, something I would regret immediately afterward.

I shoved Bella away and pinned Garrett to the wall, covering him with my body. Bella was still falling when Jacob phased, his claws raking down my back and my left arm. My bones withstood the blow, but I could smell all the blood. Smell, not feel. He'd sliced apart my nerve endings and I was completely numb.

My legs gave out as Bella let out a short, piercing scream. I took the sound as a context clue that I didn't look too good. Garrett ran to Bella while I slumped against the brick wall, groaning. He snatched her up, scaling the walls so he could sprint across the rooftops.

Aro would see Jacob's attempt to end Garrett's life. Would that matter? I hoped him being alive and unharmed would be enough for him to disregard it all.

"Leah! Leah, you idiot!" Jacob's huge hands pressed the scraps of his clothing to my back. He was trying to slow the bleeding. There was a growing puddle under my knees as I pressed my cheek against the wall. "You ruined everything! We had him!"

"Jacob," I said. My voice was so even for being ripped open from my neck to my ass. "Listen to me—"

"I have to go after her! They're getting away!"

Cold sweat drenched me from head to toe. My eyes stung. "If you leave me, I'll bleed out before I can heal."

Some key things healed internally and the pain came screaming into my mangled flesh. I moaned in agony, the fingers of my right hand digging into the cement. I streaked blood across the ground when I pulled them out of the holes I'd made.

"So? You deserve to die for what you've done." His hands left my back and I listened to him run away.

"Bastard," I rasped before I fell onto my side, my eyes forcing themselves closed.

Yep, this was pretty much how I imagined the worst possible scenario.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I was super busy for a while and honestly, I got a little blocked on this chapter. I knew what needed to happen, but making it all happen reasonably was such a struggle for me! It was also intimidating taking on Bella and keeping her Bella-y while also presenting her from Leah's perspective. But stick with me and I promise I'll take you to crazy, fun places. Next chapter should be coming very, very soon!
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes, I got so sick of editing this lol. Also, thank you for pushing me over two hundred kudos. It brings me so much joy that you're enjoying my stupid little story. I'm scared to disappoint you guys now, so I'll really try my hardest! I know that I'm not that good but I promise to get better as we go!


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